What site/app is good for meeting people these days?

February 1, 2022 10:15 AM

Feeling pretty lonely and I’d like to meet someone for friends/dating, and I don’t know where the best place is online these days, or if there is an app that doesn’t suck or something. I’m an Old (49), and don’t have $50 to find out who liked my profile (wtf, okcupid?!?!).

Just looking for someone, and can’t / don’t want to spend an arm and a leg. Also I am not sure where people my age even go to meet. I’m gen x, 49 years old, and a woman looking for men mostly. I’ve used things like match.com and even craigslist way in the past, but it’s been like 16 years since then. I’m basically asexual these days for what it’s worth.

Any suggestions? Out of the way or niche things are fine.

posted by cats are weird to Human Relations (5 answers total)

My details are similar and though I haven't tried them yet, Bumble, Hinge and J-Date (if you're Jewish, not sure if that is a hard rule), have been suggested to me. All three seem to have minimal features for free, with varying subscription rates.
posted by Glinn at 1:01 PM on February 1, 2022

Bumble has a friends setting with other women, if you want to find friends. You can do friends and dating, if you'd also like to meet men to date. You don't have to pay any of these apps; paying just gives you extra features, if you don't want to swipe.
posted by bluedaisy at 1:45 PM on February 1, 2022

OKC will tell you when you match with someone that also matched you without having to pay for it. You just have to put in the work going through all the ones they throw at you that didn't match you. If you're upfront about being ace that will drop your number of matches but will save unpleasant experiences. As far as friends, while I've become friends with a few people on OKC that we went on a date and decided the romantic spark wasn't there, I have as of yet to have anyone with the "looking for friends" option turned on who matched with me actually accept an explicitly platonic initial meeting.
posted by Candleman at 5:25 PM on February 1, 2022

I'm not sure where you are but in my major metropolitan area, Meetup.com and Eventbrite are two popular ways to meet new people over shared interests.

Personally, I'm done with the dating apps but Hinge and Bumble seemed to be the best of the bunch. If you are an honest person, you may be shocked to see so many middle-aged men are lying about something, either overtly or by omission (age, marital status, income, kids, etc.) I'd say the people you randomly meet in person are still quite honest and real; however, the fibbing seems to be the status quo for dating apps these days. Additionally, you may be surprised that random younger guys are interested, actively asking you out, while some much older guys are not.

Good luck! This is a lonely time and so many of us are looking for great local connections.
posted by smorgasbord at 6:00 PM on February 1, 2022 [3 favorites]

After a breakup last year I joined several dating sites. Best to worst have been Hinge, Bumble, OKCupid, Zoosk, Tinder. The first two have entirely changed my social life. Feels like a "Sadie Hawkins" vibe in the air. Women totally control the pace on Bumble. That may make it more comfortable as you get your feet wet. Carefully craft your profile as one big filter.
Best of luck.
Have Fun!
posted by Studiogeek at 7:17 PM on February 7, 2022 [1 favorite]