What kind of retreat is right for me and what has worked for you?
September 11, 2022 4:36 PM   Subscribe

I've never been on any kind of paid retreat, but am considering it on the advice of a therapist. Can you help me figure out which kind of retreat would work for me: someone who very much wants to reconnect with other humans and my own body?

I went through a very damaging breakup in late 2019... and then covid happened. And I have spent almost three years in a lot of emotional turmoil, loneliness, and feelings of hopelessness in terms of connecting with people (and attempts at online dating have wrecked my feelings of hope and self-esteem even further).

So rather than continuing to stay in my small apartment alone and bang my head against the wall, I would like to go somewhere where I can focus on betterment. At the end of therapy last week my therapist said "try a retreat!" which sounded good. Then I realized I barely know what a retreat is or where to find a good one.

I'm not opposed to a retreat that is physical, that will get me in touch with my body after three years of down time. I am in my 40s, in average physical shape. I play soccer once a week. I run, but my stamina isn't great. I do yoga a couple times a week but I'm not super strong. I meditate when I can, but I don't think I'm good at it. I've had a few friends recommend silent meditative retreats and I really think in my mental condition, that is not a good idea. So I can't quite figure out what would be a fit for me.

Are there other retreats you've enjoyed where the locale is eye-opening, the emphasis is on self care and/or lower impact physical activity, and the socialization is really easy and positive?
posted by critzer to Health & Fitness (9 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
 
(What’s your budget? If it’s low, many state parks have cabins you can rent and basically leaving your phone off/behind, going hiking, enjoying a campfire etc may cover a lot of the bases you’re looking for- or at least that’s how I treat a lot of my camping).
posted by raccoon409 at 5:29 PM on September 11, 2022 [2 favorites]


I went to the type of retreat I think you're looking for. It was a gathering of women over a weekend to connect, set intentions for personal growth, do collaborative art and group therapy type activities. Unfortunately the facility where we did this is in financial crisis and probably shutting down but MeMail me if you want the name to see if they are offering any more before they shutter their doors.

Possible search terms: personal growth retreat, retreat for women (sorry if I am making a wrong assumption on gender identity), self development retreat, yoga retreat

Oh! Also an ayurveda retreat might do you well. I went to this place for a long weekend. There was yoga 2-3 times a day, excursions that they would recommend, fun packages (shirodara is so soothing and cosmic depending how you respond to float tank type experiences) and the hosting staff were able and willing to offer safe community if you're looking to connect vs turning inward.

There's also an annual yoga festival in a quaint small city that might be of interest. Although it might be a bigger crowd than you want, I heard this year they are only providing tickets for up to 300 people. I'm planning to attend this festival and working on cultivating more connection with other people so MeMail if you want details, and potential plans to connect irl.
posted by crunchy potato at 6:05 PM on September 11, 2022


I've heard good things about Kripalu but have never been myself--if you want to connect with others, you could join one of the programs (2-5 nights) for built in community/shared experience. Plenty of woo in this kind of thing, so be aware of that and do your research to make sure that the level is tolerable for you, if you go this route.
posted by rivenwanderer at 6:06 PM on September 11, 2022 [1 favorite]


I don't know where you are, but you might check out the Omega Institute or the Wiawaka Center for Women on the east coast.

If you're on the westcoast you might look into Breitenbush Hot Springs in Oregon.
posted by brookeb at 6:29 PM on September 11, 2022 [1 favorite]


have a look at the Esalen Schedule.
i haven't done these specific workshops, but the qi gong one and the 5 rhythms ones seemed up your alley. I have made great new friends there and gotten a lot out of it.

The location is indeed very special, and if you like soaking, there is possibly no better place.
posted by wowenthusiast at 8:25 PM on September 11, 2022


15 years ago I had a week with my partner and 2 sub-teens in Plum Village / Village des Pruniers in SW France at a "retreat for workers in the neurosciences". PV was/is head office for the Buddhist community founded by Thích Nhất Hạnh. Everyone gets assigned to a "family" of a dozen retreatants for the week who work together, meditate together under the guidance of a monastic: qi gong in the mist at dawn, walking mediation and helping with the catering is the limit of physical activity but the mindfulness is hard work. It was kinda magic even for an old skeptic like me. There are TNH/PV practice centres in 15 other places: US [CA, NY, MI] , DE, AU etc.
posted by BobTheScientist at 11:26 PM on September 11, 2022 [1 favorite]


The Omega Institute Has many weekend retreats. This one looks interesting to me for connecting with others in a no pressure way.
posted by waving at 9:11 AM on September 12, 2022


Does the focus need to be physical exercise, yoga etc or are you happy to do sit through some presentations and lectures, do garden and farm chores and probably build an epic compost heap while singing. Small apartment aside do you have any interest in gardening or sustainable living? I have a tangential suggestion for you.

If you can spare 2 weeks a permaculture design course (PDC) might be a great experience for you, learning about gardening, landscape design, community and ecological care, so I guess indirect self care. Depending on the lead teachers there may be more of a focus on self care and mental health but you will almost definitely eat great food, meet a diverse range of generally fine people and visit beautiful food producing gardens. Were you in Western Australia I would recommend Fair Harvest Permaculture's PDC but there should probably be some near where you live as it permaculture has a global community. In urban areas you would be able to follow up by meeting people in the community garden network.

If that piques your interest please feel free to message me about finding a course led by a reputable teacher near to you.
posted by pipstar at 9:26 AM on September 12, 2022 [1 favorite]


I don't have suggestions for specific schools, but a wilderness awareness or wildlife tracking week-long class is an option that involves personal/ emotional growth without being self-focused in the way meditation/ yoga/ spiritual retreats are.
posted by metasarah at 6:49 AM on September 14, 2022


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