How to move to a new neighborhood (kind of)
April 3, 2022 4:42 PM Subscribe
If you were really, deeply, maybe weirdly attached to your very specific street/neighborhood, how did you convince yourself to move (a few blocks) away, and how do you feel about it now?
I have lived on the same block for many many years. Now we are considering moving to a bigger place, but we're really struggling with the thought of moving away -- and to be clear, we are only looking within a one-mile radius of our current apartment. It's not like we'll never be able to go to these places again. But like, the thought of having to go to a new corner bar/coffee shop/liquor store? Outrageous! I feel so accustomed to the rhythm of life on this specific block. I know all the business owners. I have my walking route and my jogging route. I know every alley. But there's nothing for sale here, and historically, there might not be for literally years. (but what if we bought somewhere else and then something DID come on the market here??? would I expire????) I believe with my whole heart that I live on the best block in the United States. Is this rational? Maybe not! But I can't be the only person who's ever felt that way and still moved away.
It doesn't help that the places we've looked at are in objectively worse locations -- further from parks, transit, shops, etc. (although not by much because...they're less than a mile away). We are accustomed to walking everywhere and some of these places, while still walkable in the scheme of the US, would require at least 20% more driving for daily tasks. But these apartments are lovely and objectively much better suited to us than where we live now.
So: how do we weigh our desire to never leave this block against our desire to live in a space that suits our needs? Or: if you picked house over location, were you mad about it later?
I have lived on the same block for many many years. Now we are considering moving to a bigger place, but we're really struggling with the thought of moving away -- and to be clear, we are only looking within a one-mile radius of our current apartment. It's not like we'll never be able to go to these places again. But like, the thought of having to go to a new corner bar/coffee shop/liquor store? Outrageous! I feel so accustomed to the rhythm of life on this specific block. I know all the business owners. I have my walking route and my jogging route. I know every alley. But there's nothing for sale here, and historically, there might not be for literally years. (but what if we bought somewhere else and then something DID come on the market here??? would I expire????) I believe with my whole heart that I live on the best block in the United States. Is this rational? Maybe not! But I can't be the only person who's ever felt that way and still moved away.
It doesn't help that the places we've looked at are in objectively worse locations -- further from parks, transit, shops, etc. (although not by much because...they're less than a mile away). We are accustomed to walking everywhere and some of these places, while still walkable in the scheme of the US, would require at least 20% more driving for daily tasks. But these apartments are lovely and objectively much better suited to us than where we live now.
So: how do we weigh our desire to never leave this block against our desire to live in a space that suits our needs? Or: if you picked house over location, were you mad about it later?
Um...this is why I haven't moved at all. I've considered moving to somewhere within the neighborhood, but the deal I have here is still cheaper than moving. I also prioritize location/convenience over size, so there's that as well.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:09 AM on April 4, 2022
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:09 AM on April 4, 2022
LOL well, I might have a completely different update in a few months but I just today, like half an hour ago, agreed to move out of the neighborhood I've lived in for 15 years. The decision has been a couple weeks in the making and when I saw this question I was like...I better put a pin on that one.
Like you all of my reasons for moving are objective. I need a home office space, because I'm now permanently WFH. I need wiring that is up to code and a kitchen that is less than 50 years old. I cannot even BEGIN to afford either of those things on my current block, they would cost almost twice my current rent. Apart from that, I need to be near the commuter rail because I have to visit my elderly mom out of town frequently. I want to live closer to my partner.
All of this, very practical. But nonetheless, it breaks my heart. Honestly, it breaks my heart to leave my apartment, even though I don't like it very much! Places become ours and they remain ours even when they're imperfect. They're not that different from an incompatible partner that you still love, really.
So that's kind of how I'm approaching it: as a "we've just grown apart" kind of breakup. I'm no longer 26 and using my tiny apartment as a crash pad; the neighborhood is no longer a slightly down-at-heel enclave of genteel poverty. Just like a breakup, I'll probably fail at No Contact and keep going to my old gym and dry cleaner for awhile. I'll mope and try to assuage my grief with impulse purchases (of furniture and curtains, instead of clothes and haircuts).
And eventually the new place will be every bit as much mine as the old one was.
Like...probably.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 2:55 PM on April 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
Like you all of my reasons for moving are objective. I need a home office space, because I'm now permanently WFH. I need wiring that is up to code and a kitchen that is less than 50 years old. I cannot even BEGIN to afford either of those things on my current block, they would cost almost twice my current rent. Apart from that, I need to be near the commuter rail because I have to visit my elderly mom out of town frequently. I want to live closer to my partner.
All of this, very practical. But nonetheless, it breaks my heart. Honestly, it breaks my heart to leave my apartment, even though I don't like it very much! Places become ours and they remain ours even when they're imperfect. They're not that different from an incompatible partner that you still love, really.
So that's kind of how I'm approaching it: as a "we've just grown apart" kind of breakup. I'm no longer 26 and using my tiny apartment as a crash pad; the neighborhood is no longer a slightly down-at-heel enclave of genteel poverty. Just like a breakup, I'll probably fail at No Contact and keep going to my old gym and dry cleaner for awhile. I'll mope and try to assuage my grief with impulse purchases (of furniture and curtains, instead of clothes and haircuts).
And eventually the new place will be every bit as much mine as the old one was.
Like...probably.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 2:55 PM on April 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
I picked house over location in my last move, and have not regretted it. The new house/yard itself is a hobby of sorts, and for me that's been an acceptable substitute for having My Places at hand. (It helped that it was pandemic, so I wasn't going a lot of places anyway.) I still do go back to the old places fairly regularly, because I didn't move all that far away.
The move before that, I rented a truck and put under two miles on it, with multiple trips and to/from the rental place. So I definitely get staying in the neighborhood!
posted by mersen at 3:34 PM on April 4, 2022
The move before that, I rented a truck and put under two miles on it, with multiple trips and to/from the rental place. So I definitely get staying in the neighborhood!
posted by mersen at 3:34 PM on April 4, 2022
This is a good point. Do you stay home all the time, or are you out all the time? I'm out most of the time, so I prioritize being near things I do rather than "making myself a home" somewhere in the boonies.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:18 PM on April 4, 2022
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:18 PM on April 4, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
Have you talked to your neighbors about whether they might want to move? You totally should! One of my neighbors is very serious about buying my house if I ever want to sell. This is the way to make sure you don't lose out if one of them ever does go on the market.
posted by HotToddy at 5:58 PM on April 3, 2022 [3 favorites]