Am I being fair?
October 2, 2006 12:03 AM Subscribe
Is this long distance relationship fair to her?
posted by coreb to human relations (29 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
** Sorry for all of the backstory, but I feel it's necessary to understand the situation. **
I've been dating this great girl for the past 6 months. We are both 22, and started dating back in early April during college. Come mid May, I graduated from the college that she and I go to. We both knew this when we got into the relationship, but I don't think that both of us fully understood what that meant.
I was on an out of state internship, then started graduate school 200 miles away. So for the past 5 months, we've been in a long distance relationship.
Over the summer, she had some trouble with her "girly parts" and was prescribed birth control pills. It's caused her a slight weight gain (causing her to feel self conscience), and made her more emotional than normal.
The friends she hangs around with all have boyfriends, and are always around them. She pretends like it doesn't affect her, but it does. She lets it show through during some of her more emotional times.
This is the first serious relationship she's been in. I don't think she realized how hard this would be on her/us. I love her dearly, and I want her to be happy. I can accept it if that means she doesn't need to be with me. I do ask her if she's still happy, and she says yes, but I don't think she has the confidence to say otherwise, if it were the case.
I've read alot of the other similar posts on LDRs on AskMeFi, but I felt this unique enough to ask a seperate question. We do not, currently have a "way-out" or date upon which the long distance will end, and I no that's the big "no-no" of LDRs.
Am I being unfair by keeping her in this relationship? I'm not forcing her to stay with me, but she doesn't know anything else. This is college, and I'm worried about holding her back from other experiences with a 200 mile leash on her.
I've seen how quickly the "dump her" option is given as the solution in a thread like this, so please provide a little more explantion on why, if that is your answer. (I apologize if that's an outlandish request to you.)