Jobs that promote real relationships
April 22, 2021 12:31 PM Subscribe
My job is like most in that my coworkers feel like friends, but realistically, after I leave I probably would never hear from them again. If I have to spend all day at a job, maybe it could be a job where the day is spent building real and lasting community. Have you had a job where the relationships lasted after you left? Can you think of jobs where this might be more likely to happen?
Find a job with lots of young people (or older people, near to retirement age), that also has lots of single people (not as required) who spend time away from their relatives, and has some downtime to form relationships, and you'll find a job that has a community attached to it.
young people have less attached existing community so are very amenable to forming a community with co-workers.
single people are less likely to be married and spouses and young kids are huge timesucks which aren't great for forming a work-based community.
jobs that employ young people but are closely monitored stop communities from forming and keep the turnover high such that communities don't form.
If you job fits those criteria, communities are likely to form.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:50 PM on April 22, 2021 [7 favorites]
young people have less attached existing community so are very amenable to forming a community with co-workers.
single people are less likely to be married and spouses and young kids are huge timesucks which aren't great for forming a work-based community.
jobs that employ young people but are closely monitored stop communities from forming and keep the turnover high such that communities don't form.
If you job fits those criteria, communities are likely to form.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:50 PM on April 22, 2021 [7 favorites]
I haven't had one, but my husband did, so a lot of my current friends (10+ years post-job) are the result of that. I think the magic sauce of that job was many-fold. It was an office job with a group of people who respected each other. They went out almost every Friday night; everyone was welcome to join - there was no 'this person is invited/this one isn't; they were all genuinely welcoming. The timing was such that few people had kids or other obligations that made them less available for outside socializations. If the same group worked together today, it probably wouldn't be the same.
The job was one where the actual work was a pain, and they were working with an ever-changing group of other workers. So there was definitely a lot of shared camaraderie and commiserating about the client. (They were on-site for a client.) From my outside perspective, their management and the company they worked for also helped things. Management was good to them; the company they worked for seemed to care about its employees and them having a life outside work.
I think a shared experience really drives friendship, but having similar attitudes also helps.
posted by hydra77 at 12:51 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
The job was one where the actual work was a pain, and they were working with an ever-changing group of other workers. So there was definitely a lot of shared camaraderie and commiserating about the client. (They were on-site for a client.) From my outside perspective, their management and the company they worked for also helped things. Management was good to them; the company they worked for seemed to care about its employees and them having a life outside work.
I think a shared experience really drives friendship, but having similar attitudes also helps.
posted by hydra77 at 12:51 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
I think this happens in some industries that have pan-company/organisation identities. Academia is the obvious one - I'm good friends with many people I've worked with over the past 15 years and most of us are now working at different institutions, including in different countries. But we're still bonded by working in the same field, collaborating on grants, co-writing, seeing each other at conferences. I suspect that other industries, including tech and research science, have some similar corners.
posted by AFII at 12:53 PM on April 22, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by AFII at 12:53 PM on April 22, 2021 [5 favorites]
Not a "job", but career in the military often result in some very good networking both in and out of the military.
posted by kschang at 12:59 PM on April 22, 2021
posted by kschang at 12:59 PM on April 22, 2021
The only job that ever felt that way for me was a Montessori school. It had some of the factors others have mentioned: shared values, a lot of younger people working there. It was also a small organization, which I think helps.
posted by missrachael at 1:04 PM on April 22, 2021
posted by missrachael at 1:04 PM on April 22, 2021
The people I know who are closest to their ex-coworkers taught in the same program — either as grade school teachers, as TAs teaching the same undergraduate classes, or, for one group of friends, as instructors in the same code bootcamp.
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:08 PM on April 22, 2021
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:08 PM on April 22, 2021
(Unfortunately, I think that's partly because going through a shared ordeal is a good way to bond with someone and teaching in the US is a total fucking ordeal.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:10 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:10 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
I will add that just being young and going out isn't sufficient for lasting community, speaking from experience. I spent most of my late 20s working with other single people in their late 20s, we'd go out several times a week, and nearly our entire social lives were hanging around with one another. But like you said, OP, once you leave that environment, the social connection stops. I kept up with them for a couple of years after leaving the job, which is a couple of years longer than most people do, but by that point we were then in our early 30s, and that's a much different place in life. We were starting to get married, have kids, some moved away, and yeah, things fell apart. So yeah, you can build a seemingly tight social community in that situation, but it's no more likely to withstand the pressures of time and change than any other job-based friendships.
posted by kevinbelt at 1:10 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by kevinbelt at 1:10 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
You need to have reasons to see your coworkers outside of work. When they have families, that doesn't help. When they live in other towns from you, that doesn't help. I used to hang out at the bar down the street with coworkers from my first job, but that's not really a thing with my current workplace. If you want to keep coworker friends after they leave, you need to have shared hobbies or activities that probably aren't tied to work and a reason to stay in touch. I miss my former coworkers, but when we don't have work in common any more, somehow we don't end up with much to say, especially since I tend to do a lot of stuff and they'll be all "I'm not doing much."
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:12 PM on April 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:12 PM on April 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
I have made real, long-term friends at various jobs, but a) the community of friends does not transfer, because part of the relationship web is dependent on enforced time together and b)not everyone has room to add more social obligations to their life outside of work even if they very much enjoy their coworkers during work. If they move on, they have a whole new group of people to spend 8+ hours a day plus happy hours with, and it's just not possible to keep adding people to your "real friends" group indefinitely. This gets more and more pronounced the older you get, as other obligations (family, existing social ties) do start stacking.
Making friends as an adult is hard. It just is. I don't think there's a way out of that. (Even things like the military are mostly full of younger folks whose lives outside of work aren't full yet.)
posted by restless_nomad at 1:14 PM on April 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
Making friends as an adult is hard. It just is. I don't think there's a way out of that. (Even things like the military are mostly full of younger folks whose lives outside of work aren't full yet.)
posted by restless_nomad at 1:14 PM on April 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
Nthing shared ordeal. I have very long term friends from my most toxic work environments where you hold onto each other for dear life. Also, I tend to bond with people with whom I share intense training programs.
posted by wellred at 1:14 PM on April 22, 2021
posted by wellred at 1:14 PM on April 22, 2021
I think this likelier to happen in mission-driven non-profits with a lot of idealistic employees, but also in a work environment that isn't too pressured or competitive. I've had a few jobs like that and became genuine friends with my coworkers. It helps if the work involves a lot of collaboration and work with people in general.
posted by bearette at 1:17 PM on April 22, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by bearette at 1:17 PM on April 22, 2021 [7 favorites]
Thinking about it more, I think the other thing is to spend time with coworkers where you aren't talking about work, and ideally where you aren't just talking about your workplace's Designated Safe Non-Work Topic either. (A lot of places it's sports or TV.)
Like, going out to the bar a lot can mean "Every week I save up all my stories about shitty clients to tell to you" or it can mean "I remember all your siblings' names and I've heard the stories of your last three breakups," you know? And the first thing is, in a lot of ways, a safer and more reasonable way to interact with coworkers, but the second thing is what actually leads to friendships.
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:20 PM on April 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
Like, going out to the bar a lot can mean "Every week I save up all my stories about shitty clients to tell to you" or it can mean "I remember all your siblings' names and I've heard the stories of your last three breakups," you know? And the first thing is, in a lot of ways, a safer and more reasonable way to interact with coworkers, but the second thing is what actually leads to friendships.
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:20 PM on April 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
Have you ever considered the idea of living where you work? When you live and work with the same people, you necessarily form real relationships.
So my first thought was getting involved in your local cooperative housing scene (if there is such a thing in your area) and seeing if the people there have ideas. You also might be interested in working in an intentional community if you're able/willing to change locations.
Obviously simply living in co-op housing is not a job you can get paid for (generally the work you do is a condition of living there) and if you live in an intentional community you may not even get paid beyond room and board. But you stand an excellent chance of working alongside people you will form meaningful and lasting bonds with.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 1:20 PM on April 22, 2021
So my first thought was getting involved in your local cooperative housing scene (if there is such a thing in your area) and seeing if the people there have ideas. You also might be interested in working in an intentional community if you're able/willing to change locations.
Obviously simply living in co-op housing is not a job you can get paid for (generally the work you do is a condition of living there) and if you live in an intentional community you may not even get paid beyond room and board. But you stand an excellent chance of working alongside people you will form meaningful and lasting bonds with.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 1:20 PM on April 22, 2021
The younger I was at the time, the closer I still am to former co-workers.
Of course, back then I was young and single and had no dependents and had fewer responsibilities and had more ready cash -- so there were few barriers to the shared activities that develop relationships.
So I am in two FB groups for people I worked with: one at a pizzeria 30 years ago, and the other at my first post-college job, which I left in 1999.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:22 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
Of course, back then I was young and single and had no dependents and had fewer responsibilities and had more ready cash -- so there were few barriers to the shared activities that develop relationships.
So I am in two FB groups for people I worked with: one at a pizzeria 30 years ago, and the other at my first post-college job, which I left in 1999.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:22 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
It helps if you work in a more niche field. I work in film and whatever aspect of the business you are working in, you are likely to meet other people who are interested in the same movies and cultural things as you. “Liking movies” is probably similar to sharing taste in music and books - if it’s the ONLY thing you have in common it isn’t very important, but it can also be a great jumping off point for a deeper relationship.
posted by cakelite at 1:26 PM on April 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by cakelite at 1:26 PM on April 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
I'd say jobs in tv/film/advertising production are big on creating lasting relationships. The work can be hard and by extension, very emotional. You have to get reeeaaal comfortable with your co-workers' idiosyncrasies, sometimes their outbursts. There will be lots of heated arguments and sometimes tears. But then, after a hard job well done, there are lots of drinks and hugs and celebration and showering of gratitude. People kind of follow each other around from job to job so paths will continue to cross, and over time, you have a community. Lots of close friendships (and many romantic relationships) come out of doing this kind of work together.
posted by greta simone at 1:26 PM on April 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by greta simone at 1:26 PM on April 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
Most library workers like books and knowledge, so that's a start. Get to know your co-workers as individuals; each one probably has some potential to be a friend. Ask people to do stuff; go for a walk, have a drink after work, check out a new restaurant, in groups and individually (*obv. pandemic-dependent). Real close best friendship is hard to find, but pretty good friends are worthwhile, a community.
posted by theora55 at 1:51 PM on April 22, 2021
posted by theora55 at 1:51 PM on April 22, 2021
Journalism. I've been gone for 20 years but my newspaper friends are still my closest. The long days, frustration and deadlines, and plenty of laughs make for life-long friendships.
posted by simonelikenina at 2:00 PM on April 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by simonelikenina at 2:00 PM on April 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
I've worked in the advocacy non-profit sector for most of my career and have made many life-long friends here. I will say this has decreased as I got older, and the nature of the jobs changed. When I was in my twenties, in jobs where almost everyone else was too, and we worked jobs with a lot of evenings (organizing/canvassing), friendships were easy - we'd get off at 10 and it was natural to head to the bar together after work, for instance. Once I started working more office-type jobs, then became a manager, then started working as a consultant to nonprofits, each of those steps meant I made fewer friends. But I still find that overall I really enjoy my coworkers a lot more than most people I know tend to do.
I think the key here has been that 1. I share some baseline values with my coworkers (we're progressive and it's important enough for us to have built a career around it) and 2. Our jobs are oriented around those values. I imagine if I were not so progressive, or if I didn't generally align with progressive non-profit culture, I wouldn't have made as many friends at work. So I think one of the keys is finding a job/sector where you have things in common with your coworkers, and where it's sort of natural to connect around those things.
posted by lunasol at 2:09 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
I think the key here has been that 1. I share some baseline values with my coworkers (we're progressive and it's important enough for us to have built a career around it) and 2. Our jobs are oriented around those values. I imagine if I were not so progressive, or if I didn't generally align with progressive non-profit culture, I wouldn't have made as many friends at work. So I think one of the keys is finding a job/sector where you have things in common with your coworkers, and where it's sort of natural to connect around those things.
posted by lunasol at 2:09 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
I've made lasting friendships at a couple of past workplaces. It helped that at both companies, many of my coworkers were around my age, and we were also all in a similar place in our lives where we didn't have kids or major family commitments outside of work. Making plans to hang out after work or on the weekends was easy for everyone.
But I think it's also a lot of luck - I just happened to find people that I clicked really well with, and we probably would've become friends no matter what context we met in. We have a lot of the same interests and values. I was definitely afraid that the friendships would fade off when I left for another job, but it all worked out. Most of us ended up leaving for other jobs eventually, but we are still the same close-knit group.
posted by keep it under cover at 2:21 PM on April 22, 2021
But I think it's also a lot of luck - I just happened to find people that I clicked really well with, and we probably would've become friends no matter what context we met in. We have a lot of the same interests and values. I was definitely afraid that the friendships would fade off when I left for another job, but it all worked out. Most of us ended up leaving for other jobs eventually, but we are still the same close-knit group.
posted by keep it under cover at 2:21 PM on April 22, 2021
I'd definitely say journalism/magazine/other media and design work. I'm friends with several ex-coworkers and loads more people I met through that profession.
I will say that apart from that, as I've moved up the ranks I haven't been able to be friends with people, because I've been managing teams. There's a real danger in being friends if you do, because even if you work hard on neutrality, questions will be asked. So in my experience, while it is really nice to have "trench friends" and I value the friendships I've made through work highly, it's also really good to develop other friendships.
posted by warriorqueen at 2:26 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
I will say that apart from that, as I've moved up the ranks I haven't been able to be friends with people, because I've been managing teams. There's a real danger in being friends if you do, because even if you work hard on neutrality, questions will be asked. So in my experience, while it is really nice to have "trench friends" and I value the friendships I've made through work highly, it's also really good to develop other friendships.
posted by warriorqueen at 2:26 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
Service industry. Partly because you're all mostly in the same boat of being tired as hell, too poor, and sick of it, partly because it's a job that mostly self-selects for people-people and gives them cash in hand to hang out outside of work immediately after. People come and go at specific restaurants but if you live in a smaller town or work in a particular restaurant area you still end up colliding with past co-workers and continue those friendships post-work.
posted by GoblinHoney at 2:40 PM on April 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by GoblinHoney at 2:40 PM on April 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
I think this sometimes happen if you're in a somewhat remote or isolated area, or somehow grouped together and spending people with time at work and outside of work. I worked at an outdoor recreation company for several years in my 20s, and we lived and worked in a rural area, so our friends were our coworkers and our coworkers were our friends. I'm still in touch with lots of those folks because we had established connections outside of work. I'm also still in touch with grad school friends, which is a similar think: we sent to school and socialized together. This aligns with what someone said about the military, too.
I'd push back, though, and say that it might be better to separate work from friendships a bit. I think it's great to have friendly relationships at work, and sometimes those relationships can develop into true friendships. But it's also great to have friendships separate from your job. (Not that you asked.)
posted by bluedaisy at 2:48 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
I'd push back, though, and say that it might be better to separate work from friendships a bit. I think it's great to have friendly relationships at work, and sometimes those relationships can develop into true friendships. But it's also great to have friendships separate from your job. (Not that you asked.)
posted by bluedaisy at 2:48 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
Teaching. I'm a teacher and most of my friends come from various jobs that I've done in the past.
posted by thereader at 3:09 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by thereader at 3:09 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
The jobs I’ve had where I still am in contact with people are the jobs that had terrible working conditions. We bonded over hating the boss, and it carried over into real life. I’ve been friends with some of these people since the 1990’s.
posted by MexicanYenta at 3:13 PM on April 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by MexicanYenta at 3:13 PM on April 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
I'm not sure there is any universal answer to this question. Some people have mentioned teacher - my mom was a teacher, but in 35ish years of working only really clicked enough with two other co-workers to the point of socializing outside of work. Some people mentioned restaurant/service industry - while I currently have friends that do work in restaurants, I never made any lasting friends during my own years of working in restaurants (though I certainly had my share of late nights out drinking with co-workers).
But sure, generally any line of work where you are really dependent on your co-workers tends to up the chances for intimacy, but even that depends. I went to grad school in a college town, where there wasn't much social life to be found outside of school - I made a number of strong friendships during this time. Meanwhile I know some people that did PhDs in NYC, and really only made a couple friends in their program, since people were less attached to the program.
posted by coffeecat at 3:25 PM on April 22, 2021
But sure, generally any line of work where you are really dependent on your co-workers tends to up the chances for intimacy, but even that depends. I went to grad school in a college town, where there wasn't much social life to be found outside of school - I made a number of strong friendships during this time. Meanwhile I know some people that did PhDs in NYC, and really only made a couple friends in their program, since people were less attached to the program.
posted by coffeecat at 3:25 PM on April 22, 2021
I'm a 52 year old computer programmer. I have regular electronic contact, and occasional physical get-togethers, with people from pretty much every programming job I've ever had. More contact with those coworkers than, say, college classmates. And I think of myself as a notoriously bad networker.
These friends came from circumstances including: shared trauma in an absolute horrorshow of a software company where we'd escape at 5PM every evening to go bouldering and then came back to the office to work late into the night; an early Internet ISP which was just flat out fun even as I was subsisting on rice and beans; Pixar where I really should have kept in touch with more people; a startup that involved some amazing artists doing craft that was well below their abilities.
Some of those folks are "fly across the country to go visit" (Lewis Grizzard described them as "Three thousand dollars in Boise friends", where if they called and said "I need you to meet me tomorrow at BOI with $3k in unmarked small bills" you'd say "what time?"); some are "hey, I'm doing [home improvement] can I borrow a tool or some expertise?"; some of those folks have been with me in several different jobs; one of those people I've known for 25 years lives 3 blocks from me and in the time of COVID we Zoom weekly, before that we walked for coffee at least twice a week.
To some extent I think this comes from working in places where we hold our coworkers in high esteem. I can imagine that if you feel like your job is just a job then your coworkers aren't special people, but I've worked over the years with some truly amazing people, and I'm pulled along by their passion for the things they're passionate about, whether that's work related or not.
And, sure, maybe there's shared ordeal, when you've been up all night trying to recover from that hacker that tried to cover their tracks with
posted by straw at 3:29 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
These friends came from circumstances including: shared trauma in an absolute horrorshow of a software company where we'd escape at 5PM every evening to go bouldering and then came back to the office to work late into the night; an early Internet ISP which was just flat out fun even as I was subsisting on rice and beans; Pixar where I really should have kept in touch with more people; a startup that involved some amazing artists doing craft that was well below their abilities.
Some of those folks are "fly across the country to go visit" (Lewis Grizzard described them as "Three thousand dollars in Boise friends", where if they called and said "I need you to meet me tomorrow at BOI with $3k in unmarked small bills" you'd say "what time?"); some are "hey, I'm doing [home improvement] can I borrow a tool or some expertise?"; some of those folks have been with me in several different jobs; one of those people I've known for 25 years lives 3 blocks from me and in the time of COVID we Zoom weekly, before that we walked for coffee at least twice a week.
To some extent I think this comes from working in places where we hold our coworkers in high esteem. I can imagine that if you feel like your job is just a job then your coworkers aren't special people, but I've worked over the years with some truly amazing people, and I'm pulled along by their passion for the things they're passionate about, whether that's work related or not.
And, sure, maybe there's shared ordeal, when you've been up all night trying to recover from that hacker that tried to cover their tracks with
rm -rf / on the main server, or trying to ship that impossible code by the end of the week, that does bring a certain togetherness, but there's only so far I can get from shared trauma. Most of the people I really keep in touch with I do so because we either share interests (building cool stuff), or I find their interests fascinating enough to feel like a hanger-on (great artists).posted by straw at 3:29 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
This has been the case for me in the technical/craft side of theatre. Summer stocks are often in beautiful and somewhat remote places where everyone lives and works together long enough to know each other but not long enough to feel stuck with each other. There's also often a great age range of people working. I'm lucky and have a real spiderweb of friends who have worked with me and introduced me to other coworker friends. The key here seems to be changing projects fairly often but still existing in the same bigger milieu. The pay and job security are real hit-or-miss, but the friendships are a couple of decades in for me.
posted by lauranesson at 4:55 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by lauranesson at 4:55 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
Have you had a job where the relationships lasted after you left?
Yes. These were the characteristics of those jobs:
- Colleagues were either single or married with older children e.g. in their teens. Both categories had the downtime and desire to mingle after work.
- One or two key people took the leadership role in organising social events. (In one case that person was me!)
- We had the downtime to chat during the workday. (My current job does not have that downtime, so even though we all like each other, we haven't had the opportunity to form relationships with each other, largely because we are all very conscious of being monitored)
- Management was kind of dysfunctional, so we had a common enemy to complain about/bond over.
- The jobs were non-profit or semi-non-profit. People did the work because they cared about a thing. I noticed that, when politics did get discussed, most people tended to be very much at the same end of the spectrum.
Can you think of jobs where this might be more likely to happen?
- In one job I had, I noticed that a lot of my colleagues were successful in forming friendships with each other while I didn't really feel that close to any of them. And that was largely because I was the one commuting in from quite a significant distance while they all lived locally to the workplace. Living close by each other meant that they could go for a drink after work or meet up at the weekends without needing to travel too far. I noticed this really contributed to a sense of community and bonding. So I would say a local community organisation which recruits most of its workforce locally would be more likely to see its employees becoming friendly.
posted by unicorn chaser at 5:11 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
Yes. These were the characteristics of those jobs:
- Colleagues were either single or married with older children e.g. in their teens. Both categories had the downtime and desire to mingle after work.
- One or two key people took the leadership role in organising social events. (In one case that person was me!)
- We had the downtime to chat during the workday. (My current job does not have that downtime, so even though we all like each other, we haven't had the opportunity to form relationships with each other, largely because we are all very conscious of being monitored)
- Management was kind of dysfunctional, so we had a common enemy to complain about/bond over.
- The jobs were non-profit or semi-non-profit. People did the work because they cared about a thing. I noticed that, when politics did get discussed, most people tended to be very much at the same end of the spectrum.
Can you think of jobs where this might be more likely to happen?
- In one job I had, I noticed that a lot of my colleagues were successful in forming friendships with each other while I didn't really feel that close to any of them. And that was largely because I was the one commuting in from quite a significant distance while they all lived locally to the workplace. Living close by each other meant that they could go for a drink after work or meet up at the weekends without needing to travel too far. I noticed this really contributed to a sense of community and bonding. So I would say a local community organisation which recruits most of its workforce locally would be more likely to see its employees becoming friendly.
posted by unicorn chaser at 5:11 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
When I've worked abroad as an English-speaking expatriate in non-English speaking countries, I made good friends with other expatriates. I think being in a different culture helps bring others who feel like a fish-out-of-water together.
posted by Leontine at 5:22 PM on April 22, 2021
posted by Leontine at 5:22 PM on April 22, 2021
Co-ops! I worked at a food co-op and have kept many dear friends from both among the staff and the patrons. We have a basic shared ideology and being a member gives us many connections in community interests such as organic farming, the local sourcing/buying movement, recycling, green energy, bike commuting, and involvement with a host of non-profit organizations. Our demographic tends to be educated, idealistic, all ages, leftish, community centered, and very friendly.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 5:24 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 5:24 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
It helps if you work in a more niche field. I work in film
I'd say jobs in tv/film/advertising production are big on creating lasting relationships. The work can be hard
This has been the case for me in the technical/craft side of theatre.
Nthing the idea of creative/artistic industries, maybe especially behind-the-scenes folks, tech crew and such.
Maybe not so much community, but definitely friendships and keeping in touch after a particular gig is over. Some of that may be some level of "networking" for opportunities for the next gig, but any given job can be intense (forging bonds through ordeal), mission-oriented (the show must go on no matter what), utilize your own creative skills, and you're highly dependent on your co-workers.
Also the "niche" factor - there are really very few people who do this, so you'll keep running into the same folks again and again, and nobody outside the industry really has any idea what the hell it is you actually do, so the number of folks you can discuss your working life with is limited, so if you click with someone you stay in touch with them after the job.
posted by soundguy99 at 5:25 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
I'd say jobs in tv/film/advertising production are big on creating lasting relationships. The work can be hard
This has been the case for me in the technical/craft side of theatre.
Nthing the idea of creative/artistic industries, maybe especially behind-the-scenes folks, tech crew and such.
Maybe not so much community, but definitely friendships and keeping in touch after a particular gig is over. Some of that may be some level of "networking" for opportunities for the next gig, but any given job can be intense (forging bonds through ordeal), mission-oriented (the show must go on no matter what), utilize your own creative skills, and you're highly dependent on your co-workers.
Also the "niche" factor - there are really very few people who do this, so you'll keep running into the same folks again and again, and nobody outside the industry really has any idea what the hell it is you actually do, so the number of folks you can discuss your working life with is limited, so if you click with someone you stay in touch with them after the job.
posted by soundguy99 at 5:25 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
Video & film editors must have lots of friends they’ve met through work.
I’m a producer/director and I’m still close with editors I worked with years ago. When you spend weeks at a stretch sitting in a dimly-lit edit with somebody, working under deadline and dealing with inane notes from executives, you’re either going to kill each other or become lifelong friends. And when you like working with an editor, you’re going to choose to work with them again and again.
I’ve also worked on documentary series where I was paired with another producer, spending weeks in far-flung locations repeatedly over the course of a couple years, and some of those folks became my best friends.
posted by theory at 5:42 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
I’m a producer/director and I’m still close with editors I worked with years ago. When you spend weeks at a stretch sitting in a dimly-lit edit with somebody, working under deadline and dealing with inane notes from executives, you’re either going to kill each other or become lifelong friends. And when you like working with an editor, you’re going to choose to work with them again and again.
I’ve also worked on documentary series where I was paired with another producer, spending weeks in far-flung locations repeatedly over the course of a couple years, and some of those folks became my best friends.
posted by theory at 5:42 PM on April 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
I'd also say teaching as a career that fosters friendships. I'm not a teacher myself, but I've worked at support staff in a school and I have witnessed tons of friendships form between the teachers I've worked with.
However, as support staff, I would say that there was a definite divide between support staff and teaching staff that can make it difficult for friendships to form between careers in a school (I'm pretty sure 65% of the teachers I've worked with think I'm a half-wit, despite being pretty well educated. The problem is I'm just not a teacher), so that creates a divide.
posted by VirginiaPlain at 6:00 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
However, as support staff, I would say that there was a definite divide between support staff and teaching staff that can make it difficult for friendships to form between careers in a school (I'm pretty sure 65% of the teachers I've worked with think I'm a half-wit, despite being pretty well educated. The problem is I'm just not a teacher), so that creates a divide.
posted by VirginiaPlain at 6:00 PM on April 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
Video games. They almost foster that on purpose: people work long hours together, they have a hobby and culture in common, they're often young right out of school, and the company provides everything from meals, laundry, gyms, alcohol, after-hours activities... everything to keep everyone at work instead of out meeting non-games people and finding out about normal work conditions. Really incestuous field too, so you'll run across the same people in different studios. I'm out of the field now but I still have those folks in my life and Steam friends list.
posted by Freyja at 5:02 AM on April 23, 2021
posted by Freyja at 5:02 AM on April 23, 2021
I feel like it's important to point out what a lot of people are talking about here is trauma bonding. I'm not certain that seeking out traumatic situations is a fantastic way of livening up your social life.
posted by restless_nomad at 6:44 AM on April 23, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by restless_nomad at 6:44 AM on April 23, 2021 [7 favorites]
Peace Corps - though of course 80% of the time you may be in a small village in the middle of nowhere, and you don't get paid much to speak of :)
posted by knownfossils at 10:08 PM on April 23, 2021
posted by knownfossils at 10:08 PM on April 23, 2021
This thread is closed to new comments.
Ultimately, I think there are two things that would promote this more than the typical job. The first is danger, which is what made me think of the military. Firefighters would probably also qualify. The second is some sort of shared interests and values, which is hard. I, for example, don't really care too deeply about insurance software; my primary reason for working where I do is to get a paycheck. But if you're working somewhere mission-drive, like a nonprofit, maybe that's different? On the other hand, nonprofits (and the military, for that matter) seem to have pretty high rates of burnout.
posted by kevinbelt at 12:39 PM on April 22, 2021 [3 favorites]