Is it possible to get a smaller penis?
July 30, 2021 2:07 PM Subscribe
At 39, could I successfully get a smaller penis that works as well as the one I have?
YANMD YANMT My wife has chronic pain as a result of sport injuries she experienced before we met. We've been together for 10 years. Recently, her pain has gotten so regular that she is in pain when we have sex, but does enjoy orgasming. I usually give her a very long intimate massage. We have talked a lot about whether I have too much penis. I now wear a strap-on with a smaller dildo when we have PIV intercourse and she enjoys it but misses the sensation of the real thing.
I want to know for myself whether it is possible to work with a surgeon to decrease my penis size to something she can really enjoy when she wants to have PIV sex. I am thinking a reduction to 3.5 to 4 inches and a thinner profile. I know there are a lot of risks involved with this type of procedure but I also know that men are having penises constructed for them that do respond to stimulation. We are now seeing a sex therapist who suggested the harness and has been very helpful in other areas. I plan on telling my wife and the therapist that I did look into it as I said I would. I spoke to a surgeon who said I should talk to a sex therapist. I would appreciate any guidance to answer this question. I'm not seeking advice about sex or about what a big or small penis supposedly represent.
YANMD YANMT My wife has chronic pain as a result of sport injuries she experienced before we met. We've been together for 10 years. Recently, her pain has gotten so regular that she is in pain when we have sex, but does enjoy orgasming. I usually give her a very long intimate massage. We have talked a lot about whether I have too much penis. I now wear a strap-on with a smaller dildo when we have PIV intercourse and she enjoys it but misses the sensation of the real thing.
I want to know for myself whether it is possible to work with a surgeon to decrease my penis size to something she can really enjoy when she wants to have PIV sex. I am thinking a reduction to 3.5 to 4 inches and a thinner profile. I know there are a lot of risks involved with this type of procedure but I also know that men are having penises constructed for them that do respond to stimulation. We are now seeing a sex therapist who suggested the harness and has been very helpful in other areas. I plan on telling my wife and the therapist that I did look into it as I said I would. I spoke to a surgeon who said I should talk to a sex therapist. I would appreciate any guidance to answer this question. I'm not seeking advice about sex or about what a big or small penis supposedly represent.
There are modular rings you can wear to adjust depth of penetration, if that’s of use. Ohnut is one.
posted by needs more cowbell at 2:26 PM on July 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by needs more cowbell at 2:26 PM on July 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
There are drugs that can potentially shrink a dink. Certain antidepressants, for example. Estrogen can also do it, but you'll also probably lose your erections and gain boobs. It's incredibly generous of you to think about doing this, but I would strongly advise against it. There are many ways to please your partner that don't require major surgery on your junk.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:42 PM on July 30, 2021 [13 favorites]
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:42 PM on July 30, 2021 [13 favorites]
I don't recommend it, but putting on weight to the point that you are overweight or obese will increase the amount of fatty tissue around your penis which will make it seem shorter.
I'd go with those Ohnut rings or explore ways to satisfy your partner that don't involve PIV penetration.
posted by Aleyn at 4:31 PM on July 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
I'd go with those Ohnut rings or explore ways to satisfy your partner that don't involve PIV penetration.
posted by Aleyn at 4:31 PM on July 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
Could I successfully get a smaller penis that works as well as the one I have?
No. At this time, with current surgical techniques, a healthy neopenis won't have the range of responsiveness or sensation your penis has now. If your surgery was successful — big if! I doubt you could find a surgeon to do it; I imagine you'd have to combine penectomy and phalloplasty techniques and the thinner profile would be difficult. Look at a cross-section of penile anatomy, what portion of spongy tissue would you shave down? — if all this was done, could you still have a fun and pleasurable sexual experience, possibly even orgasm? Yes, likely, but it takes months to years and a lot of mental effort as your nerves rewire. It will not feel the same as before. This is a major, expensive surgery and there are serious complication risks.
posted by lloquat at 5:30 PM on July 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
No. At this time, with current surgical techniques, a healthy neopenis won't have the range of responsiveness or sensation your penis has now. If your surgery was successful — big if! I doubt you could find a surgeon to do it; I imagine you'd have to combine penectomy and phalloplasty techniques and the thinner profile would be difficult. Look at a cross-section of penile anatomy, what portion of spongy tissue would you shave down? — if all this was done, could you still have a fun and pleasurable sexual experience, possibly even orgasm? Yes, likely, but it takes months to years and a lot of mental effort as your nerves rewire. It will not feel the same as before. This is a major, expensive surgery and there are serious complication risks.
posted by lloquat at 5:30 PM on July 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
I suffer from vaginal atrophy and have found the Ohnut worked great for us as it was easily adjustable as needed. There are a few other brands of "bumpers" out there that work similarly too so it might be a fun for you guys to buy a few and experiment.
posted by wwax at 6:09 PM on July 30, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by wwax at 6:09 PM on July 30, 2021 [5 favorites]
I’m an NP who works in reproductive health. (TINMA, etc.) As others have mentioned, there are probably pharmacological things you could try to decrease the firmness and strength of your erections, but often will have side effects like lowered libido or anti-androgen effects. Surgery is unlikely to provide the solution you are seeking. Over time, you may find you have less robust erections with age, but it sounds like you are wanting a solution right now. The only other suggestion I would have besides the bumper ring (apologies if this has come up already or too off-topic) is to look in to physiotherapy for your wife—depending on what sort of injury she’s had, physiotherapy can be very helpful for pelvic floor injuries. I have many patients who have had good success treating vaginismus with a combination of psychosexual therapy and PT (again, may be different etiologies than your wife, but just wanted to mention in case you hadn’t already investigated this). Sorry you are both experiencing this and hope you can find a solution.
posted by stillmoving at 10:00 AM on July 31, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by stillmoving at 10:00 AM on July 31, 2021 [5 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by hanov3r at 2:25 PM on July 30, 2021 [13 favorites]