I met someone with friends last week and we really hit it off. I even asked her if she would like to go out with me and see me again, and she quickly said yes. But I never got her contact information and it's been a little bit slow getting it through my friends. Should I use the contact information I can get off the internet (almost definitely her, but work contact information) to call her? Only if, after a week, my friends don't come through with the info? Never?
posted by jcwagner to Human Relations (59 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
The full story, kind of long:
I met a girl last weekend, and we really hit it off. We were in a big group of mutual friends (although she was only really friends with one of the people, and that person she was friends with only had one connection to the rest of the group), at a festival, drinking and then going to dinner. I talked to this girl on and off for several hours, and I really think that we are really compatible, that we've got a lot in common and that there was a lot of mutual flirting going on. Through the course of the evening, we talked a lot to each other about ourselves, and I learned enough so that, with some rather extensive Googling and looking at various sites, I was able to almost definitely figure out her last name and work contact information, which is probably current. Her last name is relatively unique, so Google also tells me her home address and home phone number (although both could be old).
But, at the end of the night, even though we had talked earlier about going out alone together, there wasn't a good chance to get her info. So I didn't. I was also a little bit drunk so didn't really realize that I hadn't gotten her number. And my attempts to talk to my friend about it so far have been unfruitful, and he's the only one who knows my crush's friend. He might be a little pissy because he was drunk and being kind of an ass and a lot of people (she and I included) told him to chill out. Anyway, that was three days ago, and I called him and then e-mailed him the next day.
I think that there is no question that this woman is interested in me - we're both around the same age, have a lot in common, got along famously, and a few times she grabbed my arm, touched my foot, things like that. During a discussion of "who's on your list/who would you go gay for (since neither one of us is)" we had a lot of people in common in a very "ooh, we are attracted to the same kind of people and we're going to flirt with each other to talk about it" way. Also, all of my friends were telling me that it was obvious we were both really into each other.
I normally wouldn't use Google for something like this, but I really wanted to see if I could find contact information for her, and, a half hour later, I did. It was actually pretty difficult and bit much to have spent as much time as I did. I normally would think it's completely creepy to actually call her based on that information, and it would probably have to be her work number, and I would need to feel it out to make sure that it's the right person. I think that it would be very awkward and a bit of an invasion of privacy. But we did really hit it off, talk about seeing each other again and I would just be calling her - I would never consider tracking her down in person or calling her at her home number.
I am probably a little bit infatuated with her, or at least the idea of her - she really was attractive and what I am looking for in a lot of ways. But I am thinking this through and realizing that it was very mutual and that I was an ass not to make sure I got her number, although I didn't think that it would turn out to be this hard to get it through my friend.
So, what should I do? My current plan is to wait a few more days to get the info from my friend before I decide what to so, but I am leaning towards calling her at work on Friday or so if I don't have her info more legitimately by then. Am I overthinking this?