Why are boys so physical?
May 23, 2006 7:49 AM Subscribe
Boys! And their manifestation of physical energy + why do they have a love/hate relationship with trying to kill each other?
posted by LadyBonita to human relations (27 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I am a mother of all boys and I'd like to understand their behavior better. Sometimes I'm concerned about the way they behave with each other and not sure where/when/if/how to set limits. My husband always tries to calm me down with "that's just the way boys are and need to be."
So I'm curious, and would love some insight on young male behavior. Our boys are close, they show lots of affection towards each other, they defend one another - yet nearly every day they seem to also wish to kill each other. What is going on?
For example - they will put each other in choke holds, laugh uproarishly, throw each other to the ground, wrestle, laugh, chase each other - then 5 minutes late one of them is furious about the very same actions (choking, wrestling, etc.) - and the real fight and angry tears begin. I don't understand this, and I'm beginning to dread when they start this physcial 'playfulness'.
Same thing happens when they wrestle around with Dad - all laughter and fun until someone (boy) gets mad about something - and then I have to deal with the fallout.
Also, every evening between dinner and preparing for bed, they seem to have a huge surge of physical energy - running, jumping, generally being very physcial - this time of day doesn't always lead to a fight but I'm curious about why it happens.
I'm wondering if this is proper behavior to allow, if it should be tempered somehow, if it's just normal boy behavior that shouldn't be stiffled. It just doesn't seem very civilized to me and makes me feel nervous.
Some background - I was raised with all girls (and Dad), we didn't have very many hair pulling, slapping fights. We were affectionate and physically gentle with each other (my sons are more likely to give me a light punch in the arm than to give me a hug - though they do hug).
My husband was raised with all brothers, single hardworking, tough-minded mother, absent father. He claims he and his brothers acted the same and even much worse (and they've all turned out to be well-mannered upstanding citizens).
And the boys are much different when alone - more calm. It seems as if things begin to get more physically 'active' when more than one boy is together. They behave well in public but I've seen this same physical stuff start up when they meet a friend while we're out.
Any insights for me?