Trash or treaure?

May 14, 2006 9:19 AM

What should I do about my weird neighbor encounter?

Scene: I'm cutting my lawn. It's 11 a.m. on a Sunday, not crazy early. I have a bagger mower, and I put the clippings in a trash can then throw them on the compost pile. I'm finished, so I go to empty the trash can and leave the mower on my front lawn, by the curb.

When I come around the corner of the house, I see the teenage (13/14) son of the neighbor who lives directly behind me pushing my mower into his yard, while walking his dog on a leash. I'm so stunned I can't really say anything, so I just follow him into the backyard and take my mower back. I talk this over with my wife and she suggests that I ring their bell and say something.

I do so, and it seemed like my neighbor (female) was sort of expecting me. I said "Something odd just happened..." and explained what I saw. She calls the kid to the door and he say "Oh, I thought it was in the trash." Trash day is Thursday around here, and this kid doesn't seem like the industious lawn-mowing hustler type. She say "better give it back" and I say, yeah, I already recovered it. She sort of seems to shrug it off as some misunderstanding.

I'm not sure if she sent the kid over herself (not wanting to hear a lawnmower on mother's day, no problem but do it yourself), or if the kid is kind of acting out. His Alzheimer's grandfather has just come to live with them - my wife found him wandering confused in our front yard a week or so ago - and maybe he just needs attention? I've never seen this kid walk his dog on my block. He cut through my next door neighbor's yard and made a beeline for the mower then pushed it back to his yard. I don't really want to have neighbor wars (I've spoken to these folks twice in the seven years we haved lived here, once when lightning struck a tree in their yard casusing a limb to fall in our yard) but this is sort of wierd and unsettling.

Should I let it go? Call the cops? Talk to the kid's father?

posted by fixedgear to Human Relations (36 answers total)

I would let it go. The cops will laugh at you. Even if the kid was 'stealing' the mower, he was doing it in a halfhearted way, and you've demonstrated that it's not going to work, and probably embarassed him in the process. Chances are very good that the situation is resolved.
posted by bingo at 9:23 AM on May 14, 2006

Forget it, you'll waste more effort thinking about it (you may already have done so) then not dealing with this will cost you.

It doesn't sound from anything you've said that this is something that might re-occur, so I'd just forget it unless it does.
posted by tiamat at 9:36 AM on May 14, 2006

You did the right thing for now. You called the kid on his bad move and raised it with a parent. Leave it at that. I would, however, write a quck memo to yourself documenting exactly what happened and when, so if any other issues arise in the future, you have a record.

And keep an eye on those neighbors.
posted by brain_drain at 9:39 AM on May 14, 2006

I am not sure how deep you want to get into this, but it sounds like the kid could use an adult friend and role model about now.
posted by LarryC at 9:39 AM on May 14, 2006

Keep an eye on this kid. He looks like trouble. However, I probably wouldn't do anything more about this particular incident, unless they bring it up again, in which case I would be honest and say that it seemed more like the kid was stealing your mower, than an innocent mistake.
posted by caddis at 9:44 AM on May 14, 2006

It's certainly possible that these people aren't very bright and thought that you were leaving a perfectly good lawnmower to be picked up on trash day. But probably not.

It's pretty unlikely he'll be so brazen again.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:04 AM on May 14, 2006

Ignore it, but don't ignore the next thing, if it happens.
posted by 517 at 10:08 AM on May 14, 2006

Do they have anything that you want?
posted by theredpen at 10:08 AM on May 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

Leaving something on the curb unattended is the international sign for "I don't want it anymore, have at it."
posted by lovejones at 10:16 AM on May 14, 2006

let it go, but keep your eye on him
posted by pyramid termite at 10:35 AM on May 14, 2006

I doubt most 13/14 year olds are so aware of trash day as to think "Oh, but trash day is Thursday, that's not trash." I think it's pretty plausible that it was a mistake, and one that he probably won't make again.
posted by needs more cowbell at 10:55 AM on May 14, 2006

People throw away working things all the time. My dad threw away our mower when he retired, and hired the kid next door to mow the lawn. That kid had his own lawn business, and made a killing (he bought himself a car, and went to college). If you really wanted to, you could find out why the kid wanted your mower- maybe he wants to make some money mowing lawns, and you could lend it to him in exchange for him doing your lawn. Maybe he likes to take old, broken things apart, and you could promise to always give him your old toasters, blenders, etc.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:05 AM on May 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

Yes, in my neighborhood, leaving things by the curb is often taken as a signal that it's trash. However, since you just mowed the grass, the kid should have known better ... but in my view this isn't a big deal.
posted by jayder at 11:13 AM on May 14, 2006

I was 14 the year my father died and pretty much no one noticed me again after that, and of course, I started acting out in a big way.

If this kid's sick grandpa just moved in, all the attention is probably focused on the grandpa. I wonder if maybe he took the mower to get attention. Anybody's attention. Like LarryC said above, maybe you could pay some attention to this kid, if you feel like getting involved at all.
posted by astruc at 11:23 AM on May 14, 2006

I agree with jayder & others – sounds like a misunderstanding.
posted by furiousthought at 11:38 AM on May 14, 2006

I'd try to keep your portable stuff in the garage from now on, just in case.
posted by k8t at 12:16 PM on May 14, 2006

Something is odd, IMHO. Let it go for now but -- as others said -- keep an eye on the kid. Keep an eye on the whole bunch of them.

You might want to consider getting a fence in the future.
posted by bim at 12:21 PM on May 14, 2006

It sounds plausible to me that he really thought it was meant for the trash. You were messing around with the trash can, he had just been on a walk so he didn't know you had been mowing and even the "never walks the dog" bit is explained by the grandfather coming in so he gets new stuff to do. Not the smartest conclusion, but he is a dumb teenager. Probably dumb rather than malicious.
posted by insomnus at 12:23 PM on May 14, 2006

Leaving something on the curb unattended is the international sign for "I don't want it anymore, have at it."

People throw away working things all the time.

I'm in this camp. If it's something good, like a fully functioning mower, it has nothing to do with trash day, because you aren't leaving it out for the garbagemen, you're leaving it out for people passing by. Around here, I don't even think they would pick up things like mowers.

I think the kid was probably not paying too much attention, really did get into the "it's good free stuff" frame of mind, and wanted to lay his claim. What better way to get attention than by bringing home an awesome free mower? Though I guess that could backfire in a big way. ;)

How close to the curb was it?
posted by trevyn at 12:37 PM on May 14, 2006

I would probably think nothing more of it than the mower was out at the curb and free for the taking. I don't know if you have private trash pickup or not, but St. Louis city provides trash pickup and the sort of do it whenever they feel like it. Anything that is left in the alley by the dumpster is considered free game for anyone else.

Anyway, maybe he was thinking he could take the mower and mow lawns over the summer with it. Ask him, maybe you could point him to craigslist so he could get equipment then advertise himself there.
posted by pieoverdone at 3:09 PM on May 14, 2006

dude, you have to much time on your hands if this causes an Ask post... you said the kid was 14ish.. he puished the mower in to his yard.. not rolled it into his garage and shut the door, haha. Hes probably just doing what kids do... weird things. No harm no fualt,

now, if it continues... or the incidents increase in frequency then maybe a more pointed talk with the mom might be in order.
posted by crewshell at 3:36 PM on May 14, 2006

If he didn't see you leave it there, he just might have thought it was trash. And he might not be thinking too clearly or he might be furious at having to walk the dog and maybe share a bathroom or give up his TV or whatever else having Grandpa live there entails. I know that, when I was a teenager, the local kids were always seizing upon anything left remotely near the curb. (Even the forms used for building cement walls -- they thought it was scrap.) They would have been excited to see a lawn mower because they could either use it to make money mowing lawns or -- in a more likely scenario -- they'd use it to build a go-cart. Kids were always building go-carts with lawn mower motors and shopping cart frames. You never know what the kid was thinking. But I wouldn't leave anything lying around my yard for a while, if I were you!
posted by acoutu at 3:49 PM on May 14, 2006

About all this 'he thought it was garbage' stuff. It really depends on the neighborhood. In working-class areas, where there is a lot of foot traffic, car traffic, people going by not just on their way home but also to go about their daily business, etc., then it is understood that if you leave something on the curb and walk away, it isn't yours anymore. On the other hand, in the lush hills of upper middle class suburbia, where on many streets, nobody goes by on foot at all, and the only people who drive by are the people who live very close...well, you could drag your lawn mower out to the vacant lot across the street and leave it there overnight, and it still wouldn't be clear what your intention was.

So, it's possible that this kid used to live in the former type of neighborhood, and now lives in the latter, and just hasn't figured out the new atmosphere yet.

Also, yes, there is obviously a spectrum betwixt the two types of neighborhoods I described, but you get the idea.
posted by bingo at 5:05 PM on May 14, 2006

You now have a perfect excuse to shout "You kids get off my lawn!" any time you want.

Welcome to middle age :)
posted by flabdablet at 5:24 PM on May 14, 2006

Not only am I on the kid's side, I am outraged that you would even consider calling the cops. This is completely your fault.

You don't put stuff on the curb that you want to keep. You don't store your mower there, what other possible reason besides not wanting it would it be sitting there? There wasn't a for sale sign hanging out by the mower.

Leaving something on the curb unattended is the international sign for "I don't want it anymore, have at it."

People throw away working things all the time.

Not only am I completely in this camp... I would have taken the mower myself. This kid is not "weird" I doubt he is "trouble", some of these responses in this thread are just ridiculous.
posted by banished at 8:56 PM on May 14, 2006

Yeah, I take back my "probably not."
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:06 PM on May 14, 2006

Wow: I'd just like to comment on the 'international sign' aspect, as maybe it really does work like that in the US. Here in Australia, (where I've lived in Melbourne and Brisbane, anyway), the only trash you put out is the garbage bin the night before collection, and hard rubbish (like lawnmowers) for council collection once or twice a year. This goes out a few days before the date, and for these few days a year only would it be considered normal to pick up other people's stuff off the grass, and a mistake could be made. The rest of the year, it just doesn't happen, and if I saw someone do that I would only consider it deliberate theft. (We used to leave a rake or broom outside all the time when we took a break).
posted by jacalata at 9:40 PM on May 14, 2006

It's quite likely that this kid was under the mistaken impression that things left on your lawn are free for the taking, as many people seem to be here as well.
As far as I'm concerned, if you take something out of my lawn, you've committed theft.

You got your mower back, and notified a parent, so no harm, no foul.

However, I agree with 517, ignoring it this time is being a good neighbor, but next time, it's a problem that needs to be handled.
posted by madajb at 10:15 PM on May 14, 2006

Some folks need to read the question again. fixedgear didn't leave the mower on the curb; it was near the curb but on the lawn.

It could be understandable for someone to believe that an object left on the lawn is fair game. But we're talking about a LAWN MOWER, not an old mattress. If somone removes a mower from a lawn, it is either theft or extreme stupidity/ignorance.

I still think it's not worth pursuing this further. But I have to disagree with banished and others who assert that fixedgear is in the wrong.
posted by brain_drain at 10:35 PM on May 14, 2006

Well, even IF, and it's a big IF, the kid stole the mower intentionally and knew it wasn't trash, it's still fixedgear's fault for leaving the mower out there by the curb unattended.

How much does a lawnmower cost these days, $100? $200? Would you leave $200 cash on your front lawn and expect it to be there the next day?

Given fixedgear's share of the blame, and due to the proximity of the mower to the curb, the kid has a damn good excuse, and unless something else happens, I would take his word for it and accept it as a mistake. I agree with the following...

"You got your mower back, and notified a parent, so no harm, no foul.

However, I agree with 517, ignoring it this time is being a good neighbor, but next time, it's a problem that needs to be handled."
posted by banished at 11:10 PM on May 14, 2006

In a lot of neighbourhoods, there isn't a sidewalk. The city owns three feet of boulevard/easement. So something left in these three feet may be construed as being left at the curb, even though it's still the lawn.
posted by acoutu at 11:14 PM on May 14, 2006

Nb. boulevard/easement only pertains to those specific neighbourhoods in specific cities, not necessarily all those around the world.
posted by acoutu at 11:15 PM on May 14, 2006

Well, even IF, and it's a big IF, the kid stole the mower intentionally and knew it wasn't trash, it's still fixedgear's fault for leaving the mower out there by the curb unattended.

Are you on drugs? Theft is not the victim's fault.

As for "big IF" a still warm mower sitting on a lawn after use is hardly tossed to the curb for disposal. The kid is either a moron or a thief. In either event there is something not right about this kid. The neighborly thing to do is give him the benefit of the doubt, which fixedgear did. Neighbor feuds can be bad news so since nothing was actually lost, it's best to wait and see whether junior causes more trouble before making a stink over it. Nevertheless, junior did wrong and if he had the cops called on him it would have been his own damn fault.
posted by caddis at 12:08 AM on May 15, 2006

Caddis... if you leave your keys in your car with the doors unlocked and someone steals your car, you're telling me it would be 100% not your fault that the car was stolen? Be reasonable.

If you leave valuable stuff near the curb, you're asking for it to be picked up.
posted by banished at 1:01 AM on May 15, 2006

Response by poster: Uh...just to clarify: I'm fully aware of the 'if it's in the trash it's fair game. rule' The last time I threw out an old (working) VCR I left the remote with it, complete with batteries, and put it on top of a trash can. Someone got the idea and took it. If I'm done with it you can have it. I'd never intentionally break something before throwing it away. I rescue complete working bikes from the trash and take them to Neighborhood Bike Works. I get the 'trash' part of it.

This was a mower with the engine still warm, smelling of that recently-been-run small engine smell of gas and oil, on my lawn. There aren't any sidewalks in my neighborhood, my grass runs right down to the curb and the street.

In a previous thread I was accused of living in a 'gated community' which could not be further from the truth. 'Suburbs' seems to ring alarm bells for a certain group of MeFites. It's a first-ring suburb - I could throw a rock from my house back in to Philly.

My township picks up trash at my house on Thursday, and fines people who put it out early. They don't pick up lawnmowers in any case. You are right, maybe it's unreasonable to expect a kid to know that.

According to some folks, if I want to stop in the middle of cutting my lawn on a hot day to go inside for a drink of water, I'd better put all my stuff away 'cause if it's out near the street it must be fair game. Good to know. In any case it's over, I got it back and maybe he did really think it was in the trash so I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
posted by fixedgear at 2:14 AM on May 15, 2006

Where I came from, people not only left their keys in the car, they left the cars running when they went into the store, sometimes for 15 to 20 minutes, so that the car would be either nice and warm on a cold day or nice and cool on a hot day. Failure to secure your property does not absolve the thief from blame - 100% the theif's fault, 0% the victim's fault. If the kid thought otherwise he probably deserves a little stint in jail for some re-education. Society wants people with those thoughts behind bars not walking around among us stealling our stuff. The only difference here is that there is a chance that the kid is just stupid, not villainous.
posted by caddis at 7:24 AM on May 15, 2006