A Real Pain In The Ass

July 5, 2006 7:23 AM

Every once in a while I get a very sharp pain in my bum-hole that seems to be related to a:) Gas or b:) BM (Bowel Movemement). Once it was so bad I thought I was going to pass out from the pain... until the BM happened. The pain feels as if I would be clenching my bum-hole as tight as I could beyond normal pressure and is usually relieved after a BM. Sometimes this pain comes after sexual intercourse (NO, I am not sticking things up my bum-hole, not that there is a problem with that sort of thing) which leads me to believe it has something to do with the tightening of the sphincter muscle? I have heard that there are ways to relieve this pain in the ass, but how? Any relief tips or suggestions?
posted by randomthoughts to health & fitness (15 comments total)

Sounds like our old friend, the anal fissure...
posted by A189Nut at 7:30 AM on July 5, 2006

I second the idea that you may have an anal fissure.
posted by LoriFLA at 7:44 AM on July 5, 2006

Isn't your prostate down there somewhere? If you're a guy, I also sometimes get discomfort after ejaculating as I assume there's some muscle doing its thing down there with a bit too much vigor. Anyway, it could be related to a swloen prostate I suppose.

And who are these doctors of which you speak?
posted by GuyZero at 8:07 AM on July 5, 2006

Ok, IANAD, but I've had pains similar to what you're describing, and mine have always been muscle cramps (anal? rectal? I dunno).

Is this a dull, throbbing pain or is it a sharp stabbing pain? I find the former occassionally happens after intercourse and when my bum is cold. I have almost passed out from the pain, but it goes away if you sit in a warm bath and pop a couple of advil. The second kind happens after too much coffee and makes me go "whoooo!" for about 5 seconds and then it disappears.

Bye the way, I've talked to many friends who have these same kinds of bum pains. I call the first kind "the midnight bum hurt" because it sometimes wakes me up at night.

I once read a doctor's advice about this, too. She said that there's no known cause, that it's quite common, and that it probably isn't serious.

But go see a doctor anyways.
posted by blisterpack at 8:15 AM on July 5, 2006 [1 favorite]

Please indicate your sex. For some reason I think you are male, but I can't be sure.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:28 AM on July 5, 2006

If you are a woman, do you think it could be endometriosis?
posted by peep at 8:53 AM on July 5, 2006

yeah the dull pain is simply constipation; your colon is hurtin' from trying to move a big poop around.

i get these in the middle of the night sometimes too, and call them the "horrible butt pangs." usually a trip to the head fixes things up shortly.
posted by joeblough at 9:03 AM on July 5, 2006 [1 favorite]

[a few comments removed, take metacommentary to metatalk]
posted by jessamyn at 10:45 AM on July 5, 2006

Is it the kind where you all of a sudden freeze up as if you've been impaled and practically cannot move?

I'm suprised no one has mentioned hemorrhoids...although the anal fissure sounds more likely. And thanks for asking a question I never knew I needed answered.
posted by Brainy at 11:09 AM on July 5, 2006

Thanks for the advice... I am 99% sure it is not anal fissure but more the "horrible butt pangs" that others wrote about. I once new a guy who used to say "He relieved the pressure by sticking his thumb up his ass" - but I never knew if he was serious because he was always wierd and strange like that.

I am male... and few advil or a BM usually works but was wondering if any other things would more quickly relieve the pain? Like the thumb up the ol' sphencter... which I haven't tried (not that there is anything wrong with that... /end Seinfeld humor.
posted by randomthoughts at 12:37 PM on July 5, 2006

I have pains like that, and I can almost pinpoint the moment where I ate just the wrong thing to cause them. Typically, it's cheese, specifically related to a lot of pizza consumption. Something about the combination of the gas buildup along with the constipation that goes along with the cheese-eating means I'm in for some big trouble.

If I'm being intelligent about it, I'll try to mix in some stool-softening foods to keep myself from entering the pain zone. Bananas are a good choice, along with most Chinese or Indian dishes (currey and/or garlic).

My pain is specifically because of the fissure issue, though, so YMMV. At one point in my life, it got so bad that there was blood in the tank after particularly painful experiences. Makes you think twice about being too regular.
posted by thanotopsis at 12:58 PM on July 5, 2006

i'm not sure there are any quick fixes to this problem. you can actually try massaging your gut in a clockwise fashion (from your point of view looking down on your gut) to try to get the terds to move on down the road, as it were. you can usually feel the offender over on the left side with your left hand as a big lump in your gut.

i think it can be gas related too, so even if "there you sit all broken hearted," you may still find some relief. not sure that digital manipulation is useful as the problem is probably higher up in your colon than is reachable with your fingers... ugh. wear gloves!

i think the best way to avoid this is simply to try to not eat foods that are going to back up the works, or try to get some fiber in the mix, as thanotopsis mentions above.
posted by joeblough at 2:36 PM on July 5, 2006

Well, I get the occasional hugely painful but thankfully brief cramping pain in the arse every now and then. I have no idea why it happens but if that describes your symptoms then at least you'll know you're not alone. I've had this on and off for about twenty years now so I'm becoming increasingly confident that it ain't rectal cancer. :-)
posted by Decani at 6:00 PM on July 5, 2006

I have the same problem and I believe the medical term (IANAD) is "Spastic Colon." It is quite literally a charlie horse, up our bums.

I have found a few things help:
- Cut back on caffeine. The more caffeine I have had, the more frequent I have attacks.

- Watch your stress level. I find attacks most frequent and the most painfull when I am stressed out of my gord.

- Increase your water intake. If you occasionally have very dried out and difficult to move BM's the may trigger the problem.

- Don't read on the toilet. Lingering there will sometimes trigger the spasm or make an existing spasm worse.

In dire emergencies, use a finger or whatever dull implement you are comfortable with to gently convince the sphincter to loosen up. As instinct probably already tells you, the object will have to be inserted in your anus. This should not be a forceful act. If you actually do have a spasm, this will ease the pain right away. This is not any kind of long term therapy however because it doe not stop the pain totally and once you stop applying pressure most of the pain will usually return.
posted by BeerGrin at 10:35 AM on July 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

Increase your water intake. If you occasionally have very dried out and difficult to move BM's the may trigger the problem.

I've actually found that water, in some instances, can increase dehydration, if your body is in the "pass through" mode. I've had this condition both during serious constipation and periods of diarrhea.

In water's place, I suggest Pedialyte. That stuff is pure magic, bottled. You'll find it in drug stores and grocery stores in the baby sections.
posted by thanotopsis at 11:21 AM on July 6, 2006