selfish to confess a crush?
July 26, 2006 11:09 AM Subscribe
Would confessing my crush be selfish?
posted by invitapriore to Human Relations (27 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I recently made an acquaintance with someone after spending time with a mutual friend. We discovered we had a lot in common and made a time to talk over some drinks. It was as friends, but after spending a few nights out with her I've developed a crush. She then invited me to spend three days at her house to do sound for a student short that was being filmed there by friends she had made during the summer session of her school, and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to pursue her, but to my dismay she seemed to have a lot of affection for one of the guys, as they would give each other massages, lie next to each other at night looking at the stars and talking, etc. She says she is single, and they never actually behaved with each other in a way that would indicate without a doubt that they are involved in any way, but she wasn't like that with anyone else.
Now, the members of that crew are all returning to their respective homes far away from here, and she's going to Los Angeles for a month in about a week. I return to school, which is also far from here, before she returns. Despite being 99% sure that I have no chance of anything happening, I would like to admit my feelings to her, as I would prefer to have a sense of closure.
My question is: would it be selfish to do so? Even if that 1/100 scenario took place and it turned out that she was just good friends with him and hesitant to admit anything to me (I don't think my actions thus far have communicated my actual feelings on any level), I still wouldn't be seeing her again for at least three months. If what I suspect is true and she doesn't have any feelings for me, then the awkwardness will be amplified by the fact that we won't have three months to spend together as friends to get over it. I'm not madly in love– should I keep this to myself?
Thanks for reading this screed.