How commonplace is crossing one’s arms at Catholic communion?

July 25, 2021 11:14 PM

How commonplace is crossing one’s arms at communion time, hands on opposite shoulders, to receive a blessing rather than receive the Eucharist, in Catholic churches?

I was raised Catholic and can remember seeing this on just two occasions at my church in the 90s in New York. I was told this is for people who want to participate in the mass but are not in the requisite state of grace — perhaps someone who is converting but has not yet done the other sacraments, or for someone who is Protestant and doesn’t want to get Catholic communion but is on board with, you know, other parts. Is that true?

Also, has this become more commonplace in the intervening time? Is this the kind of thing that, say, one could do at any Catholic service and expect the priest to understand immediately, or is this fringe or obscure? Does it vary by region?

(To be clear, I am just asking about this specific gesture and its prominence, not "should I take communion?" or anything in that sphere.)

posted by Charity Garfein to Religion & Philosophy (46 answers total)

Central Illinois (USA), raised Catholic, parochial schools 1982-1992, weekly Mass:

This gesture was common and, as I was taught, it was intended for exactly the purposes you described. I was taught that it was an ecumenical and inclusive practice to be proud of.

I can't speak to whether it has become more common over time or whether it is common outside Central Illinois.
posted by willb2 at 11:23 PM on July 25, 2021

Like a lot of things it depends on where you are and what mass you're at, but at 90% of the churches I've been to in the US, scattered around the country, you see it all the time. (Smaller sample size, but at Spanish masses at the same churches, people seem more likely to just remain seated, though it still happens.) And then obviously in more traditional parishes with altar rails the mechanics don't really work the same way. (In addition to that, there is a feeling among some people who are more theologically conservative but still at NO parishes that doing this creates a weird situation where the extraordinary ministers of the eucharist feel compelled or empowered to bless people in a way that's not in keeping with canon law, since they aren't priests or deacons. I haven't actually looked that up myself, just mentioning it as another way this interacts with parish life as it is lived.)

From what I've heard (and on a few occasions seen first-hand) this does vary way more from country to country than it does from region to region, and while I can't remember where I read this my understanding is that it started in the US. At the masses I've been to outside the US I didn't really see it at all.
posted by Polycarp at 11:57 PM on July 25, 2021

I grew up in the Chicago archdiocese in the 1990s. I'm pretty sure I had never heard of nor seen this gesture until I went to college in California. You simply remained seated if you weren't taking communion.

(The reason I say I'm pretty sure is that I went to a Catholic summer camp with a chapel with no side aisles. Because of that, everyone did go up during communion, but I'm pretty sure you signalled you weren't taking communion by keeping your hands at your sides or something.)
posted by hoyland at 12:11 AM on July 26, 2021

When I was a Eucharistic minister, we were told that we just gave people with crossed arms a blessing.They fit into many categories that were none of our business. They might have been visitors from another religion, not sure they were properly prepared, or whatever. No big deal.
posted by Cranberry at 12:22 AM on July 26, 2021 [3 favorites]

I've seen it in masses all throughout the US, rural and urban, east coast and west coast and middle of the country. However, I think it's usually more common to just remain seated if you shouldn't be taking communion.

My experience in Catholic churches in Africa and South America is much less extensive so take this with a grain of salt, but I don't recall seeing it there.
posted by sir jective at 12:24 AM on July 26, 2021

I did used to go to Catholic mass in Germany in the 1980s to 2000s and people who did not want to take communion just remained seated.
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:26 AM on July 26, 2021

I did it in a friend's wedding (in 2005) where a number of the wedding party weren't Catholic, and this way we could all go up to where communion was taken and like not mess with the flow of that part of the service.
posted by augustimagination at 12:56 AM on July 26, 2021 [3 favorites]

I remember doing this as a child when joining friends at church in the 90s (west coast Canada, then in Quebec). It seemed pretty common.
posted by third word on a random page at 1:14 AM on July 26, 2021 [1 favorite]

When I go to Catholic services in France I see this. It’s usually kids who haven’t done the first communion sacrament yet. But sometimes adults, I can’t speak to why they do it. Simply staying seated is also an option.
posted by ohio at 1:40 AM on July 26, 2021

Happens in Australia and my own children who haven’t received first communion do it.
posted by Jubey at 1:41 AM on July 26, 2021

At my convent school in the 1980s/1990s this was the default for all children who were either too young to have made their first communion, or who weren't Catholic. That was Birmingham, England. However, I never used to see it at services outside of school. I haven't been a practising Catholic for twenty five years so not sure what current norms are.
posted by Ballad of Peckham Rye at 2:05 AM on July 26, 2021

I did used to go to Catholic mass in Germany in the 1980s to 2000s and people who did not want to take communion just remained seated.

I had a similar experience in Ireland in the same time period. I definitely never noticed anyone going up to the altar but not getting communion.
posted by scorbet at 2:10 AM on July 26, 2021

- I did used to go to Catholic mass in Germany in the 1980s to 2000s and people who did not want to take communion just remained seated.

- I had a similar experience in Ireland in the same time period. I definitely never noticed anyone going up to the altar but not getting communion.

Same in Italy, people not taking communion just remain seated.

Found this online as first hit when googling "remain seated in pew when not taking communion":

Some may wish to receive a blessing from the priest rather than Holy Communion. In this case, approach the priest with your arms crossed over your chest and your head bent. It's important to note that this practice is not recommended by the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, but some churches allow it. If you're not sure, check ahead of time.

But I couldn’t find any official reference with those keywords + "Discipline of the Sacraments" or "Congregation for Divine Worship", at least, there doesn’t seem to be anything specific there about what to do when not taking communion.
posted by bitteschoen at 4:00 AM on July 26, 2021

Catholic, grew up in the US midwest in the 60s, lived my whole life in the midwest plus a year in Germany in the 90s. I literally did not know this was a thing until I started watching online Mass during the pandemic. It's possible people have been doing it all along and I just never noticed. My understanding was always that if you aren't receiving communion, you leave the pew and stand back to let others go forward, then return to your seat and sit or kneel until they come back.

I have noticed that sometimes people who went to Catholic schools seem to have a more complete understanding of details of Mass than people like me who attended public school and went to Catechism classes.
posted by FencingGal at 4:05 AM on July 26, 2021

Husband was instructed to do this in Chicagoland at a wedding he was in as a groomsman and got a blessing. Tried it again in Central Ohio and nearly got the host tossed in his mouth because apparently there it meant "I want communion and don't want to touch the host." So, YMMV, apparently.
posted by damayanti at 4:16 AM on July 26, 2021 [2 favorites]

I remember people doing this, but something else sticks in my mind. When the Nuns (SSJ) went to communion, they would un pin their veil from the top of the head so it fell down, covering the face. On the way to the communion rail, they would cross their arms and bow their heads. Thinking back, that was a bizarre spectacle.
posted by james33 at 4:48 AM on July 26, 2021

I grew up Catholic and attended Catholic school, small-ish town in central Virginia.

I don't recall this being a thing at all. If you weren't taking communion, you stayed seated. (In fact, at my grandfather's funeral mass, the entire row I was sitting in, aunts/uncles/siblings/lapsed Catholics all, stayed seated. We confused my still-Catholic sister who was sitting in the row behind us.)

Thinking about teaching at a Catholic school in Chicago, I don't remember if my non-Catholic students went up for communion to receive a blessing or not. I know I stayed seated. I was apparently focused on whether or not my students were behaving.
posted by Ms Vegetable at 5:22 AM on July 26, 2021

Currently a Eucharistic minister - it's fairly common to see, as others have mentioned. Some folks may stay seated. The practices seem to vary from diocese to diocese, according to the local bishop's guidance.
posted by jquinby at 6:19 AM on July 26, 2021

I dunno about Catholic, but I know they do this at Anglican and Episcopalian churches I have attended.
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:27 AM on July 26, 2021 [3 favorites]

Happens in the UK. If it's a mass when you might expect to have a lot of non-Catholic visitors (eg with baptism, first communion, marriage, funeral) then the priest might announce that it is the custom if you want to receive a blessing. Similarly it might be noted in the mass booklet. I think it's more common where cradle Catholics are not a supermajority so the non-Catholics are likely to be never Catholics rather than just the lapsed (who are probably less inclined to go up and be blessed). People also remain seated if they don't want to go to communion.

I've also seen it at CofE churches - it is in line with their general position of desperately wanting to be welcoming to everyone whilst having a closed communion theological position.

I think it is welcoming and inclusive, especially for people who are relatively unchurched.
posted by plonkee at 6:34 AM on July 26, 2021 [1 favorite]

I (46 yrs old, been a lapsed Catholic for a while now) grew up in northern Virginia, the Philippines, Singapore, and Korea. I don't recall ever seeing this, or being told about it. If you couldn't or didn't wish to go up to receive communion, you just stayed in your seat and scooched back so other people could move past you to get back to their seats when they returned. I've never heard it announced at a wedding or baptism either. I have seen blessings given by the priest when a mom walks up with a child that's clearly too young to have had their first communion, so it makes sense, but the gesture of crossing your arms in the way described isn't something I've seen before.
posted by PussKillian at 6:43 AM on July 26, 2021

But sometimes adults, I can’t speak to why they do it. Simply staying seated is also an option.

One possibility...If you are old-school Catholic, you were taught that one prerequisite to receive the body and blood in Communion is to have recently been to confession. The crossing of arms informs the priest of you not having done so and, thus, he will simply give you a blessing.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:05 AM on July 26, 2021

Grew up Catholic in New Zealand and never saw it until I came to the US (Maryland). Friends who are also immigrants told me the same. We just remained seated if not receiving communion .
posted by gaspode at 7:22 AM on July 26, 2021

A practice I've seen, though, like others, I think it's more common for people simply to remain seated during communion if they don't want to partake.

(Since when do Anglicans have closed communion?)
posted by praemunire at 7:41 AM on July 26, 2021

I grew up Catholic in Massachusetts in the 70s/80s and knew about this venture, but don’t remember noticing it often (as others said, most people just stayed seated). One thing I remember being told was that we weren’t supposed to eat before morning Mass/communion so I thought people not taking communion had eaten breakfast. (We often went to Sat evening Mass, I’m not sure now long before that we were supposed to have not eaten.)
posted by vunder at 7:45 AM on July 26, 2021

Catholic (Jesuit) high school, 1990s in the Western United States. Crossing arms was an option given to us. I did this—because I wanted to fit in, hello teenager thought process—and stopped when I felt like this was exclusive, a way to signal how not-Catholic we non-communion-taking blessees were. Interesting to see it being sold as “inclusive”. That was definitely not my experience.
posted by emkelley at 8:18 AM on July 26, 2021

Seattle here: I've seen this in both Catholic and Episcopalian congregations.

In the Episcopalian congregations, it's used if you are going up to a rail to get the Eucharist. I'd cross my arms when the Blood of Christ came around, as I'm allergic to wine, and it seemed unseemly to leave the rail just after getting the Body of Christ. I'd get a blessing from the Eucharistic minister instead.
posted by spinifex23 at 8:26 AM on July 26, 2021

If you accept that there's an inherent level of exclusivity in any form of restriction on communion-taking, giving people a chance to participate in the physical ritual and be welcomed rather than sitting awkwardly while everyone else gets up and does can be an inclusive gesture. I'm guessing it depends on where you draw the line, and the attitude of the people around you.
posted by praemunire at 8:28 AM on July 26, 2021 [2 favorites]

Catholic in the upper Midwest. I was taught this growing up, every church I've attended (including those at Catholic universities with seminaries) had this happen somewhat regularly, and my child is now taught this in Catholic school in the Midwest. When they go to Mass as a school, the children who aren't eligible for the Eucharist due to age all do this. My husband is not Catholic and does this about half the time, depending on if he feels like getting up.
posted by notjustthefish at 8:40 AM on July 26, 2021

Yes, rather than sitting awkwardly in the pew at weddings and funerals, where people would probably notice and whisper later, I go up and get a blessing this way. I was raised Catholic and even though I am an atheist now, it's still ingrained in me that you cannot accept communion if you haven't been to confession in a long time. In my own head it's also a gesture of respect to the deceased or couple getting married that I participate rather than sitting it out.
posted by kitcat at 8:40 AM on July 26, 2021

Yes it's true. I'm Catholic and I always see people joining the Communion queue for a blessing.
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 8:45 AM on July 26, 2021

I grew up Catholic in suburban NY, went to religion class & did all the sacraments and at no time was not receiving communion at mass an option anyone discussed. For there to be a special thing you did to signal "don't give me communion" was never on the table, you get communion & that's all, or you stay seated. My dad never went up with us to get communion & we just never talked about it. I didn't even know what it meant when it happened in Lady Bird for like a good 30 seconds.
posted by bleep at 9:40 AM on July 26, 2021

Central Ohio and nearly got the host tossed in his mouth because apparently there it meant "I want communion and don't want to touch the host." So, YMMV, apparently

I think there was a shift at some point, in some locales at least. SE Michigan in the 90s, and I remember the priest telling people to do X if they wanted a blessing and Y if they wanted the host placed in their mouth. I can't remember if you held up you hand for a blessing and crossed for the eucharist, or vice versa. They also had a description of what to do in the hymnal and encouraged non-catholic to join the procession and be blessed, iirc.

Reasons for blessing: non-catholic/hadn't had first communion or you felt you couldn't receive the eucharist: you had sinned and hadn't confessed (usually old schoolers who hadn't made it to their weekly confession).

Reasons for not touching: also usually old school Catholics. It used to be you didn't touch the host, possibly because we aren't worthy enough? That was more common when my dad was a kid, so I don't remember the exact reason. I think if you didn't touch it that was just how you rolled, I don't think it was something that related to being a particular level of sinfulness or anything.
posted by ghost phoneme at 9:48 AM on July 26, 2021

This is done in the Episcopal church I go to. All baptized Christians are invited to take Communion in our church. If you are not baptized or don't wish to receive Communion for whatever reason, our service bulletin says you can come up and cross your arms to receive a blessing. I've seen it done a number of times and even substitute priests seem to understand what it means, so I assume it is common.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:58 AM on July 26, 2021

Reasons for not touching: also usually old school Catholics. It used to be you didn't touch the host, possibly because we aren't worthy enough? That was more common when my dad was a kid, so I don't remember the exact reason. I think if you didn't touch it that was just how you rolled, I don't think it was something that related to being a particular level of sinfulness or anything.

When I was growing up in the 60s, only the priest could touch the host, and it was placed directly on the tongue. It had nothing to do with an individual's sinfulness. If you were in a state of serious sin, you just didn't receive Communion until you had gone to Confession. Communion in the hand and lay eucharistic ministers both came later. In fact, altar boys always held patens under the host as the priest brought it to the congregant's mouth - this was to make sure it didn't fall to the ground if the priest dropped it and that no pieces fell to the ground. Only the priest drank the wine. Communion was also taken kneeling at the altar rail then.

In Catholicism, the host is a literally the body of Christ and is thus a sacred object that is to be treated reverently. When told it was a symbol, Flannery O'Connor famously quipped, "If it's a symbol, then the hell with it."
posted by FencingGal at 10:21 AM on July 26, 2021 [3 favorites]

I was raised Catholic and even though I am an atheist now, it's still ingrained in me that you cannot accept communion if you haven't been to confession in a long time.

Not just that--the official Catholic position is that people who are not actual baptized members of the Catholic Church may not partake of Communion.
posted by praemunire at 11:05 AM on July 26, 2021

Not just that--the official Catholic position is that people who are not actual baptized members of the Catholic Church may not partake of Communion.

Is this supposed to be shocking? Catholics believe that the host is literally the body of Christ. When the priest says "the body of Christ" and you say "Amen," you are affirming that belief. It's not OK to play-act at any religion you don't believe in.
posted by FencingGal at 11:43 AM on July 26, 2021 [10 favorites]

Raised Catholic in the 80s/90s, and I observed this being introduced over time alongside female altar servers. I don't know the formal process by which either of these came to be practices that bishops could opt their dioceses into, though. I don't associate either with Vatican II reforms, but I don't imagine that the more conservative leadership of the Church from the late 70s onward would've initiated it, either. But anyway, it gradually became a thing in the 1990s from my vantage point.
posted by kensington314 at 2:44 PM on July 26, 2021

Is this supposed to be shocking? Catholics believe that the host is literally the body of Christ. When the priest says "the body of Christ" and you say "Amen," you are affirming that belief. It's not OK to play-act at any religion you don't believe in.

So, you think my mom, who by the way was raised Catholic, and has taken Communion well over a thousand times at Episcopalian services which use virtually identical language, but who doesn't believe in transubstantiation, has been play-acting at being a Christian all this time? Do you even know when that doctrine was invented and adopted? You think every Christian, every historical Catholic, who's not an Aristotelian but takes Communion, is or was play-acting at their religion? Do you think that the many other denominations which welcome all baptized Christians to take Communion regardless of their beliefs re: transubstantiation just don't give a shit about whether people are faking their religion?

Yes. Many people in fact do find it shocking that Catholics would have the arrogance to bar other baptized, professed Christians from the table of the Lord. But even the Catholic Church itself doesn't give as an explanation that for a non-Catholic Christian to take Communion at a Catholic Mass would be "play-acting at their religion." Good Lord.
posted by praemunire at 5:09 PM on July 26, 2021

Grew up in Cleveland in the 80s-90s. Went to college in Youngstown and grad school in Austin. Mid 2000s moved to S. Korea. Never saw it in any of those places.
posted by kathrynm at 5:37 PM on July 26, 2021

Born and raised Catholic in MN, and was an altar boy for many years. I almost never saw this in practice during normal services. You went to normal Sunday Catholic Mass because... you were Catholic. Before kids were able to receive the sacrament, we just stayed in our seats. Sometimes parents would carry their toddlers or infants up to avoid leaving them alone in the pew, and after serving communion to the parent the priest would often give a quick blessing to the child as well.

Where arm crossing did commonly occur was when a wedding or funeral included a full mass service. Typically, knowing there may be family and friends from other faiths present, when it came time the priest would briefly explain the communion process, and offer guests who are not Catholic but would like to receive a blessing to join the line and do exactly this.

Caveat: I have not regularly attended a normal Sunday Mass services in the last 20 years or so, and a LOT has changed in that time.
posted by SquidLips at 6:18 PM on July 26, 2021

I grew up Protestant, but went to Catholic high school. This was the Boston area, late 80s, early 90s. I was told at school that I could do this during our weekly mass and I think I did it once or twice. I ended up feeling super awkward. No one else did it and sometimes it felt like people didn't know what to do with me and my folded arms. I just stay in my seat now when I am at a Catholic Church.
posted by jdl at 8:35 PM on July 26, 2021

So, you think my mom, who by the way was raised Catholic, and has taken Communion well over a thousand times at Episcopalian services which use virtually identical language, but who doesn't believe in transubstantiation, has been play-acting at being a Christian all this time?

A person can definitely be a Christian without believing Catholic theology, but they cannot participate in a ritual affirmation of belief in Catholic theology without either believing Catholic theology or making a mockery of the ritual. I have no idea what Episcopalians or other churches believe they are doing when they take Communion.

As for when this doctrine was adopted, are you asking about the fundamental meaning of the Eucharist, or when they started letting non-Catholics participate?
in addition to being in a most grave and unusual situation, the law of the Church says that Protestants who want to receive [Communion] need to believe what the Church teaches about the Eucharist — that it is the real sacramental presence of Jesus Christ, with the appearance of bread and wine.
This permission was first promulgated in 1967. Before that, the Church’s law did not permit Catholic ministers to administer the Eucharist to non-Catholic Christians under even those circumstances.
Of course, it is still very explicitly against Church teachings for someone who is not Catholic to take Communion when they are not both dying/in danger and in agreement with transubstantiation.
posted by bashing rocks together at 9:23 PM on July 26, 2021 [2 favorites]

So, you think my mom, who by the way was raised Catholic, and has taken Communion well over a thousand times at Episcopalian services which use virtually identical language, but who doesn't believe in transubstantiation, has been play-acting at being a Christian all this time?

Not at all. People who are not Catholic can believe whatever they want about communion and still be Christian. I'm saying that a person who participates in Catholic communion without being Catholic is play-acting at being Catholic, not Christian.

Do you think that the many other denominations which welcome all baptized Christians to take Communion regardless of their beliefs re: transubstantiation just don't give a shit about whether people are faking their religion?

Again, no, and I don't understand how you came to this conclusion from what I said, which focused entirely on the beliefs of Catholics.

Closed communion is not just a Catholic thing. Many denominations practice it, including some that don't believe in transubstantiation. I'm not sure what their rationale is, but I would expect all decent people to respect it.
posted by FencingGal at 4:22 AM on July 27, 2021 [2 favorites]

I did it in a friend's wedding (in 2005) where a number of the wedding party weren't Catholic, and this way we could all go up to where communion was taken and like not mess with the flow of that part of the service.

Same. I'm Jewish, definitely did not want to take Communion, but my raised-Catholic partner did so we went up together and I crossed my arms. This was in New York in the early aughts.
posted by jessamyn at 6:06 PM on July 27, 2021

I learned the crossed arms gesture for not taking communion at my Catholic summer camp in the Pacific Northwest in the 1980s and 1990s. I think they presumed that a large number of kids there weren't Catholic but wouldn't want to draw attention to themselves at that part of mass. I've also seen people do it at regular masses when slightly sick (but not enough to warrant staying home). I haven't been Catholic in awhile, so this is mostly from back then.
posted by blueberry monster at 11:13 AM on August 2, 2021