Need Nurse, EMT or other Medical Folks Advice re: Elderly Transport
February 26, 2022 6:11 AM Subscribe
Mom has been bedridden for about eight months but wants to attend her husband's funeral over an hour away. I've hired a transport van and though mom said she doesn't want it, we think we should hire a nurse to travel with her. What questions should I ask/problems should I foresee?
Mom and her husband entered a nursing home at the beginning of 2021 due to mom's physical infirmities (she fell and was hospitalized 4 times in less than 10 months while her husband refused to look into assisted living or nursing home options) and her husband's increasing dementia. They made zero plans for anything but we managed to find a place they could both go, and in a room together. After a couple months, her husband went downhill quickly and passed away in January.
Due to various issues with Covid and military paperwork, the cremation didn't happen for several weeks, and the funeral wasn't scheduled until finally the end of next week (in 6 days). I have three older siblings, all in different states and we are poor communicators.
The cemetery (which was paid ahead of time, and is also providing military honors of some kind), is more than an hour from the nursing home. Mom would really like to go. The nursing home gave me the name of a wheelchair transport company so that has been ordered. But we should hire a nurse to go with her, right? Only one person is allowed in the transport with mom due to Covid restrictions, and she wants that person to be me. She thinks everything will be fine and she doesn't want an extra person to go. (I'm not sure if this is because it is such a personal event, or because she doesn't want a stranger there, or because she honestly doesn't think there will be any issues.) But her children think a nurse (Or EMT?) should be with her the whole time, and if so, how do we hire one to do that?
She is currently on Medicaid but her family will pay whatever it costs to do this if it is possible. Mom is 88, quite frail, and hadn't been out of bed for 8 months, partly because the last couple times she got up in a wheelchair, she was injured due to super easy bruising and very delicate skin. (I also think it is partly because it is easier for the nursing home staff to leave her in bed every day but that's another issue).
In preparation for this event she was able to sit in a wheelchair on Thursday for about 6 hours. She was a little sore but feels confident she can do this. I was there a couple months ago and she was on oxygen so she'll probably need that with her (?) She has had some issues with bedsores which are healing, but are not 100%. She is still very sharp mentally, and was also a registered nurse for more than 50 years, mostly for the elderly. But, she does seem more confused in the last month or so, and her insistence that it will be fine to travel an hour plus both ways without medical assistance is probably not reasonable?
So, Monday I will call the nursing home, Humana who manages her Medicaid, and the transport company, to try to figure out how to hire a nurse to travel with her to the funeral. I haven't spoken to her social worker recently but my sister has and we can ask her advice as well, though she can be hard to reach.
What questions should I ask? Do you know how to hire a nurse for the day? She really likes some of the nurses at her facility but they have been chronically short-staffed due to Covid and though I am hopeful one can do this, I don't know the legalities of that or if any would be interested or available. I'm quite stressed about it all since this is less than a week away. We should have done more planning but originally mom was resigned to not go, and then in the last few weeks she has said she really, really would prefer to go. It's the last trip she will probably take. I think if it is within our power to make it happen we should, so I am trying. Is this the worst idea?
Ideally, we would meet the nurse the day before (happy to pay her for that time also), so she doesn't arrive a complete stranger to spend an hour both ways in the van with mom. As an added difficulty, none of our family has ever been good with emotions. But I suspect from recent conversations with mom that this is going to be very difficult for her. She has a spot reserved next to her husband and she will see that and I can't even imagine what she's feeling, having a stranger there may make that worse. I will be there but driving separately. Another sister and brother will be meeting us at the cemetery, or possibly driving with me. Her husband has 3 sons, one of whom has been very helpful and has arranged the funeral. Please let me know if you have any advice!
Mom and her husband entered a nursing home at the beginning of 2021 due to mom's physical infirmities (she fell and was hospitalized 4 times in less than 10 months while her husband refused to look into assisted living or nursing home options) and her husband's increasing dementia. They made zero plans for anything but we managed to find a place they could both go, and in a room together. After a couple months, her husband went downhill quickly and passed away in January.
Due to various issues with Covid and military paperwork, the cremation didn't happen for several weeks, and the funeral wasn't scheduled until finally the end of next week (in 6 days). I have three older siblings, all in different states and we are poor communicators.
The cemetery (which was paid ahead of time, and is also providing military honors of some kind), is more than an hour from the nursing home. Mom would really like to go. The nursing home gave me the name of a wheelchair transport company so that has been ordered. But we should hire a nurse to go with her, right? Only one person is allowed in the transport with mom due to Covid restrictions, and she wants that person to be me. She thinks everything will be fine and she doesn't want an extra person to go. (I'm not sure if this is because it is such a personal event, or because she doesn't want a stranger there, or because she honestly doesn't think there will be any issues.) But her children think a nurse (Or EMT?) should be with her the whole time, and if so, how do we hire one to do that?
She is currently on Medicaid but her family will pay whatever it costs to do this if it is possible. Mom is 88, quite frail, and hadn't been out of bed for 8 months, partly because the last couple times she got up in a wheelchair, she was injured due to super easy bruising and very delicate skin. (I also think it is partly because it is easier for the nursing home staff to leave her in bed every day but that's another issue).
In preparation for this event she was able to sit in a wheelchair on Thursday for about 6 hours. She was a little sore but feels confident she can do this. I was there a couple months ago and she was on oxygen so she'll probably need that with her (?) She has had some issues with bedsores which are healing, but are not 100%. She is still very sharp mentally, and was also a registered nurse for more than 50 years, mostly for the elderly. But, she does seem more confused in the last month or so, and her insistence that it will be fine to travel an hour plus both ways without medical assistance is probably not reasonable?
So, Monday I will call the nursing home, Humana who manages her Medicaid, and the transport company, to try to figure out how to hire a nurse to travel with her to the funeral. I haven't spoken to her social worker recently but my sister has and we can ask her advice as well, though she can be hard to reach.
What questions should I ask? Do you know how to hire a nurse for the day? She really likes some of the nurses at her facility but they have been chronically short-staffed due to Covid and though I am hopeful one can do this, I don't know the legalities of that or if any would be interested or available. I'm quite stressed about it all since this is less than a week away. We should have done more planning but originally mom was resigned to not go, and then in the last few weeks she has said she really, really would prefer to go. It's the last trip she will probably take. I think if it is within our power to make it happen we should, so I am trying. Is this the worst idea?
Ideally, we would meet the nurse the day before (happy to pay her for that time also), so she doesn't arrive a complete stranger to spend an hour both ways in the van with mom. As an added difficulty, none of our family has ever been good with emotions. But I suspect from recent conversations with mom that this is going to be very difficult for her. She has a spot reserved next to her husband and she will see that and I can't even imagine what she's feeling, having a stranger there may make that worse. I will be there but driving separately. Another sister and brother will be meeting us at the cemetery, or possibly driving with me. Her husband has 3 sons, one of whom has been very helpful and has arranged the funeral. Please let me know if you have any advice!
Sounds like a tough situation. Kudos to you for trying to fulfill your moms’s wishes. Potential problem is that driving is a lot bumpier than just sitting in a wheelchair. I’d have some extra pillows on hand to use as padding if there’s a particular spot, like between her body and the armrest that needs it. Pillows can also be used to elevate one side or the other of her bottom since pressure sores are an issue. Another thing to think about is how your mom will go to the bathroom if needed. Does she have a catheter or wear depends? Can you ask to borrow a potty chair so she could just transfer from the wheelchair to potty chair if needed? Is your mom a full-code or DNR? Just asking because you might not actually need a nurse. A nurse assistant or patient care tech should be able to assist with the transferring and moving around required and it might be easier to hire a tech as opposed to a nurse.
posted by MadMadam at 7:11 AM on February 26, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by MadMadam at 7:11 AM on February 26, 2022 [5 favorites]
Bedsores are serious and can be fatal so make sure you have a really fancy seat cushion- the inflatable ones that look like fingers are good. Sitting on the wrong surface for hours can really exacerbate them. And making sure she has a good toilet solution is important too because bedsores can get seriously infected if germs get into them.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:16 AM on February 26, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:16 AM on February 26, 2022 [4 favorites]
You cannot do this yourself. Which you know, but just to underscore: you are absolutely correct that you need a professional.
My grandma was in an assisted care facility for the last several years of her life. My brother met his (now ex, but that's irrelevant) girlfriend there. She was a CNA who worked at the care home. We learned a lot from her. In addition to her regular job, she also picked up a ton of private care hours for things exactly like this: a resident had to make a trip for some reason or another, or had to be overnight somewhere away from the home, girlfriend would be privately contracted to be there. She wasn't a nurse, but she was experienced working with elderly residents in extremely poor health, she was ready to do the dirty work (literally), she was strong enough to get people moved around, and--most importantly--the residents already knew her and trusted her. She got paid, the residents got good care from a trusted person, and most importantly people like my mom didn't have to spend my grandma's last months stressed and crying trying to get a frail old woman onto a toilet.
Anyway, that's what I would ask for. You can go through the nursing home admin but you can also just call and ask for the CNA (or whomever) who cares for your mother on the regular rotation, and ask them directly if they want to pick up a day of private work doing this. From what I understood from my brother's ex, this is extremely common and there's generally always someone ready to jump at the chance for a break from their routine and cash in hand.
posted by phunniemee at 7:22 AM on February 26, 2022 [12 favorites]
My grandma was in an assisted care facility for the last several years of her life. My brother met his (now ex, but that's irrelevant) girlfriend there. She was a CNA who worked at the care home. We learned a lot from her. In addition to her regular job, she also picked up a ton of private care hours for things exactly like this: a resident had to make a trip for some reason or another, or had to be overnight somewhere away from the home, girlfriend would be privately contracted to be there. She wasn't a nurse, but she was experienced working with elderly residents in extremely poor health, she was ready to do the dirty work (literally), she was strong enough to get people moved around, and--most importantly--the residents already knew her and trusted her. She got paid, the residents got good care from a trusted person, and most importantly people like my mom didn't have to spend my grandma's last months stressed and crying trying to get a frail old woman onto a toilet.
Anyway, that's what I would ask for. You can go through the nursing home admin but you can also just call and ask for the CNA (or whomever) who cares for your mother on the regular rotation, and ask them directly if they want to pick up a day of private work doing this. From what I understood from my brother's ex, this is extremely common and there's generally always someone ready to jump at the chance for a break from their routine and cash in hand.
posted by phunniemee at 7:22 AM on February 26, 2022 [12 favorites]
Best answer: You are very kind to be arranging this for your mom. However, I think this is probably more complex than you make be expecting. I strongly suggest you have a long conversation with the 'charge nurse' and maybe the social worker at her facility. Also, with the transport company. Things you need to ask and think about:
1. Does she need oxygen? Is it possible she may require it if she becomes upset. Will the EMT/RN/Transport company have a way to measure her oxygen if she complains of shortness of breath. If she may need oxygen what flow (how many litres per minute) will she need. Will she need it at the graveside? And if so how will that be provided to her (instead of just a big tank in the van).
2. What medication does she need to have with her and when/how to take it. She may need pain medication after sitting for so long. Ensure you know what she can take and how often. She may have medication that she needs say at lunch time, which needs to come with her.
3. How will she ride in the van. Is it a 'wheelchair van' where only her own wheelchair can be strapped in, or is an 'Ambulette' available, where they have a stretcher she can ride on, and then be up in her wheelchair for the much shorter time for the service. This may be a better option for her if her ability to sit, while in motion, for hours on end is iffy. Does the van company provide an attendant? What is this person allowed to do for your mom? Do they actually count a medical escort (EMT or RN) as the 'allowed' escort or will they allow you and a medical escort if need be.
4. Toileting. Is she continent? Where will you plan to stop to use the facilities for her or for you. Can you change her in the van or do you need to find a good spot to do so. Some roadside rest stops have very accessible bathrooms (the phrase you may be looking for is 'Changing Places' which is the term for bathrooms suitable for changing and toileting a very dependent adult). Places like a recreation center enroute might also allow you to use a change room for a planned stop, but Covid makes things weird. Likely it is better if she has 'something absorbent' on underneath her clothes to protect her dignity in case of an accident. You need to plan to bring at least one spare 'tidy' outfit, and a change of PJ' type clothes. Also, 'baby wipes', garbage bags (for debris, wet clothes), spare absorbent briefs, gloves for cleaning her up if need be. She will want to be comfortable and feel presentable. Hairbrush, makeup if she wears it etc will help her look and feel her best at the service.
5. What is the plan if you mom has medical distress enroute or near the destination? Ensure you have copies of her medication list, an advanced planning documents, power of attorney papers, her medical diagnosis and a reliable phone number for her home residence (ie the charge nurses cell/main desk). Know where the 'in network' ER would be in case of a sudden need.
6. Comfort items: Ensure you pack light snacks for you and mom, a warm comfortable blanket, kleenex, bottled water, cell phone/charge/battery pack, a warm jacket (if snow or rain is possible), spare pillow. You may want to task someone with taking some discreet photos if this may help you mom remember this event later.
I wish you the best of luck and hope this is smooth and peaceful as possible for your family.
posted by Northbysomewhatcrazy at 7:34 AM on February 26, 2022 [14 favorites]
1. Does she need oxygen? Is it possible she may require it if she becomes upset. Will the EMT/RN/Transport company have a way to measure her oxygen if she complains of shortness of breath. If she may need oxygen what flow (how many litres per minute) will she need. Will she need it at the graveside? And if so how will that be provided to her (instead of just a big tank in the van).
2. What medication does she need to have with her and when/how to take it. She may need pain medication after sitting for so long. Ensure you know what she can take and how often. She may have medication that she needs say at lunch time, which needs to come with her.
3. How will she ride in the van. Is it a 'wheelchair van' where only her own wheelchair can be strapped in, or is an 'Ambulette' available, where they have a stretcher she can ride on, and then be up in her wheelchair for the much shorter time for the service. This may be a better option for her if her ability to sit, while in motion, for hours on end is iffy. Does the van company provide an attendant? What is this person allowed to do for your mom? Do they actually count a medical escort (EMT or RN) as the 'allowed' escort or will they allow you and a medical escort if need be.
4. Toileting. Is she continent? Where will you plan to stop to use the facilities for her or for you. Can you change her in the van or do you need to find a good spot to do so. Some roadside rest stops have very accessible bathrooms (the phrase you may be looking for is 'Changing Places' which is the term for bathrooms suitable for changing and toileting a very dependent adult). Places like a recreation center enroute might also allow you to use a change room for a planned stop, but Covid makes things weird. Likely it is better if she has 'something absorbent' on underneath her clothes to protect her dignity in case of an accident. You need to plan to bring at least one spare 'tidy' outfit, and a change of PJ' type clothes. Also, 'baby wipes', garbage bags (for debris, wet clothes), spare absorbent briefs, gloves for cleaning her up if need be. She will want to be comfortable and feel presentable. Hairbrush, makeup if she wears it etc will help her look and feel her best at the service.
5. What is the plan if you mom has medical distress enroute or near the destination? Ensure you have copies of her medication list, an advanced planning documents, power of attorney papers, her medical diagnosis and a reliable phone number for her home residence (ie the charge nurses cell/main desk). Know where the 'in network' ER would be in case of a sudden need.
6. Comfort items: Ensure you pack light snacks for you and mom, a warm comfortable blanket, kleenex, bottled water, cell phone/charge/battery pack, a warm jacket (if snow or rain is possible), spare pillow. You may want to task someone with taking some discreet photos if this may help you mom remember this event later.
I wish you the best of luck and hope this is smooth and peaceful as possible for your family.
posted by Northbysomewhatcrazy at 7:34 AM on February 26, 2022 [14 favorites]
Yes, you may have to hire a nurse's aide out of pocket. I am thinking the chances of Humana or any other Medicare replacement or advantage plan paying for a nurse or EMT to travel with your mom is slim. Perhaps there is a benefit I am not aware of. A support person may be needed if your mom needed to transfer out of the wheelchair or stand up. Other than that, I don't know why you would need a person if she intends to sit for the duration. I also second the idea of having cushions for support.
Toileting and oxygen: How does she toilet in the nursing home? What is her ability to transfer from the wheelchair to the toilet if she needs one and what is her supplemental oxygen requirement? If she is able to transfer with minimal assistance you might be able to assist her. If you don't think she will need to transfer for the duration of the trip, because her bathroom needs are taken care of (adult diaper, etc.), she may be okay for this journey. It's hard to know.
If she doesn't usually sit up and go places this might be very difficult for her physically, although she did do a practice run. Ideally she should be in the chair every day going forward leading up to the funeral if you can arrange that with the nursing staff. If she requires oxygen does she own a portable oxygen unit that will last for the day? I would determine if she is still on oxygen and does she require oxygen around the clock, just at night, or what.
posted by loveandhappiness at 7:37 AM on February 26, 2022
Toileting and oxygen: How does she toilet in the nursing home? What is her ability to transfer from the wheelchair to the toilet if she needs one and what is her supplemental oxygen requirement? If she is able to transfer with minimal assistance you might be able to assist her. If you don't think she will need to transfer for the duration of the trip, because her bathroom needs are taken care of (adult diaper, etc.), she may be okay for this journey. It's hard to know.
If she doesn't usually sit up and go places this might be very difficult for her physically, although she did do a practice run. Ideally she should be in the chair every day going forward leading up to the funeral if you can arrange that with the nursing staff. If she requires oxygen does she own a portable oxygen unit that will last for the day? I would determine if she is still on oxygen and does she require oxygen around the clock, just at night, or what.
posted by loveandhappiness at 7:37 AM on February 26, 2022
What if you ride with your mom and arrange for the nurse to follow in a separate vehicle? You could pre arrange a halfway stopping point to have the nurse check in your mom and if she’s in medical distress during the trip, you can call the nurse.
IANAD but I don’t think something like a bedsore would develop in 30 minutes and it does sound like your mom could use a little extra emotional support along with medical.
posted by Pretty Good Talker at 9:23 AM on February 26, 2022 [9 favorites]
IANAD but I don’t think something like a bedsore would develop in 30 minutes and it does sound like your mom could use a little extra emotional support along with medical.
posted by Pretty Good Talker at 9:23 AM on February 26, 2022 [9 favorites]
I was going to say what Pretty Good Talker said. The nurse probably doesn't have to be in the same vehicle the whole time if your mom is not in difficulties, and these days coordinating a stop between two vehicles if necessary shouldn't be difficult at all.
posted by praemunire at 9:30 AM on February 26, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by praemunire at 9:30 AM on February 26, 2022 [1 favorite]
Your mother’s facility might have rules against providing assistance to someone away from the facility, this is something to keep in mind. It’s a potential liability issue for them. Agree with others suggesting you will have an easier time hiring a personal care aide for the day than a nurse. Also agree that you need to ask explicit questions about your mother’s oxygen requirements and the equipment she will have available. Portable 02 tanks are in desperately short supply all over the country, so this might be a real obstacle.
You mention pressure ulcers but not their location. If the sores are in an area that will need to be cleaned during toileting assistance, you should ask the nurse at your mother’s facility how to clean (and dress, if needed) these sores.
You will absolutely be paying out of pocket to hire an aide. Neither Medicaid nor Medicare nor any commercial medical insurance will pay for this. CNAs and other personal care workers are in short supply and are universally underpaid, so offering a generous hourly wage might improve your chance of finding someone willing to do this.
Be sure to ask whether the wheelchair transport van is going to wait for your mother or if they will need to be called to come pick her up at the end of the funeral service.
posted by little mouth at 10:20 AM on February 26, 2022 [1 favorite]
You mention pressure ulcers but not their location. If the sores are in an area that will need to be cleaned during toileting assistance, you should ask the nurse at your mother’s facility how to clean (and dress, if needed) these sores.
You will absolutely be paying out of pocket to hire an aide. Neither Medicaid nor Medicare nor any commercial medical insurance will pay for this. CNAs and other personal care workers are in short supply and are universally underpaid, so offering a generous hourly wage might improve your chance of finding someone willing to do this.
Be sure to ask whether the wheelchair transport van is going to wait for your mother or if they will need to be called to come pick her up at the end of the funeral service.
posted by little mouth at 10:20 AM on February 26, 2022 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I'm a nurse familiar with short-term wheelchair transport, like to a medical appointment. Not sure if there is a different protocol for longer-distance wheelchair transport.
I went with my elderly aunt on her trips to local medical appointments. The driver was a driver, not any sort of medical professional and nobody else accompanied her. My aunt was not on oxygen, but her wheelchair (the nursing home's property) had a small cage to hold a small tank. Is your mom on prescribed oxygen? If so it's simple to make sure she has a tank to take with her - take an extra one in case it runs out. If she is not prescribed oxygen you will need to have it prescribed and ordered from the DME company her insurance contracts with, and I doubt this could be accomplished in 5 days. It all has to go through a bureaucracy
Pressure sores are a really big deal, and your mom is probably better served if she can sit for a shorter period than in a wheelchair for several hours. I am not familiar with what an ambulette offers, but if she can be transported by stretcher it would probably be better for her. However, lying in one position on a narrow stretcher without moving around a little promotes formation of new pressure sores. The driver will use large velcro straps to secure her to the stretcher so she can't move during the drive. It won't be possible for her to change her own position. Someone needs to be there to help her move, and the driver will have to stop in order for it to be done safely.
For patients who are frail, very thin and with muscle wasting (like from being mostly in bed for months) and especially if they are not well nourished, even a wrinkle in a sheet can cause a bedsore if a body part lies on it for an hour or two. If the skin is broken sores can become infected and can lead to sepsis and death. I've seen it.
For the time that she is in a wheelchair the pressure-sore pillow you want is called a ROHO pillow - it's air filled and can be inflated to the optimal fullness for her. You don't want it to be taut like a balloon - you want it slightly deflated so she can change how her weight is distributed while she sits. Insurance will not pay for this unless a person is unable to move their lower extremities, such as paraplegic, so you will have to pay out of pocket. I got one for my dad in hospice and it was a godsend. The cheapest one, which is what I got, is about $100. The pillow would then be hers to use back at her nursing home, and the staff might feel better about getting her out of bed if she has a good presssure pillow. (Mark it in indelible bright paint as hers. Things go missing in nursing homes, especially expensive things like this.)
Toileting is an entirely different issue, and you will need to figure out what she needs. Does she wear adult diapers? If she's on a stretcher in an ambulette changing it is probably possible, cleaning her with wipes (this is what nursing homes do). Travel by wheelchair adds another level of complexity.
I don't know what Covid is like in her area and the funeral's area, but I hope she is vaccinated. There is likely to be a lot of hugging and talking in her face at a funeral.
All in all, I think it's essential such a frail person have an attendent. A nurse might be best, but a licensed practical nurse is probably fine and is less expensive - I'd call an agency. It will be pricey, but they will understand completely what she needs. Make sure whoever you hire is legally able to administer whatever medications she takes while she is away from the nursing home, and make sure the meds are taken with her, including PRN (as needed) meds like pain meds - you may need to get an order from her physician to enable the meds to be removed from the nursing home and administered by someone not on the staff. You will probably have to pay the nurse for her time door-to-door. Good luck and I hope you and your family can manage to have her there to say good-bye to her husband. This is a very loving gesture on your part.
posted by citygirl at 10:23 AM on February 26, 2022 [5 favorites]
I went with my elderly aunt on her trips to local medical appointments. The driver was a driver, not any sort of medical professional and nobody else accompanied her. My aunt was not on oxygen, but her wheelchair (the nursing home's property) had a small cage to hold a small tank. Is your mom on prescribed oxygen? If so it's simple to make sure she has a tank to take with her - take an extra one in case it runs out. If she is not prescribed oxygen you will need to have it prescribed and ordered from the DME company her insurance contracts with, and I doubt this could be accomplished in 5 days. It all has to go through a bureaucracy
Pressure sores are a really big deal, and your mom is probably better served if she can sit for a shorter period than in a wheelchair for several hours. I am not familiar with what an ambulette offers, but if she can be transported by stretcher it would probably be better for her. However, lying in one position on a narrow stretcher without moving around a little promotes formation of new pressure sores. The driver will use large velcro straps to secure her to the stretcher so she can't move during the drive. It won't be possible for her to change her own position. Someone needs to be there to help her move, and the driver will have to stop in order for it to be done safely.
For patients who are frail, very thin and with muscle wasting (like from being mostly in bed for months) and especially if they are not well nourished, even a wrinkle in a sheet can cause a bedsore if a body part lies on it for an hour or two. If the skin is broken sores can become infected and can lead to sepsis and death. I've seen it.
For the time that she is in a wheelchair the pressure-sore pillow you want is called a ROHO pillow - it's air filled and can be inflated to the optimal fullness for her. You don't want it to be taut like a balloon - you want it slightly deflated so she can change how her weight is distributed while she sits. Insurance will not pay for this unless a person is unable to move their lower extremities, such as paraplegic, so you will have to pay out of pocket. I got one for my dad in hospice and it was a godsend. The cheapest one, which is what I got, is about $100. The pillow would then be hers to use back at her nursing home, and the staff might feel better about getting her out of bed if she has a good presssure pillow. (Mark it in indelible bright paint as hers. Things go missing in nursing homes, especially expensive things like this.)
Toileting is an entirely different issue, and you will need to figure out what she needs. Does she wear adult diapers? If she's on a stretcher in an ambulette changing it is probably possible, cleaning her with wipes (this is what nursing homes do). Travel by wheelchair adds another level of complexity.
I don't know what Covid is like in her area and the funeral's area, but I hope she is vaccinated. There is likely to be a lot of hugging and talking in her face at a funeral.
All in all, I think it's essential such a frail person have an attendent. A nurse might be best, but a licensed practical nurse is probably fine and is less expensive - I'd call an agency. It will be pricey, but they will understand completely what she needs. Make sure whoever you hire is legally able to administer whatever medications she takes while she is away from the nursing home, and make sure the meds are taken with her, including PRN (as needed) meds like pain meds - you may need to get an order from her physician to enable the meds to be removed from the nursing home and administered by someone not on the staff. You will probably have to pay the nurse for her time door-to-door. Good luck and I hope you and your family can manage to have her there to say good-bye to her husband. This is a very loving gesture on your part.
posted by citygirl at 10:23 AM on February 26, 2022 [5 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you kindly for all these extremely helpful answers. I spoke to the nurse on her wing today, and she said this is probably something they can do but I have to call the director on Monday. I spoke to mom and she seems much happier knowing we are going to try to get one of the nurses (or aides) that she knows and likes, and in fact she is going to ask them herself. The benefit of this of course if they will know all of her medication needs and her condition.
She has all her shots but also had Covid during an outbreak a month ago. She had a worrisome cough at that time but it is gone. The transport company said there are no exceptions to their rule about one person only in the vehicle with mom, and that is due to their strict Covid precautions. I have ordered a ROHO cushion per citygirl's recommendation.
Crossing fingers it will work out, feeling better about it now.
posted by Glinn at 11:56 AM on February 26, 2022 [2 favorites]
She has all her shots but also had Covid during an outbreak a month ago. She had a worrisome cough at that time but it is gone. The transport company said there are no exceptions to their rule about one person only in the vehicle with mom, and that is due to their strict Covid precautions. I have ordered a ROHO cushion per citygirl's recommendation.
Crossing fingers it will work out, feeling better about it now.
posted by Glinn at 11:56 AM on February 26, 2022 [2 favorites]
Glinn,
My access is still highly limited, but I just wanted to pop on and say that I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this, and I'm wishing that everything goes as smoothly as possible for you and your mom and your siblings.
posted by sardonyx at 3:07 PM on February 26, 2022 [1 favorite]
My access is still highly limited, but I just wanted to pop on and say that I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this, and I'm wishing that everything goes as smoothly as possible for you and your mom and your siblings.
posted by sardonyx at 3:07 PM on February 26, 2022 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by DixieBaby at 6:54 AM on February 26, 2022 [14 favorites]