How can a geek/introvert establish a rapport with those soft cuddly things which possess higher fat/muscle ratio (women)?
Ok, my previous questions will show you that I've had a bit of a rough time of late [1
], but I have made a lot of +ve steps to change my life [3
] to become a more pro-active, social creature that's not constantly torn by self-loathing and internal strife.
Additionally, for reasons best left unsaid the relationship went belly up (she couldn't handle me trying to improve myself) and I gave up on girl X because I realised I need to work out stuff for myself and not just jump from frying pan to fire.
I find I am actually quite AWESOME at establishing rapport, and hanging out with guys. I can approach a random guy and have a conversation with him, usually about technology, his interests, etc. The usual flow of conversation is a hello followed by some self-deprecating remarks, questions about work, and that just kinda launches it off.
Well, with the chicks this doesn't seem to work. Mostly they will talk about work and stuff but attempts to take it further get shut down pretty quick. This leads to long awkward pauses where I end up just wandering off or making bad jokes. I blame this on being in an all male-environment and having been in a relationship with one girl for so long. I just don't know what women talk about/how to talk to them!
Funnily enough I seem to find modest-to-good success with girls through more written mediums, (IM, email). Yes, I'm the poor sad geek that freezes up face-to-face. But more than that I've been told by more than one person that my personality and humour comes out much more clearly in written text.
So, (1) how/what to talk to women about and (2)How do I transition my cyber-success to meatspace? [treating it like an IM conversation face-to-face doesn't go down to well :-P]