Look, it's just a dead bug. What's all the screaming about?

September 18, 2006 5:50 AM

So, I was recently told that I would be joining the Girl Scouts. Here's the thing... I'm a 35 year old male. Help me be a great Girl Scouts dad!

My wife is helping someone start up a troop and our three girls will be a part of it. Naturally, I'll be doing all the work. What can I expect? I really have no idea what Girl Scouts even do, other than deliver delicious cookies that I guess float down from heaven on angel's wings once a year.

posted by BruceL to society & culture (16 comments total)

Girl Scouts and Brownies do exactly the same thing Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts do; we just do it in a dress. (Ba da dum.)

Seriously though- with the exception of some emphasis home arts (quilting, cooking, baking, family living, etc., etc.,) we really did do the same things Boy and Cub Scouts did in my troop- the point is to learn, grow, and experience good teamwork. Camping, firemaking, astronomy, bughunting, birdwatching... here, take a look at the badges a Girl Scout can earn- it'll give you thousands of ideas of what you'll be doing with a GS troop, but dude- branch out. Be proactive.

One of my favorite troop meetings (and keep in mind, this was the 70s,) was when our troop leader's husband taught us how to do basic engine maintenance. We learned to change out spark plugs and plug wires, how to use Coca Cola to clean corroded battery leads, how to jump start a car, how to check oil and other fluids, how to change them; how to change various filters. Of course, every car is different, but just learning how in general made me willing to pick up the maintenance book for every car I've owned, so guess who does the engine maintenance at my house?

So, I guess my opening statement was true: Girl Scouts and Brownies do exactly the same thing Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts do; we just do it in a dress.
posted by headspace at 6:19 AM on September 18, 2006

This is rather more generic as an example, but I'd like to suggest that you learn to curb your inclination to make sexist jokes before you start leading a group that's supposed to empower girls. I imagine you're not actually as sexist as this post makes you appear and that you think you're just being funny. But Girl Scouts are young and may not get that.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:43 AM on September 18, 2006

Great point, jacquilynne, I'm actually aghast to see just how sexist my post is despite the original intent to be jokey. Dumb and embarrassing and, well, a good lesson for a future Girl Scouts dad. Thanks.
posted by BruceL at 7:02 AM on September 18, 2006

After attending a few Girl Scout events with the LittleMissMoonPie, I’ve become convinced that most (most) adults involved with scouting are control freaks who can’t relate to other adults. The same may very well be true with Boy Scouts, of course, but I’ve not had adult experience with them. My daughter very much enjoys her participation in Girl Scouts, both the regular meetings and the various outings and camping trips, but my interactions with the other adults have been mostly negative.

And there’s a strong, strong sexist vein going on—nearly everything I’ve seen has been directed to moms, explicitly. I’m a divorced dad, and, lemme tell you, it really grates on me when all the literature, all the take-home forms, all the speeches at the various gatherings I’ve attended are addressed solely to moms.

Make your troop different! Let the world know that dads can be just as involved in their daughters’ lives as moms can be.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:03 AM on September 18, 2006

Just to clarify, Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts are not linked, and Girl Scouts have some different principles (not forbidding membership to gay people or atheists is probably the most notable difference). They are similar in that they're both intended to educate kids in many different areas, so of course there's a lot of overlap in what kids learn.

Girl Scouts do it all, as headspace explained. Recently (up until the introduction of Studio 2B, anyway) they've really tried to avoid stereotyping the girls and lessons, so it's not a good idea to start off with the attitude displayed in your title. And IIRC, a lot of the uniforms have been modified so skorts or even pants are acceptable besides the traditional skirts.

What you'll need to do depends a lot on the age of the girls. For example, if your girls are Daisies, you basically just need to do some projects from the book and maybe organize some trips to local museums, but obviously it gets more complex as they get older. No matter the age level, you will get lots of recommendations from their badge book, and leaders of other troops in the council (if it's active) will probably help out by informing you about local traditions, good destinations and camps, and so on.

Cookie-selling may be most visible to outsiders, but it's not the focus of a Girl Scout's year. Depending on how your troop does it, you may need to take your girls selling door-to-door, or you may just need to sit outside a supermarket with them. Delivery is probably a bigger pain, because troop leaders' living rooms are filled with the cookies -- and every Girl Scout has trouble with people who ordered but now don't want to pay (you need to eat this cost, but you also get to eat the cookies). Daisies don't get involved with selling cookies. At every level, earning badges is given more weight throughout the year than selling cookies. Probably the biggest event of a Girl Scout's year is summer camp, if there is one in your area.

Also, from my time as a Girl Scout, the father-daughter dances stand out (I thought the idea was a bit creepy, but most girls seemed to like it). It seemed like we had a couple every year, at every level, so you may want to shine up your dancing shoes.
posted by booksandlibretti at 7:04 AM on September 18, 2006

What age are the girls? That's a big part of what you might end up doing. It's been a while since I was in the Scouts, but here's what I remember of it:

* Younger scouts: Arts and crafts projects, trips to children-friendly museums and zoos, learning and performing skits and short plays for our parents, going on walks out in the woods, earning merit badges

* Older scouts: Field trips to historical and cultural sites, organized volunteering, helping out with younger Scout troops, camping and more intense hiking, going abroad to visit Scout sites overseas, earning higher-level badges like the Silver Award and Gold Award

The best times were when the troop leaders arranged for us to do activity workshops. These days, that might involve a local web guru teaching your girls how to build a simple website, a zine creator showing them how to make their own little booklets of writing and art, civic leaders having them help out at voting booths, and more.

Most importantly, don't underestimate what they can do! My Scout troop performed Shakespeare's A Comedy of Errors for our parents on the stage of the local elementary school, wearing old stage costumes and holding the scripts in our hands on-stage. It went fantastically, and we kids were involved in all the decision making and preparation. We were all nine years old when we did this! Don't be afraid to challenge them - kids love to rise to a challenge and to do what sound like "grown up" activities. Give them opportunities to decide things and to take on responsibility, and they will live up to it.
posted by cadge at 7:13 AM on September 18, 2006

I'll second pretty much everything that's said above. The best thing about being a Girl Scout is being encouraged to try everything and not being forced into "girly" stereotypes. I will say that my favorite activity as a Brownie was the annual father-daughter campout. Many little girls get to spend very little time just hanging out with their dads. Which is all to say, tone down the sexist language, but I'm glad you're getting into scouts.

Some of my favorite activities from a childhood spent in scouting:
Younger
Scavenger hunts
Learning to cook "adult" meals
Making really cool crafts, then setting up a booth at the farmer's market and selling them ourselves
Camping
Canoeing
Horseback-riding
Earning the bicycling badge, which included learning bike maintenance and going on long road and trail rides

Older
Sailing
Backpacking
Having successful women talk to us about their careers
Service trips to other parts of the country
Car-maintenance (As someone else said)
posted by hydropsyche at 8:27 AM on September 18, 2006

I was in the girl scout organization for many years and my mom was my troop leader; my dad was my sister's troop leader for a while.

One thing I noticed was that troops with dads involved got more "masculine" things to do (camping, cookouts, sports, tying knots, car maintenance, etc.) and my troop only did crafts, singing, and other "girly" stuff (making clothes, baking, going to cultural history museums).

This may or may not be an issue for you, but I really felt like I missed out on a lot of great knowledge and experiences because my troop was so focused on traditionally feminine skills. Our (female) leaders didn't know how to canoe or tie knots or rustic camp on their own, so they never taught us. This is something to think about in terms of what activities you can explain/lead as the year is planned.

Also, your daughters may not want you/your wife to be troop leaders for very long (more than 2-3 years). Scouts was one of my few social outlets as a kid and having my mom/dad there every time really made it hard to screw around and be a kid; I had to be on my best behavior all the time. So maybe try to plan some scout activities where other parents or leaders supervise and you & wife stay home.
posted by holyrood at 9:37 AM on September 18, 2006 [2 favorites]

I think it will depend in part on the type of area you live in. I grew up in suburbia and we did the crafts/wimpy cabin "camping"/campfire singalongs/fieldtrips about town sort of things. But on the other hand, a friend's mother from rural Ohio once told me in disbelief about how unqualified the new regional Girl Scout official of some sort was: it had come out recently that she didn't know the difference between straw and hay! She was astonished that such an eminently unqualified person had been appointed for the job.
posted by leapingsheep at 11:07 AM on September 18, 2006

Stupid question, but you've been here, right?

Agreed about the girly-girly crap: pointless. Part of the fun of GS is being away from boys, and so not having to "gender" any activity. Just do fun, education, practical stuff that gets passed over in school. Also, sometimes if you have scouts from different schools, they will take a while in getting to know each other and form school-based cliques: try to mix them up. And also if you can avoid the pimping cookies thing, great. It's a big disservice to focus young minds on rampant capitalism at such a tender age, esp. as many school activities also require it (selling oranges for band outfits, eg.)

Finally, do your daughters WANT to be in GS?
posted by DenOfSizer at 12:22 PM on September 18, 2006

And a little discussion about the nutritional analysis of GS cookies [pdf] may be in order, too.
posted by DenOfSizer at 12:27 PM on September 18, 2006

As others have said, please don't make yours a pretty-pretty-princess troop. When I think of all the fun stuff my brother's Boy Scout troop got to do, and all the stupid macrame and friendship bracelets I had to make in the meantime, I still feel kind of bitter. Some crafts and home-ec are OK, but they shouldn't be the exclusive focus of the troop.

One thing that was really cool, and made up for a lot of the girly stuff we had to do: Girl Scout camp. Check up on the specific camps in your area, though, because some may be too religious/irreligious/girly/manly/dirty/clean/whatever for your tastes. Be sure to sit in on a couple of meals, talk to some campers, and check out the tents or cabins before you decide.
posted by vorfeed at 2:27 PM on September 18, 2006

My lil darling brownie sold over 500 boxes of cookies thanks to her dad. I want that badge BAD!
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 2:35 PM on September 18, 2006

Things I did in GS camp for the first time: 1. built a fire 2. rode a horse 3. got really high. 4. practiced kissing. It was southern Cally in the 70s, though.
posted by DenOfSizer at 3:42 PM on September 18, 2006

I was in Girl Scouts for, like, 8 years. Every year was different. Most years were horribly boring (in my opinion).

Please for the love of god, minimize the centralized Girl Scouts of America BS. Like the bridge crossing ceremony and the flag thing and the vests and sashes and the Girl Scout pledge and the distinctions between Brownies/Daisies/Juniors. I swear, certain mothers seemed to think that bureaucratic stuff was the essential task of running a Girl Scout troop, as though it meant something to us girls, and it consumed their entire amount of troop-running energy. Then we barely did anything cool. "Being a Girl Scout" was not meaningful even for someone who did it practically until high school. As much as possible, ditch those books about badges and whatnot and just focus what energy you have on taking them outside or to interesting places.

So, yeah, please take them places. We spent so many meetings in the dusty annex or the library of our school, like, doing the flag ceremony, singing a couple songs, and that was it.

On the other hand, Girl Scout camp was awesome. I'd definitely help the girls sell enough cookies that they get to go to camp. We rode horses, lived in a cabin with a bunch of girls, took hikes, it was great!

When I was a counselor (at a Girl Scout camp, actually), the things the girls liked best were bonfires, crafts, star gazing (learn maybe 3 constellations, have them make up stories about the constellations), and creek walking (go to some creek wearing ratty old shoes, let them wade around, take some pots and pans for them to catch things in). The more I tried to make activities educational, the lamer they thought it was, so it was a lot more fun once I quit trying and just took them down to the creek. :) So yeah, go places.
posted by salvia at 7:49 PM on September 18, 2006 [1 favorite]

My (divorced) dad was very into girl scouting -- he was basically the reason my sister and I did it. He helped on every merit badge that needed adult help or encouragement, went on camp-outs, and taught the troop cool things like fire building or cider making. It was a lot of fun to do merit badges together -- many of them can be group activities.

The only thing I didn't like was selling cookies. As an intensely shy kid, cookie time was horrific. So be gentle on that if your girls aren't outgoing.
posted by Margalo Epps at 10:55 AM on September 21, 2006