I lost my pants!

July 22, 2006 4:21 PM

I left some pants in the dryer at my dorm and when i got back they were gone. How can I make an effective poster asking for them to be returned?

This was a week ago and I just found one of them in there today. I think maybe someone didn't see them and took them by accident with the rest of their clothes. They would be very recognizable because they're from a brand that I'm pretty sure no one has heard of.
I would really rather not offer a reward because they've kept them for over a week.
Also, I'm at a high school college program with international students, in case it matters that they're all under 17.

posted by joshuak to grab bag (22 comments total)

Are you looking for what wording to use, or what? I'm not sure how much variance there can be in these posters, if you're not offering a reward or anything. (Not trying to be snarky, I just don't understand what you're asking for). I guess make it polite, and in an easily visible spot, preferably the laundry room itself.
posted by danb at 4:23 PM on July 22, 2006

I was thinking of making a small poster with a picture of the brand name, "please return these to the front desk if found"
anything else? I mean, should i really offer a reward? It's not like i misplaced them, someone took them. Also, the program ends in about 7 days.
posted by joshuak at 4:33 PM on July 22, 2006

Oh come on, danb, there's lots of room for creativity in the design of such a poster.

TO WHOMEVER STOLE MY PANTS:

RETURN MY PANTS OR I WILL BE FORCED TO WALK AROUND NAKED.

THOSE PANTS WERE MADE FOR ME BY MY HALF-BLIND, HALF PARALYSED ESTONIAN GRANDMOTHER. PLEASE RETURN THEM BEFORE SHE DIES OF GRIEF AND THE FUTILITY OF IT ALL

THOSE PANTS MAKE THE WEARERS ASS LOOK FAT. BETTER ME THEN YOU; PLEASE RETURN THEM.
posted by orange swan at 4:33 PM on July 22, 2006 [2 favorites has favorites]

So you lost more than one pair? I don't know what you mean by "I just found one of them in there today".

I'd make a funny poster saying something about how embarrassing it is to go around pantsless. Or maybe you could do a poster of Donald Duck or Baby Huey or some other...duck (ducks without pants is truly comedy gold, apparently) and then put a pair of pants on them to illustrate how much better they look with pants on. Or something.

My point is that I would do something humorous, non-threatening, whatever. Maybe the person who took them did so by accident and now has no idea what to do with them. So give them an out by saying something about just returning them to the laundry room, no harm no fowl.

(yep I spelled foul wrong on purpose)
posted by iconomy at 4:37 PM on July 22, 2006

I was thinking of making a small poster with a picture of the brand name, "please return these to the front desk if found"

I like this. I would just add 'Lost in laundry room on (date)'.

However, when you're actually in a laundromat in the real world, don't ever leave anything unattended. You will never see your towels or underthings again if they get ganked.
posted by pieoverdone at 4:46 PM on July 22, 2006

Will the person who took the pants I left in the dryer please return them. No questions will be asked.
posted by KRS at 5:08 PM on July 22, 2006

I'd add a bright and colorful picture of said pants rendered in Magic Marker for those of us who don't have a tendency to read signs in the laundry room.
posted by trevyn at 5:16 PM on July 22, 2006

Either be funny, as above, or assume that it was an accident. "My pants got mixed in with someone else's laundry. [Description] If you've found them and were wondering what to do with them, please leave them outside door [x]." Getting angry and bitter merely serves to annoy everyone who didn't take your pants. I had an RA who sent out hall-wide e-mails every two days for about three weeks incoherently demanding the return of her pants; it reached the point where I fantasized about finding whoever had her pants, taking them from that person, and then hanging the pants from the balcony as a sign of defiance. I didn't have her pants, I didn't want her pants, and I didn't care that her pants were missing, either.

If they deliberately stole your pants, then there is no hope. If they found your pants and said, "Hey, cool, free pants," then it is possible that the threat of public exposure and the knowledge of who the pants belong to is enough to convince them to return them. Give them an out which does not suggest that you will be lurking inside your room, ready to descend upon whoever delivers the pants, screaming, "I have you now, Pants Thief!" No one's going to return your pants under those conditions. Be funny or deliberately clueless.
posted by posadnitsa at 5:16 PM on July 22, 2006

Are we talking about pants as in trousers or pants as in underwear?
posted by smackfu at 5:22 PM on July 22, 2006

I SAW YOU TAKE MY PANTS FROM THE LAUNDRY ROOM.

YOU HAVE 3 DAYS TO RETURN THEM THERE BEFORE I REPORT YOU TO THE DORM AUTHORITIES.


NO, I'M NOT KIDDING.

TRY ME.
posted by ab3 at 5:31 PM on July 22, 2006

ab3: I know it's the end of the program, but making threats you can't backup is seldom a good idea. It's a great way to lose credibility, and joshuak probably doesn't want to be forever remembered as the "pants threat guy who couldn't make good." Quite frankly, it seems like there's enough drama in his life already. If I were him, I'd leave a polite flyer asking for the return of pants that may have been taken by mistake and hope for the best.

Also, assuming no one else has heard of the brand is probably a bad idea; there is probably less truly unique clothing than you think.
posted by JMOZ at 5:58 PM on July 22, 2006

If I looking for pants

them name is Levi 501

(insert drawing of pants)

I lost my pants

(insert phone number)

Love Joshua

PS I'll find my pants

Who took my pants
posted by kindall at 6:08 PM on July 22, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

joshuak probably doesn't want to be forever remembered as the "pants threat guy who couldn't make good."

"pants threat guy"....hehe. That would make a great band name or username.

So what kind of poster/sign are you going to make?
posted by iconomy at 6:45 PM on July 22, 2006

To whom it may concern:

If you wanted to get in my pants, all you had to do was ask.

Now may I get in them?
posted by solotoro at 7:04 PM on July 22, 2006

Offer a nice reward for the return of the pants to be given to the person who took them.

Then offer triple the value of it to anyone who, bounty hunter style, can retrieve the pants for you.
posted by perelman at 8:37 PM on July 22, 2006

However, when you're actually in a laundromat in the real world, don't ever leave anything unattended. You will never see your towels or underthings again if they get ganked.

On the other hand, I've never once attended my clothes at the laundromat a block away. Put in washer, go home, put in dryer, go home, pick up. I lost a pair of pants once, but it was because I forgot them, not because they disappeared while I was not wasting my time watching clothes rotate.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 8:42 PM on July 22, 2006

Clothing used to go missing all the time in my residence. One woman put up a sign that said, "If you'd like the shoes to go with the dress you stole, please go to room 302."

It wasn't an effective sign. I'd recommend staying away from anything accusatory, perhaps even throwing the word "accidentally" in there. Realistically, I don't think your chances are good.

I've never had anything stolen, but I did have to start attending my dorm wash sessions because of the jerk who would go around opening all the dryers so your time would run out without your clothes drying. I hated that guy.
posted by ODiV at 9:37 PM on July 22, 2006

MISSING: 1 PAIR INFECTED PANTS

I have pubic lice.

They are impossible to get out of pants by regular washing.

Someone accidentally picked up my lousy pants from the laundry room.

You now have pubic lice too.

If you return them, I'll share my ointment with you.
posted by kookoobirdz at 9:48 PM on July 22, 2006 [1 favorite has favorites]

yes defintiely use humor
posted by crewshell at 10:26 PM on July 22, 2006

If you're at a school with international students be sure to distinguish between pants and trousers. To a UK student, pants means underwear.
posted by gfrobe at 11:40 PM on July 22, 2006

You seem to be having a hard time of it joshuak. Nothing seems to be going right for you at the moment. Why don't you create a poster that lays out exactly how hard things are for you and hope the thief will be touched by your tale of woe and give you your pants back. kindall heh.
posted by tellurian at 4:13 AM on July 23, 2006

Take a photo of you in your [tasteful] underwear. Post it all over with the text: "LOST: ONE PAIR OF PANTS. OWNERS ARE COLD AND NEEDY."

You may not get your pants back but you might get a few dates.
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 5:17 AM on July 23, 2006