Comments on: Riddles that 6 year olds will find amusing?

Question: Riddles that 6 year olds will find amusing?

chr1sb0y — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 09:52:54 -0800

Do you know any riddles that first graders (age 6) will be amused by?

Riddle websites and books that I have found so far are awash with riddles that are extremely lame, or too sophisticated, or rely on outdated knowledge and vocabulary. Here's one decent example of what I am looking for:

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?

A: Because seven ate nine!

By: kingfisher, his musclebound cat

kingfisher, his musclebound cat — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 09:55:23 -0800

By: milarepa

milarepa — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 09:59:05 -0800

how can you be standing behind mommy when mommy is standing behind you?

By: marsha56

marsha56 — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:00:20 -0800

Why did the elephant stand on a marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate.

Why did the elephant wear red tennis shoes? Because his yellow ones were in the wash.

By: Pater Aletheias

Pater Aletheias — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:00:33 -0800

How do you take a sick pig to the hospital?

In a hambulance!

By: pinksoftsoap

pinksoftsoap — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:05:11 -0800

q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

a: fshhhhhhh

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:05:15 -0800

Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? The baby, because he's a little Bigger.

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

How can you tell if an elephant is hiding under your bed? Your nose is touching the ceiling.

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:05:16 -0800

Oh I have a couple slayers. I used to host birthday parties. The delivery, you must know, is trés important.

1. Q: What's green, has four wheels and flies? A: A Garbage Truck!

2. Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick!

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:06:33 -0800

The whole "What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs" series is good too.

By: MrMoonPie

MrMoonPie — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:07:45 -0800

Ambrosia, I was just about to post #2. It kills, every time.

Another--why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:07:54 -0800

(Also note that your opinions on what makes a lame joke won't be shared by six-year-olds. By all means, nix the ones that call for prior knowledge that the kids don't have, but finding stupid jokes side-splittingly hilarious is part of being six years old.)

By: Taken Outtacontext

Taken Outtacontext — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:09:29 -0800

Of course, there's the old standby:

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

By: langeNU

langeNU — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:11:51 -0800

Q: What has more legs, one cow or no cows?
A: One cow has 4 legs, no cow has more legs than that.

Except this 6 legged one and this 5 legged one of course.

By: DieHipsterDie

DieHipsterDie — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:12:00 -0800

1. Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? A: Time to get a new fence?

2. Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A newspaper

By: JohnnyGunn

JohnnyGunn — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:12:55 -0800

What's green and red and goes 100 mph?
A frog in a blender.

Why did the baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.

By: nixxon

nixxon — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:13:53 -0800

Where do kings keep their armies? In their sleevies.

Where do sheep get their hair cut? At the baa-baa shop.

By: stupidcomputernickname

stupidcomputernickname — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:16:35 -0800

Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Nacho Cheese!

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

By: owenkun

owenkun — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:17:32 -0800

2. Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A nun, falling down stairs.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:19:42 -0800

Why did the chicken go halfway across the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.

John's father has four children; three are named Onesie Twosie, and Threesie. What is the fourth child's name?
John.

What did the Lego pirate say when he lost his leg?
Where'd my Lego leg go?

By: beaucoupkevin

beaucoupkevin — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:20:51 -0800

My favorite joke of all time was told to my girlfriend by a 7-year-old on the beach one day.

What did the farmer say when he opened up his barn and his tractor was gone?

"Where's my tractor?"

By: fuzzbean

fuzzbean — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:20:54 -0800

Previously.

By: Robot Johnny

Robot Johnny — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:21:12 -0800

Q: Where do generals keep their armies?
A: In their sleevies.

Q: How do you catch an elephant?
A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a peanut.

Q: Why do gorillas have such big fingers?
A: Because they have such big nostrils.

Be sure to visit The Sneeze's Jokes from the Booster Seat for some riddles written by a 4-year old.... includes such gems as:

Q: What did the watermelon say to the giraffe?
A: Dale, I'm going to jail!

By: Robot Johnny

Robot Johnny — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:24:40 -0800

And if I can suggest a site of my own, I have a new-but-growing collection of Stupid Animal Jokes...

By: nekton

nekton — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:26:58 -0800

Q: What's the longest word in the English language?
A: Smiles, because there's a mile between the first and last letter.

This is my favorite joke, possibly ever (told to me by a 5-year old.) Note that it is good with either punchline, but the absurd punchline is much better.

Q: Do you smell up-dog?
(What's up-dog?)
A1: Nothin', what's up with you, dog?
A2: Nothin', what's up with you, PICKLES? (You have to emphasize "pickles" while pointing downward forcefully in a "Yo yo yo" sort of way.)

By: Dipsomaniac

Dipsomaniac — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:27:17 -0800

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c- MOOO!

--

How do you catch a rabbit?

Lie on the ground and make a sound like a carrot.

--

What do you do with a green elephant?

Leave it on the tree until it's ripe.

By: routergirl

routergirl — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:28:10 -0800

Q.What do you do if an elephant swallows you?

A.Run around in circles 'til you're all pooped out.

(This one doesn't always fly right, as not all kids are familiar with using "pooped out" to mean tired. Without that, it loses its dual meaning.)

By: routergirl

routergirl — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:28:51 -0800

Oh, and what's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts.

By: sdrawkcab

sdrawkcab — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:30:29 -0800

Q. What's an astronaut's favorite meal?
A. Launch!

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:34:00 -0800

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

"DUNNNNNNNG"

By: mckenney

mckenney — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:35:27 -0800

If I was a 6-year-old, I would be a little upset by babies being stapled to stuff.

My nephew told a pretty good one at my wedding -

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other SLIDE.

By: jamaro

jamaro — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:36:33 -0800

My son's absolute favorite

Q: What looks just like one half loaf of bread?
A: The other half!

And they love knock knock jokes (half the hilarity is when kids get so excited they mess up the protocol and start screaming "Knock Knock! Knock Knock!"):

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Car go beep beep!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cow
Cow who?
No, cows go Moo!

By: Steven C. Den Beste

Steven C. Den Beste — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:36:34 -0800

I think elephant jokes are your key here.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees.

By: Merdryn

Merdryn — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:41:28 -0800

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

By: Merdryn

Merdryn — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:41:58 -0800

Sorry, not a riddle, but kids still love it.

By: Merdryn

Merdryn — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:42:18 -0800

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Smalls like carrots!

By: Merdryn

Merdryn — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:42:31 -0800

(smalls = smells)

I need a new typist.

By: langeNU

langeNU — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:48:01 -0800

I think elephant jokes are your key here.

Q: How do you get down off an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down off a duck.

Q: How do you make an elephant float?
A: Add two scoops of ice cream and a can of root beer to one elephant.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:53:33 -0800

Why is six afraid of seven?
'Cause seven eight nine.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.

Up-dog variation:
(point to something invisible)
"Hey that looks like samatta."
"What's samatta?"
"Nothing, whatsamatta you?"

By: jdl

jdl — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:54:04 -0800

q: What did 0 say to 8?

a: nice belt

(this cracks me up for some reason)

By: winston

winston — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:54:12 -0800

I have to second (third) the "brown and sticky" joke. It's a big hit every time.

Similarly:

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A carrot!

By: 4ster

4ster — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:12:49 -0800

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

By: Taken Outtacontext

Taken Outtacontext — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:19:19 -0800

DieHipsterDie, every 6 year old *knows* that the answer to "what's black and white and read all over" is an embarrassed zebra!

By: croutonsupafreak

croutonsupafreak — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:27:52 -0800

You: Say knock knock.
Kid: Knock knock.
You: Who's there?

....

By: anadem

anadem — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:32:57 -0800

from my distant childhood:
Four stiff standers
Four dilly danders
Two lookers
Two hookers
And a flip-flap
What is it?

(A cow)

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:45:59 -0800

Zach Galifianakis at preschool

By: forrest

forrest — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:56:52 -0800

How do you catch a wild rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way -- unique up on it.

By: sprocket87

sprocket87 — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:00:10 -0800

Q: A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays only three days, but leaves on Friday. How does he do it?

A: His horse's name is Friday!

tee-hee :)

By: luriete

luriete — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:00:21 -0800

Told to me by my goddaughter, when she was 6:

what kind of bees give milk?

boobies!

By: juggler

juggler — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:04:45 -0800

What did one wall say to the other?

Meet you at the corner!

By: nimsey lou

nimsey lou — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:05:28 -0800

What kind of keys don't open doors?

Donkeys, Turkeys, and Monkeys!!

By: routergirl

routergirl — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:16:49 -0800

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.

What do you name a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he won't come when you call him.

By: 10ch

10ch — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:21:02 -0800

Q: What's green, grows on the ground and has wheels?
A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
--
Q: Ask me if I'm a frog. (Are you a frog?)
A: (Big smile, incredulous look...) No!

By: 10ch

10ch — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:22:42 -0800

Oh and...

Q: Where do bees go to pee?
A: The BP Station.

By: toomanyplugs

toomanyplugs — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:28:21 -0800

Steven C. Den Beste, I was waitin for you to finish it, but you dropped the ball!

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees.

...You ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.

Works, don't it?

By: LarryC

LarryC — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:28:53 -0800

Q: What did the snail say as he jumped on the back of a turtle?
A: *throw hands up* Wheeeeeee!

Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
A: He was trying to find Pooh

Q: What were the three best years of President Bush's life?
A: The first grade.

The last might not seem a kids joke, but my son overheard it and tells it at kindergarten and loves the fact that he can crack up a room of adults with it.

By: chr1sb0y

chr1sb0y — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 12:30:33 -0800

thanks everyone!!!!

By: yeti

yeti — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 13:07:53 -0800

I loved this one when I was 8:

How do you get out of a room with no doors and no windows, only a table and a mirror?

You look in the mirror you see what you saw. Take the saw and cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole; you jump in the hole and you're out!

By: bDiddy

bDiddy — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 13:42:29 -0800

You are riding on a horse, but to your right there is a big drop off. In front of you is a camel, behind you is a lion, and to your left is an elephant. Everyone is running at the same speed, what can you do?
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 12:55 PM EST on October 12

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT CAN I DO?

By: walleeguy

walleeguy — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 14:09:21 -0800

By: plinth

plinth — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 14:12:55 -0800

Why can't the bicycle stand up?
It's two-tired.

By: bDiddy

bDiddy — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 14:13:47 -0800

oh. thanks walleeguy!

By: Steven C. Den Beste

Steven C. Den Beste — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 14:21:20 -0800

Here are some links for you: one two three

By: michswiss

michswiss — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 14:22:10 -0800

Umm, bDiddy, you keep going straight...

By: jvilter

jvilter — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 15:47:24 -0800

Told to me by a six year old:

If you're an American when you're outside the bathroom, what are you when you're in it?
*
*
*
European (You're a peein')

By: essexjan

essexjan — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 15:56:44 -0800

What do you call a blind buck?
No-eye deer.

What do you call a blind, legless buck?
Still no-eye deer.

What do you call a blind, legless, castrated buck?
Still no f*****g eye deer.

(OK, that last one is probably NSF6-yr-olds)

By: ObscureReferenceMan

ObscureReferenceMan — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 16:41:33 -0800

My favorite kid jokes:

A duck goes into the drugstore and asks the drugist for some chapstick. The drugist gives it to him, and asks, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck says, "Just put it on my bill."

Q. When does a policeman smell?
A. When he's on doody.

By: hmca

hmca — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 17:06:20 -0800

Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One says to the other 'Can you smell fish?'.

By: hmca

hmca — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 17:17:18 -0800

How can you fit 5 consecutive 'and's into a setence and it still make sense?

The Landlord of The Dog and Duck orders a new sign for his pub.
When it is delivered he says to the sign writer "That's no good". " Why not" asks the sign writer. "Well" says the landlord " You've not left enough space between Dog and and and and and Duck".

By: Melsky

Melsky — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 18:55:16 -0800

What color would you color the sun and the wind? The sun rose and the wind blue.

By: Chunder

Chunder — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 01:46:37 -0800

Lots of jokes, not many that I'd call "riddles" in the usual sense.

One that I remember had me stumped is:
Q: What can go up a chimney down, but can't go down a chimney up?
A: An umbrella

How about the traditional "When I was going to St. Ives..." puzzler?

By: pardonyou?

pardonyou? — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 07:52:24 -0800

A duck goes into the drugstore and asks the drugist for some chapstick. The drugist gives it to him, and asks, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck says, "Just put it on my bill."

Q. When does a policeman smell?
A. When he's on doody.

I laughed out loud (no, really) at both of these. Further proof that I am 6.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 02:33:27 -0800

Kevin's tractor joke killed me.