Respond to trash-talking coworker?

May 31, 2006 12:16 PM

I recently discovered that a co-worker has been suggesting that I am ill-suited for my recent promotion; should I respond?

This coworker was himself rejected for the position and is unpopular in the office (he has embezzled from the company in the past, but due to a personal relationship he stays on). So, I am not concerned about my own coworkers because they know the score. My real concern here is that he is saying this to senior management at our new parent company who are not aware of his poor reputation and don't know me any better. Confronting him will only result in his denial that he said anything. I fear that if I were to attempt to clear this up with the parent company, by tipping them off to his poor reputation, I will just come off looking like a mud-slinger. Is my only option to just suffer his bad mouthing in silence?

posted by GIRLesq to human relations (17 comments total)

I wouldn't respond. You can't police what he will say to anyone and any meddling I see will make you look bad.

If your coworkers could back you up, than I think you're in good shape. Ignore him.
posted by agregoli at 12:18 PM on May 31, 2006

If you genuinely are qualified, your performance will speak much louder than a subordinate's bitching ever will.
posted by ChasFile at 12:20 PM on May 31, 2006

Say nothing. Others will make sure that his poor reputation makes it to the new parent company. And any senior manager worth his salt who hears someone say that their rival didn't deserve a promotion is going to know what's up right away.

Don't think of it as 'suffering.' Successful people get badmouthed. You shouldn't care about this guy, any more than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie should care about the thread in the blue about their power in Namibia.
posted by bingo at 12:28 PM on May 31, 2006

I like this one: “It’s easy to save face. Just keep the lower half of it tightly closed.”
posted by dchunks at 12:36 PM on May 31, 2006

Prove your worth through your work, and don't say a word. If he's willing to badmouth you to senior staff, he's not someone you want to get into a war of words with, because he's been fighting the war already.

Do what you do, do it well, and you'll be fine.
posted by pdb at 12:41 PM on May 31, 2006

Chop him up and dump him into molten lava.

Ok, just kidding. But go ahead and think about it.. ;-)

Otherwise, the best thing that you can do is to kick ass at your new position. Let this guy talk himself into a corner and make himself look stupid. For all you know, the senior folks are thinking "WTF is this turkey and why is he talking smack about someone that appears to be doing a good job?"
posted by drstein at 12:45 PM on May 31, 2006

This is very much a situation covered by my "Time wounds all heels" rule: He's an ass, and he can make his assery abundantly clear to anyone who counts, without your help.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 1:01 PM on May 31, 2006

Not only should you do what you do well, but you should play a tactical defence. Workplace tactical defence is about measurables and appearance:

a) Identify the goals most visible to the new management and achieve results that exceed what your naysayer has said. (These goals may or may not be the goals you think the new management should have.)

b) Be chivalrous. Never gossip or tell secrets, and uphold the company policy scrupulously. Your naysayer already has a problem history here, so you have a natural advantage. (On a side note, your new management should already know about his history of embezzlement if there is any record and if they practice to a minimal standard of due diligence.)
posted by By The Grace of God at 1:06 PM on May 31, 2006 [1 favorite]

You might talk to someone in HR - if the new parent company has a person in that position.
posted by filmgeek at 1:45 PM on May 31, 2006

Well, depending on how large your office is, you might be better off responding to these allegations. Rumors have a way of living for a long, long time in large companies. You might draft a letter to HR with the ol' "It has come to my attention..." You don't even have to name the guy. Just indicate that there is a person in the office trying to undermine your position and you'd like it to stop. But only do this if his insinuations are demonstrably affecting your ability to do your job. If this isn't the case then nobody cares and you'll come off looking whiny/paranoid/over-sensitive.
posted by nixerman at 2:01 PM on May 31, 2006

I'd skip involving HR. They have better things to do than involve themselves with the corporate equivalent of tattling.

Look, at any reasonable company, people in Senior Management (assuming this isn't a family-run business) tend to be there because they're smart and good at their jobs. Which means they know that employees who badmouth other employees aren't to be trusted. Especially one with such a shady history (which I GUARANTEE they will find out about, if they don't know already).

Do your job and let him dig his own grave.
posted by mkultra at 3:11 PM on May 31, 2006

A backstabbing coworker can hurt you. He can point out and amplify your weaknesses, create doubt, foment discord. It can make your life quite miserable. Find a mentor, which is a good idea anyway, and ask for help. If you supervise him, make office morale and respect an issue, and call him on it. Document any backstabbing and bad performance on his part, in case you have to build a case against him. If you can make him an ally, all the better. Continue to do a great job, don't ever let him know he's getting to you, and watch your back.
posted by theora55 at 6:48 PM on May 31, 2006

I wouldn't say anything unless you start to feel that someone above you is starting to treat you differently as a result.

Think if you were senior management and an employee was knocking another employee who'd just been promoted--you'd think less of the the person doing the knocking, not the one who's being complained about. He's hurting himself more than you.
posted by grandstand at 3:02 AM on June 1, 2006

All the responses here are spot on.
I was in a similar situation, except the backstabber was more important than I am and has a stellar rep and was actually advocating I be fired, based on personal animus. I was very freaked out. But senior managers told me they knew my work and I shouldn't worry about it. When the uberboss started asking around about my performance based on the backstabber's complaints, the senior managers set him straight. I did nothing, and came off smelling like a rose because I didn't try any defensive or retaliatory moves. The backstabber ended up looking very petty and slightly nuts. It was kind of sweet actually.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:41 AM on June 1, 2006

Theora55's and cunninglinguist's posts represent my own experiences.
posted by mrmojoflying at 6:36 AM on June 1, 2006

Responding with recompense gossip about him, or even bothering to defend yourself to others might put you in exactly the same accusation you yourself are making against him. Rarely would a reasonable boss consult the musings of just one employee, particularly one who makes himself known as a complainer. It is the work of your hands that gets the promotion, not the work of someone else -- so how can the work of someone else get you back out of it, if all the evidence is clear you're the one?
posted by vanoakenfold at 7:59 AM on June 1, 2006

Well, people, it worked. I sat tight. And indeed he is being phased out (being the "creative" individual he is, he tells people he is "working at home").

But, I must add, I didn't say NOTHING. When my opinion about his performance was requested, I didn't hesitate to say: "my biggest problem with him is trust -- I don't trust him as a member of my team."

Thanks MeFi!

(P.S. I don't want to sneak in a question... but I am wondering how to mark this "resolved").
posted by GIRLesq at 10:39 PM on June 21, 2006