Comments on: How do you deal with messy sex?

Question: How do you deal with messy sex?

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:04:16 -0800

How do you deal with the messy side of sex?

In my limited experience, sex is pretty drippy, as in both me and my post-coital partner's ejaculation. It's lovely fun but not conducive to keeping sheets, mattresses, pillows, carpets, various of other items between me and the bathroom, clean. Is it just me or is running off to the toilet with a handful of Kleenex stuffed between your legs the only solution?

By: c:\awesome

c:\awesome — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:14:13 -0800

That's how we do it.

1. Sex
2. Breather
3. Quick jog to the bathroom for her, continued breather for me
4. Leisurely drippy stroll to bathroom for me
5. Yelled at by her for dripping on clothes
6. Rinse, and repeat 2 months later

Move your bed closer to the bathroom and keep a clean towel handy.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:14:48 -0800

Sex towels. And make sure they're a different color than your regular towels.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:21:35 -0800

I've always called the sex towel the zamboni. You know, one of those smallish hand towel type things. Keep it someplace unobtrusive [unless you're one of those giant box of condoms on the nightstand people - then again if you used condoms there would be much less drip, nb] and a quick wipe down is usually enough for some quality post-coital snuggling afterwards without things getting too messy. Leave it under your butt if you're really worried about it, or practice whatever that ninja-pussy move is where you can sort of squeeze it all out in one fell swoop, again onto your sex towel.

Alternately keep some panties nearby to put on just for the bathroom sprint portion of the evening's activities. It beats kleenex.

By: i_am_joe's_spleen

i_am_joe's_spleen — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:26:07 -0800

Good lord, have you never heard of fucktowels?

By: adipocere

adipocere — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:26:26 -0800

Well, it's not too hard to buy a very large amount of terrycloth, double it, and put a nice hem on it, then some cross-stitching for an overall sex-quilt that you can use as a throwdown.

Then, lots of thick beach towels and a bedside hamper especially for them. Little hand towels and some water for the final mop-up.

By: ottereroticist

ottereroticist — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:29:35 -0800

I've always called the sex towel the zamboni. You know, one of those smallish hand towel type things.

Great name! Also known as a trick towel. I like them in white, so you can bleach the holy hell out of them.

Another good item for fluid control is a yard or so of that fabric-backed waterproof fabric they make tablecloths out of. Throw it down under a towel, and save anyone from having to sleep in the wet spot. We call them sex tarps.

By: Ostara

Ostara — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:34:53 -0800

Why sex towels, of course.

By: c:\awesome

c:\awesome — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:42:56 -0800

These sex towels, they aren't supposed to be used as regular towels?

By: Slenny

Slenny — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:47:56 -0800

Do a walking handstand all the way to the bathroom.

No, seriously, it looks like the towels have it. Thats normal. Although I have dated some women that can just hold it in effortlessly until the they wish to discharge it. Perhaps this can be learned??

By: christinetheslp

christinetheslp — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:51:01 -0800

I also have sex towels. I got bright pink ones on sale and keep them in my nightstand. That way I can keep them seperate from my normal towels.

c:\awesome, I don't use them as regular towels mostly out of consideration for my guests. Because they're all hand towels they're the type of thing that I'd hang out for people to use after washing their hands in the bathroom. I know that I'd prefer not to use a towel that my friends' husbands had mopped up with, and I assume my guests feel the same way.

By: MeetMegan

MeetMegan — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:52:46 -0800

Elexa makes freshening towels. I can't speak to their effectiveness, but on principle they sound good.

By: Iron Rat

Iron Rat — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 19:28:03 -0800

part of my early education was the sex towel, no more sleeping in the wetspot.

By: Wet Spot

Wet Spot — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 19:29:39 -0800

Amen to that!

By: mediareport

mediareport — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 19:44:35 -0800

How do you deal with the messy side of sex?

Laugh about it.

And towels.

By: null terminated

null terminated — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 19:44:53 -0800

I leave and sleep in my own bed. Alone.

By: librarina

librarina — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 20:09:44 -0800

on principle they sound good

Except the part where you're not supposed to mess with the flora/fauna(?) of your girlybits, on pain of infection.

If you're not prone, go for it. But I would never use or recommend anything down there but water, and have even nixed any lubes w/sugar (glycerin) in 'em. It's helped.

And I do the mad bathroom dash, sometimes assisted by the towel. And giggling.

By: kidsleepy

kidsleepy — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 20:21:35 -0800

two words: baby wipes.

i joined mefi just to answer this question.

By: anadem

anadem — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 20:36:15 -0800

I'd prefer to post this anon but imo the handiest thing for us both is my t-shirt.

By: i_am_joe's_spleen

i_am_joe's_spleen — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 20:40:44 -0800

"baby wipes"

I am not getting parabens on my mucous membranes, thank you.

By: SpecialK

SpecialK — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 20:48:44 -0800

What joe's spleen said.

We throw a big bath towel down on the bed so there's less of a wet spot, and then the towels go straight in the laundry hamper from there.

I have different guest towels anyway, so we just grab whatever's hanging in the bathroom, run giggling to the bedroom, do the deed, and the towels go in the hamper. Then new towels get brought out for the post-coital shower.

Oh, and we linger a *LONG* time, so everything has generally leaked out by then.

By: docpops

docpops — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 20:50:21 -0800

Why a separate towel? There's nothing in there any less hygienic than what's in your boxers after a long day working in the trenches. And does that also imply that you have to go out of your way for a specific implement to clean after a 'solo'?

By: jak68

jak68 — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 21:08:51 -0800

quite honestly my g/f and i just slept on the mess, took the wetness as an indivisible part of the night's sex-event. Maybe a kleenex or pick up my tshirt from the side of the bed and use that. Its all going in the wash anyway; whats a little more starch? ;) No colors when we have sex, I never have sex during her period.
Maybe some people just embrace the mess. I never heard of sex towels in my life; and frankly i dont know if I like that idea. Seems like it ruins the sponteneity somehow. "Lets make the bed before we passionately lunge at each other, honey."

By: i_am_joe's_spleen

i_am_joe's_spleen — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 21:09:03 -0800

Why a separate towel?

Can't say I'm bothered but some people are simply squicked by the idea. Cooties or something.

By: coriolisdave

coriolisdave — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 21:12:14 -0800

Tissues. And a quick ablute, to wash out the tubes (for both of us).

By: muddgirl

muddgirl — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 21:14:07 -0800

There's a "stain guard" between the sheet and the mattress - for general sweat/spit stains, but it's pretty handy for other "emissions" as well. I n'th the sex towel, but it's hardly premeditated - it just happens to reside near the head of the bed, waiting to be called into service, only to be washed and perhaps, if it's lucky, reused.

I personally prefer those super-absorbent bar towels, because they're soft and not overly large.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 21:40:51 -0800

Mattress stains are good, they prove that you are alive. Sleeping in a wet spot is good. "Wow, it's all wet under me because I just got some. How excellent."

By: Jade Dragon

Jade Dragon — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 22:21:03 -0800

I would highly recommend a combo system of "sex towels" and unscented baby wipes.

I purchase white hand towels from the local dollar store and they are used solely for that purpose, so they are not confused with the regular towels and usually washed separately (and bleached if necessary). One or two of these towels can also be placed underneath you if you think things get particularly "leaky"...

We usually use Huggies brand unscented baby wipes because they feel more like cloth and are more absorbent and generally feel nicer for those particularly, ummm, messy interludes. (They are also amazing for taking off heavy glam or theatrical makeup very easily.)

If you have a problem (physical or ethical) with commercial wipes, then make your own with paper towels, folded, dampened with water and then stored in a plastic zipper bag.

These and other "sex supplies" are kept in an easily reached drawer in one of the bedside tables; so as to not ruin any of the spontenaiety.

If you are feeling particularly romantic and are setting up a nice evening's interlude, then another suggestion requires a bit more forethought but can be particularly luxurious, especially in winter. Wet several of the sex towels with water, and wring out until they are slightly more than damp. Heat in the microwave until they are just steaming. Pack in tupperware-type container and wrap in several layers of thick towels to act as insulation - they can often stay warm for up to two hours this way. Keep near the bedside.

After the dirty deed is done, just reach over and open up your steaming sex towels for a particulary refreshing and luxurious clean up that no Maitre D' or Concierge could beat!

For extra points, have a thermos of an appropriate post-coital beverage to share and enjoy (cold orange juice or ice tea is one of our favourites). Although it might take a bit of effort and is not entirely spontaneous, it will undoubtedly score you some major bonus points with your love partner!

Good luck and let us know if any of these tips prove successful !

~ Jade Dragon

By: savagecorp

savagecorp — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 22:34:54 -0800

If sex was clean - would it be as fun?

I prefer tissues, since I can dispose of them quite easily, and the fact that I don't want have to worry about drying my face with the 'Trick Towel' by mistake. yuck.

By: rob511

rob511 — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 22:37:26 -0800

... sex-quilt that you can use as [sic] a throwdown
adipocere, you meant "during," right?

By: PsychoKitty

PsychoKitty — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 22:43:56 -0800

Keep a roll of TP by the bedside. You can use as much :) or as little :( as you need. Hopefully more...much more!

(Tip: Just find a brand that's not too "fuzzy" or has too many layers. Yuck!)

By: essexjan

essexjan — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 00:13:59 -0800

My only worry is if the batteries leak.

/envious.

By: i_am_joe's_spleen

i_am_joe's_spleen — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 00:51:35 -0800

"Love towels". I have seen 1 at the gym...

By: i_am_joe's_spleen

i_am_joe's_spleen — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 00:52:09 -0800

Damnit.

By: miss tea

miss tea — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 05:23:47 -0800

We each keep a handkerchief by the bed. Smaller than a towel but nice and absorbent.

By: saffron

saffron — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 05:49:24 -0800

Waterproof sex blankets! The Facinator Throe is designed just for this. It doesn't scratch the bottom partner's back/ass the way towels can leave you a bit raw. We have it in tan, and it's not all that ugly.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 06:03:19 -0800

Of course, there's always the Tenacious D Cum Rag. (Everything else is just a cum rag.)

By: Mick

Mick — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 08:20:52 -0800

My friend use to have a jiz-rag under his passanger seat. (I only know this because a third friend used it to wipe sweat of his face after a round of golf - disgust & hilarity ensued)

By: Neiltupper

Neiltupper — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 10:57:18 -0800

Why a separate towel?

I agree - Life's complicated enough. I'd have to remember three towel groups: sex towels, regular towels and "good" towels.

By: drstein

drstein — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 11:05:43 -0800

How do we deal with messy sex? We thrive on it. Usually we'll just lay together happily and then fall asleep.

Oh, and sheets are cheap. Buy a few extra sets and change them often. Other than that, towels work just fine.

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 13:41:03 -0800

Tissues.

By: Manjusri

Manjusri — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 15:08:01 -0800

Nothing beats baby wipes for convenience. I get the Kirkland brand from Costco which are labelled as unscented, hypoallergenic and alcohol-free. This is the first I've heard of parabens, but I don't see anything including parabens in the ingredients. Neither I, nor any partners have never experienced discomfort from their use. We pretty much consider them mandatory for backpacking trips.