Simple ways to increase daily joy, COVID edition
May 25, 2021 4:56 PM Subscribe
Several recent posts on the Blue have talked about the trauma of and around COVID-19, and the transition to whatever it is that comes next. I'm looking for small, practical things I can do to decrease my sense of hypervigilance about COVID and increase my openness to joy/hope/optimism.
I am already spending time in the garden, and going for daily walks, and letting myself read more. Getting vaccinated helped! Still, I feel frozen in anxiety and worry, and am looking for little ways to...thaw? Is there something--a practice, a small treat, an encouraging phrase you repeat to yourself--that's helping you feel less vigilant, and more comfortable with daily living right now, knowing that the pandemic continues?
I am already spending time in the garden, and going for daily walks, and letting myself read more. Getting vaccinated helped! Still, I feel frozen in anxiety and worry, and am looking for little ways to...thaw? Is there something--a practice, a small treat, an encouraging phrase you repeat to yourself--that's helping you feel less vigilant, and more comfortable with daily living right now, knowing that the pandemic continues?
Assuming your vaccinated, going to target mask-free was very cathartic.
posted by bbqturtle at 5:28 PM on May 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by bbqturtle at 5:28 PM on May 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
In another life I would have pooh-pooh'ed this, and the words "woo-woo" would have escaped my lips-- but the hypnotic videos designed to lull you to sleep really made a lot of difference wrt quality of life to me. I like the ones put out by Mindful Movement. Here is one (this one is about healing).
posted by Rumi'sLeftSock at 5:31 PM on May 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Rumi'sLeftSock at 5:31 PM on May 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
None of these are COVID-specific, but I recently started doing YouTube yoga classes again, I ordered some "stim" toys (knockoff Koosh ball! cute squishy thing!) for when work winds me up, and I'm paying skilled people to handle some one-off problems that I could solve myself but only with much stress and unhappiness. I'm also thinking about my summer wardrobe and my post-vax haircut, doing a little glow-up.
I've had my jabs and am waiting out the two weeks afterward and switched to wearing the dinky surgical style masks rather than the more effective ones that are hot and spike my anxiety. I'll probably continue to wear these in stores because workers can't know whether I'm vaccinated. I'm also very much looking forward to seeing friends and starting to make plans.
posted by momus_window at 5:52 PM on May 25, 2021 [2 favorites]
I've had my jabs and am waiting out the two weeks afterward and switched to wearing the dinky surgical style masks rather than the more effective ones that are hot and spike my anxiety. I'll probably continue to wear these in stores because workers can't know whether I'm vaccinated. I'm also very much looking forward to seeing friends and starting to make plans.
posted by momus_window at 5:52 PM on May 25, 2021 [2 favorites]
I know what you mean. I don't know where you are, but the unmasking moment is big from what I have heard. The moment you walk into a supermarket with your mask on and realize mostly everyone has left theirs off and oh my god, you can too.
It has not happened here yet. I have one mask in my car now (not a dozen) and a little sanitizer (which I no longer use but keep as a talisman.)
People seem friendlier, more relaxed. More eye contact in grocery stores, more joking.
It's going to take a bit but then I think of that Simpsons episode where Homer was going to die and then the dawn crested and he knew he would live and he said 'from this day forward I will not take life for granted!!!' and then cut to Homer on the couch, watching golf and shoveling chips into his mouth.
TL/DR: a little bit at a time, tentatively, and then all at once.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:53 PM on May 25, 2021 [4 favorites]
It has not happened here yet. I have one mask in my car now (not a dozen) and a little sanitizer (which I no longer use but keep as a talisman.)
People seem friendlier, more relaxed. More eye contact in grocery stores, more joking.
It's going to take a bit but then I think of that Simpsons episode where Homer was going to die and then the dawn crested and he knew he would live and he said 'from this day forward I will not take life for granted!!!' and then cut to Homer on the couch, watching golf and shoveling chips into his mouth.
TL/DR: a little bit at a time, tentatively, and then all at once.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:53 PM on May 25, 2021 [4 favorites]
1. I am tracking the numbers of vaccinated people in my county every couple of days. i live in place with vaccination rates are high and increase my sense of safety to see them going up.
2. Begin to allow yourself to do thing differently - particularly with regard to being around other people - just one or two to start with but allow yourself a hug, maybe maskless, maybe eating or drinking together. For me, having small safe experiences that gently expand my comfort zone into things that I know logically are safe make all the difference.
3. I decided that I don't need to wipe down my groceries. I celebrate coming home and just putting groceries away BECAUSE IT IS SAFE.
posted by metahawk at 5:54 PM on May 25, 2021
2. Begin to allow yourself to do thing differently - particularly with regard to being around other people - just one or two to start with but allow yourself a hug, maybe maskless, maybe eating or drinking together. For me, having small safe experiences that gently expand my comfort zone into things that I know logically are safe make all the difference.
3. I decided that I don't need to wipe down my groceries. I celebrate coming home and just putting groceries away BECAUSE IT IS SAFE.
posted by metahawk at 5:54 PM on May 25, 2021
The thing that changed a lot for me, to be totally honest, was flying to another city to help my mother and not getting the virus, then when I got back, overdoing it on drinks my first night out dancing, with various untoward effects that were less than enjoyable but nonetheless did not kill me. I've recognized my reduced tolerance and cut back since then, and my friends and I are supporting each other in that (I wasn't the only one who overdid it due to anxiety and not knowing my limits anymore). But knowing that taking my mask off to throw up in the presence of others didn't lead to my getting the virus, and that the other events of that night thankfully didn't kill me, even when I wasn't totally in control, was bizarrely freeing in a big way. It's like I fell into the arms of the universe (and my friends' arms), and they lifted me up. I can't recommend it, of course, but that is what helped for me, just letting go and directly experiencing that it was OK. I've been out dancing once a weekend since then, 5 weeks in a row, and it's been so good and confidence-building to reinhabit my body and dance for hours and come out fine every time.
posted by limeonaire at 6:59 PM on May 25, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by limeonaire at 6:59 PM on May 25, 2021 [2 favorites]
Still, I feel frozen in anxiety and worry, and am looking for little ways to...thaw?
I still wear masks indoors because I want to make other people comfortable a lot of the time, but I've stopped wearing my mask outdoors if I am not (too) close to people. You slowly get used to it, but it's weird. Think about going inside some places that are low risk, maybe ones where most people will be wearing masks (think a thrift store or the library). Have a friend over who you would have previously only been outdoors with. Maybe spend a little of your lucky-I'm-vaxed social capital helping out other people who are still living with challenges. Sometimes when I need to feel gratitude, I participate in acts of service and that helps jumpstart my own internal gratitude machine. I stopped washing my hands as much. I let myself go into a store now even if I only need a single thing.
posted by jessamyn at 7:35 PM on May 25, 2021 [4 favorites]
I still wear masks indoors because I want to make other people comfortable a lot of the time, but I've stopped wearing my mask outdoors if I am not (too) close to people. You slowly get used to it, but it's weird. Think about going inside some places that are low risk, maybe ones where most people will be wearing masks (think a thrift store or the library). Have a friend over who you would have previously only been outdoors with. Maybe spend a little of your lucky-I'm-vaxed social capital helping out other people who are still living with challenges. Sometimes when I need to feel gratitude, I participate in acts of service and that helps jumpstart my own internal gratitude machine. I stopped washing my hands as much. I let myself go into a store now even if I only need a single thing.
posted by jessamyn at 7:35 PM on May 25, 2021 [4 favorites]
I’ve started going on walks WITH FRIENDS, vaccinated and mask-less, and it is so so good. My solo walks are nice, but there’s something so lovely about sharing a sidewalk with a friend.
(I’m still wearing masks in stores and socializing outdoors until my kid can get vaccinated)
posted by Maarika at 7:40 PM on May 25, 2021 [4 favorites]
(I’m still wearing masks in stores and socializing outdoors until my kid can get vaccinated)
posted by Maarika at 7:40 PM on May 25, 2021 [4 favorites]
I bought a hammock for my tiny back yard. It’s a Vivere 9 Foot Hammock With Stand, and the hammock itself is bright pink! It’s pretty affordable. Every moment I have spent in it has been pure joy. It’s a pleasure to coccoon in it for an hour or two and listen to birds and neighborhood noise, squirrels chattering, people talking and mowing lawns, the wind blowing through the branches of century elms.
You’re safely distanced but it’s so reassuring to listen to the earth as it turns and feel like you’re in the midst of it.
posted by mochapickle at 8:32 PM on May 25, 2021 [12 favorites]
You’re safely distanced but it’s so reassuring to listen to the earth as it turns and feel like you’re in the midst of it.
posted by mochapickle at 8:32 PM on May 25, 2021 [12 favorites]
read ross gay's wonderful book of delights (a year of daily essays on delight!), and start keeping track of little things that delight you each day! the more you notice delight, the more it shows up (and it can really be small moments! like, my friend showed me the tiny peppers he's growing over zoom; my dog does something especially cute in a cardboard box). consider starting a small new hobby? birdwatching? inaturalist every plant you come across? do a small daily yoga practice? (yoga with adrienne is free and wonderful and delivers a little relief each day). make time to play, whatever that looks like to you? draw silly pictures (lynda barry has a fantastic graphic medicine class that's three hours of pure joy, no art skills required!), dance to a youtube workout, singalong to your favorite song, spend $10 at the dollar store to make a wacky project, just move your body in an unexpected way? if you're into cooking or baking, pick some wildcard projects to work on? i just got a book of pies from the library and it's super informative AND pies are definitely joyful.
i find JOY to be pretty different than just self care (for instance walks and reading to be peaceful and enjoyable but not necessarily always joyful, if that makes sense, though i can encounter joy in either!) and usually more tied in to play and surprise, which of course has been even harder during covid. recovering a sense of possibility/optimism definitely came after i let myself both rest AND play though. hope you find some delights for you out there!
posted by lightgray at 8:34 PM on May 25, 2021 [5 favorites]
i find JOY to be pretty different than just self care (for instance walks and reading to be peaceful and enjoyable but not necessarily always joyful, if that makes sense, though i can encounter joy in either!) and usually more tied in to play and surprise, which of course has been even harder during covid. recovering a sense of possibility/optimism definitely came after i let myself both rest AND play though. hope you find some delights for you out there!
posted by lightgray at 8:34 PM on May 25, 2021 [5 favorites]
I'm not sure where you live, but do you have access to home antibody test kits? I'm in the UK, and here you're offered free test kits mailed straight to your home in packs of seven from the government. I'm an epidemiologist, have had both doses of vaccine, and had COVID at the very beginning of the pandemic. I'm still not comfortable going to dine in anywhere, and I only really have confidence in two friends/households here whose homes I'll spend time inside. But every time I venture out to the edges of my comfort zones, I know that, a couple days later, I'll do my swab test and know if anything needs to come after. It's been a genuine tool to feeling a bit more free to feel joy and relaxation since I can help myself feel like I'm also engaging in a kind of trust-but-verify practice. And, frankly, after this last year, that's what I need.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 2:37 AM on May 26, 2021
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 2:37 AM on May 26, 2021
I took a really quick peek at your posting history and I think maybe getting out and seeing some new art would add to your joy. (I might be biased since this is something I'm eagerly awaiting here in third-wave Ontario.)
I personally find watching comedies helps me, especially kind of goofy ones. Also kind of on the other end of the spectrum, stories of humans "conquering"/exploring their environment, starry-eyed versions of scientific discoveries, etc.
posted by warriorqueen at 5:30 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I personally find watching comedies helps me, especially kind of goofy ones. Also kind of on the other end of the spectrum, stories of humans "conquering"/exploring their environment, starry-eyed versions of scientific discoveries, etc.
posted by warriorqueen at 5:30 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I signed up for the weekly Reasons To Be Cheerful newsletter. I often don't even read the articles -- just the headlines about nice things happening somewhere make me feel a little bit better about the world.
posted by JanetLand at 8:35 AM on May 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by JanetLand at 8:35 AM on May 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Can you invite someone from outside your bubble who is vaccinated to come work in the garden for an afternoon?
When you're gardening, you get dirty and warm and thirsty, and at the end you have visible progress. I've only been to our town farm once so far this season, but it really made me feel good for days. And I think the fellowship of that work would do you worlds of good, while the planning beforehand -- and remembering afterwards -- would also be helpful.
Being unmasked here in the suburbs still feels weird to me. Seeing some neighbors -- ironically, at a moving-away party -- last weekend really thawed my heart a lot: some are folks I have chatted with from a distance, and others are people that I have never held a casual conversation with in over ten years living here!
posted by wenestvedt at 11:53 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
When you're gardening, you get dirty and warm and thirsty, and at the end you have visible progress. I've only been to our town farm once so far this season, but it really made me feel good for days. And I think the fellowship of that work would do you worlds of good, while the planning beforehand -- and remembering afterwards -- would also be helpful.
Being unmasked here in the suburbs still feels weird to me. Seeing some neighbors -- ironically, at a moving-away party -- last weekend really thawed my heart a lot: some are folks I have chatted with from a distance, and others are people that I have never held a casual conversation with in over ten years living here!
posted by wenestvedt at 11:53 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Also, I have begun listening to the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report podcast, and hearing the steady advance of science explaining how safe it is to come out of my chrysalis helps my nerves stop bussing.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:55 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by wenestvedt at 11:55 AM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I am currently on my first post-COVID trip. It's been a real jump in the deep end:
- sitting on full airplane flights (everyone masked and keeping a kind of illusory personal bubble around ourselves)
- working indoors with various colleagues, unmasked. we are all vaccinated and agreed that this is okay with us and our families.
- eating with those same colleagues, as well as assorted friends, outdoors on patios for the most part, unmasked.
- entering retail spaces, masked and using hand sanitizer at the door.
- remaining unmasked outdoors on smaller neighborhood streets, but routinely putting on a mask on busier streets as a mark of my willingness to remain considerate of strangers whose vaccination status I don't know.
It honestly feels pretty great.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 3:05 PM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
- sitting on full airplane flights (everyone masked and keeping a kind of illusory personal bubble around ourselves)
- working indoors with various colleagues, unmasked. we are all vaccinated and agreed that this is okay with us and our families.
- eating with those same colleagues, as well as assorted friends, outdoors on patios for the most part, unmasked.
- entering retail spaces, masked and using hand sanitizer at the door.
- remaining unmasked outdoors on smaller neighborhood streets, but routinely putting on a mask on busier streets as a mark of my willingness to remain considerate of strangers whose vaccination status I don't know.
It honestly feels pretty great.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 3:05 PM on May 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Oh! and I got a haircut. Sooooo much hair chopped off. I feel so light and wonderful.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 3:11 PM on May 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Lawn Beaver at 3:11 PM on May 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
I think constantly about what it is I really want to do, and of those things, which ones I feel comfortable doing.
For me, the daily morning walk unmasked by default (but carrying a mask with me) has been the biggest help. I guess it's been going on two weeks now, and it's still something I'm very self-conscious about. Even hanging out unmasked with vaccinated friends hasn't been as outside my comfort zone as walking down the street without a mask! (which I put on when passing other masked people or on busier streets and intersections).
Next big step will be a train ride to visit vaccinated friends in another city. I don't know when I will be able to get on a plane again (but I hated them before the pandemic).
posted by maggiemaggie at 7:14 PM on May 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
For me, the daily morning walk unmasked by default (but carrying a mask with me) has been the biggest help. I guess it's been going on two weeks now, and it's still something I'm very self-conscious about. Even hanging out unmasked with vaccinated friends hasn't been as outside my comfort zone as walking down the street without a mask! (which I put on when passing other masked people or on busier streets and intersections).
Next big step will be a train ride to visit vaccinated friends in another city. I don't know when I will be able to get on a plane again (but I hated them before the pandemic).
posted by maggiemaggie at 7:14 PM on May 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
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posted by fritley at 5:08 PM on May 25, 2021 [15 favorites]