Forget dry shampoo—how do I HYDRATE my hair between washes?

August 17, 2022 12:09 PM

How do I prevent my dry hair from drying out more in between washes? My hair doesn’t get greasy between washes—it actually gets drier and drier. My colourist strongly recommended I go as long as possible between washes. The most I’ve been able to do is 2 days between washes, and by Day 3 it’s a horrible dry tangled texture and my Type 2b waves go straight. The colouring has made it drier, yes, but it had already been quite dry for some time. (Thanks, perimenopause!)

I am trying very hard to only wash my hair every 2 days (wash on Day 1, no washing on Days 2 and 3, wash again on Day 4). Days 2 and 3 are shower cap days: I don’t rinse or condition my hair between washes because I’m not sure if it’s the water as well as the shampoo that does the fading, and I can’t seem to find any definitive info on that. Also tbh I am lazy, so I like not having to re-style my hair on Days 2 and 3.

On the days I do wash my hair, I use lukewarm water, a low-sulfate shampoo (The Ordinary), then either condition with The Ordinary or deep condition (Whole Blends Almond and Argan Mask), and I put on Davines’ Oi Oil to seal it afterwards. Occasionally I use a purple shampoo to keep the red and yellow tones at bay (my highlights are silver and I am naturally going grey), but I limit my use of it because it, too, is very drying.

Things I try to avoid in my shampoo, conditioner, and styling products:

• harsh sulfates—I’ve been told to avoid these because they can strip colour. Some sulfates are fine, for example I have The Ordinary shampoo and it has low enough sulfate content that it’s supposed to be colour safe.
• I avoid amo/dimethicone in my shampoo and conditioner because it coats my hair and eventually weighs it down, making it look dull and gross. Some silicones (especially water soluble ones) seem to be not so bad; my Oi Oil has some of a different kind that is fine.
• I avoid all proteins (they can be tricky to identify), because I am very prone to protein overload. This dries out my hair and makes it sticky, stiff and horrible, coating my hair and preventing moisture from getting in. This effect also happens with coconut oil, shea butter, and avocado. Most hair products (salon or otherwise) easily available to me in Canada seem to have at least one of these no-go ingredients, so shopping for, e.g., a leave-in conditioner is an exercise in frustration. I tried making my own leave in conditioner by diluting The Ordinary conditioner in a spray bottle with water. It was OK but still left my hair not that much more hydrated, and with a kind of unpleasant slick on it. Maybe I had my proportions wrong though.

So: have you found a way to keep your hair hydrated between washes? (And also, how bad is it REALLY to wash my coloured hair every other day?)

posted by hurdy gurdy girl to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (20 answers total)

There exist specialty hair oils - a small amount will spread around over time. I've had a hairdresser dab me once when I complained about dry/ itchy scalp (although I'm naturally greasy).
posted by porpoise at 12:26 PM on August 17, 2022

I've actually enjoyed various JVN Hair products. I have not used these Nourishing Shine Drops other than a bit on my dry ends (coloring my hair also, it's a hazard), but something like this may be the ticket.
posted by Medieval Maven at 12:39 PM on August 17, 2022

I shoot for the same amount of time between washes and putting this stuff on my ends helps enormously. It's also great for air-drying, it really smoothes things out. I love it! It's a little expensive but a jar lasts forever.
posted by cakelite at 12:51 PM on August 17, 2022

Definitely oil the ends. You can try it with a few drops of olive oil from the kitchen to start with, then experiment with others. Argan is very rich. Amla is traditionally used in India and good at hydrating. Rosehip oil has been good for me in particular. You can also try heavily oiling your hair and wrapping it in a warmed towel an hour before washing, it worked wonders for my hair when it was brittle from years of dye.

And then there's Olaplex, which is made for this issue, but much more expensive than olive oil...
posted by I claim sanctuary at 1:06 PM on August 17, 2022

I use Cantu Shea Butter Grow Strong on non wash days for moisture and I’ve found it to be really great for edges, baby hairs, and flyaways which get drier faster than the rest of my hair. It’s basically just shea butter, glycerin, and almond oil. A little goes a long way.

I have fine but lots of 1c hair just past shoulder length and I wash once a week. I used to wash twice a week and I remember when I was extending that, there was like a period of a couple months where my hair really had not gotten used to it yet.
posted by donut_princess at 1:15 PM on August 17, 2022

Also on preview I see you avoid proteins, which used to be an issue for me as well since it weighed down my hair. I found if I apply very sparingly with the Cantu on just the dry areas this is less of a problem.
posted by donut_princess at 1:21 PM on August 17, 2022

I basically never wash my hair because it's both curly and very processed, and tends to be dry as a bone. Do you add water to your hair on the days you don't wash it? Don't rise your hair, but do mist/spray it with water and then seal the water in with a tiny bit of your Oi Oil, or leave in conditioner applied with the praying hands method. Scrunch a little bit and let it dry. I'd do this on day 3.

I recently started using It's a 10 Coily, which does have avocado and coconut oil in it but doesn't make my hair sticky like when I use those oils on their own, but may be a total non-starter for you. I use this on dry hair on day 1 to scrunch out my gel cast, or day 3 or beyond to moisturize.
posted by assenav at 2:17 PM on August 17, 2022 [1 favorite]

I'm using the poor girl's Olaplex, L'oreal Elvive 8 Second Wonder Water Lamellar Hair Treatment, and it is BOMB.
posted by cyndigo at 2:31 PM on August 17, 2022 [1 favorite]

Have you ever tried just washing with conditioner - no shampoo? It's called co-washing. Textured and/or dry hair especially does well with co-washing. I have thick, curly, dry hair and co-washing works well for me, especially in the winter. I use hair oil as well but honestly it doesn't seem to help with moisture, it just keeps the frizz down.
posted by Stoof at 2:42 PM on August 17, 2022 [4 favorites]

To answer your question about color, washing with just water (or water + conditioner) causes some reduction in color, but way, way less than using shampoo, to the point where I mostly didn't worry about it when I dyed my hair (I also didn't mind the fading much, though).

One thing to note is that the natural oil production in your hair can take a while to change in response to different washing regimens — if you're changing something significant, it may take two or three weeks for your hair to reach a steady-state. That can make playing around with different approaches pretty slow.
posted by wesleyac at 3:48 PM on August 17, 2022

I only shampoo once a week - in between I use a conditioner-like cleansing cream that rinses out and makes my hair clean and very soft. It’s Davines Love Curl Cleansing cream and it’s incredibly luxurious. Other more affordable co-washing products might do as well.
posted by matildaben at 4:17 PM on August 17, 2022

Using less shampoo helps. You can get a plastic squirt bottle at the dollar store - the kind people decant mustard into - and use it to mix shampoo and water, maybe in a roughly 50-50 or even 25-75 ratio.

Shake it up and use the tip to apply a small amount of diluted shampoo all over your wet scalp.

Without piling all your hair on your head, use your fingers to lather only the scalp, then rinse. This way the bubbles run briefly down the length of your hair and remove the worst of any grease, but the suds don't stay on long enough to strip your hair and make it dry.

Then just store the squirt bottle of diluted shampoo in the shower to keep using it.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:06 PM on August 17, 2022 [1 favorite]

Jojoba oil (technically a wax) is very close to our own natural skin and scalp oil, and a few drops can go a long way to moisturize ends. A small bottle from NOW feels pricey to me at $15 but lasts quite a while.
posted by PaulaSchultz at 8:21 PM on August 17, 2022 [1 favorite]

I have similar problems, and I spent years trying different products. The most effective thing I've done involves putting oil or conditioner on my hair prior to shampooing, which I later switched out for honey (but aloe works too). This is in keeping with the nearly always excellent advice at the Sciencey Hair Blog. In fact, if you go to that same link you will notice she recommends oil in your conditioner for folks with low porosity hair.
posted by Violet Blue at 10:15 PM on August 17, 2022

When I had long (wavy/curly) hair I’d put coconut oil in it for moisture. I also eventually stopped using shampoo and just wetted it & combed it out really well in the shower to distribute any oil from my scalp to the ends.
posted by needs more cowbell at 3:40 AM on August 18, 2022

I use Bleach London hair elixir which is honestly lovely - really sorts my ends out overnight!
posted by london explorer girl at 3:44 AM on August 18, 2022

I also recommend cowashing with conditioner in lieu of shampoo. On wash days, cowash and then follow with conditioner, like you would with a "normal" shampoo. You can always swap in a proper shampoo every 3d or 4th week if you are build-up prone. The difference it makes is night and day for my dry hair. It's also relatively cheap and easy to trial--a lot of the cheaper Suave and VO5 conditioners are good candidates. The curly hair forum on reddit has a community product recommendation list that is helpful for ideas.

For dry hair days, I use the SEEN Magic Hair Serum to help with frizz and dry ends. For me, it works like a charm. It is not cheap, but you only use 3-4 drops at a time so it lasts.
posted by ailouros08 at 4:03 AM on August 18, 2022

For 2B hair, you need a small molecule oil. Olive oil, Shea, coconut, and other hair oil products meant for coarser and curlier hair isn't going to penetrate your hairshaft. Jojoba oil is the smallest molecule. Warm a few drop on your palms and smooth into your hair using 'praying hands' motions.

Olaplex is also really helpful. It's expensive but it lasts a long time.
posted by ananci at 6:29 AM on August 18, 2022 [2 favorites]

I like to use As I Am cowash instead, specifically the dry and itchy scalp care one is really good (I find it at Target). It makes a huge difference for my dry scalp and doesn't dry my hair out like shampoo does. I just use shampoo maybe once every 2 weeks to make sure I don't get build-up.
posted by Eyelash at 12:27 PM on August 18, 2022

Response by poster: Thanks for all the suggestions, folks!

I think I’m going to try co-washing on Day 3 (thank you wesleyac for your answer about whether it would really fade out my colour).

I do already use hair oil, and I’ll continue doing that. My understanding is it seals in the moisture. It definitely does help so I’ll continue doing that.

Thank you to ananci for the explanation of why coconut oil, shea butter etc. dry out my hair and why I need small molecule oil.

Violet Blue, I am going to peruse the Sciencey Hair Blog. I think I read it a long time ago and had kind of forgotten about its existence! I’m hoping it’s got some good suggestions for me.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:06 PM on August 18, 2022