How normal is it to bribe managers?
August 7, 2006 9:39 AM   Subscribe

How sleazy is it, really, for a restaurant manager to accept bribes?

My father, brother, and I went out last Friday to our standard "nice dinner celebratory restaurant" for both my and my father's birthdays. We had enormous problems with the manager, which started when we he led us to a really undesirable table in the middle of the restaurant's main corridor and then claimed that none of the other empty tables was available when we asked. He did eventually move us, and the tables that he claimed were unavailable stayed empty for the entire three hours we were at the restaurant. But he continued to be an asshole to us over various issues for the next part of the meal (the waiter, who was excellent, managed to salvage the evening).

As we were leaving, I saw another couple slip the manager a bribe to thank him for getting them a table. In a restaurant that was, really, 75% empty the entire evening.

I want to write a letter to the restaurant complaining about the manager, but I'm unsure whether to mention that I saw the other couple bribing him. I feel our lack of bribe was what caused his behavior, but I'm wondering if bribing is so common that the restaurant owners will just write off my complaint if I mention it?

I mean, this isn't a hopping Manhattan club where there's a two-hour wait for tables, where I could see bribing the maitre d' as fairly normal. This is a sleepy college-town restaurant with $30 entrees that was 75% empty on a Friday night and which caters mainly to retired professors. To me, it feels like the manager is an extortionist who should be fired immediately, but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.
posted by occhiblu to Food & Drink (25 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
You're not overreacting. But it's a tip, not a bribe (semantic difference). I would definitely find out the name of the owner and let him/her know: the manager can ruin the restaurant's reputation, and a restaurant of the sort you describe depends heavily on regular customers. If they abandon it....
posted by LeisureGuy at 9:41 AM on August 7, 2006


Mention it. Worst case scenario: you vent your anger while the restaurant ignores you and the manager continues his shady dealings. Best case scenario: you vent your anger and the manager gets a heavy piece of karma thrown at his head.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 9:51 AM on August 7, 2006


"But he continued to be an asshole to us over various issues for the next part of the meal"

Please tell us more.
posted by orthogonality at 10:00 AM on August 7, 2006


I see the problem as the unethical action of bribing, not accepting. Essentially, the bribers have raised the level of cost at that restuarant without bothering to tell you. The same way poor tippers get tagged as such and then receive poor service from that day on. I think its much, much more unethical to offer bribes than to take one. Its a bit like entrapment.

To me, it feels like the manager is an extortionist who should be fired immediately, but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

How is tipping that much different? The culture of restuarants is a funny thing. Either you accept their crazy rules or find somewhere else to go.
posted by the ghost of Ken Lay at 10:11 AM on August 7, 2006


Write a letter to the owner. I'm sure the owner would like to know if one of his or her employees is hurting business.
posted by malp at 10:13 AM on August 7, 2006


What you saw the manager receiving was a TIP.

The difference between a bribe and a tip is when the payment occurs.

If you hand him the cash BEFORE the service is provided, it's a bribe.

After, a tip.

Oh, and I would write the letter if it makes you feel better. It probably won't do anything, but it never hurts to try.
posted by petethered at 10:25 AM on August 7, 2006


While I agree with Ghost that the bribers have raised the cost of the restaurant, the added cost is going to the manager not the owners. When did the manager become a partner at the restaurant? (presumably he's not.) The added cost should go to the owners. The manager who accepted the bribe is acting as an equity partner getting his share up front without the risk of the business. That is wrong. The bnribers did not do anything wriong. They offered money for a service that was obviously being provided by the accpetance of the manager.

I would definetly mention it in a letter to the owner's. Finding them might be hard. How do you know the manager won't intercpet the letter if you address it to the restaurant?
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:29 AM on August 7, 2006


How is tipping that much different?

The manger isn't getting paid $2 an hour like the server, food runner and busboy are.
posted by bcwinters at 10:50 AM on August 7, 2006


You say this is your standard celebratory place, so you should be able to compare this past visit with previous visits. Is the manager new? Have you ever seen people give the manager money before? Do they know you there? Do they have reason to like or not like you based on your past interactions?

Everyone deserves to get world-class service, but if you don't find you're getting the service you deserve, you've got one remedy: don't go back. Maybe it was a fluke you didn't get what you expected this time?

Of course, provided you have rock-solid evidence the dude's shaking down patrons for extra money, and provided you don't have anything better to do with your time, by all means bust the dude's ass. The way to do that is to ask the owner if he's aware of what the guy is doing, but it doesn't sound like you've got anything to go on to me.
posted by Mr. Gunn at 10:50 AM on August 7, 2006


Call the owner. Seriously.
Don't threaten to not go back (they've got no reason to appease you if you sound serious). But do be frank that the manager's behavior made you not want to eat there again, and that it's bullshit. People in restaurants do get fired over stuff like this, and rightly so.
posted by klangklangston at 10:57 AM on August 7, 2006


Response by poster: To clarify: We've never had a problem at this restaurant before, and in fact have always been delighted with the professionalism, knowledge, and attitude of the servers and sommelier. I have never seen this manager before, nor seen anyone handing over money at the host stand.

And even without the tip/bribe thing, the manager's behavior was unacceptable. He was rude, obstructionist, and obviously on a power trip. (He got into a literal staring contest with my father, after accusing him of lying about whether we had called ahead to see if the bottle of wine we wanted to bring violated the place's corkage policy. This is not appropriate behavior from a manager at a place that often gets mentioned as the city's best Italian restaurant by national publications.)

I'm just trying to determine whether attributing that behavior to his trying to shake us down for money is appropriate when I write a letter to the owners complaining about his other actions.
posted by occhiblu at 11:03 AM on August 7, 2006


Having worked at a restaurant, I will chime in that if it's not a busy night, some sections will be closed because there aren't enough servers to cover them. Then again, usually the first tables they close are the crappy middle ones. And if a restaurant is properly designed, there shouldn't be any middle tables in the first place!

What an a-hole.
posted by radioamy at 11:05 AM on August 7, 2006


Best answer: The fuzzy dividing line between tip and bribe here is whether the manager was behaving as he was to extort a tip/bribe. Concluding that he was is at least a defensible position.

Write the owner and mention the tip/bribe. Call it whatever you want—you could just call it "money" and let him work it out.
posted by adamrice at 11:27 AM on August 7, 2006


I've never known a restaurant manager to accept tips at all. But then again I only personally know a couple very ethical managers who work for chefs that would be OUTRAGED if they learned of it.
posted by FlamingBore at 11:56 AM on August 7, 2006


Best answer: Just to clarify, did the other couple give the bribe/tip to the manager before they were seated, just after being seated, or at the end of the meal? If it was any time other than before they were seated I think it's unfair to assume that the manager gave them preferential seating because of the money. It also sounds unclear about whether the manager was "shaking people down" or if the couple in question was just feeling generous at the time.

To answer your real question, I would just focus on the poor service you recieved and not distract from your argument by speculating about his motives. Bribes or not, you were treated poorly and that is what the owners should care about most. If you get too caught up in the bribery speculation (and face it, it is total speculation unless he literally asked you for money) you are liable to sound like a conspiracy theorist. If you truly feel you must point it out, then mention it almost as an afterthought, and leave them to figure out the implications. Something like: "As an aside, I noticed another couple giving the manager some money after they were seated. Perhaps this is what it takes to recieve good service?"
posted by rorycberger at 12:07 PM on August 7, 2006 [1 favorite]


but I'm wondering if bribing is so common that the restaurant owners will just write off my complaint if I mention it?

I wouldn't say bribing is terribly common in general, but it seems to be extremely common at this place. So while your complaint might make you feel better now, it's likely to just fall on deaf ears. If you really want to make a difference, don't go back and make a point of it to mention this place every time the topic of restaurants and restaurant advice comes up. In the long run, your word-of-mouth will have more of an effect than an angry letter.

We used to frame angry letters at some places where I've worked in the past. Frame them, and point and laugh at the silly customers. But we could only do that because we were making money hand over fist. Didn't happen at the places where every customer counted.
posted by frogan at 12:19 PM on August 7, 2006


Writing to the owner isn't a bad idea. The reason why you don't want your maitre d' taking unusual payoffs is that he is supposed to extend special accomodations in a manner which serves the restaurant's business needs.

Table for a couple who'll order a $600 bottle of wine? Check. Special table for a party who can spread good word of mouth about the place? Check. Table for a celebrity or party of particularly good looking women who'll make the place seem hot. You better believe it. Extra treatment for a party because its host slips him a $50? Most uncheck.
posted by MattD at 1:33 PM on August 7, 2006


Are you sure it was a manager and not just a host?

The guy sounds like a jerk, but it could just be a misunderstanding. The different ways people interpret restaurant staff, patrons, and etiquette is incredibly varied and unpredictable. The art of asking for a better table, for instance, is a very delicate process that very few people get right but many, many attempt.

It does seem strange to tip a host in an empty restaurant, unless they did something special like store your crap in a back room during your meal or some such. I'd say write the letter if you want. You're a regular customer who had one bad experience. Explain what happened, and I agree to mention the money and just call it money. If you manage to express your disappointment and concern without sounding accusatory, then maybe they'll take it to heart. If they think you're a kook, oh well, we're all kooks to someone.
posted by lampoil at 2:08 PM on August 7, 2006


Response by poster: Yes, I'm sure it was the manager. When he made an issue about the bottle of wine, he was very clear that he was the one and only manager, and we couldn't possibly speak to anyone else at the restaurant because he had final and authoritative say on anything that happened. (Though he later came back and said he had talked to the owner and therefore reversed his position.) And his name appears on the restaurant website as the assistant manager.

And it's a tiny restaurant. There were maybe seven tables filled in the main room over the course of the evening, and another ten or twelve empty tables. Two waiters plus some busboys and the manager acting as maitre d'. It was pretty easy to keep track of everyone.

In any event, thanks all. I composed a letter that focused mainly on the rude service, and mentioned the "money" (thanks, adamrice!) only at the end. And I posted negative reviews of the place on a few websites, as well. I'm kind of interested to see what, if any, response I get.
posted by occhiblu at 2:32 PM on August 7, 2006


Please post an update if you get a response.
posted by rorycberger at 4:25 PM on August 7, 2006


Response by poster: Am I allowed to derail my own thread?

>The art of asking for a better table, for instance, is a very delicate process that very few people get right but many, many attempt.

lampoil, how do you mean? I'd be interested to know if I've been pissing off hosts over the years.
posted by occhiblu at 4:33 PM on August 7, 2006


When I'm seated at a horrible table in a mostly empty restaurant, I ask in a firm voice to be seated where there is less traffic.

The unfortunate thing is that in New York (and possibly other large cities) there are people who have created restaurant concierge services, which means calling the place in advance (and in some cases putting a deposit on a credit card) isn't enough. One has to fill out an application to these people, who decide whether or not the applicant is "good enough" for them. It's one thing for four star restaurants to set aside a few tables for guests at a luxury hotel, which is assumed to be part of the concierge service, but another for an individual to have to pay graft to someone who's decided that they don't have quite as many luxuries as they want.

The couple who have obviously saved up for a special dinner-- and who are treated horribly by the staff at the (now defunct) Box Tree in Ruth Reichel's Garlic and Sapphires (she treats them to dinner at the Rainbow Room, which she thought had much better service, if not the most perfect food) would not be able to even get in the door at a nice restaurant if this sort of crap continues.
posted by brujita at 10:33 PM on August 7, 2006


Well, it's complicated, and like I said, people do not relate in any sort of consistent way when it comes to restaurants. People expect different things, including mind-reading apparently, and some folks' favorite staff members have been utterly loathed by others while serving both in the exact same way. So that's my caveat.

Usually, IMO, just asking for a better table once politely is no big deal. But insisting, or acting like you're entitled to the table of your choice, is another story. Many times, especially in small restaurants (and yes, I am in New York, so it's especially, especially true here), what looks like an empty restaurant is not really an empty restaurant. In your case, it apparently was, or they got a lot of no-shows that night. But if a walk-in comes in at 6:30 and there are a lot of ressies from 6:45 to 7:30...you simply cannot make ressies wait. And if the ressies think ahead to ask for their favorite table when they make their ressie, you have to give it them, no matter how much the customer that shows up 30 minutes earlier wanted it. There is also, of course, the balancing of server sections, and countless other considerations that can be really thrown off by a customer insisting on a different table. A restaurant seating chart is like a puzzle, and oftentimes a host or manager has to plan it out in advance. Just having one person request a specific table, even in advance, can affect the whole chart for the whole evening. Having a customer insist on changing it at the last minutes is like getting halfway through a sudoku puzzle and realizing one of the first numbers you wrote in was wrong. (Apologies for the hideous metaphor). Also, what seems like a not-so-good table at first sometimes really isn't. The people who work there do try to make every table a good table.

On the other hand, part of a manager's job is to improvise and roll with the punches when unexpected things happen. Sometimes that means they absolutely cannot accomodate your choice. Most times it means they find a way to make you at least a little happier that doesn't involve screwing over other customers.

Based on the comment you left right after mine, here's what I think happened: He's an assistant manager, so he's pretty new to being left to run the place all by himself. The GM and the owner both happen to be off tonight, so he's on a bit of a power trip--he's probably micromanaging the staff even more than the customers. Also because he's new and maybe a bit nervous, he's a little TOO prepared for a busy night...a much busier night then he ended up getting. I think it's a pretty common rookie mistake for newish managers to be a little (or a lot) too by-the-book when it comes to dealing with customers. It takes a while to master the nuances...sure, we'll give Ms. Regular a little more than a standard pour, since she usually orders three or four glasses anyway, Celebrating Family can have the table they ask for since they asked nice and we'll reshuffle before the ressies get here, but Mr. Jerkface who waltzed in and sat at a reserved table without even asking, well, I'm sorry but there's nothing we can do for him. Your Assistant Manager man hasn't learned to try to please everyone first, THEN start enforcing the rules when that becomes impossible. Further evidence of this is that he spoke to the owner and changed his tune. The owner probably said something along the lines of "dude, lighten up, just give them a different table."

So I think it's definitely a good idea to write a polite letter. Letting his boss know that you were disappointed with the service will (one hopes) aid toward his learning to be a better manager. Or he'll just go back to school when the summer ends, whichever. :)
posted by lampoil at 8:10 AM on August 9, 2006


Response by poster: Update: I got a response from the owner a few days ago, apologizing and saying he would address the issues I rose with the entire staff. He also said I would get a separate reply from the assistant manager who treated us badly. Radio silence on that front.
posted by occhiblu at 6:44 PM on August 14, 2006


I wonder what the guy at waiterrant.net would have to say about this. perhaps you should ask him and let us know...
posted by krautland at 1:47 PM on September 27, 2006


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