Loser

May 6, 2006 11:42 AM

How do I stop losing my things?

Over the past year or so I have developed a pretty serious problem with losing things that are very important to my day-to-day life (keys, wallet, cell phone, library books...). I am looking for advice on how to better keep track of my things. I generally lose things when I am out and about. I actively think about where my things are whenever I am out, but it only takes one slip up in thinking about it (engaged in conversation with a friend as I leave the table, or leaving in a rush because I am late for something else) to leave something behind. I think I lose things in two ways generally, either setting the object down somewhere or having it fall out of my pocket, which I partly blame on the tiny pockets of women's pants. I have tried carrying a bag, but this generally causes embarassment because every few minutes I have to shuffle through it in a panic to make sure I all of my important things are still in there and I might just leave the whole bag behind too. I'd really like to figure out a system for keeping track of my things, especially one that doesn't involve me stressing out about where they are all the time.

Any advice on how to better keep track of my things is much appreciated. Thanks!

posted by honeyx to grab bag (18 comments total)

I've found that having a place for things, where they always go is important. Get a nice, many-pocketed tote, briefcase or backpack, as is appropriate to your circumstances, and decide where everything goes in it. Use the same one as much of the time as possible - don't change bags day and evening, work and school, casual and formal. If possible, get something you can wrap around yourself - an over the shoulder harness or somesuch, so that you're never really not connected to it.

I have a long strap on my purse, which I hold between my knees when I sit down in restaurants, so I always know where it is, and that I still have it. For awhile, in college, I used to connect my bag to a belt loop by a small clip cord. It wasn't holding it, just keeping it attached to me, so if I got up and walked away, I'd notice if I left it behind.

Get in the habit of always using things and then putting them back immediately, even for small periods of time. I take my wallet out to get my credit card in stores or restaurants, then put it away again while I wait for the card to be returned, then get it out again to put the card away, and immediately put it back. This doesn't stop me from occasionally leaving the card behind, but at least I still have all of my other cards and ID with me.

I've now grown accustomed to how much my purse weighs, and I know exactly whether I've got everything (short of very small things like credit cards) like keys, wallet, glasses, etc, as soon as I stand up to go.
posted by jacquilynne at 12:03 PM on May 6, 2006

I've developed three habits to help me with this sort of thing. 1) at my house I have a specific place where my keys, wallet, watch, cellphone, etc., live. I drop everything there the instant I walk through the door. 2) I pat my pockets whenever I stand up to go to ensure I've got everything. 3) If I have to put something important down, I take my keys out and leave them with it, ensuring I won't forget it (since I won't get far without my keys).
posted by zanni at 12:05 PM on May 6, 2006

jacquilynne gives a lot of good advice. The only thing I would add is that you need to get into the habit of checking your surroundings every time you leave a place. Leaving a café? Glance at the table, the chair you were sitting on, and the floor around, before you leave.

I think it's easier to simply check "there is nothing in this environment that belongs to me" than to have to look through my entire bag and think about whether I brought my phone out with me today or not.

Also,

this generally causes embarassment because every few minutes I have to shuffle through it in a panic to make sure I all of my important things are still in there

I do this too, but I figure that the slight 'embarrassment' of checking through my bag every now and again is a lot less than the potential embarrassment of, for instance, going to pay for something and suddenly realising that I've lost my wallet.
posted by chrismear at 12:11 PM on May 6, 2006

Get a brightly colored wallet. My wallet is watermelon pink, and all it takes is a quick peek into my bag to see that it's there.
posted by invisible ink at 12:58 PM on May 6, 2006

I have the same problem. I was notorious for being late for a while because I'd always misplace my car keys. It wasn't that I got any more forgetful, it's that I became less aware. I'd get distracted and just drop my keys anyplace convenient as I answered the phone, read my email, opened mail etc.

I got a fist full of those NIB magnets and I stick my keys to the fridge now as well as anything else that I need to find quickly.
posted by substrate at 1:45 PM on May 6, 2006

How to Find Lost Objects was mentioned on Kevin Kelly's Cool Tools last week.
posted by Sharcho at 1:51 PM on May 6, 2006

Get a small bag with a strap that goes over your body. If you wear it enough, you'll feel unbalanced if you aren't wearing it.
posted by MadamM at 2:05 PM on May 6, 2006

I have a bowl in the house for wallet and keys. When I leave they go in my jacket pockets, if I'm wearing a jacket, on the same sides (keys in right, wallet in left). If I'm not wearing a jacket, they go in my messenger bag on the same sides in the big inside pockets. Other stuff I'm likely to carry (plane tickets, jump drive, work keys) have a slot ready for them, like tickets go in the flap pocket of my bag. Usually this means I only have to look on one side of my jacket or bag. I also have a chain wallet from back in my hipster days, but it means that 1) I can physically attach it to my bag so I don't ever lose it and 2) it's HUGE so it's easy to find in my bag. I don't keep anything in my pants pockets, even if I have pants with biggish pockets, because I can't really transfer where the things go, it's either jacket or bag. In the house it's either jacket, bag or bowl.
posted by jessamyn at 2:21 PM on May 6, 2006

This is apropos (though probably not helpful).
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 2:44 PM on May 6, 2006

If it's possible to lose something, I will find a way. I have one bag that goes with me everywhere and there is a specific spot in it for my iPod, bus pass, keys, cellphone, etc. If I ever move anything from the bag, I move it back AS SOON AS I GET HOME otherwise there will be great tragedy.

(My wallet is brightly colored, as mentioned above, and it helps.)

I highly recommend a distinctive bag - mine is red canvas and I bought it while living in a foreign country, so I am always sure that no one has the same bag. I bought my husband (who is as prone to losing things as I am) a small messenger bag for his birthday and it's changed his life. No more worries about "Where did it go?!"

It's crucial that the bag have compartments for small things, otherwise you will lose things INSIDE the bag.

The recommendation for a small bowl in your house is a good one as well, I've done similar things in the past. For me though, I just keep everything in my bag unless I'm using it.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:34 PM on May 6, 2006

The bag-within-a-bag method works pretty well for me. I carry ID/credit cards, cash, phone, keys, lipstick -- the things I always need -- in a screaming pink zippered case just big enough to hold them; that gets transferred to whatever larger bag I'm using. When I have to carry papers, I use bright plastic folders (stiff plastic, no rings) and big rubber bands, so I can overstuff -- a separate folder & color for each project. If I'm carrying books, those get rubber-banded to their project folders. (Sometimes I use small bungee cords -- I have to drag around lots of books.) If I'm doing reading or research at the library, I have another bag for pens, highlighters, post-its, copy cards, call slips, etc. I need to keep receipts so I have a specific zip-lock folder for those.

The rest of it is training yourself. Pick a place to put your keys (love the magnet & fridge idea) and the small bag and put them there every single time you walk in the door. Same with the folders, etc. At first, you'll have to consciously remind yourself but pretty soon, you'll do automatically.

Do an inventory as you load your bag and once more as you're standing at the door, ready to go out. As jacquilynne says, keep your bag in physical contact with you at all times. Check everything quickly before you leave a table or classroom or whatever. It doesn't matter if you're late; just tell yourself you'll waste even more time (plus money!) if you have forgotten something.

The impulse to paw through your bag every five seconds will go away pretty quickly. Anyway, isn't that a lot less embarrasing than strewing your belongings all over town?
posted by vetiver at 6:12 PM on May 6, 2006

Oh I can empathize so much with this! I've gotten so much worse at keeping track of all the little things in my life over the last couple years - I think I'm just too busy. Also I notice that I get even more scatter brained right before my period, although I have no clue why.

I mostly want to reinforce the advice to have a place for everything. I do this with my bag and it saves me so much stress. I used to change bags depending on occasion and constantly left things at home. I also used to keep my keys and bus pass in my jacket pocket but, yeah, constantly left the bus pass at home and lost my keys when they fell from my pocket. At home, we put a little end table right by the door. That's where keys, wallets, and watches go. (It's also a useful place to keep the lint roller to remove cat hair from clothing on the way out the door...)

I have a bad habit of leaving rechargeable electronics at home because I charge them, then forget to put them back in my bag. I solve this by putting my phone and mp3 player, still plugged into the wall, in my bag. Then when I grab the bag, my valuable personal electronic devices clatter to the floor, still leashed to the wall by their power cords. *sigh* Still, it beats being stuck on the train with no music or being late for an appointment with no way to contact anyone.
posted by jennyb at 6:16 PM on May 6, 2006

If you don't mind carrying the world's ugliest purse, get a fanny pack. When you snap it around your waist, it's attached to you and you can't absentmindedly leave it behind. Oh, and do not unhitch it from yourself anywhere outside your home, even in your car or a restaurant. Just sling it around to the side or wherever's the most comfortable, and console yourself with the thought that you'll never misplace your purse.

This should be your one and only everyday purse. (Evening bags are outside the scope of this suggestion.) Everything that goes outside with you on a daily basis LIVES in that fanny pack, and never leaves it for long. Nifty internal compartments are a big help, as mentioned upthread, but it's also crucial to put everything essential in the fanny pack because that's the only place it EVER goes. Get in the habit, and you'll never have to rummage around for stuff because it has no other plausible location. This system has helped me immensely.

For keys and wallets etc, I've thought about (but never actually done it) hooking them to retractable cords, like the kind used for employee ID badges and stuff. The spring/spool end would be attached inside the bag somehow. You pull the keys/whatever out of the bag, use them, and then they automatically snap back into the bag, or at least they try to. At worst, they'd dangle foolishly until you realize how dorky it looks, and put them back yourself.

This won't work for everything you carry around, but if you know that most of your important stuff is attached to your body via the fanny pack, you might be able to relax about those items, and just concentrate on keeping track of the other important stuff. Personally, if I feel like I have too much to keep track of, I'm more likely to lose something. If I only have 2 or 3 things to keep track of, I can handle it better. The tradeoff (look dorky; gain peace of mind) works for me, but I have zero fashion sense. YMMV.
posted by Quietgal at 6:17 PM on May 6, 2006

I use the "extremely loud smaller inner container" method for travel rather than everyday life, but I think it would work. When I was overseas, I had this stupidly bright hard plastic box that clicked together very, very tightly and it held my jewelry and anything else important that wasn't in my day bag. I never lost anything important in a strange place using that method. I highly recommend it.
posted by Medieval Maven at 7:03 PM on May 6, 2006

When I'm stressed, the losing keys gets much worse. It takes training to make some of this a reliable habit. I lost my keys this afternoon because they were in the correct spot, but had gotten shoved aside and covered with other stuff. So when I'm really stressed and having trouble making sure I get out the door with the right stuff, I put stuff in front of the door.

Keys live either in the door (going back out soon, safe neighborhood, which is good cause they've stayed there all night more than once) or on the newel(stair) post. That's the theory. They like to jump in the purse, jacket pocket or pants and hide there.

When they are misplaced, I try to take a deep breath, do no more than 2 laps around the house looking for them, then if they're not available take the spare set. The deep breath is critical. I've had the same keyring for @ 30 years. They've been misplaced for a couple months at least twice, but they turn up. One neighbor found them in the snow and didn't notice that the key said TOYOTA, and I drove the only TOYOTA in the shared drive.
posted by theora55 at 7:08 PM on May 6, 2006

To amend an oversight in my previous post, you can remove the fanny pack when you're at work, assuming you work in the same place every day, and you have a secure place to lock up your valuables. In this sense it's like being at home, since your bag will be safe and you will put it in the same desk drawer/cabinet/locker every time.
posted by Quietgal at 7:17 PM on May 6, 2006

Lots of good advice here which I won't bother repeating.

One thing that hasn't been mentioned which has been the single most important thing I've learned about how not to lose things is: Don't ever set anything down.

Now, that's a little bit of exaggeration there, but the point is this--if you're about to set something down, ask yourself "is this where this belongs?" If not, don't put it down.

Back in the days when gas caps weren't tethered to the cars, this is how my dad taught me to never lose the gas cap-- just don't set it down.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 8:51 PM on May 6, 2006

Thanks for the great advice everyone! I think I that I will try investing in a go-anywhere bag that I can wear comfortably all the time and probably a big, brightly colored wallet as well. I didn't really consider the possibility of my recent tendency to misplace things as being related to stress, but I think that might be a factor as well. So, maybe working on calming down and slowing down a little bit might help me out too.
Anyway, thanks again for the advice!
posted by honeyx at 5:32 PM on May 7, 2006