First time runner.

August 5, 2006 8:11 AM

After 5 years of her refusing, I have finally convinced my wife to try playing a Pen and Paper RPG. But. She claims she has no imagination. Is this going to be a horrible experience, or is there hope? Have you ever gamed with someone who was willing to learn, but had to overcome the "getting into it" factor?

I have another married couple coming over today to play shadowrun, and my sister is going to play, so there will be two guys and three gals so she won't feel "out geeked", but everyone else has played RPGs before.
I guess we all had our first times, but I am hoping this will not be a horrible experience for her.
Any advice for me, as the GM to make it easier for her?
Any advice I can read to her to make her feel more at ease?

posted by JonnyRotten to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (22 answers total)

Nice options for easing in, it seems to me:

- A one-on-one prelude session for her character, where you GM her through some background stuff that would lead up to the point where the group session would begin. That lets you tailor everything to her as she gets used to it, and also doesn't leave her worrying about perfoming in front of others or sitting around not quite knowing how to break in and volunteer things about what her character's doing.
- Or... (and?) having her play an NPC for the first session. That way she can have goals and secret knowledge that you've already given her, and you can to a certain extend direct her, give her stuff to do that she doesn't have to invent for herself on the fly, etc.
posted by redfoxtail at 8:22 AM on August 5, 2006

Sounds like my hubby and me 5 yrs ago. If you'd told the teenage me that I'd end up doing dorky D&D things in my late 20's and early 30's I'd have said you were nuts. But I even ended up GM-ing so there is hope for a happy ending.

I think the easiest situation is if there are several players. If it's just the 2 of you then she is on the spot to come up with a lot of the action and, if you haven't played before, you don't really know what you're doing. We played with 5 other experienced gamers which helped tremendously. So I think having your friends there will be good.

If her character has one really distinctive attribute that can be easily played, that helps too. My first character was overconfident and constantly jumped into things without thought - this worked well with the fact I didn't actually know what I was doing.

Also, there is a lot to be said for alcohol! I always thought gaming was more fun after the first beer.

It sounds like the main thing she wants is to not be put on the spot. So, instead of saying "What do you do next?" You could list off some options for her at first - like, "you could pick one of these 2 weapons and fight; or you could try hiding here; or you could call for help; etc." After playing a few times she will get into the swing of things and know what her options are. But it took me a while to learn the stuff that was obvious to the more experienced gamers.

Good luck and have fun!
posted by selfmedicating at 8:22 AM on August 5, 2006

I would suggest turning out all of the lights and play by lots of candlelight. I lived for a few years in a third-world country where we had rolling blackouts, and I can say that candlelight adds tremendously to a D&D experience.

Of course if you're playing space RPGs or your neighbor's got Eminem cranked up, this may not work so well.
posted by rolypolyman at 8:30 AM on August 5, 2006

Agree with about about solo sessions so she can get the hang of the basic rules, dynamics, or even the "concept" of role playing. Additionally, I'd say encourage her to develop her character as much as possible. Not necessarily a short story or something prose, but even a simple character sketch: anything to make the character more than just numbers on a page. Where did this person come from? Doesn't have to be like MLK Jrs FBI file or anything, just something to give some spark.

In my experience, the easiest way to get someone not into RPGs into them is to focus on the experience, which comes from character. It's the rules and dice rolling and, often, "Hello, Fellow Traveler" (lame role playing acting) factors that turn people off. More advanced RPGers develop characters on their own, but every time I got too "gamey," my efforts petered, but every time I established strong character on the front in, it gave the new player a stake in the game and an *emotional* tie, which is the *only* thing that is going to make someone get over the substantial learning curve. (Especially if you are playing Shadowrun. Blegh.)
posted by absalom at 8:36 AM on August 5, 2006

I find that a person's first pen and paper RPG experience is almost always a little awkward because it's not the kind of thing that most people are really used to. The most important thing is to stay with it long enough to get into the game. Those that really give it a chance usually end up really liking the game. Those who convince themselves that they can't do it before they even begin usually drop out pretty quickly.

It also helps if you have at least one person there who's really good at role playing. My buddies and I used to play with a guy who really got into character, and that helps everyone else get into character.

Wizards of the Coast has a decent article on Encouraging Roleplaying.
posted by magodesky at 8:41 AM on August 5, 2006

I too found myself as a new gamer not too long ago (Rolemaster). Some of the things my GM did that made it much easier:

Arranged players so I was seated next around the table from him (he does not use a cardboard barricade).

During our adventure, would make a point to explain how things normally play out in their adventures, how the combat system works (this had to be explained a few times, as far as when I can parry or block and how much of an action things take). He would often interrupt the more game-dominating players to explain what specifically about my character lends itself to a certain encounter.

One of my favorite things about gaming is the remembering of past adventures. I was completely lost for awhile while other players would laugh and remember when so-and-so's Ranger did such-and-such a few years ago. Let these stories be told, and take a few extra minutes to explain to her the situation around the story, and also why it is so gosh darned funny. I think reminiscing about other players' deaths and mistakes is how I learned not to do the same thing and learn a lot about how the game works.

I disagree with the idea about having her play an NPC. It's hard to get attached to them...have stepped in a played a few myself after having my character blown to bits during the first combat of a game or whatnot. ;)

I agree to have someone mix a few drinks (have some yourself...I find it always works out better for the players when GM is handing out loot a bit drunk! :)
posted by effigy at 8:47 AM on August 5, 2006

1pg makes some basic, downloadable rpg adventures ($5.00). This might be a relatively painless way to do an intro session. They have a variety of themes.

1pg rpgs
posted by mecran01 at 9:19 AM on August 5, 2006

Especially if you are playing Shadowrun. Blegh.

Funny you should mention Shadowrun, as it has (to date) been the only RPG I could ever get into. Just because someone doesn't like D&D doesn't mean they're necessarily going to hate RPG's, it could just be that they find it absolutely impossible to "get into" the whole Olde Ages of Yore crappe. Shadowrun put a nice contemporary spin on an old idea.

I'd also like to add that the success of any RPG depends almost exclusively on the talent of the GM. Get a good GM, have a nice-sized group (say, 6-8 people) and you're golden.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:44 AM on August 5, 2006

Shadowrun version 2 was pretty good, but version 3 made a lot of things really silly for no point... Just as a note for getting into the game...
posted by klangklangston at 10:06 AM on August 5, 2006

You might let her watch without having to immediately play -- if you're having fun, it will seem more attractive. I have only tried an RPG once and hated it, and felt so bad that I couldn't get into it. Things that would have helped include having several other people playing. It felt really dumb to be just me and my boyfriend and suddenly I had to pretend to be someone else.

I am naturally uptight and unimaginative, so it might not have worked for me anyway! But all these suggestions would have helped.

Also, I was annoyed because my boyfriend, who had to be the GM, would do something bad to my character and it seemed very arbitary -- if he is GMing and it's not a dice-roll-determined event, why would he be able to choose what happens? Why choose something bad? Obviously I am never meant to play this sort of game, but watching other people play and enjoy it and do things properly would have made it seem a lot more fun, I think now in retrospect.
posted by theredpen at 10:14 AM on August 5, 2006

In "Therapy is Fantasy: Roleplaying, Healing and the Construction of Symbolic Order," John Hughes writes about different kinds of characters that people role play--characters as players and characters as symbols.



In the article he writes, "CHARACTERS AS PLAYERS typify a class of gamer who, in effect, play their own personalities - 'Themselves with weapons on' as one interviewee described them. Typically, such players are young and/or beginners, and so set competitive goals for themselves, wanting to 'win' and willing to sacrifice character consistency in order to do so." This is usually a good type of character for people new to the game. So your wife may want to play a character who is basically herself with a weapon. With such characters, you don't really need to be all that imaginative because your character's responses are just the way that you yourself would respond in such a situation.
posted by magodesky at 10:46 AM on August 5, 2006 [3 favorites]

Or you could play GURPS and roll up a character exactly like your wife who does the exact same thing that your wife does, and gets into a moderately exciting drama at her place of employment.
(One of the most fun campaigns I ever played was a GURPS one where we were all garbagemen dealing with labor/union corruption, but I'll be the first to concede that GURPS isn't always the best solution for people who want to have fun/be excited).
posted by klangklangston at 11:05 AM on August 5, 2006

Heh, Shadowrun was my wife's first (and only) rpg experience. My advice is no on the 1-on-1 (I find it takes a very good player/GM combo to make that work), I say the more co-players the better for a first-timer, as long as they are willing to go eay on her, and give advice/explanations/tips.

Make the 1-on-1 time creating your wife's character. This way you can explain what all the attributes/skills/equipment mean and what they are good for. I'd lean her towards a tank-style character (mages can be tricky to get the hang of) with some kind of blatant quirk/trait/handicap that is easy to role play. This gives her something to fall back on when her imagination can't move fast enough.

I like the idea of giving her some secret motivation that will, again, provide her with a framework to base her character on.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:10 AM on August 5, 2006

These days, I would start a complete newbie with a game like All Flesh Must Be Eaten, because it's easy for a player to simply "play themselves" in a contemporary setting. (And, really, everybody loves zombies, right?)
posted by SPrintF at 11:18 AM on August 5, 2006

Something that has worked for me in the past (different situation though) - weave her own interests and fantasies into the game, especially stuff that she might not think of if you asked her, but you know she would dig it, because you know what movies etc she really likes :) What things in those movies are awesome to her and why, etcc What would she do/be if she could do or have anything, in any setting?

Eg, to clumsily juxtapose some bad cliches, but just as examples, perhaps her character is hired as wedding security planner, where s/he has to find a way to integrate security proceedures into a high-profile wedding so as not to be noticeable to the couple (who are dear to her character), and not spoil their day. And of course, the fit hits the shan and the group has to go nuts trying to keep it all invisible to the wedding party :)
posted by -harlequin- at 1:49 PM on August 5, 2006

Have you considered something a little (or a lot) more rules light than shadowrun? I'm an over the edge evangelist myself.

A simpler ruleset that can be copied down on half a page of paper might be less initimidating and easier to get into than something full of table lookups.

If she's not a science fiction/fantasy fan to begin with, over the edge is set in a more or less contemporary modern world so she won't have to trip over jargon/peculiarities of the setting on top of having to learn rules.
posted by juv3nal at 3:55 PM on August 5, 2006

Combat, combat, combat against lots of simple, low-level enemies. Don't try to jump into the full-on, RPG, puzzle-solving or deeply melodramatic "yonder are the hills of despair through which none shall blah blah blah." Roll dice and kill things.
posted by frogan at 4:35 PM on August 5, 2006

in line with what juv3nal said, you could also take the rules out of the play entirely. Some of the best gaming I had was with a system I didn't understand, and didn't need to because the GM handled it all. Sometimes, if I said I was going to do something difficult, he might say "roll a D10", and I would, not knowing what number I needed to get, but it was symbolically me doing the attempt, and the mechanics were effectively removed from play. The GM handled it all.

Stats/ character creation was translated in english - I wand this aspect to be good, I'll sacrifice some of that to make this better, but there was no understanding of how the numbers would interface with the rules, just a character that I understood from a story perspective, not a game mechanics perspective.
posted by -harlequin- at 4:40 PM on August 5, 2006

As a female who games with her husband, I would recommend being very careful how you behave with her in the context of the game. Perhaps your group (with another married couple and your sister) aren't as bad as mine, but my husband and I had to be really careful when I was introduced to the group not to show any favoritism. That includes bonus information or clues that the other players don't receive.

On the other hand, don't take it too far the other way, especially if she might react like theredpen and resent you.
posted by nekton at 5:05 PM on August 5, 2006

On a note unrelated to the other answers, "I have no imagination" seems to be a really passive-agressive way of saying "i really dont want to do this, so I'm not going to make it easy for you."
posted by softlord at 9:35 AM on August 6, 2006

Most of the characters that end up being the most fun don't actually require too much imagination, i.e. chaotic neutral barbarian. You get to have a big axe, stomp around, act like an idiot and basically do whatever you want.

Of course, everyone has their own thing, that's just mine... I guess the point is that it's really OK to play a stereotype, because the fun comes in how your character develops within the game.
posted by dagnyscott at 9:58 AM on August 6, 2006

Probably you're right on some level, softlord, but I did really try (or I thought I was trying) and felt awful afterwards. I was looking forward to having an activity we'd be able to do together. (We ended up playing Magic.)

I hope it goes better for Mrs JohnnyRotten. Sounds like there's a good chance! I hope we get to hear about it ... ?
posted by theredpen at 6:57 PM on August 6, 2006