How can I feel less negatively towards my upcoming job interview?
August 9, 2022 10:06 AM Subscribe
I suppose, before I applied for this position I really didn't realize how bad my self-esteem was with regards to jobs and interviewing. How can I develop a better attitude in the next 48 hours?
I've had such a difficult time preparing for this interview, I've squandered so much time. Because I've squandered so much time, can I even salvage myself before this interview on Thursday?
I've done a little bit of preparation here and there for it over the past few days. This afternoon, I'll be visiting the library in person to get a feel for it.
I thought I was finally *ready* to apply for other jobs after my previous one, but I guess not... I've been surprised at myself for how negative I feel about it all. I just wonder, what on earth DO I have that another candidate wouldn't have? There's truly nothing special about me. I also feel bad when I *do* start to prepare and get my hopes up, immediately I end up thinking "well, you probably won't get it anyway... so why bother?" I guess, even after my previous job, I just feel defeated.
The answers to the questions I asked last night here actually really helped me understand what a question like "why should we hire you" is looking for/how it should be answered. It was like a revelation! I have such a difficult time NOT viewing the interview process as some sort of justification for my value as a person
But, overall, I still feel like I just suck as a candidate. I'm not some superstar librarian. I'm average, at best.
I do have a therapy appointment booked for tomorrow (coincidentally), but what else can I do to feel *good* about this interview?
I've had such a difficult time preparing for this interview, I've squandered so much time. Because I've squandered so much time, can I even salvage myself before this interview on Thursday?
I've done a little bit of preparation here and there for it over the past few days. This afternoon, I'll be visiting the library in person to get a feel for it.
I thought I was finally *ready* to apply for other jobs after my previous one, but I guess not... I've been surprised at myself for how negative I feel about it all. I just wonder, what on earth DO I have that another candidate wouldn't have? There's truly nothing special about me. I also feel bad when I *do* start to prepare and get my hopes up, immediately I end up thinking "well, you probably won't get it anyway... so why bother?" I guess, even after my previous job, I just feel defeated.
The answers to the questions I asked last night here actually really helped me understand what a question like "why should we hire you" is looking for/how it should be answered. It was like a revelation! I have such a difficult time NOT viewing the interview process as some sort of justification for my value as a person
But, overall, I still feel like I just suck as a candidate. I'm not some superstar librarian. I'm average, at best.
I do have a therapy appointment booked for tomorrow (coincidentally), but what else can I do to feel *good* about this interview?
To some degree, an interview is an acting job. You don't have to feel good about any of it, you have to ACT like you care.
You say you are average. That means there are a lot of librarians with worse skill that have jobs. IF the below average ones can get and hold a job, you certainly deserve one. What always gave me confidence was the concept that half the doctors in America graduated in the bottom half of their class. With a life on the line, there are plenty of average or below average doctors. Being a librarian, while important, is not life or death.
If it were me, I would go in and assume the interview is for an acting job. You have to act like you think the best candidate would do or say. My guess is that if you look at it that way, one, you will find out that you don't have to act, that you are good at what you do, and two, that you will do well in the job interview.
It is a cliché, but, fake it til you make it.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:18 AM on August 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
You say you are average. That means there are a lot of librarians with worse skill that have jobs. IF the below average ones can get and hold a job, you certainly deserve one. What always gave me confidence was the concept that half the doctors in America graduated in the bottom half of their class. With a life on the line, there are plenty of average or below average doctors. Being a librarian, while important, is not life or death.
If it were me, I would go in and assume the interview is for an acting job. You have to act like you think the best candidate would do or say. My guess is that if you look at it that way, one, you will find out that you don't have to act, that you are good at what you do, and two, that you will do well in the job interview.
It is a cliché, but, fake it til you make it.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:18 AM on August 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
This is the last first interview (after that traumatic last job) you ever have to have! It will probably go better than you think, and reinforce your realization that you've been mistakenly building interviews up in your mind as an evaluation of your worth as a person. Or it will go worse, and you'll know WHAT you need to prepare for next time, instead of just furiously trying to make yourself a Superstar Librarian in a week. (They don't need a superstar librarian—they need a librarian, who is looking for a job, who is a good fit. If only superstars had jobs our economy would be either super horrible or a weird utopia.) But right now ALL the trauma from your last job is leaning hard hard hard on your feelings about this interview. The more space you get from it, the more practice you have in being open to new and non-horrible experiences connected to work, the easier it will be—not necessarily to ace an interview, but definitely to untangle your feelings about the interview from your feelings about the last job. But you can only get to the second interview after that traumatic job by having a first one! So do the best you can, and then the first one will be over, and the next one will be a tiny bit easier.
posted by babelfish at 10:22 AM on August 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by babelfish at 10:22 AM on August 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
You don't need to be a superstar! You just need two things: to be the candidate who meets their needs the best and to bring your particular good qualities.
For instance, maybe they are looking for someone who is really approachable and you are the most approachable candidate. Maybe they are looking for someone who wants a long-term position and the "superstar" is clearly looking to move on in a couple of years. Maybe you have a particular background with books or crafts or filing systems or working with underserved populations or relating to retirees and that is more important than having the degree from the best program or whatever.
Think about what you bring - and don't say that it's nothing! Everyone brings unique skills and experience, and no "superstar" can literally do everything.
Like, I'm an accountant...and I'm really bad at proofreading! This is not good for accountants. I mean, I do my best to compensate for my natural haste, but I'm not one of those naturally super-careful people. But I'm good at relating to people and I'm good at being patient and explaining processes. I am not a superstar, but I'm a good fit if you need someone who can walk someone through the steps needed to do something or explain a form. I'm good if you need someone approachable and conscientious about helping others. That's what I bring. Partnered with people with other skills, I'm good to have on your team.
You do bring things because of who you are and the experiences you've had, where you've worked, the populations you've worked with, the systems you know and like. There are absolutely jobs where you are the best candidate, even if you are up against someone who went to the world's fanciest library school and won lots of awards, because they will not be you.
posted by Frowner at 10:27 AM on August 9, 2022 [2 favorites]
For instance, maybe they are looking for someone who is really approachable and you are the most approachable candidate. Maybe they are looking for someone who wants a long-term position and the "superstar" is clearly looking to move on in a couple of years. Maybe you have a particular background with books or crafts or filing systems or working with underserved populations or relating to retirees and that is more important than having the degree from the best program or whatever.
Think about what you bring - and don't say that it's nothing! Everyone brings unique skills and experience, and no "superstar" can literally do everything.
Like, I'm an accountant...and I'm really bad at proofreading! This is not good for accountants. I mean, I do my best to compensate for my natural haste, but I'm not one of those naturally super-careful people. But I'm good at relating to people and I'm good at being patient and explaining processes. I am not a superstar, but I'm a good fit if you need someone who can walk someone through the steps needed to do something or explain a form. I'm good if you need someone approachable and conscientious about helping others. That's what I bring. Partnered with people with other skills, I'm good to have on your team.
You do bring things because of who you are and the experiences you've had, where you've worked, the populations you've worked with, the systems you know and like. There are absolutely jobs where you are the best candidate, even if you are up against someone who went to the world's fanciest library school and won lots of awards, because they will not be you.
posted by Frowner at 10:27 AM on August 9, 2022 [2 favorites]
So, number one, what do you have that another candidate doesn't? I don't know you, and I obviously don't know the other candidates, but the answers aren't necessarily on your resumes. I interviewed a couple of people for a position at my old company, and their resumes were pretty similar. HR pre-screened for basic competence so that we were only interviewing people who were qualified and we felt confident hiring, but when we actually talked to the candidates, it was shocking. One candidate was just... nice is the best word, she was really, really nice. You could tell she was nervous, but she had good energy. My co-interviewer and I actually got in trouble because we ran so far over our allotted time. The other candidate was... not so much. Kind of a neckbeard, mumbled a lot, didn't really give good answers even when he had the "right" answer. I got the sense that he'd rather have been somewhere else. We hired the first candidate. She quickly became the MVP of the team and has gotten promoted multiple times since then, and socially, we're all still friends. If we'd hired Neckbeard instead, it probably wouldn't have been disastrous - he was qualified - but who wants to work with someone like that? I know culture fit can be problematic, but when you interview, you're not just presenting your skills. You're presenting yourself as a potential co-worker, and maybe even a potential friend! Just be yourself. You're obviously smart and well-spoken, and obviously qualified. You don't have to be a superstar librarian; just be a slightly-above-baseline-competence librarian who other librarians like to be around, and who maybe has the potential to develop into a superstar with some good coaching.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:28 AM on August 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by kevinbelt at 10:28 AM on August 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
My usual plan of attack on interviews is easy for me because I'm a software consultant, but when I go into an interview I treat them like a customer and I'm the consultant, and the point of this conversation is to find out if I can help them with their problem, and also to find out if they're terrible to deal with and I don't want to work for them even if I think I could do the work.
I may very well see certain requirements in their written or discussed job description where I have experience and maybe even enthusiasm, and I like to pick those out and say so. There may be other requirements I'm less familiar with or only have a passing exposure, and for those I say so but explain how I think I can ramp up or at least name some resources for learning more.
Don't think of interviews as a pageant, and try as best you can to not think of them as life or death even though you may well need a job to survive. These aren't a measure of your value as a human, it's simply an attempt to see if you meet in agreement on what the job is and what you can legitimately (though with a little shiny polish) provide for them in return for money, benefits, and hopefully an agreeable job environment.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:33 AM on August 9, 2022 [7 favorites]
I may very well see certain requirements in their written or discussed job description where I have experience and maybe even enthusiasm, and I like to pick those out and say so. There may be other requirements I'm less familiar with or only have a passing exposure, and for those I say so but explain how I think I can ramp up or at least name some resources for learning more.
Don't think of interviews as a pageant, and try as best you can to not think of them as life or death even though you may well need a job to survive. These aren't a measure of your value as a human, it's simply an attempt to see if you meet in agreement on what the job is and what you can legitimately (though with a little shiny polish) provide for them in return for money, benefits, and hopefully an agreeable job environment.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:33 AM on August 9, 2022 [7 favorites]
I just managed a hiring committee for my replacement and, oh my god, so many people with perfectly good resumes DID NOT PREPARE AT ALL, like, didn’t understand what type of organization we were or what we actually did. You are a much better candidate than you think, because you are bothering to ask these questions.
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:53 AM on August 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:53 AM on August 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
Are you carrying any pain from previous jobs? Resentment about how you were treated, undervalued, negated etc? Time to cry that out so you can come to this job fresh.
If this resonates and you’re really short for time, meditate on opening up your heart and soak in healing love energy from the universe.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 11:06 AM on August 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
If this resonates and you’re really short for time, meditate on opening up your heart and soak in healing love energy from the universe.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 11:06 AM on August 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
great conversation +1
make a personal asset inventory; don't skimp. everything positive about yourself, work and otherwise.
posted by j_curiouser at 11:29 AM on August 9, 2022
make a personal asset inventory; don't skimp. everything positive about yourself, work and otherwise.
posted by j_curiouser at 11:29 AM on August 9, 2022
My usual plan of attack on interviews is easy for me because I'm a software consultant, but when I go into an interview I treat them like a customer and I'm the consultant, and the point of this conversation is to find out if I can help them with their problem, and also to find out if they're terrible to deal with and I don't want to work for them even if I think I could do the work.
I did the same consultancy thing (in a communications based job) and it absolutely got me the job.
My main advice is:
Start by creating an interview persona. This person is not you. It's a part you play in a piece called "The Successful Job Interview". If that person says things you'd feel ashamed to (because you'd feel preposterous and arrogant) that's ok. It's not really you. It's "The Good Interviewee".
This piece was not written by you, and the requirements of this role were not designed by you. Decades of interviewers have shaped this role. They came up with what a good interviewee should act like: Self confident, able to show how the company's needs match own capabilities etc. They in many ways care more that you know how to play the part than if the part is in the least like you!
So it's okay to lean into the part. Give your interview persona a good name and start scripting their replies to common questions.
Everyone does it, to an extent. We are all "The Good Interviewee" in the interview room.
And when I said "The Successful Interview" I urge you to consider your goal. You can't measure the success of an interview by whether you got the job. Bad interviewees have gotten jobs for all sorts of reasons. Good ones have not gotten a call back. You could do an amazing interview and not get the job, because someone else was better suited.
Your goal should be: I have gotten my reasons across to them of why they should hire me. And I now have a good idea of whether I want to work with them " . If you did that (even with room for improvement!) you did well.
Good luck!
posted by Omnomnom at 3:25 PM on August 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
I did the same consultancy thing (in a communications based job) and it absolutely got me the job.
My main advice is:
Start by creating an interview persona. This person is not you. It's a part you play in a piece called "The Successful Job Interview". If that person says things you'd feel ashamed to (because you'd feel preposterous and arrogant) that's ok. It's not really you. It's "The Good Interviewee".
This piece was not written by you, and the requirements of this role were not designed by you. Decades of interviewers have shaped this role. They came up with what a good interviewee should act like: Self confident, able to show how the company's needs match own capabilities etc. They in many ways care more that you know how to play the part than if the part is in the least like you!
So it's okay to lean into the part. Give your interview persona a good name and start scripting their replies to common questions.
Everyone does it, to an extent. We are all "The Good Interviewee" in the interview room.
And when I said "The Successful Interview" I urge you to consider your goal. You can't measure the success of an interview by whether you got the job. Bad interviewees have gotten jobs for all sorts of reasons. Good ones have not gotten a call back. You could do an amazing interview and not get the job, because someone else was better suited.
Your goal should be: I have gotten my reasons across to them of why they should hire me. And I now have a good idea of whether I want to work with them " . If you did that (even with room for improvement!) you did well.
Good luck!
posted by Omnomnom at 3:25 PM on August 9, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm not some superstar librarian. I'm average, at best
By a strange coincidence, the average librarian is also average. Like you.
Superstars can be a real pain in the ass. Sometimes you just want someone who will do a good consistent job.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:32 PM on August 9, 2022 [2 favorites]
By a strange coincidence, the average librarian is also average. Like you.
Superstars can be a real pain in the ass. Sometimes you just want someone who will do a good consistent job.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:32 PM on August 9, 2022 [2 favorites]
Turn the interview around and ask them questions about the company and job and figure out what they need help with most then tell them how you can solve whatever their problems are using your relevant skills and experience.
I've found that the earlier I take charge of the interview like that, the more likely I am to get the job. (And if the interviewer doesn't like my approach then oh boy would they dislike actually working with me, so it's for the best.)
Basically, approach the interview as if it's a free consult for the business, and leave them with some good ideas for how to do things better. Then it just makes sense to hire the person with the ideas to implement those ideas.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:57 AM on August 10, 2022 [2 favorites]
I've found that the earlier I take charge of the interview like that, the more likely I am to get the job. (And if the interviewer doesn't like my approach then oh boy would they dislike actually working with me, so it's for the best.)
Basically, approach the interview as if it's a free consult for the business, and leave them with some good ideas for how to do things better. Then it just makes sense to hire the person with the ideas to implement those ideas.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:57 AM on August 10, 2022 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Try thinking of it as preparing for a great conversation. You want to have some ideas on hand, a good idea of what they do (as much as you can tell from the outside), and you want to have your own career highlights at hand. The things you've done that you are proud of, the things where you effected change, the way your experience informs your decision-making etc.
You don't have to have the reason you're the best because there isn't that reason (sometimes it's a question people ask but I always take it as a way to add on to whatever we haven't covered in the interview organically.) You just need to know what you want to say about what's worked well, had success, etc.
Remember - and I know last time you went for it and got burned - you are also interviewing THEM. So if you say for example "what I like best is building a collection" and they say "we have no budget for that" well then, you both agree that this role won't include what you like best. If that means no match, it's okay.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:15 AM on August 9, 2022 [13 favorites]