media recommendations for an anxious, intense introvert
July 4, 2022 8:11 PM Subscribe
looking for books, movies, tv shows, etc that can help me feel seen
I am an introvert with anxiety who is also quite emotionally intense and generally serious. I’m struggling a lot with hating these characteristics of myself, even though I know intellectually that they are normal and not inherently bad. I used to absolutely love reading books, would basically inhale them, but as I’ve reached adulthood, I’ve stopped reading fiction and most of the other media I consume is either non-fiction or a lot more mindless. In an effort to re-humanize myself to myself, I’m looking for recommendations of media (books, tv shows, movies, etc) that feature characters that share some of these characteristics: introverted, serious, intense, big-hearted. Or books/tv shows/movies/etc that focus on self-acceptance, but not in a cheesy “love yourself!” kind of way but more of a realistic “I understand why it might be hard to believe this but you are fundamentally lovable” kind of way.
Optionally, I’d also like something that can help me laugh.
“The Idiot” by Elif Bautman is the closest thing I can think of that hits these criteria.
I am an introvert with anxiety who is also quite emotionally intense and generally serious. I’m struggling a lot with hating these characteristics of myself, even though I know intellectually that they are normal and not inherently bad. I used to absolutely love reading books, would basically inhale them, but as I’ve reached adulthood, I’ve stopped reading fiction and most of the other media I consume is either non-fiction or a lot more mindless. In an effort to re-humanize myself to myself, I’m looking for recommendations of media (books, tv shows, movies, etc) that feature characters that share some of these characteristics: introverted, serious, intense, big-hearted. Or books/tv shows/movies/etc that focus on self-acceptance, but not in a cheesy “love yourself!” kind of way but more of a realistic “I understand why it might be hard to believe this but you are fundamentally lovable” kind of way.
Optionally, I’d also like something that can help me laugh.
“The Idiot” by Elif Bautman is the closest thing I can think of that hits these criteria.
For movies: Columbus (2017) and Paterson (2016). I'll also vouch for Amelie, which is much more sweet and sincere than I think people expect it to be. Some others that I think are close: Her, Punch-Drunk Love, Lars & The Real Girl, and maybe Lost In Translation. And a longshot that might hit you just right: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 10:27 PM on July 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by forbiddencabinet at 10:27 PM on July 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
I enjoyed these two books and hope you do, too.
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine
Nothing to See Here
posted by Goblin Barbarian at 10:40 PM on July 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine
Nothing to See Here
posted by Goblin Barbarian at 10:40 PM on July 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
Normal People, both the book and the show
posted by Violet Hour at 11:20 PM on July 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Violet Hour at 11:20 PM on July 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
A few book suggestions:
If fantasy is of any interest, Barbara Hambly writes good introverts. I'd single out The Silent Tower and The Silicon Mage in particular (a tight duology, to be read in that order).
In science fiction, I would try Planetfall, by Emma Newman.
Moving away from genre fiction, Penelope Lively's characters are often highly introspective; I think you could pick up pretty much anything of hers that appealed and find some of what you're looking for. Sarah Moss might hit the mark too; I certainly feel at home in her characters' heads.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 2:41 AM on July 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
If fantasy is of any interest, Barbara Hambly writes good introverts. I'd single out The Silent Tower and The Silicon Mage in particular (a tight duology, to be read in that order).
In science fiction, I would try Planetfall, by Emma Newman.
Moving away from genre fiction, Penelope Lively's characters are often highly introspective; I think you could pick up pretty much anything of hers that appealed and find some of what you're looking for. Sarah Moss might hit the mark too; I certainly feel at home in her characters' heads.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 2:41 AM on July 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
"A Memory Called Empire" by Arkady Martine is about a serious, emotionally-intense, anxious introvert who is sent by her very small nation as an ambassador to the enormous expansionary empire that is lapping at their borders, both culturally and militarily. It's science fiction but it's really about people and the Big Feelings of loyalty, beauty, and (not) belonging.
posted by heatherlogan at 5:53 AM on July 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by heatherlogan at 5:53 AM on July 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
Huge +1 for The Goblin Emperor. Besides being exactly what you're looking for, it's just a goddamn delight. You might also enjoy the Murderbot series. Murderbot is coded as autistic, so it's not exactly the same thing as what you're asking for, but I still think you'd find a lot to like in there.
Oh, for TV, check out Detectorists.
posted by Ragged Richard at 6:36 AM on July 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
Oh, for TV, check out Detectorists.
posted by Ragged Richard at 6:36 AM on July 5, 2022 [6 favorites]
Came to recommend Murderbot, so I’ll second it. The title put me off for the longest time, but that was my mistake. It’s wonderful and your question could have been asked by the titular character who is figuring out how to be a person they like while being true to themselves—and an introvert. And it will make you laugh.
posted by Ookseer at 6:58 AM on July 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Ookseer at 6:58 AM on July 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
This becomes a larger part of the show, but The Good Place has an overly-serious character who comes to terms with his strengths and weaknesses.
posted by crossswords at 8:06 AM on July 5, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by crossswords at 8:06 AM on July 5, 2022 [4 favorites]
I love the Netflix series Sex Education—the characters have some growing to do throughout the run of the show, but it is quite affirming that it’s okay to be the way you are, including serious and intense.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 8:53 AM on July 5, 2022
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 8:53 AM on July 5, 2022
Ooh I love this question!
I would add:
Shadow & Bone and the 2 sequels (amazing main character, is YA so YMMV but I didn't think I'd like these books and I ended up loving them.)
Lars & the Real Girl is a great suggestion, a beautiful film
Untamed Heart is a 90s movie about a very introverted young man, it's one of my favorite movies ever
posted by fairlynearlyready at 8:23 AM on July 6, 2022
I would add:
Shadow & Bone and the 2 sequels (amazing main character, is YA so YMMV but I didn't think I'd like these books and I ended up loving them.)
Lars & the Real Girl is a great suggestion, a beautiful film
Untamed Heart is a 90s movie about a very introverted young man, it's one of my favorite movies ever
posted by fairlynearlyready at 8:23 AM on July 6, 2022
Just came in to mention that in many Korean dramas one or more of the main characters are introverted. For example Captain Ri in "Crash Landing on You" (warning: Korean dramas can be addicting...)
posted by mirileh at 12:06 PM on July 6, 2022
posted by mirileh at 12:06 PM on July 6, 2022
One that hasn't been mentioned yet is Fangirl, by Rainbow Rowell. It's about an introverted fanfiction writer with social anxiety going off to college. A warning though: I find the anxiety in this book so visceral that I can't read it if I'm feeling at all anxious myself.
But also read Murderbot, and you may like various books by Becky Chambers - I'm thinking start with "a psalm for the wild built"
posted by elizabot at 1:05 PM on July 6, 2022
But also read Murderbot, and you may like various books by Becky Chambers - I'm thinking start with "a psalm for the wild built"
posted by elizabot at 1:05 PM on July 6, 2022
Just a head's up that the sequel to Elif Batuman's "The Idiot" just came out - it's called "Either/Or"
posted by nightcoast at 1:34 PM on July 9, 2022
posted by nightcoast at 1:34 PM on July 9, 2022
« Older Stress & anxiety from enforcing boundaries --... | Text editor or IDE with SFTP folders in a sidebar? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
For a lovely bit of light and color, watch Amelie. She isn’t serious, but she is all the other things.
The IT crowd is a longtime favorite of mine. The character of Moss is amazing, absolutely husband material. It has some very shitty stuff about trans women and a bunch of gendered nonsense about the main female character but the rest of it is so damn funny and charming.
If you’d like a cartoon, Gravity Falls is about a fairly introverted and serious young boy and his twin sister who is an outgoing bubbly delight, solving mysteries and fighting demons and overcoming the apocalypse. There’s some other twists that include other wonderful introverted protagonists that I won’t spoil for you. Lots of jokes and magic and puns and weird stuff, but also a lot of cool messages about being yourself, trusting your gut, taking people seriously, the power of empathy, etc.
Katherine Addison’s The Goblin Emperor is a recommendation from my friend. He also suggests all of the Earthsea books, although it’s been a a while, but I recommend them just for being good to read regardless.
posted by Mizu at 10:14 PM on July 4, 2022 [3 favorites]