dog to-do list
June 3, 2021 4:44 AM Subscribe
Hi AskMe! I have a long-term goal: to be in a position to have a dog after 3 years. What are the things I need to line up and have in place? I've started to make a checklist below the fold plus some questions I'm chewing over. What am I missing?
Currently I don't think I am in a position to have a dog because:
(1) I live in a small apartment with a tiny yard
(2) I have no local support network at all (I have friends but they don't live near me and they all have their own lives and problems to deal with. No partner and low possibility of acquiring one.)
(3) I travel internationally multiple times a year (of course, during Covid I haven't been able to)
(4) I don't have a dog savings fund sufficiently built up.
So what I'm thinking is:
(1) I plan to move in the next year or so anyway. I will prioritise a place with a big to medium size garden so that a medium size pooch would have some outdoor space to hang out in. (Not to replace walks, obviously, but just so that they had a bit of space to burn off energy.)
(2) I will maintain my current working schedule of going into office 2 days a week. The rest of the time I will be home. I will take up to 2 weeks off work to get the dog settled in and start house-training etc.
(3) I will save up enough money to a. pay for a licensed professional dog-walker to come in on the days that I work in the office, who can also board the dog when I am out of the country; and b. for ongoing dog expenses, e.g. food, vet, pet insurance etc.
First question: What am I missing here?
Although I grew up with dogs and like dogs a lot, I do not know what sort of dog I should get, or whether I should get an adult dog or a puppy. When I was a child, our family had a Lhasa Apso mix who was The Best Dog: loyal and affectionate but also independent and totally unfussed to be left alone, polite to guests, trustworthy with children, quiet, intelligent, without any problematic behaviours, so my instinct to be to go for a similar type, but I don't really know that much about dog breeds and I also feel guilty about considering a specific breed anyway. I would like a loving dog companion but not one that gets super anxious when I leave the house without it because realistically there will be times when I'll have to leave it alone at home, e.g. when I go to work. Also, realistically, I can give it two 45min-1 hour walks a day at a maximum. I am not a hugely physically active person, this would be a big stretch for me but I'd do it because I will love my dog. Thoughts on type of dog would be welcome.
We also had all our dogs from puppyhood and they were really well-socialised and used to being handled and being in many different situations, and I don't know if I feel confident adopting an adult from a shelter with an unknown past, but at the same time I know there are so many adult dogs who need homes. I feel worried about my capability to handle a dog with 'issues' especially an adult. I would feel more confident with a puppy whom I could get used to many different situations while it was still small, transportable and malleable. But they are extremely hard work! And I wouldn't have anyone to help me! So I worry about that side of things too. Thoughts on this?
Finally: I would appreciate some training resources and advice on how to prepare myself to be a dog guardian. I feel like I need to interact with dogs more as preparation for getting my own but I have no idea how to do this. Only one of my friends owns a dog that I regularly see. I regularly check to see if any animal shelters near me have volunteering opportunities for people wishing to work with dogs but nothing ever comes up. According to the rules of most places I've checked, in order to be able to foster a dog you need to be able to drive and I don't drive. Plus I am not confident, as I said before, of my ability to care for a rescue with 'issues'; and most dogs in need of foster care do have behaviour issues.
Please don't recommend that I get a cat. I don't hate them and I even like giving them a scritch but I cannot share my living space with one; I find them frightening and unpredictable. Please don't judge me.
Other things to consider: I am physically not very strong, so don't think I could handle a big, strong dog.
Currently I don't think I am in a position to have a dog because:
(1) I live in a small apartment with a tiny yard
(2) I have no local support network at all (I have friends but they don't live near me and they all have their own lives and problems to deal with. No partner and low possibility of acquiring one.)
(3) I travel internationally multiple times a year (of course, during Covid I haven't been able to)
(4) I don't have a dog savings fund sufficiently built up.
So what I'm thinking is:
(1) I plan to move in the next year or so anyway. I will prioritise a place with a big to medium size garden so that a medium size pooch would have some outdoor space to hang out in. (Not to replace walks, obviously, but just so that they had a bit of space to burn off energy.)
(2) I will maintain my current working schedule of going into office 2 days a week. The rest of the time I will be home. I will take up to 2 weeks off work to get the dog settled in and start house-training etc.
(3) I will save up enough money to a. pay for a licensed professional dog-walker to come in on the days that I work in the office, who can also board the dog when I am out of the country; and b. for ongoing dog expenses, e.g. food, vet, pet insurance etc.
First question: What am I missing here?
Although I grew up with dogs and like dogs a lot, I do not know what sort of dog I should get, or whether I should get an adult dog or a puppy. When I was a child, our family had a Lhasa Apso mix who was The Best Dog: loyal and affectionate but also independent and totally unfussed to be left alone, polite to guests, trustworthy with children, quiet, intelligent, without any problematic behaviours, so my instinct to be to go for a similar type, but I don't really know that much about dog breeds and I also feel guilty about considering a specific breed anyway. I would like a loving dog companion but not one that gets super anxious when I leave the house without it because realistically there will be times when I'll have to leave it alone at home, e.g. when I go to work. Also, realistically, I can give it two 45min-1 hour walks a day at a maximum. I am not a hugely physically active person, this would be a big stretch for me but I'd do it because I will love my dog. Thoughts on type of dog would be welcome.
We also had all our dogs from puppyhood and they were really well-socialised and used to being handled and being in many different situations, and I don't know if I feel confident adopting an adult from a shelter with an unknown past, but at the same time I know there are so many adult dogs who need homes. I feel worried about my capability to handle a dog with 'issues' especially an adult. I would feel more confident with a puppy whom I could get used to many different situations while it was still small, transportable and malleable. But they are extremely hard work! And I wouldn't have anyone to help me! So I worry about that side of things too. Thoughts on this?
Finally: I would appreciate some training resources and advice on how to prepare myself to be a dog guardian. I feel like I need to interact with dogs more as preparation for getting my own but I have no idea how to do this. Only one of my friends owns a dog that I regularly see. I regularly check to see if any animal shelters near me have volunteering opportunities for people wishing to work with dogs but nothing ever comes up. According to the rules of most places I've checked, in order to be able to foster a dog you need to be able to drive and I don't drive. Plus I am not confident, as I said before, of my ability to care for a rescue with 'issues'; and most dogs in need of foster care do have behaviour issues.
Please don't recommend that I get a cat. I don't hate them and I even like giving them a scritch but I cannot share my living space with one; I find them frightening and unpredictable. Please don't judge me.
Other things to consider: I am physically not very strong, so don't think I could handle a big, strong dog.
Even if they don't change, #1-3 are all manageable with the right planning and choice of breed, plus some extra money to occasionally hire someone for something like walking or boarding. #4 is the biggest issue. A dog emergency fund is important but also keep in mind it needs to be part of your ongoing budget from now on, not just funds saved up in advance, because you'll definitely need to use the fund and replace it at some point.
Make sure you're accurately estimating monthly costs for a dog, including things like treats, chews and toys - try to find some real life budget examples because those costs are often more than expected. Also even with pet insurance you'll need money for medical expenses - most don't cover routine vet visits and heartworm/tick meds (a reliable several hundred per year), plus there's a deductible ($1,000 per medical issue in my case) and many exclude various things. I'm really glad I waited until I had a lot of extra space in my budget before getting a dog, because I definitely needed it.
The breed choice (or choice to adopt) really depends on what you want in a dog. A small companion breed like a Lhasa Apso does sound like it'd fit your lifestyle well, but so would many breeds aside from high-energy and working breeds. If you don't have a strong preference for a breed I'd suggest looking at the rescue/shelter options near you first and see if one of those dogs would fit well into your life. A foster-based rescue will be better than a shelter at showing you the dog's real personality, but are usually pickier about who adopts so that can be frustrating.
Keep in mind rescues do have both puppies and adults, but puppies will be in much higher demand and in some places even adults are hard to get unless they have major behaviour problems that you definitely don't want as an inexperienced owner. Raising a puppy is rewarding but you really need to have the time and energy to do it properly or you'll have a lot of trouble later on. Whether you're up for the job is really only something you can decide. If you do go the puppy route I highly recommend the puppy 101 subreddit - I learned an incredible amount from the wiki and discussion there. If you go with a breeder please research first how to identify a reputable breeder to avoid accidentally supporting a puppy mill (they aren't nearly as obvious as you'd think), for example a reputable breeder will always have proof that the parents have all the required health tests for that breed.
posted by randomnity at 5:22 AM on June 3, 2021
Make sure you're accurately estimating monthly costs for a dog, including things like treats, chews and toys - try to find some real life budget examples because those costs are often more than expected. Also even with pet insurance you'll need money for medical expenses - most don't cover routine vet visits and heartworm/tick meds (a reliable several hundred per year), plus there's a deductible ($1,000 per medical issue in my case) and many exclude various things. I'm really glad I waited until I had a lot of extra space in my budget before getting a dog, because I definitely needed it.
The breed choice (or choice to adopt) really depends on what you want in a dog. A small companion breed like a Lhasa Apso does sound like it'd fit your lifestyle well, but so would many breeds aside from high-energy and working breeds. If you don't have a strong preference for a breed I'd suggest looking at the rescue/shelter options near you first and see if one of those dogs would fit well into your life. A foster-based rescue will be better than a shelter at showing you the dog's real personality, but are usually pickier about who adopts so that can be frustrating.
Keep in mind rescues do have both puppies and adults, but puppies will be in much higher demand and in some places even adults are hard to get unless they have major behaviour problems that you definitely don't want as an inexperienced owner. Raising a puppy is rewarding but you really need to have the time and energy to do it properly or you'll have a lot of trouble later on. Whether you're up for the job is really only something you can decide. If you do go the puppy route I highly recommend the puppy 101 subreddit - I learned an incredible amount from the wiki and discussion there. If you go with a breeder please research first how to identify a reputable breeder to avoid accidentally supporting a puppy mill (they aren't nearly as obvious as you'd think), for example a reputable breeder will always have proof that the parents have all the required health tests for that breed.
posted by randomnity at 5:22 AM on June 3, 2021
Agreed that you should consider transportation for vet visits. I would also get a couple of good books on dogs and dog training. My dogs have all learned quickly through positive reinforcement.
I always tell people who are interested in dogs to check out all of the resources that Patricia McConnell has at her learning center. You can also read her blog the other end of the leash for lots of good insight into living and working with dogs.
As far as your concerns about getting the right kind of dog for you, I strongly advise you to connect with the staff at your local shelters and tell them what you are looking for in a dog. There are many adult rescue dogs who have little to no behavioral issues (I have one and he's an absolute dream of a dog. My first rescue was similarly perfect in every way). There are, however, many purebred dogs with serious behavior and health issues. Never choose a dog based on looks or pedigree. The people who work with the dogs at your local shelters will be able to point you towards a dog that is likely to be a good fit for you. That being said, dogs are dogs. Be prepared for issues to arise.
You should get a dog! You seem much more prepared than many dog owners I have known over the years.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 5:22 AM on June 3, 2021 [4 favorites]
I always tell people who are interested in dogs to check out all of the resources that Patricia McConnell has at her learning center. You can also read her blog the other end of the leash for lots of good insight into living and working with dogs.
As far as your concerns about getting the right kind of dog for you, I strongly advise you to connect with the staff at your local shelters and tell them what you are looking for in a dog. There are many adult rescue dogs who have little to no behavioral issues (I have one and he's an absolute dream of a dog. My first rescue was similarly perfect in every way). There are, however, many purebred dogs with serious behavior and health issues. Never choose a dog based on looks or pedigree. The people who work with the dogs at your local shelters will be able to point you towards a dog that is likely to be a good fit for you. That being said, dogs are dogs. Be prepared for issues to arise.
You should get a dog! You seem much more prepared than many dog owners I have known over the years.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 5:22 AM on June 3, 2021 [4 favorites]
I don't have stats on 2 dogs yet, but my first dog has no ongoing health problems and has only had very minor injuries/ear infections as scares. I do not have pet health insurance (it's kind of a racket imo). I don't travel so I don't have boarding fees, I don't hire a dog walker. Between dental and regular vet care, regular maintenance, treats and toys, dog 1 costs about $1500-2000 a year. I expect this number to slowly creep up as he ages.
The new guy had really bad teeth but the rescue did a dental on him before adoption so that saved me a pile of money. He's also on two anti anxiety drugs which will be an additional cost, but the rescue gave me a full half year supply of them so I won't have to worry about that for a while. I'm projecting costs for him to be about the same.
Different grooming needs is something to consider into cost as well. Neither of my dogs requires professional grooming to stay comfortable and healthy. Other breed types certainly do.
(As an aside, Android, why the heck are you autocorrecting to "dog's"???? No one wants that!!)
posted by phunniemee at 5:37 AM on June 3, 2021
The new guy had really bad teeth but the rescue did a dental on him before adoption so that saved me a pile of money. He's also on two anti anxiety drugs which will be an additional cost, but the rescue gave me a full half year supply of them so I won't have to worry about that for a while. I'm projecting costs for him to be about the same.
Different grooming needs is something to consider into cost as well. Neither of my dogs requires professional grooming to stay comfortable and healthy. Other breed types certainly do.
(As an aside, Android, why the heck are you autocorrecting to "dog's"???? No one wants that!!)
posted by phunniemee at 5:37 AM on June 3, 2021
I highly recommend a shih tzu. Also zac george's book/YouTube videos about training with positive reinforcement.
posted by bookworm4125 at 6:37 AM on June 3, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by bookworm4125 at 6:37 AM on June 3, 2021 [1 favorite]
You might want a yard for your own reasons, but if you’re able to really commit to two long walks a day, I don’t think a dog needs one. I’m an apartment dweller, I had a dog for fifteen years in an apartment, and I know plenty of people who have apartment dogs. House training is a worse hassle than if you have a yard, but other than that it’s not a problem at all.
posted by LizardBreath at 6:47 AM on June 3, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by LizardBreath at 6:47 AM on June 3, 2021 [5 favorites]
Dogs vary in toys they like, my dog adored tennis balls to the near exclusion of other toys. You might look for someone local who will do dog care if you need to travel. Most dogs don't need a big house, and even a small yard/ garden is fine. One of many reasons to adopt a shelter dog is that young dogs need the most exercise, adult dogs chew less and need less exercise. I adopted one middle-aged dog who had a great personality, was still trainable, but also really laid back.
posted by theora55 at 6:47 AM on June 3, 2021
posted by theora55 at 6:47 AM on June 3, 2021
I've got a great dane and a toy poodle. As someone that lives in a smaller space, I would heartily recommend them both.
Don't forget about teeth maintenance. If there was one thing I would do differently it's starting a dental regimine earlier.
posted by coldbabyshrimp at 6:47 AM on June 3, 2021
Don't forget about teeth maintenance. If there was one thing I would do differently it's starting a dental regimine earlier.
posted by coldbabyshrimp at 6:47 AM on June 3, 2021
You sound more prepared than the vast majority of people who get a dog, which is fantastic!
I have two pups, and while I own my home, I also travel a lot, so I'll address that part. Usually (especially as my 17-year-old dog moves into dementia) I prefer to have someone come to stay in my house to watch the dogs when I'm traveling so their routine is as undisturbed as possible. I've used friends, but also had great luck with rover.com. It was especially good when I lived close to the land grant university, because I was able to get college students who were so glad to have a weekend with dogs and away from roommates. In many cases, I was even able to get veterinary students which was a huge piece of mind (my dogs' regular vet is also at the vet school, so that was also a bonus.) I have everything about their routines/care in a google doc that I put right on my rover.com profile and shared with the sitters. Many were kind of shocked by this initially, but were really appreciative of it because I tried to make it so they didn't have to remember anything.
When I was in the process of selling my old house and buying a new one, and also traveling, I had to board them. I had to do quite a bit of research into boarding facilities to find one that doesn't push the group play aspect during the day (one of my dogs cannot stand other dogs and just barely tolerates her brother) but once I found one, they have been a lifesaver. So that's another thing to maybe research. The one I found that I love is unfortunately outside the city on the opposite side from the airport, so it's an annoyance, but worth it. Transportation is a thing for that though.
You might enjoy the show It's Me or the Dog with Victoria Stillwell. They are uploading all the episodes to YouTube. Her approach to training really gels with me and I've learned a lot just having it on the background.
posted by pixiecrinkle at 6:54 AM on June 3, 2021
I have two pups, and while I own my home, I also travel a lot, so I'll address that part. Usually (especially as my 17-year-old dog moves into dementia) I prefer to have someone come to stay in my house to watch the dogs when I'm traveling so their routine is as undisturbed as possible. I've used friends, but also had great luck with rover.com. It was especially good when I lived close to the land grant university, because I was able to get college students who were so glad to have a weekend with dogs and away from roommates. In many cases, I was even able to get veterinary students which was a huge piece of mind (my dogs' regular vet is also at the vet school, so that was also a bonus.) I have everything about their routines/care in a google doc that I put right on my rover.com profile and shared with the sitters. Many were kind of shocked by this initially, but were really appreciative of it because I tried to make it so they didn't have to remember anything.
When I was in the process of selling my old house and buying a new one, and also traveling, I had to board them. I had to do quite a bit of research into boarding facilities to find one that doesn't push the group play aspect during the day (one of my dogs cannot stand other dogs and just barely tolerates her brother) but once I found one, they have been a lifesaver. So that's another thing to maybe research. The one I found that I love is unfortunately outside the city on the opposite side from the airport, so it's an annoyance, but worth it. Transportation is a thing for that though.
You might enjoy the show It's Me or the Dog with Victoria Stillwell. They are uploading all the episodes to YouTube. Her approach to training really gels with me and I've learned a lot just having it on the background.
posted by pixiecrinkle at 6:54 AM on June 3, 2021
Something to consider: I have fostered a lot of rescue dogs with behavior problems, and all but one was STILL less difficult than the perfectly normal puppies I fostered. Puppies are a LOT of work. And I got my permanent dog as a puppy and even though I put in all the work to socialize him etc., he still doesn't like strangers or other dogs; sometimes that is just a personality thing. Point being that getting a puppy doesn't guarantee you'll end up with a "better" dog in the long run; adult dogs can even make it clearer as to what you're getting.
If you prefer a puppy, go for it, but be aware that the reasons you cite for it might not be entirely accurate.
posted by metasarah at 7:02 AM on June 3, 2021 [11 favorites]
If you prefer a puppy, go for it, but be aware that the reasons you cite for it might not be entirely accurate.
posted by metasarah at 7:02 AM on June 3, 2021 [11 favorites]
I had a dog when growing up, too! A friend of mine is dating someone who wants the kind of dog they had when they were a kid. This is how I learned that a dog that is good for a family with kids may also be the kind of dog that has infinite energy.
Get a cat-sized dog. They cost less. Heartworm pills for a 1-25-lb dog? I get to break them in half. My dog will lose control of their bladder without the expensive dog food? At least they don't eat much. The free sample packs are an abundance of dog treats. Found a cat house with electric warming bedding in a free pile? That'll fit my dog, too. Etc.
Here are some dog book recommendations. These books came from the library and gave me a lot of good tips for how to interact successfully with a dog. They came in especially handy when my dog came perfectly pre-trained and I was like ¿how do I communicate with my dog about this thing they already know how to do? How do I get them to stop doing that thing that doesn't work for me without ruining our relationship? And what else do they know?!
posted by aniola at 9:00 AM on June 3, 2021
Get a cat-sized dog. They cost less. Heartworm pills for a 1-25-lb dog? I get to break them in half. My dog will lose control of their bladder without the expensive dog food? At least they don't eat much. The free sample packs are an abundance of dog treats. Found a cat house with electric warming bedding in a free pile? That'll fit my dog, too. Etc.
Here are some dog book recommendations. These books came from the library and gave me a lot of good tips for how to interact successfully with a dog. They came in especially handy when my dog came perfectly pre-trained and I was like ¿how do I communicate with my dog about this thing they already know how to do? How do I get them to stop doing that thing that doesn't work for me without ruining our relationship? And what else do they know?!
posted by aniola at 9:00 AM on June 3, 2021
As someone with a new rescue with a completely different personality than my last, I recommend adopting a dog with a known personality, fostering is a good way to do this. I’m like you in terms of personal energy levels, and I didn’t spend enough time thinking about those deeper aspects of our new rescue’s personality since we just did a meet and greet and took him home a few days later.
My last dog didn’t need much entertainment and could go up to 7 hours without going out, but my new dog would not be happy to just sit around all day alone or even with us working from home, with only a dog walker to break up the day. I’m thinking about sending him to doggy daycare to tire him out, but the $$$ will add up quickly for that.
Brushing up on Force Free/positive training concepts ahead of time will be helpful.
As you move, think about how the neighbors and neighborhood can affect your dog’s environment...this can mean a number of things but my example is that my neighbor lets his dog off leash and the dog comes up to our gate and distracts my dog. They’re always outside after work and so it limits how much I can enjoyably be outside with my dog at that time.
posted by hellogoodbye at 2:03 PM on June 3, 2021
My last dog didn’t need much entertainment and could go up to 7 hours without going out, but my new dog would not be happy to just sit around all day alone or even with us working from home, with only a dog walker to break up the day. I’m thinking about sending him to doggy daycare to tire him out, but the $$$ will add up quickly for that.
Brushing up on Force Free/positive training concepts ahead of time will be helpful.
As you move, think about how the neighbors and neighborhood can affect your dog’s environment...this can mean a number of things but my example is that my neighbor lets his dog off leash and the dog comes up to our gate and distracts my dog. They’re always outside after work and so it limits how much I can enjoyably be outside with my dog at that time.
posted by hellogoodbye at 2:03 PM on June 3, 2021
no matter what you do/when you do it, get established with a vet first thing.
posted by megan_magnolia at 4:29 PM on June 4, 2021
posted by megan_magnolia at 4:29 PM on June 4, 2021
This thread is closed to new comments.
About 10 years ago I had just moved into a nice big apartment with no roommates, and before I signed the lease I made sure my landlord would allow a puppy, eventually. Non negotiable.
I knew I wanted a border terrier after taking many dog quizzes and doing lots of research. They are small, tough, and have very few health problems for being a small breed. I had been calling around to breeders in the great lakes area for a year and was on a waiting list with the best one (the one other breeders recommended) for a "pet quality" dog from her next litter. I wanted a puppy and a purebred of a specific breed because I had never had a dog or any pet before in my life, and I wanted set milestones of expectations and someone I could call (the breeder) at any time to ask "is this normal oh god what do I do." This was absolutely the correct choice for me at that time.
Months before the puppy came home I started building up a little hope chest of supplies and getting my apartment dog ready. It looked like a dog lived there (minus the mess ha) before any dog lived there. Then my puppy came home!! My breeder litter box trains all her dog's, so he came to me already knowing how to do his business in a box. This was extremely helpful for me who lived alone and worked full time, and also just generally for apartment life. He is 9 years old now.
Just in April I adopted my second dog. Once again I had been waiting for a long time to make that decision. I moved into a house with a fenced yard last year and it was time. The new guy is 9 years old, a toy mutt, with lots of anxiety. This would have been a bad first dog owner experience (though to be fair, PAWS would not have allowed a first dog owner to adopt this guy). He is absolutely the right dog for me now, as a person who can offer a quiet stable home and lots of patience and experience with dogs. But he's going to take a lot more work and patience before he's ok to be around other people, and he may never be fully comfortable. But that's something I can work with in my life today.
Since your timescale is so long, I think it would be a good idea to get hooked up with a rescue org where you live for a regular volunteer gig. You'll get to meet lots of different dogs at different stages of life and needs. You'll get an idea of what you can handle and what dog will be the right match for you. I imagine volunteer opportunities will open back up as people get back to work, etc. But I'm kind of shocked they don't even need people to walk dogs?? That's always needed. You can also just go and hang out at public dog parks and pet the good boys. Tell people you're thinking about getting a dog and can they tell you about their dog? Dog people love to talk about their dogs.
I don't think it's particularly unethical to get a puppy from a breeder as long as you are extremely informed on the breeder and the breed doesn't perpetuate health conditions that worsen a dog's quality of life. I went to visit my breeder several times before getting one of her dogs. I was in her home, walked all over her property, met my dog's mother and father and aunts and uncles. It would have been impossible for her to hide bad behavior. I am also extremely pro adopting adult rescues! The dog world is a land of contrast! Basically what I'm saying is whatever choice you make, go into it with eyes wide open and don't let other people give you shit about it later.
I see that you don't drive. I could not have my dog's if I didn't have a car, and I live in a city with transit. I suppose I could Uber everywhere, but there have been so many vet trips, and even going overnight with a dog there's just so much STUFF, I personally could not own a dog responsibly without also having a car. That may be something to consider over your next couple years.
posted by phunniemee at 5:15 AM on June 3, 2021 [5 favorites]