How to not scare guys off with my long term singleness?
October 21, 2006 7:36 PM Subscribe
I turned 30 yesterday. My longest ever sexual/romantic relationship was 6 months long, and took place when I was 21. Since then, I've had several flings, one-night stands, and extended flirtations, but nothing even remotely resembling a real/long-term relationship.
posted by anonymous to human relations (21 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
There's plenty of reasons for this, mainly being stuff like: I'm afraid of committment (i've always convinced myself that someone becoming my boyfriend would immediately precede the world's hottest man falling for me, but finding me unavailable, choosing to not mention his attraction), a conviction that men mainly want to just use me for sex (I sort of have that large-breasted/ wild hair/'exotic' look that our society has decided means 'slutty and up for it'), and then, later on, a sense of inertia, in that I'm used to being single.
So: I've decided to get over my issues already. I've decided to force myself to date and just push aside the parts of my brain that tell me not to return phone calls after the third date, or to freak out when a guy mentions doing something that's more than two weeks away.
Problem is this: how do I tell someone that I'm currently beginning to date, if/when they ask (and they might, because its going well) that they are theoretically my first real adult relationship? (I'm way to old to have it just seem normal.) How do i not seem like weirdo or freak or just generally someone who must have something wrong with her?