Looking for advice on bidet toilet seats

December 29, 2023 9:36 AM

Bathroom issues with a close acquaintance are rapidly reaching a crisis point. This individual has multiple physical and mental challenges, and needs the simplest possible interface; one big red button to push would be ideal.

I'll spare you the gory details, but this situation has been going on far too long, and has reached the point where it's 'hire someone to wipe their butt', or head to the nursing home. (For the usual reasons, trying to put that off as long as possible.)

Don't want to say money's no object, but...compared to hiring someone to help with this, or the nursing home? yeah, they'll spend the money, and they're not without resources. Also probably worth mentioning, the parties involved (a caretaker and the patient, siblings) are incredibly stubborn; this idea has been floated for years, without the slightest interest in at least exploring this option.

The patient is very obese, starting to lose it a bit mentally (but is pretty capable at working the remote for the streaming services they consume 24/7). Comfort is paramount for them: heated water, blow drying, etc. (This will be professionally installed; I can help with programming the thing.)

Some questions / concern that have been expressed:

• How would the water jet actually get up in there? Is there, like, a targeting system? A spray all over?

• How would this work with the current handicap seat that fits over the existing seat (with the bars on the side, absolutely necessary). Maybe just get 'bolted to the floor' handicap bars installed?

• Can this be made simple enough to work for someone who seems to be rapidly losing the ability to absorb new things?

• Is there some entity that could help with this? The patient is involved with end of life care from various health care entities, I don't believe any of them have suggested a bidet to help this situation; maybe it doesn't work with their business model? I gotta believe this comes up all the time in situations like this. Who could we turn to for a turnkey, deluxe concierge to deal with this?

Any advice / observations / personal history dealing with this type of situation would be greatly appreciated. (Sorry for the rant, this has been going on for awhile...I'm looking to gather any advice I can get here and then just... back away.)

Thanks!

posted by Bron to Health & Fitness (7 answers total)

As a temporary measure, do you think this person has the dexterity to use something like this? They would need to fill it with water (or it could be kept full and within reach) and then maneuver and aim it at the relevant areas.

Another idea is flushable wet wipes or Tucks pads - these can get the job done more effectively than dry toilet paper.

I'm sorry this advice is a little off target, I hope it is helpful.
posted by prefpara at 10:08 AM on December 29, 2023

I can't speak to the bidet itself, but some resources for toileting in general, there are 2 occupational therapists on Instagram who are super helpful: EquipmeOT and ToiletTalkToMe. They both do a great job of de-stigmatizing adaptive equipment and showing random pieces that can be helpful.

EquipmeOT has a video where she shows how to install a bidet with a set of handles. Some of her other bathroom videos might be helpful, too. She has also highlighted a few wiping aids on her Amazon list. These can hold toilet paper and help you reach.
posted by hydra77 at 10:31 AM on December 29, 2023

An occupational therapist can help you find out if there is a bidet compatible with the seat, or a different, better solution. Ask any of teams already on board for a referral for an OT.
posted by DarlingBri at 10:31 AM on December 29, 2023

Unfortunately, the bidets with the comfort options (heating, drying, etc.) have more complicated interfaces to control the various features. Toto is generally the go-to brand for these types of bidets (example, not a recommendation), but they almost always replace the entire toilet seat and often aren't compatible with other toilet-mounted accessories (like an extender seat). You will need to have or install an electrical outlet near the toilet to use them. Even then, there is no such thing as a bidet with a targeting system. The user has to position their butt in the correct location for the spray head to reach it, or (for handheld bidets) they have to hold the spray head in the correct position.

In your shoes, a simpler bidet attachment (e.g. the Luxe Bidet Neo 120) may be more likely to be compatible with your existing aids and will have the simplest controls. You'll have to be content with cold water and no drying options, however. Slightly fancier versions that connect to a hot water supply exist with slightly more complicated controls.

Agreed with others that you might want to look at the problem from an accessibility standpoint first. Bidets can be an accessibility aid, but other options may exist that solve your problem better.
posted by Aleyn at 1:13 PM on December 29, 2023

I mean, our bidet does require fiddling with the buttons to get the nozzle correctly aimed, and set the temp you like for seat and water, but this only needs to be done once. He can set it and forget it. (Especially if he's the only bidet user.) You could get it set for him and then paint the on button with a red dot. It will wash automatically; the cycle is two minutes and stops automatically or if the person gets up. Drying is one other button, but it's not too hard to figure out that the woosh button means dry.

We have a uspa from costco. It's a toto knockoff.
posted by shadygrove at 5:25 PM on December 29, 2023

Thanks for the input; I'll pass this on to the interested parties. I'll update as things resolve, one way or the other.
posted by Bron at 6:52 AM on January 4

Well...this fairly quickly became a moot point, sad to say. I'm really not sure why the person involved didn't address their bathroom issues years ago, maybe just embarrassment? but their quality of life in their later years really suffered because of this. Thanks again for the answers.
posted by Bron at 9:21 AM on March 18