ChurchFilter:I don't know if I should stay with this congregation or cut my losses and find a new parish...
Last year I posted about some issues
I was having with our church website, and how one member of our congregation constantly had issues with the site. I got some good technical advice, but more importantly, I got confirmation that SHE was the issue, rather than my web skills.
For whatever reason, this woman has a problem with me. Call it insecurity, unwillingness to change, whatever, but in the year and a half that she and I have served on our Vestry together, she hasn't let a meeting go by without some kind of dig, or nasty comment, or temper tantrum. Every time she has acted out in one of these meetings, she has been calmed down by someone in a "Now, now, don't get all excited, dear" sort of way, while I sit there with mouth agape, reeling from whatever she just said to me, or about me. Attempts to defend myself have been met with "Ok ladies, let's not do this here. Everyone's opinions are valued, so let's all just get along."
I've told the Rector many times that she makes me uncomfortable, hurts my feelings and seems to be thwarting my ability to actually do my job and he has managed to be simultaneously sympathetic to me and defensive of her("that's just the way she is, don't take it personally")
This past week we had a meeting where she finally completely lost it with me. A few people started to speak up for me, but the Senior Warden quickly smoothed over everything as he is wont to do and moved on. As soon as the meeting ended I told him "I'm not putting up with this anymore" and hightailed out of there.
The next day both he and the Rector spoke to her and told her her behavior was unacceptable. Next month they're going to lay down "behavior guidelines" for the Vestry, as though we've all been bad little kids! The Rector told me that "she should apologize, but I know she won't" and I again feel totally unsupported. All that will happen is that she will resent me even more and instead of bitching at meetings will bitch behind the scenes.
I have been happy in this congregation otherwise, and have put a lot of work into outreach and marketing (or trying to, anyway!). My husband is fed up and wants to go to another church, but I so much prefer going to a church in our community (there are no other churches in our denomination in this town). I don't know what to do.