Quitting OCD - should I take the leap?

May 1, 2006 2:52 PM

My obsessive-compulsive disorder isn't disrupting my day-to-day living, but it's annoying as hell. Good news is that I feel like I'm on the verge of being able to make myself stop giving in to the compulsive urges -- should I give it a try? Has anyone else out there with OCD tried to take the leap and just "quit"?

Usually my OCD behaviors take the form of feeling that I need to do some small, meaningless thing (like picking up a glass with right hand as opposed to my left or taking four sips of water instead of five) in order to prevent some kind of terrible catastrophe from befalling me or those I care about. (Yes, I know it's totally irrational, that goes with the territory of OCD). I know that cognitive-behavioral therapy is recommended, but I feel like I'm on the verge of being able to stop responding to these weird fears myself. Problem is, a part of me really is afraid (of course) that something terrible will happen as a result of standing up to all of these fears at once. Has anyone else out there taken a similar "leap"? If so, how was it? More or less difficult than you imagined? Are you glad you did it? Have you been able to keep yourself from falling back into OCD habits?

posted by treepour to health & fitness (20 comments total)

I saw something on MTV's "True Life" where some young people underwent a therapy treatment to get "over" their OCD. And it appeared to be pretty successful.
posted by k8t at 2:59 PM on May 1, 2006

There are prescription drugs now which can help.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 3:01 PM on May 1, 2006

Why try and stop it all at once? Choose one thing and work to overcome it. Once you accomplish this, move on to the next obstacle.

I wish I could answer most of your questions, but my own OCD is minor compared to yours. The minor things I have overcome have been done as I mentioned above, but also with a firm insistence in my mind, "It doesn't matter!"
posted by Atreides at 3:15 PM on May 1, 2006

David Sedaris talks about exactly this in one of the stories in Naked.
posted by scody at 3:32 PM on May 1, 2006

There's a really good book called Brain Lock out there on ways to do exactly that. Good Luck.
posted by thebrokedown at 3:40 PM on May 1, 2006

Gene Wilder talks about this a little in his autobiography. He used to pray compulsively for forgiveness when he was younger. Basically, from what I remember, once he solved the underlying issue (that he felt unworthy of enjoying life when his mother had been ill for so much of hers) the compulsion went away on its own. Solving the underlying issue that triggers the compulsion would be the hard part, and where I imagine cognitive behavioral therapy would be very useful, but if you feel like you can stop your behaviors that may mean that you've already come to some kind of terms with whatever might have been underlying them.
posted by MsMolly at 4:50 PM on May 1, 2006

Problem is, a part of me really is afraid (of course) that something terrible will happen as a result of standing up to all of these fears at once.

It's this sentence that makes me wonder: why not just try the therapy? here's nothing morally superior about white-knuckling it through a tough problem. If you fear trying to stop the behaviors, that's a pretty good indication that you might need help stopping the behaviors.
posted by Miko at 5:59 PM on May 1, 2006

My nephew has OCD. Medication has helped dramatically. It's got a strong organic/biological basis; don't feel bad about trying meds if you need them. Think of all the stress you endure; you really deserve ot feel better.
posted by theora55 at 6:27 PM on May 1, 2006

My OCD is/was almost identical to yours, except I also had some prayer rituals I had to say in order that my parents wouldn't die in a car crash or something similar. I tried white-knuckling it but it didn't help, not when in my core I still believe that my loved one's livelihood depended on whether I flicked the lightswitch on an extra time. It's almost like an addiction - you crave the "fix" until you have no choice whether to give in or not.

Then when I got on an SSRI (Zoloft, now Lexapro) it all just melted away. I don't think in my case there was an "underlying problem" (although many hours were spent perusing my subconscious in order to excavate one) - or, rather, I I really think the "underlying problem" was just bad genes resulting in lazy serotonin.

I never tried cognitive behavioral therapy, although if you're averse to medication it might be an avenue to pursue. Good luck to you - OCD sucks so much. (I believe my e-mail is in my profile if you want to talk about this more).
posted by granted at 8:28 PM on May 1, 2006

I have a nearly identical story as granted - I'm currently taking Lexapro for OCD and it's helping immensely. I use to go to counselling, but now I just stick with the medication, because it's helping so much.

What Miko said is pretty much how I go about things. After many many nights of simply living in overwelming fear, I just got the medication and never looked back. I attempted to quit 'cold turkey' but it was just too overwelming. I just wanted to live my life, I didn't want to conciously think about what I shouldn't be doing.

So, my recommendation: Try going cold turkey for a little bit, if you see that its not helping at all (or barely at all), go see a therapist and get recommended for a psychologist.

Going from now to actually having medication in your hands (and then to when the medication actually kicks in) may be a month down the road, so keep that in mind. Honestly, SSRIs are incredibly low-impact, and you really have nothing to lose by taking them (IMO). As with granted, if you have any questions, drop me an email.
posted by jeresig at 8:40 PM on May 1, 2006

From my own experience, two suggestions: One, accept that the "worst case scenario" that you imagine can happen, and accept that you can deal with it. Once you give yourself the option to "let it happen", you may find you can walk away from the problem.

Second, if at all possible, remove the "trigger". Every time you obey the OCD impulse, it grows stronger. If you can remove the triggering event, you can give your brain a chance to "unlearn" the compulsive behavior.
posted by SPrintF at 8:53 PM on May 1, 2006

I sort of did what SPrintF did. When I was a kid, I was a "checker" (check that my alarm clock was set by getting out of bed 10 or 12 times, check that I'd locked my locker even though I had to walk half a mile back to school, check that I'd turned off the iron, etc.) I kept thinking, "I'm an intelligent person. Why am I doing these stupid things?" I started asking myself, "What's the worst thing that can happen if I don't check this?" I'll be late to school. Someone will steal my books. The house will burn down. And my mother will yell at me. When I figured out that everything I did was because I was afraid of what my mother would say, I then had only one problem to deal with. Just realize that sometimes "the worst thing that can happen" isn't what you think it is.
posted by Joleta at 9:40 PM on May 1, 2006

I know some people frown on the medication approach, but antidepressants helped me, just as some other posters have mentioned. And general therapy not directed towards the OCD, just my depression in general, has helped a lot too.

I used to believe if I didn't say my prayers exactly right, something horrible would happen. To a lesser extent, I was also very fearful about listening to songs with the word goodbye in them when a friend was mad at me or leaving. I never mentioned those things to my therapist (we were just always talking about other things), but since I am doing much better, those behaviors have pretty much stopped.
posted by IndigoRain at 9:53 PM on May 1, 2006

For a time, I suffered from the type of OCD known as "pure o," as well as some of the more well-known forms (hand washing, checking, etc.) Here are some thought habits that helped me :

Set a "no almost touch" rule

I used to wash my hands whenever I felt that I touched something that was "dirty." However, eventually I was washing my hands all the time, even when I didn't actually touch anything dirty. I would wash after I almost touched something dirty. Eventually, something clicked in my head, and I thought, "This is ridiculous! I didn't even touch anything!" So at that point, I set a "no almost touch" rule. I would only wash after actually touching something dirty.

For some reason, this really helped me. Sure, I was still washing a lot, but I had drawn a line - I would only let my neurosis proceed to a certain point.

Counterthoughts

This is actually a real psychological method, and I'm probably not going to do it justice with my explanation. Basically, what you want to do is sum up whatever you are worried about at the time. Think to yourself, "What am I *really* worried about here?" Then, take a step back and let your non-OCD mind have a look at the situation. Come up with a specific summary of why your fears are unfounded. Simplify this summary into a few sentences that you can tell yourself. Repeat it a few times in your head (but ONLY a few times) and then let it go. Whenever those fears return, recall these counterthoughts.

The Superstition Killer

Ok, so accept for the moment that picking up a glass of water can profoundly affect your future depending on what hand you use. However, how can you be so sure that you should use your left, and not your right? You can't be sure. Since the belief that the glass of water can profoundly affect your life is arbitrary, the decision of which hand to use is equally arbitrary. Since you have a 50% chance of being wrong, there's absolutely no reason at all to favor one hand over the other. You should just pick up the glass with whichever hand naturally reaches for it.

This can be applied to any and all forms of superstition. The act of knocking on wood can profoundly affect your fate? Why should one knock on it, then? Doesn't it make just as much sense to avoid knocking on wood at all costs?

Plus, engaging in the ritual part of OCD reinforces the worrying. By knocking on wood, you are conceding that the wood has some sort of power over you. In doing this, you are magnifying your own fear. This leads me to my final tip...

Anything you do as a result of paranoia, especially anything you do to alleviate the paranoia, will do nothing more then create more paranoia

It's a vicious cycle, it really is. Any ritual you perform to alleviate the worry only reinforces the idea that you need to perform rituals in order to alleviate the worry. This leads to more worry and more ritual, until you find a way to break the cycle.

*I also suggest seeing a good psychologist. However, be careful to pick a GOOD one. Make sure they've successfully treated OCD before.

* I'm not a psychologist, but one of my former psychologist's theories seemed to ring true for me - we develop OCD because we don't want to deal with the REAL problems in their lives. We invent a million imaginary problems that we know, deep down, aren't really problems.

* Don't ever let anyone tell you that you need to take drugs.

And remember, whatever you do - don't wash the soap!
posted by Jake Apathy at 12:13 AM on May 2, 2006 [1 favorite]

"problems in their lives" should read "problems in our lives"
posted by Jake Apathy at 12:15 AM on May 2, 2006

Like some of the previous comments, my OCD behavior was linked with the fear of what might happen if I failed to pray or follow certain routines.

I overcame these issues in two ways. I eventually was able to critcally anaylze my core religous beliefs and see that the beliefs themselves were irrational. Once I was able to say "I have no reason to believe this" about concepts such as god's existence, giving up the fear of not praying came easily. Instead of treating the symptom (my OCD routines), I was luckily able to realize the cause was more fundamental.

The other angle I approached this with was conciously making an effort to realize that there is no need to fear the death of myself or my loved ones. I think this fear is tied up with the idea of wanting reality to be different than it is. Giving up the fear of my own death was much easier, however. I'm sure I'll be very sad when my loved ones die, but I'll know that feeling sad about reality really makes no sense.

I recently had a chance to see these claims put to the test when my mom had brain surgery. While waiting in the ICU, I reflected on had this happened a few years ago, I would have been busily doing my routines and praying that my mom would survive. Instead, I realized that my mom would either survive or not, all that I could do was to make sure that I was there to encourage her when she was conscious.

These changes happened over the course of a year or so. So maybe there was something physically changing in my brain that caused these realizations to take hold.
posted by jsonic at 7:24 AM on May 2, 2006

Wow, it's been incredibly heartening learning that I'm not alone. Not that I didn't already know I wasn't alone -- but it's a huge relief to see it concretely.

Interesting to hear about the prayer rituals -- I do those too, even though I'd consider myself agnostic at most (they started in childhood). Argh!

I've tried various SSRI's throughout the past 10-15 years (Paxil, Celexa, Effexor, Zoloft), but I've never noticed a dramatic enough difference with them to justify the cost and the side effects (different with each). I'm still willing to try again if all else fails, but I want to exhaust other methods first.

It sounds like some of you have managed to talk/reason/discipline yourselves out of it, either with or without the assistance of therapy, so that gives me a lot of hope that I can do it too. Excellent points, too, about how the compulsion re-enforces the worry -- I kinda knew that but had forgotten it. And it's good to know that the SSRI's do work well for some.

Thanks so much, all!
posted by treepour at 9:07 AM on May 2, 2006

I've had much milder problems in the past - repetition, counting all spoken syllables with taps of my fingers (yes, I know - strange). And also problems with tics. Seems like when I could get them under control in one area, they would pop up somewhere else.
What helped me was treating it like an alcoholic or drug addict treats their addiction. I had to be aware of when I was entering the cycle to try to stop before it became uncontrollable. Realizing the difference between rational and irrational fear. The biggest help has been meditation - especially when I first feel the signs of anxiety/panic.
posted by JimBobNoPants at 9:16 AM on May 2, 2006

I dont have ocd personally, but i'm studying to be a therapist, and one of the major things they work with you on in CBT is trying to increase the time between wanting to do a compulsive act and doing it. so for example, my mom's doc told her that instead of going downstairs right away to check the door lock, wait five minutes. then go do it. try increasing your time periods until you can go all night without needing to check the door or flick the light etc. knowing that you can have even that much control is empowering. If you can wait five minutes without catastrophe, why not 24 hours?
posted by gilsonal at 7:29 PM on May 2, 2006 [1 favorite]

Great suggestion on increasing the time, gilsonal. I'm going to try that!
posted by treepour at 9:52 AM on May 3, 2006