Help me text my kid ridiculous things
June 16, 2022 3:40 PM Subscribe
I want to text my kid something ridiculous every day. Help me!
At long last, my almost teenager Kid theBRKP has a phone. As a joke I said that I was going to text them something ridiculous every day to annoy them. Instead of cringing, kid has accepted it as a challenge.
So help me hive mind. I need ideas for ridiculous things to text to my kid. The more absurd, the better. Photos, quotes, facts... on pretty much any subject.
At long last, my almost teenager Kid theBRKP has a phone. As a joke I said that I was going to text them something ridiculous every day to annoy them. Instead of cringing, kid has accepted it as a challenge.
So help me hive mind. I need ideas for ridiculous things to text to my kid. The more absurd, the better. Photos, quotes, facts... on pretty much any subject.
Poetry and/or doggerel by Ogden Nash should do the trick.
posted by scratch at 3:57 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by scratch at 3:57 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Get a junky little toy (the plastic miniature animals that are sold in tubes are fantastic for this) and take a pic every day of the toy in weird places/situations. At the grocery store? Zebra on a macaroni box. Etc.
posted by phunniemee at 3:58 PM on June 16, 2022 [18 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 3:58 PM on June 16, 2022 [18 favorites]
Let him know you have a joke for him about ceilings. But it's probably over his head.
Also, I once saw a magician turn a car into a driveway!
posted by SPrintF at 4:01 PM on June 16, 2022 [7 favorites]
Also, I once saw a magician turn a car into a driveway!
posted by SPrintF at 4:01 PM on June 16, 2022 [7 favorites]
Words and language: Haggard Hawks
Paddington Photoshopped into movies
TYWKIWDBI, Humor
Puns
Mental Floss's Amazing Fact Generator
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:02 PM on June 16, 2022 [4 favorites]
Paddington Photoshopped into movies
TYWKIWDBI, Humor
Puns
Mental Floss's Amazing Fact Generator
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:02 PM on June 16, 2022 [4 favorites]
There may be useful ideas in this recent thread about nonsense that can be shared with 8th-9th graders: Nonsense wanted--all media.
posted by Wobbuffet at 4:03 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Wobbuffet at 4:03 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
Word plays and puns are fun. Here's on heard last night....
What do you call and short nap before you go to bed? A snorederves.
I'll see myself out now
posted by kathrynm at 4:26 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
What do you call and short nap before you go to bed? A snorederves.
I'll see myself out now
posted by kathrynm at 4:26 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
I often text people ridiculous gifs. Just open the gif search bar and type in a few random phrases.
posted by chbrooks at 4:56 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by chbrooks at 4:56 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
Liz Climo comics
Nathan Pyle comics
posted by the primroses were over at 5:06 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
Nathan Pyle comics
posted by the primroses were over at 5:06 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
Sometimes my mother in law and I text each other weird random strings of emojis and that always cracks me up. A good chance to use obscure emojis you never would use otherwise!
posted by mostly vowels at 5:08 PM on June 16, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by mostly vowels at 5:08 PM on June 16, 2022 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I follow stuff in Instagram just for this purpose. Nerdy stuff for one, rugby for the other. And a few funny accounts. They both have accounts so I have a chat with each one, one for both of them.
I also send stuff that matters too. Things that emphasize stuff we've talked about.
posted by Ftsqg at 5:52 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
I also send stuff that matters too. Things that emphasize stuff we've talked about.
posted by Ftsqg at 5:52 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
Days of the Year has all those stupid "national whatever day" listings. Today, for example, is National Fudge Day. The jokes write themselves.
posted by adamrice at 5:56 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by adamrice at 5:56 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
My friend and I try to find emojis to express obscure concepts or inside jokes without using words. We also enjoy using this face randomly, it’s not original at all but somehow it’s always funny
👁👄👁
Feels so naughty using emojis on MeFi!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:00 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
👁👄👁
Feels so naughty using emojis on MeFi!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:00 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
One of my humor links I saved was this one on "Profound Jokes" (which, of course, could also be considered ridiculous).
Here's a short one to give you the idea:
A boy and a man sit on a couch together. The boy says to the man, "Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age either."
Also, this xkcd comic is somewhat ridiculous, but you have to think about it for a little to realize why.
posted by forthright at 7:06 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
Here's a short one to give you the idea:
A boy and a man sit on a couch together. The boy says to the man, "Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age either."
Also, this xkcd comic is somewhat ridiculous, but you have to think about it for a little to realize why.
posted by forthright at 7:06 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
If your kid has any familiarity with newspaper comics, there’s a weird community surrounding mutating Heathcliff comics on Twitter, for example: https://twitter.com/heathcliffhelms?s=21&t=2D4q0xiwp09NwLzld1mYZA
https://twitter.com/heathcliffai?s=21&t=en1LThyryHdeZ7j3RpKyyQ
I torment my own kids and nieces with these.
posted by chr1sb0y at 7:20 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
https://twitter.com/heathcliffai?s=21&t=en1LThyryHdeZ7j3RpKyyQ
I torment my own kids and nieces with these.
posted by chr1sb0y at 7:20 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
You can text +1 (833) 724-8398 for a squid facts hotline
Screenshots of AI-generated images from eccentric prompts if there’s not too much traffic
Turn on predictive texting and write absurd messages one suggested word at a time
Use emoji as letters to spell out words
HELLO is ♓️📧🛴💷🅾️
If iPhone, send big bug emoji with effects (send 3 oddly spaced spiders with echo)
Emoji outfits
🤠
👕
👖
🥾🥾
Silly face selfies
Voice messages of greetings in silly accents (could be text written in different styles or genres; ham it up and be over the top) or pretend voicemails with ridiculous continued narrative
For the cringe factor, Urban Dictionary word of the day
Public Domain Review
Weird Medieval
To add extra parental annoyance, open/close each text with “Hi Kid, this is Parent … Love, Parent” as if they don’t already know it’s you
posted by eyeball at 7:47 PM on June 16, 2022 [4 favorites]
Screenshots of AI-generated images from eccentric prompts if there’s not too much traffic
Turn on predictive texting and write absurd messages one suggested word at a time
Use emoji as letters to spell out words
HELLO is ♓️📧🛴💷🅾️
If iPhone, send big bug emoji with effects (send 3 oddly spaced spiders with echo)
Emoji outfits
🤠
👕
👖
🥾🥾
Silly face selfies
Voice messages of greetings in silly accents (could be text written in different styles or genres; ham it up and be over the top) or pretend voicemails with ridiculous continued narrative
For the cringe factor, Urban Dictionary word of the day
Public Domain Review
Weird Medieval
To add extra parental annoyance, open/close each text with “Hi Kid, this is Parent … Love, Parent” as if they don’t already know it’s you
posted by eyeball at 7:47 PM on June 16, 2022 [4 favorites]
Inspirobot generates random "inspirational" quotes paired with images. Most of them almost but not quite make sense.
Or how about a link to a video of a ridiculous song? Some suggestions:
My Father Loves Nikita Kruschev - Makem and Clancy
William Tell Overture - Spike Jones
The Window - Trout Fishing in America
Particle Man - They Might Be Giants
posted by Redstart at 8:21 PM on June 16, 2022
Or how about a link to a video of a ridiculous song? Some suggestions:
My Father Loves Nikita Kruschev - Makem and Clancy
William Tell Overture - Spike Jones
The Window - Trout Fishing in America
Particle Man - They Might Be Giants
posted by Redstart at 8:21 PM on June 16, 2022
Zippy the Pinhead quotation database from emacs. The original, not-neutered one.
posted by sourcequench at 8:40 PM on June 16, 2022
posted by sourcequench at 8:40 PM on June 16, 2022
Get a junky little toy (the plastic miniature animals that are sold in tubes are fantastic for this) and take a pic every day of the toy in weird places/situations.
When I moved from SF to Portland, Oregon it included a road trip up the west coast, a month of travel to see family and multiple short trips to Portland. I brought a President Obama action figure with me and posted updates on FB. I did everything from Obama's perspective.
posted by bendy at 9:00 PM on June 16, 2022
When I moved from SF to Portland, Oregon it included a road trip up the west coast, a month of travel to see family and multiple short trips to Portland. I brought a President Obama action figure with me and posted updates on FB. I did everything from Obama's perspective.
posted by bendy at 9:00 PM on June 16, 2022
For an interactive gambit:
POP QUIZ, KID
DOES IT FART?!
[name an animal]
Source for animal names and biological details
Similar silly quizzes (with legit-sourced, factual answers!) could make history/science both friendly/fun and relatable. Did you know that [famous human that we admire for values our family holds] was an avid [delightful hobby that kiddo can relate to]?! Photos of Nobel Peace Prize winners with their pets! Etc.
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 9:29 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
POP QUIZ, KID
DOES IT FART?!
[name an animal]
Source for animal names and biological details
Similar silly quizzes (with legit-sourced, factual answers!) could make history/science both friendly/fun and relatable. Did you know that [famous human that we admire for values our family holds] was an avid [delightful hobby that kiddo can relate to]?! Photos of Nobel Peace Prize winners with their pets! Etc.
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 9:29 PM on June 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
"Fart."
posted by markbrendanawitzmissesus at 10:47 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by markbrendanawitzmissesus at 10:47 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
Names We Didn't Give You, part 1
posted by amtho at 10:52 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by amtho at 10:52 PM on June 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
Any of these gifs should do: skelly & infomercial. I'm particularly fond of the skeleton feeding Cheetos to the Roomba.
posted by snusmumrik at 2:11 AM on June 17, 2022
posted by snusmumrik at 2:11 AM on June 17, 2022
Here is a link to my Pinterest "Funny" page. I've been collecting ridiculous things for years.
posted by BoscosMom at 2:42 AM on June 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by BoscosMom at 2:42 AM on June 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
All of Finnegans Wake in order, a few sentences a day.
posted by slkinsey at 4:22 AM on June 17, 2022
posted by slkinsey at 4:22 AM on June 17, 2022
Narration:
A picture of your shoe with the the caption "This is my shoe"
A picture of a thumb with "This is what we used to call a thumbnail."
A text with "My phone rang. Was it you?"
A text with "I just put laundry in the washer."
"My grocery list includes milk, bananas, and peanut butter."
Basically narrating your day like you would to a toddler about how the world works.
posted by Ms Vegetable at 5:19 AM on June 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
A picture of your shoe with the the caption "This is my shoe"
A picture of a thumb with "This is what we used to call a thumbnail."
A text with "My phone rang. Was it you?"
A text with "I just put laundry in the washer."
"My grocery list includes milk, bananas, and peanut butter."
Basically narrating your day like you would to a toddler about how the world works.
posted by Ms Vegetable at 5:19 AM on June 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Best answer: "it is X minutes and XX seconds since I sent you my last text." Repeat.
posted by Mchelly at 2:51 PM on June 17, 2022
posted by Mchelly at 2:51 PM on June 17, 2022
Be kind to your web-footed friends
For a duck may be somebody’s mother, etc. Repeat!
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:43 PM on June 17, 2022
For a duck may be somebody’s mother, etc. Repeat!
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:43 PM on June 17, 2022
Far Side cartoons
Bad Lipreading on YouTube (funny takes on videos - see Russian Unicorn)
Limericks
posted by Enid Lareg at 6:29 PM on June 17, 2022
Bad Lipreading on YouTube (funny takes on videos - see Russian Unicorn)
Limericks
posted by Enid Lareg at 6:29 PM on June 17, 2022
Response by poster: Every single one of you is awesome. I now have material for YEARS. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 3:59 AM on June 18, 2022
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 3:59 AM on June 18, 2022
How did I forget "This is the song that never ends"?
posted by Ms Vegetable at 1:10 PM on June 23, 2022
posted by Ms Vegetable at 1:10 PM on June 23, 2022
« Older Looking for examples of comically inefficient... | Resume formatting / wording assistance... ? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by carmicha at 3:56 PM on June 16, 2022