How can I sleep through the night?

October 4, 2006 6:31 AM

How can I sleep through the night?

I did a search on this topic, but nothing seemed quite right, so here are the details.

For the past month, I have been waking up 4-5 times during the night and I am exhausted. I have moved in with my significant other and we now have a 10 week old kitten. Since the move, I have not been able to sleep through the night.

Before, I slept soundly and only woke up if I really had to go to the bathroom. Now I wake up (I think) because I am anticipating something.

I wake up thinking I don't have enough room on the bed when in reality there is more than enough room. I wake up thinking that the kitten needs something when in reality she is sleeping soundly.

I never have problems falling asleep the first time and I can always fall asleep again after I wake up, though sometimes it takes about a half an hour.

I should mention that I feel comfortable/safe in my new apartment and that the bed isn't the problem, it's the same bed I had at my old place.

What can I do to calm down and sleep through the night again? I am exhausted in the morning/all day.

posted by Newbornstranger to health & fitness (18 comments total)

I hate to say this, but ever since I got cats (back then, kittens), I was so terrified I'd roll over and crush them that I went from someone who slept like a rock to someone who is now a light sleeper even though it's been 3 years now and they're fully grown (huge!) cats.

I imagine there are ways to sleep more soundly, but it would probably involve conditioning yourself to ignore some kind of alertness response that exists as a result of your newfound nightly bedmate(s). Time may help you more than it helped me - I hope it does!
posted by twiggy at 6:38 AM on October 4, 2006

I had that problem when learning to sleep with significant other + puppy. It helped kenelling the puppy at night, because then I wasn't afraid that she was chewing something (a normal occurance when she's awake and running around). It also helped learning to sleep up *against* each other... not only is the contact nice when you do wake up (especially if you're very much in love the other person), but it keeps you from kicking each other or being too active during the night.
Note: It was also combined with anxiety attacks over stuff in my work life.

Finally, I also sleep using earplugs and Melatonin. :-P But that's normal for me.
posted by SpecialK at 6:38 AM on October 4, 2006

Do you read or watch TV in bed? If so, you may want to stop, even if you used to be able to with no sleep problems. I developed horrible insomnia a few years ago and once I stopped reading in bed before going to sleep (on a Dr.'s suggestion) the problem cleared up a lot.
posted by lunasol at 6:48 AM on October 4, 2006

You say you feel safe, etc., but if you are really waking up due to these concerns, it seems that there is a stress issue of some sort, and that is something that can only be dealt with during the day (with normal stress reducers, such as meditation, time management, and so on). If, on the other hand, you are waking up for other reasons and just thinking about these things when you wake up, I have found earplugs and an eyemask very helpful in sleeping through the night.
posted by underwater at 6:54 AM on October 4, 2006

White noise or an ocean cd on repeat.

No napping under any circumstances.

Ged up at the same time, no snooze alarm. If you are tired, go to bed earlier.

Make sure you have a good substantial dinner.
posted by ewkpates at 6:58 AM on October 4, 2006

Sharing a bed 'drains men's brains'.
posted by slimepuppy at 7:00 AM on October 4, 2006

You might want to get checked for sleep apnea. The crazy thoughts may just be a side effect of waking up when you've stopped breathing. Your profile sez the t-dot... the Canadian Sleep Society (yes, there is one) maintains a list of sleep clinics across the country. There are several listed in Toronto.
posted by GuyZero at 7:19 AM on October 4, 2006

Is it dark in your bedroom? Really dark? I wake up a lot less since we got blackout curtain linings and wouldn't be without them now.
posted by teleskiving at 7:42 AM on October 4, 2006

In Germany I discovered the custom of separate bed covers for each side. At first, I thought it looked loathsome. In practice, it is fantastic. Snuggling is really simple, not the irritation I'd expected. Sleeping though is greatly enhanced when your cover is your own.

It also helps to have a king-size bed (European 200 cm x 200 cm)! In hotels, my partner and I always choose to have 2 beds, unless a king is available.

Cats learn to deal with sleeping humans. Mine took to sleeping safely out of reach. I used to be a very active sleeper.
posted by Goofyy at 7:47 AM on October 4, 2006

To kind of split Goofyy's advice, if you can't get a king size bed then consider a king size duvet, that way you can snuggle up independently and without the separate bed covers (if you don't like the sound of that).

Are you getting regular exercise? Not been disrupted by spending more time with your partner? I have to admit to some similar problems with less sleep since moving in with my SO.
posted by biffa at 7:56 AM on October 4, 2006

I wake up thinking I don't have enough room on the bed when in reality there is more than enough room.

One could read all sorts of psychological implications into that, if one were so inclined.

So what the hell, I'll go ahead: it sounds like you might have some remaining anxiety about the whole moving in together thing. It can be daunting to share your physical and emotional space with someone, and trouble sleeping would be a fairly classic way for that to manifest. Are you getting enough alone time?
posted by tkolar at 8:11 AM on October 4, 2006

It is difficult for many people to start sharing a bed with someone on a nightly basis - my boyfriend and I both had some sleep problems when we first lived together. I think it's rather natural - studies have shown that we maintain some "knowledge" of our sleep positions and of those in bed with us - you are used to having a whole bed, and now you have half or less. This may be "enough room," but it's certainly not the amount you're used to. After awhile, our sleep patterns became more regular, and now it can be difficult to sleep apart!

You should have a talk with your SO and discuss alternate sleeping options, if this ever becomes a very serious problem. You shouldn't be afraid to get up and sleep on the couch, for example, if you think it would help get a good nights sleep.
posted by muddgirl at 8:58 AM on October 4, 2006

Melatonin (the chemical your brain manufactures from Seratonin to put your body to sleep) is available at vitamin shoppes/health food stores. Try to find the lowest dosage possible as it can cause you to feel groggy in the morning. Between 0.5 and 1.0 mg should do the trick (I have a larger dosage but break the tablets in half). Make sure you get the sublingual form that dissolves under your tongue as it hits your blood stream in minutes. Take it about half an hour before you want to go to bed. If it works for you, only use it a couple of times per week or else your body will manufacture less Melatonin on its own.
posted by iurodivii at 9:52 AM on October 4, 2006

Exercise, exercise, exercise. Strenuous, regular exercise. Not only will it (obviously) make you physically tired, it is a great stress reliever.
posted by scratch at 10:58 AM on October 4, 2006

I think you've got two possible issues here and you need to work out which one is causing your sleep problem.

1. The cat is keeping you awake. This is either because she makes noise in the night that wakes you up, or you are restless because you are afraid you'll squish her at night or even possibly she just comes and bites your feet at night (kittens tend to do things like this, I'm shocked by how little sleep young cats seem to need compared to old cats!).

2. You are having trouble sleeping with your SO. Again, could be because you are used to more bedspace or maybe she steals all the covers, or crowds you (as you suggested in your post).

From what you say, I suspect it is probably the cat, so I'd start by locking the cat out of the room for the night or coming up with some other way to take her out of the picture and see what happens.

Then if that doesn't work, and only then, talk to the missus! :)
posted by ranglin at 4:39 PM on October 4, 2006

You may be too warm at night with another person and a feline in the bed. The body's temperature wants to drop at night; a cooler room and cooler bed promote sleep. When I get insomnia, it's because I have stayed up late reading or web-surfing and the computer heats my sleep area.

Try lighter covers or turning down the thermostat an hour before you go to bed.

Exercise before bed will raise your core temperature and you won't be able to sleep.
posted by bad grammar at 4:48 PM on October 4, 2006

Have you been consuming more caffeine than usual? I have had sleep problems lately, similar to yours, and fixed it by cutting it out and getting over my caffeine addiction.

I didn't actually have that much caffeine in my diet (only a can or two of diet coke per day), and I wasn't sure there was that much caffeine in it. But I stopped, sucked in the caffeine withdrawal and have slept much much better since.

Give it a go.
posted by TheOtherGuy at 5:33 PM on October 4, 2006

See a doctor, who may want to test your for apnea, as suggested above, or may first suggest trying Ambien or Lunesta (the latter is reportedly better for "staying asleep" as opposed to "falling asleep" issues).
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 6:59 PM on October 4, 2006