Wording an idea succinctly

May 16, 2021 7:43 AM

I’m writing a book proposal that requires a very brief summary of my book, like a couple sentences. I’m having trouble with that, even after outlining and reverse outlining and bouncing ideas off others. I’m aware that my topic might need refinement, but this is my actual question now: what strategies have you found helpful for condensing big ideas into an elevator speech?
posted by mermaidcafe to Writing & Language (15 answers total)

This is hard, because you're acquainted with the details but you need to zoom out. This is the big picture - what it is and why it matters, not why it is the way it is or how it got there.

Try starting by writing notes prompted by: "This is about:" and "What I'm trying to say is:" and "This is why it's important:" and see what comes out. Then edit away all the unhelpful words, and delete the prompts.
posted by entropone at 7:50 AM on May 16, 2021 [1 favorite]

Your goal is to intrigue the person you're pitching to and make them want to know more. Set a number of words you want to end up with, say, 50. Then write it however big you want and start cutting. Forget the details, you're looking at your idea from the 50,000 foot level. What is the one thing you want the reader to come away with?

In some ways, this is the hardest part of the writing process. Expect it to take multiple revisions. When I'm trying to come up with an elevator pitch, I open a document and start throwing pitches at it. I never go back and directly revise a pitch, but make a copy or start from scratch with the next one, because I often find things I like from an abandoned pitch that I can reuse.

Good luck!
posted by lhauser at 8:21 AM on May 16, 2021 [1 favorite]

I would normally recommend the write-too-long-and-cut method but it sounds like you’ve tried that, so why not do the opposite? What is your book about in one word? Now five words? Now ten? Of course none of these will actually be sufficient, but keep going. 15, 20, 25. Keep doing it until you think “well this one doesn’t have nearly enough detail but I GUESS” and then show that one to people and see what they say.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:27 AM on May 16, 2021 [4 favorites]

When I’ve been really stuck in the past, I have found it weirdly helpful to write a short letter (or even a tweet!) to a particular friend explaining my big idea argument, or telling them about why I’m embarking on said article/book. Choose a friend who’s super smart but not necessarily working in your particular area. It might seem a bit artificial but I have always found it clarifying to have a particular audience in mind, much more so than simply writing to yourself, or to an imagined but ill-defined audience (which is often what these summaries default to). You obviously don’t have to send the letter, but it also does seem to help if you lie to yourself that you are going to. And you can revise up from there. Good luck!
posted by idlethink at 8:37 AM on May 16, 2021 [3 favorites]

I’ve heard in Hollywood movie pitches they reference something else

“It’s like jaws.... in a tornado!”

(Sharknado)
posted by St. Peepsburg at 8:44 AM on May 16, 2021 [1 favorite]

Think of it as a back jacket book blurb (not the flap copy). So read a lot of book blurbs for books of your type.
posted by Elsie at 9:11 AM on May 16, 2021 [2 favorites]

My experience is in writing research or workshop proposals.

In the same vein as St. Peepsburg's answer, look at pitches/log lines/headlines for articles/essays/books/films with a topic that are similar to yours. I do this because sometimes there are succinct word choices/vocabulary that describe part of the topic that I might not have considered. Also, try not to encompass the entire idea at first, but rather the most interesting (to the audience) reason why you are exploring this idea or a single (maybe biggest? first?) question/thesis you will answer/explore. Sometimes, I write topic sentences for each section of my outline and see if there are any similar words that I can group together - or at least it helps me choose the most interesting/important section(s).
posted by bluefly at 9:11 AM on May 16, 2021 [1 favorite]

If someone did not know your book existed and went into a bookstore hoping that it did, how would they describe what they wanted to the clerk?
posted by BWA at 9:13 AM on May 16, 2021 [6 favorites]

I found it helpful to remember that the purpose of the elevator pitch or summary isn't to devise one neat trick to sell the idea/book/organization; it's to pique curiosity while sounding plausibly [whatever is most important to the audience], e.g., authoritative, novel, marketable, etc.. Your audience can ask questions later, giving you the opportunity to provide details tailored to their concerns.
posted by carmicha at 10:11 AM on May 16, 2021 [3 favorites]

I'd suggest approaching it as a Logline. Check out that link, it's about movies, but it has examples and ways of thinking about how to express an entire story arc in a sentence.

I teach filmmaking, and one of the things I always tell my students is that if they can't figure out how to express their film idea in a sentence, they haven't figured out what the core idea of what they are writing is.

What is the central arc? The A Plot? If you are writing non-fiction, is there a question that this book is attempting to answer?

Not all the subtleties, nuances or B-plots. What is the main, central thing?
posted by MythMaker at 11:03 AM on May 16, 2021 [2 favorites]

Do you have a friend who might be willing to listen to you ramble a bit while you try to work it out? I've found talking to someone helps with this - offer to buy them dinner in return or some other favor, as it is work on their part.
posted by coffeecat at 11:15 AM on May 16, 2021 [2 favorites]

I would start with one sentence:

The author uses linear algebra to design better sandwiches.
The book uses the letters of Paul to teach Greek grammar,.
The book tells the story of Aida in comic book form.

Once you've identified the core, you can expand a little bit.
posted by SemiSalt at 1:13 PM on May 16, 2021

Check out some important wikipedia articles, on Simple English Wikipedia. Eg the Carbon cycle or the French Revolution, etc.

These articles have been worked over by many people who are interested in honing down a complex topic to a few pithy sentences at low grade level for the lede.

If you can write like this, you're halfway there. Then you take your simple English condensed version and add a few fun/cool/buzz/marketing words and you're pretty much done.

This exercise has helped me improve my elevator pitches in academic science settings, ymmv.
posted by SaltySalticid at 1:24 PM on May 16, 2021

It sounds like you're lacking clarity about the central idea or most important point. There are probably several ways to frame it, or different directions you could go, highlighting various aspects. However, you need to choose the single hook to hang everything else on. (And let go of the rest. This part will be really, really hard.)

What I would do is get a sheet of paper and make a list of all the potential 'this is the most important thing' about your book. Only a single idea per line. Treat each idea as if it truly is the most important thing to know about this book.

Then cut all the important points into strips of paper, like giant fortune cookie fortunes. Mix them all up, grab two and choose the one you like better. You must choose one. Put the winner aside. Grab two more, repeat process. Repeat again with all the winners until you're down to one.

Then expand that winning sentence further as needed.
posted by iamkimiam at 3:49 PM on May 16, 2021 [2 favorites]

The key to these very short summaries/elevator pitches is finding the correct sentence structure. Find 20-30 different examples from Amazon/NYT book chart etc, then slowly start swapping out the extant details with details of your own book. Mixing and matching should find you a structure that works, and when you have that it's only word choice you have to worry about.
posted by mani at 5:31 AM on May 17, 2021