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Riddles that 6 year olds will find amusing?
October 12, 2006 9:52 AM   Subscribe

Do you know any riddles that first graders (age 6) will be amused by?

Riddle websites and books that I have found so far are awash with riddles that are extremely lame, or too sophisticated, or rely on outdated knowledge and vocabulary. Here's one decent example of what I am looking for:

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?

A: Because seven ate nine!
posted by chr1sb0y to Writing & Language (71 answers total) 43 users marked this as a favorite
 
You are riding on a horse, but to your right there is a big drop off. In front of you is a camel, behind you is a lion, and to your left is an elephant. Everyone is running at the same speed, what can you do?
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 9:55 AM on October 12, 2006


how can you be standing behind mommy when mommy is standing behind you?
posted by milarepa at 9:59 AM on October 12, 2006


Why did the elephant stand on a marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate.

Why did the elephant wear red tennis shoes? Because his yellow ones were in the wash.
posted by marsha56 at 10:00 AM on October 12, 2006


How do you take a sick pig to the hospital?

In a hambulance!
posted by Pater Aletheias at 10:00 AM on October 12, 2006 [1 favorite]


q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

a: fshhhhhhh
posted by pinksoftsoap at 10:05 AM on October 12, 2006


Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? The baby, because he's a little Bigger.

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

How can you tell if an elephant is hiding under your bed? Your nose is touching the ceiling.

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:05 AM on October 12, 2006 [2 favorites]


Oh I have a couple slayers. I used to host birthday parties. The delivery, you must know, is trés important.

1. Q: What's green, has four wheels and flies? A: A Garbage Truck!

2. Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:05 AM on October 12, 2006


The whole "What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs" series is good too.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:06 AM on October 12, 2006


Ambrosia, I was just about to post #2. It kills, every time.

Another--why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:07 AM on October 12, 2006


(Also note that your opinions on what makes a lame joke won't be shared by six-year-olds. By all means, nix the ones that call for prior knowledge that the kids don't have, but finding stupid jokes side-splittingly hilarious is part of being six years old.)
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:07 AM on October 12, 2006


Of course, there's the old standby:

Why'd the chicken cross the road?
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 10:09 AM on October 12, 2006


Q: What has more legs, one cow or no cows?
A: One cow has 4 legs, no cow has more legs than that.

Except this 6 legged one and this 5 legged one of course.
posted by langeNU at 10:11 AM on October 12, 2006


1. Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? A: Time to get a new fence?

2. Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A newspaper
posted by DieHipsterDie at 10:12 AM on October 12, 2006


What's green and red and goes 100 mph?
A frog in a blender.

Why did the baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:12 AM on October 12, 2006


Where do kings keep their armies? In their sleevies.

Where do sheep get their hair cut? At the baa-baa shop.
posted by nixxon at 10:13 AM on October 12, 2006 [2 favorites]


Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Nacho Cheese!

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
posted by stupidcomputernickname at 10:16 AM on October 12, 2006


2. Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A nun, falling down stairs.
posted by owenkun at 10:17 AM on October 12, 2006


Why did the chicken go halfway across the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.

John's father has four children; three are named Onesie Twosie, and Threesie. What is the fourth child's name?
John.

What did the Lego pirate say when he lost his leg?
Where'd my Lego leg go?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:19 AM on October 12, 2006


My favorite joke of all time was told to my girlfriend by a 7-year-old on the beach one day.

What did the farmer say when he opened up his barn and his tractor was gone?

"Where's my tractor?"
posted by beaucoupkevin at 10:20 AM on October 12, 2006 [4 favorites]


Previously.
posted by fuzzbean at 10:20 AM on October 12, 2006


Q: Where do generals keep their armies?
A: In their sleevies.

Q: How do you catch an elephant?
A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a peanut.

Q: Why do gorillas have such big fingers?
A: Because they have such big nostrils.

Be sure to visit The Sneeze's Jokes from the Booster Seat for some riddles written by a 4-year old.... includes such gems as:

Q: What did the watermelon say to the giraffe?
A: Dale, I'm going to jail!
posted by Robot Johnny at 10:21 AM on October 12, 2006


And if I can suggest a site of my own, I have a new-but-growing collection of Stupid Animal Jokes...
posted by Robot Johnny at 10:24 AM on October 12, 2006


Q: What's the longest word in the English language?
A: Smiles, because there's a mile between the first and last letter.

This is my favorite joke, possibly ever (told to me by a 5-year old.) Note that it is good with either punchline, but the absurd punchline is much better.

Q: Do you smell up-dog?
(What's up-dog?)
A1: Nothin', what's up with you, dog?
A2: Nothin', what's up with you, PICKLES? (You have to emphasize "pickles" while pointing downward forcefully in a "Yo yo yo" sort of way.)
posted by nekton at 10:26 AM on October 12, 2006 [2 favorites]


Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c- MOOO!

--

How do you catch a rabbit?

Lie on the ground and make a sound like a carrot.

--

What do you do with a green elephant?

Leave it on the tree until it's ripe.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 10:27 AM on October 12, 2006


Q.What do you do if an elephant swallows you?

A.Run around in circles 'til you're all pooped out.

(This one doesn't always fly right, as not all kids are familiar with using "pooped out" to mean tired. Without that, it loses its dual meaning.)
posted by routergirl at 10:28 AM on October 12, 2006


Oh, and what's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts.
posted by routergirl at 10:28 AM on October 12, 2006


Q. What's an astronaut's favorite meal?
A. Launch!
posted by sdrawkcab at 10:30 AM on October 12, 2006


What's brown and sounds like a bell?

"DUNNNNNNNG"
posted by Greg Nog at 10:34 AM on October 12, 2006


If I was a 6-year-old, I would be a little upset by babies being stapled to stuff.

My nephew told a pretty good one at my wedding -

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other SLIDE.
posted by mckenney at 10:35 AM on October 12, 2006


My son's absolute favorite

Q: What looks just like one half loaf of bread?
A: The other half!

And they love knock knock jokes (half the hilarity is when kids get so excited they mess up the protocol and start screaming "Knock Knock! Knock Knock!"):

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Car go beep beep!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cow
Cow who?
No, cows go Moo!
posted by jamaro at 10:36 AM on October 12, 2006


I think elephant jokes are your key here.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 10:36 AM on October 12, 2006


Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
posted by Merdryn at 10:41 AM on October 12, 2006


Sorry, not a riddle, but kids still love it.
posted by Merdryn at 10:41 AM on October 12, 2006


What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Smalls like carrots!
posted by Merdryn at 10:42 AM on October 12, 2006


(smalls = smells)

I need a new typist.
posted by Merdryn at 10:42 AM on October 12, 2006


I think elephant jokes are your key here.

Q: How do you get down off an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down off a duck.

Q: How do you make an elephant float?
A: Add two scoops of ice cream and a can of root beer to one elephant.
posted by langeNU at 10:48 AM on October 12, 2006


Why is six afraid of seven?
'Cause seven eight nine.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.


Up-dog variation:
(point to something invisible)
"Hey that looks like samatta."
"What's samatta?"
"Nothing, whatsamatta you?"
posted by Mister_A at 10:53 AM on October 12, 2006


q: What did 0 say to 8?

a: nice belt

(this cracks me up for some reason)
posted by jdl at 10:54 AM on October 12, 2006


I have to second (third) the "brown and sticky" joke. It's a big hit every time.

Similarly:

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A carrot!
posted by winston at 10:54 AM on October 12, 2006


What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
posted by 4ster at 11:12 AM on October 12, 2006


DieHipsterDie, every 6 year old *knows* that the answer to "what's black and white and read all over" is an embarrassed zebra!
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 11:19 AM on October 12, 2006


You: Say knock knock.
Kid: Knock knock.
You: Who's there?

....
posted by croutonsupafreak at 11:27 AM on October 12, 2006


from my distant childhood:
Four stiff standers
Four dilly danders
Two lookers
Two hookers
And a flip-flap
What is it?


(A cow)
posted by anadem at 11:32 AM on October 12, 2006


Zach Galifianakis at preschool
posted by sonofsamiam at 11:45 AM on October 12, 2006


How do you catch a wild rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way -- unique up on it.
posted by forrest at 11:56 AM on October 12, 2006


Q: A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays only three days, but leaves on Friday. How does he do it?

A: His horse's name is Friday!

tee-hee :)
posted by sprocket87 at 12:00 PM on October 12, 2006


Told to me by my goddaughter, when she was 6:

what kind of bees give milk?

boobies!
posted by luriete at 12:00 PM on October 12, 2006


What did one wall say to the other?

Meet you at the corner!
posted by juggler at 12:04 PM on October 12, 2006


What kind of keys don't open doors?

Donkeys, Turkeys, and Monkeys!!
posted by nimsey lou at 12:05 PM on October 12, 2006


How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.

What do you name a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he won't come when you call him.
posted by routergirl at 12:16 PM on October 12, 2006


Q: What's green, grows on the ground and has wheels?
A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
--
Q: Ask me if I'm a frog. (Are you a frog?)
A: (Big smile, incredulous look...) No!
posted by 10ch at 12:21 PM on October 12, 2006 [1 favorite]


Oh and...

Q: Where do bees go to pee?
A: The BP Station.
posted by 10ch at 12:22 PM on October 12, 2006


Steven C. Den Beste, I was waitin for you to finish it, but you dropped the ball!

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees.


...You ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.

Works, don't it?
posted by toomanyplugs at 12:28 PM on October 12, 2006


Q: What did the snail say as he jumped on the back of a turtle?
A: *throw hands up* Wheeeeeee!

Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
A: He was trying to find Pooh

Q: What were the three best years of President Bush's life?
A: The first grade.

The last might not seem a kids joke, but my son overheard it and tells it at kindergarten and loves the fact that he can crack up a room of adults with it.
posted by LarryC at 12:28 PM on October 12, 2006


thanks everyone!!!!
posted by chr1sb0y at 12:30 PM on October 12, 2006


I loved this one when I was 8:

How do you get out of a room with no doors and no windows, only a table and a mirror?

You look in the mirror you see what you saw. Take the saw and cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole; you jump in the hole and you're out!
posted by yeti at 1:07 PM on October 12, 2006 [3 favorites]


You are riding on a horse, but to your right there is a big drop off. In front of you is a camel, behind you is a lion, and to your left is an elephant. Everyone is running at the same speed, what can you do?
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 12:55 PM EST on October 12


FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT CAN I DO?
posted by bDiddy at 1:42 PM on October 12, 2006 [2 favorites]


You are riding on a horse, but to your right there is a big drop off. In front of you is a camel, behind you is a lion, and to your left is an elephant. Everyone is running at the same speed, what can you do?
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 12:55 PM EST on October 12

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT CAN I DO?


How about go around in circles on a merry-go-round?
posted by walleeguy at 2:09 PM on October 12, 2006


Why can't the bicycle stand up?
It's two-tired.
posted by plinth at 2:12 PM on October 12, 2006


oh. thanks walleeguy!
posted by bDiddy at 2:13 PM on October 12, 2006


Here are some links for you: one two three
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 2:21 PM on October 12, 2006


Umm, bDiddy, you keep going straight...
posted by michswiss at 2:22 PM on October 12, 2006


Told to me by a six year old:

If you're an American when you're outside the bathroom, what are you when you're in it?
*
*
*
European (You're a peein')
posted by jvilter at 3:47 PM on October 12, 2006 [1 favorite]


What do you call a blind buck?
No-eye deer.

What do you call a blind, legless buck?
Still no-eye deer.

What do you call a blind, legless, castrated buck?
Still no f*****g eye deer.

(OK, that last one is probably NSF6-yr-olds)
posted by essexjan at 3:56 PM on October 12, 2006


My favorite kid jokes:

A duck goes into the drugstore and asks the drugist for some chapstick. The drugist gives it to him, and asks, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck says, "Just put it on my bill."

Q. When does a policeman smell?
A. When he's on doody.
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 4:41 PM on October 12, 2006 [2 favorites]


Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One says to the other 'Can you smell fish?'.
posted by hmca at 5:06 PM on October 12, 2006


How can you fit 5 consecutive 'and's into a setence and it still make sense?

The Landlord of The Dog and Duck orders a new sign for his pub.
When it is delivered he says to the sign writer "That's no good". " Why not" asks the sign writer. "Well" says the landlord " You've not left enough space between Dog and and and and and Duck".

posted by hmca at 5:17 PM on October 12, 2006


What color would you color the sun and the wind? The sun rose and the wind blue.
posted by Melsky at 6:55 PM on October 12, 2006


Lots of jokes, not many that I'd call "riddles" in the usual sense.

One that I remember had me stumped is:
Q: What can go up a chimney down, but can't go down a chimney up?
A: An umbrella

How about the traditional "When I was going to St. Ives..." puzzler?
posted by Chunder at 1:46 AM on October 13, 2006


A duck goes into the drugstore and asks the drugist for some chapstick. The drugist gives it to him, and asks, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck says, "Just put it on my bill."

Q. When does a policeman smell?
A. When he's on doody.


I laughed out loud (no, really) at both of these. Further proof that I am 6.
posted by pardonyou? at 7:52 AM on October 13, 2006


Kevin's tractor joke killed me.
posted by pracowity at 2:33 AM on October 18, 2006


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