Drunken Finnish Rant

August 31, 2006 11:16 PM

I am in receipt of a brief paragraph of text in Finnish (~35 words, posted inside) that I need to translate to English. I've tried using various online translator tools, but I suspect it might be too laden with OFFENSIVE DRUNKEN PROFANITY (just a contextual hunch) for them to make heads or tails of it. Can anyone recommend a translator that might handle it, or (better yet) are any Finnish speakers lurking who might be so kind as to interpret?

THE RANT IN QUESTION:

Vittu kokoo ny ittes!!! Jätä muu maailma rauhaan!
Vittu jos etsit kemiallisia aseita - etsi Jenkeistä.
Jos etsit ydinaseita - etsi Israelista.
Kerää ny ittes!
*Keskity ennemmin siihen miten sun tyttäres hölmöilee baareissa!!! Haloo!
(=ruosalainen pornolehti!)

posted by MaxVonCretin to writing & language (8 comments total)

It starts off well.
posted by tellurian at 12:29 AM on September 1, 2006

It could be because I've been drinking, but I'm curious as to what this actually says, and what do you have to do to be the recipient of such a paragraph?
posted by -t at 1:47 AM on September 1, 2006

Yes, the first word is a bad word. About the only other words I can make out are "world" (maailma), "from Israel" (Israelista), and "Swedish porno mag [?]" (ruotsalainen pornolehti). And sun might be "you" or "yours." Baareissa might mean "in bars," but I'm not sure.

It certainly doesn't seem very nice.
posted by oaf at 2:47 AM on September 1, 2006

siihen miten sun tyttäres

They may also be calling you effeminate or something. If I'm even somewhat right, I'd be amazed, but those look like they might be genitive forms of siis, mitta, and sinä.
posted by oaf at 2:57 AM on September 1, 2006

Somewhat tidier than the original because I'm neither drunk nor angry:

Fuck, get yourself together!!! Leave the rerst of the world alone!
Fuck, if you're looking for chemical weapons - look in the US.
If you're looking for nuclear weapons - look in Israel.
Get yourself together!
*You should focus on how your daughter is making a fool of herself in bars!!! Hello!
(=Swedish porno mag)
posted by hannala at 3:08 AM on September 1, 2006

Well, at least I got "Swedish porno mag."
posted by oaf at 3:23 AM on September 1, 2006

Oh and there are no working online tools to translate finnish, profanity-laden or not.
posted by insomnus at 6:13 AM on September 1, 2006

Thank you hannala! That makes complete sense.

And thanky everyone else for picking at it!
posted by MaxVonCretin at 7:17 AM on September 1, 2006