Comments on: mom got let go. how can i raise her spirits?

Question: mom got let go. how can i raise her spirits?

misanthropicsarah — Mon, 15 May 2006 10:03:48 -0800

My mom just got let go from her job. What can I do to help her?

She's 59 and teaches first grade at a small, rural, financially challenged Catholic school. She got let go because of low enrollment and because she doesn't have a lot of seniority.

I doubt that she'll get another job in teaching because of her age.

I'm not looking for ideas on other careers or jobs she could pursue, rather, I'd like ideas on how to help her look at this as an early retirement (though without the funds to do 'retirement' things like travel or buy a new house).

I'm also worried that she might just stop living. Not in a suicide sense, but in a 'watch tv all day' sense. She's not lazy, but prone to depression and self-pity (and I'm really not saying that in a mean way).

I'd like suggestions about how to lift her spirits, get her out and doing things, etc.

I'm going home, by coincidence, on her last day of work and spending a week at home for the first time in three years, so I'm hoping that will help a little.

By: Alpenglow

Alpenglow — Mon, 15 May 2006 10:16:55 -0800

Maybe help her find a place she can volunteer at, working with children. After school programs? Unfortunately, it's unpaid, but can do wonders for the soul & she might be able to make some friends & possible connections that could lead to another teaching job.

By: Gucky

Gucky — Mon, 15 May 2006 10:24:10 -0800

Volunteering will help her feel needed and useful, as well as get her socializing and in the community. Even in a small community, there seems to always be a need for adult literacy teachers and other things that align with what she may enjoy doing if she's a teacher.

Any kind of club, activity or cause is good for giving meaning in retirement.

By: invisible ink

invisible ink — Mon, 15 May 2006 10:56:51 -0800

Ditto on what Alpenglow and Gucky said about volunteering. When you go home, perhaps you can treat her out to a nice lunch, and then afterwards take a trip to the local library together? Also, now that the sun is coming out, maybe some gardening? You could buy her new tools and packets of seeds.

By: Soliloquy

Soliloquy — Mon, 15 May 2006 11:21:24 -0800

My mother was in almost the exact same situation last year. I suggest you take a couple days to just enjoy each other's company and recover from the shock, then go shopping together and buy her a new outfit for going on interviews. Get her hair done, etc. Then hit the job listings. Tell her not to give up if she isn't successful at first; as the next school year draws closer and closer the schools will become increasingly desperate to fill holes and more likely to overlook her age.

My mom is now teaching at a school for special-needs children, and is much happier there despite the lower salary. This could be an opportunity for your mother to find something that really interests her.

By: nakedcodemonkey

nakedcodemonkey — Mon, 15 May 2006 11:46:42 -0800

Some nice suggestons so far. Just want to note that right now she's had the rug pulled out from under her, which can make a person feel vulnerable and lost. Be careful that in your good intentions, that you don't try to make those "next steps" decisions for her. If she's the one choosing to treat this as a early retirement and has the means to do it, good on her! But if she were to feel like it's a decision you or the school essentially made for her, it could play into that feeling of having lost control of her own destiny.

By the way, at her age getting a new teaching job shouldn't be out of the question if she's interested. I know several women who got their first teaching job around your mom's age. With her experience and references, she has something special to share.

If she's a churchgoer, teaching Sunday School can be a fun alternative to a fulltime gig. Helps scratch that itch for teaching.

By: borkencode

borkencode — Mon, 15 May 2006 15:09:09 -0800

If she wishes to continue teaching but doesn't feel like beginning a new full time position, she might consider substitute teaching, it would also provide a bit of supplemental income.