Help me get through the holidays. Alone.
December 22, 2020 5:33 PM   Subscribe

I am spending the holidays alone because my friends have all either coupled up or cannot make accommodations for me (5 person rule for gatherings).

So I guess I'm stuck at home with no idea how I'm going survive the holidays. The ballet term has ended and will begin next year. I have the long weekend off work.

Also, I was recently uninvited to a Christmas dinner by a man who I was having a situationship with - he had initially wanted us to grow closer organically (whatever that means), then balked when I made efforts to spend more time with him outside the bedroom.

I've taken the steps to delete social media (don't need to be a masochist and make myself hurt even more by watching other people having fun or being lovey-dovey). My friends remain supportive, but there's not much they or I can do when they've hit the 5 person limit and I can't be invited to gatherings.

I live with my mother, who is hosting one of her dreadedful soirées on Christmas Eve. I have no desire to interact with her friends. I think my room is a good place to be for the holidays... Just, help me survive. A few days ago I was on the brink but the meds have helped.

I have a cuddly (when she wants to be) cat and another cat who wants nothing to do with me but will let me force him into a cuddle, a Netflix and Amazon Prime subscription, and about fifteen books on the other side of my queen sized bed. That includes Ariel by Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, The Second Sex by de Beauvoir and House of Leaves by Danielewski. CCRU Writings: 1997-2003 just arrived from Book Depository so I now also have that beside me while I sleep.

I have a Kindle with over 400 books including the Earthsea books by LeGuin. I have fountain pens and journals and washi tape and ridiculous stationery for stupidly specific uses. I have a Nintendo Switch and a RetroPie.

Hive, I have all these things at my arsenal. Tell me what you would do if you were me. I don't even know where to begin.

I'm open to book suggestions as long as I can get it on my Kindle. I'm happy for game suggestions if I can get it on the Switch. I've been playing Animal Crossing and The Witcher. Suggest me some other things I can do other than get drunk by myself and binge watch Bojack Horseman for the ninth time.

On another note, Hive, I am in a mudpit. I crave affection and connection. I've been doing a good job taking care of myself and loving myself, but I don't think other people can love me (see above: being uninvited to a thing hurts more than not being invited in the first place).

I've been doing the bestest I can in trying to improve myself and do all the live-laugh-love things I can do, but ultimately, at the end of the day, I crawl into bed alone, take four ambien, and sleep fourteen hours so I don't have to wake up and go through the motions knowing that ultimately I simply am unable to form a real connection with anyone.

How would you suggest I survive isolation during the holidays? It wasn't bad when we had pandemic lockdown because everyone else was miserable, but seeing other people happy makes me feel angry.

And I feel like an asshole for being angry. I need your help, Hive!

PS: Have a phone appointment with my therapist tomorrow.
posted by antihistameme to Human Relations (40 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: poster's request -- cortex

 
I don't have an answer for you, just solidarity. I've got a similar situation and IDK what I'm going to do on Christmas. But its not my first Christmas alone. I'll probably go for a long walk, do some cleaning, get angry a bunch, try and cheer myself up and then get angry I don't.

If I'm smart, I'll write in my gratitude journal. But will I? I dunno.

Hugs. We'll be okay. That I'm sure of.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 5:46 PM on December 22, 2020 [6 favorites]


I'm glad you have time scheduled with a therapist. You sound very depressed. I am sorry you are struggling so much!

Immediate items that jump out to me - do you have any slightly more upbeat authors at your disposal? Maybe some trashy fiction you can dive into? I wouldn't recommend reading Sylvia Plath books right now! I have found video games to be very helpful during quarantine as well - I like 3rd person RPGs that aren't overly punishingly complex - maybe you can seek out a new game?

I'd also recommend trying to work on your framing of the situation with your loved ones. Given the situation on the ground, most people are being very cautious about gathering with people outside of their immediate bubbles/households, and it's probably for the best for all involved! Even if they aren't telling you, most people are dealing with a lot of stress trying to figure things out for themselves and their families, and I doubt it's as personal as it feels. Try not to read too deeply into it. I bet once people are vaccinated and socializing is more safe, you will reconnect with many of the friends who you weren't able to see right now, and realize the isolation and rejection you are feeling was highly situational.

Best of luck and be gentle with yourself!
posted by amycup at 5:46 PM on December 22, 2020 [19 favorites]


I can tell you what I do when I'm in a similar situation, which I have been recently: I find the longest novel I can find and bury myself in it. Doesn't matter if it's a trashy novel or whatever; as long as it has tons of characters, a twisty plot, and lots of pages, I can get absorbed and forget about what's going on in my real world. It also helps me if it's not contemporary; that way, I can get lost in a world that's far from my own. Books I've used for similar situations: Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett, The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas; Our Mutual Friend by Dickens. (Count of Monte Cristo was particularly good for this purpose, especially because it's sort of a fantasy/adventure hybrid with a some perfectly ludicrous plot elements.)

Since you mention games, I'll also say that The Room helped me a lot during a difficult time; I played it on my iPad. Bonus: there are three sequels, and all four games take forever to complete (well, if you're terrible at puzzle games, which I am).

I was also going to say what amycup said: I would avoid anything by Sylvia Plath right now, especially The Bell Jar, yikes. I literally cannot think of anything worse to read when you're anywhere near being in a funk. Take care of yourself.
posted by holborne at 5:59 PM on December 22, 2020 [13 favorites]


Not sure if this something that you could do with your living situation, but one thing that has helped me enjoy holidays that feel lonely is giving myself permission to eat whatever I want. Not in an unhealthy way, but ignoring prescribed notions for holiday food. Like, I'm over feeling like I need to eat a turkey dinner to have a "real" Thanksgiving. This year I made spaghetti and the previous year I made pulled pork sandwiches. Taking a bit of "control" over arbitrary holiday traditions has helped.
posted by VirginiaPlain at 6:06 PM on December 22, 2020 [4 favorites]


Sounds like what you need, apart from our solidarity and support, is a project. All the things you've got listed there for you are passive—reading, watching, playing—but there's something to having an active project from which you can describe an outcome when you're done with it, something that takes planning and energy and intellectual engagement.

Sand and polish a piece of furniture. Learn to play the synth solo from that song you like. Knit a beanie. Do jigsaws. Paint WH40K Space Marines. Develop black and white film. Catalogue your pressed nettle collection. Embroider your heirloom lederhosen. Learn a long poem by heart. Change your car's oil and coolant and rotate the tyres. Bake something from a national cuisine you're unfamiliar with. Buy sand and cement and pour a Brutalist cat bed in concrete and glass. Re-string your medieval lute. It doesn't matter what it is, it's completely irrelevant whether it's useful or silly, you don't even have to tell anyone else about it, it just has to be something with a definable start and end, and a realistic (but not 100%!) chance of success, that you can turn your energies to, and say to yourself at the end of the holiday, you did it.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:07 PM on December 22, 2020 [29 favorites]


If you live in an area with fenced in yards people tend to feed their dogs way too many table scraps on the holidays and they'll be putting their animals outside to have the shits. I haven't sold it well but what I'm trying to say is this is a grand opportunity to take a walk and make friends with the local dogs without their humans watching.

Personally I will be spending most of the day playing Planet Zoo. I'll also watch the Godfather if I don't get to it on Christmas Eve. I'll finish reading the Lincoln Lawyer. I'll probably eat some frosting with a spoon right out of the jar. Maybe some laundry. The world is my oyster.
posted by phunniemee at 6:17 PM on December 22, 2020 [4 favorites]


But you're not spending Christmas alone, only uncoupled. The number of people who would love to be spending Christmas with their moms but can't for a number of reasons, only one of which is the pandemic, are legion. Try coming out of your room and engaging with the person or people around you.
posted by kate4914 at 6:23 PM on December 22, 2020 [35 favorites]


When was the last time you had a nice long hot bath? Would it be possible to do a bath? Baths are warm. They're kind of like a liquid hug. You can put things in them that smell really good--even a couple bags of peppermint tea. And you might even be able read while you are there. Mix up some olive oil and sugar and scrub yourself all over!
posted by foxfirefey at 6:27 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]


Hugs, if you want them. Just so you know, not everyone is happy. Plenty of people are in the same position as you. I'm really good at spending time alone so here's what I'd do:

Self-care: Bubble bath, write in journal, take walks, order food for pickup from a small business, clean my room, do laundry, do stretching or yoga from a YouTube video

Reach out: maybe there's a mutual aid or caremongering group on Facebook in your city: lots of people will be in your situation, feel lonely and alone so maybe you can make a new friend. Make a post that includes your interests like you have here: you like cats, reading, Animal Crossing, the Witcher, etc.

Hobbies: practice ballet! Pick up a new hobby, like calligraphy or improve your handwriting; get inspired by r/penmanshipporn and r/calligraphy on reddit. Put all those journals and pens to good use.

Watch stand up comedy on Netflix. Ronnie Chieng's show is soooo good. I'd also recommend Tiffany Haddish, Wanda Sykes, Gina Yashere and Gabriel Iglesias. I'm finding I'm watching a lot more stand-up these days - it's awesome that stand-up can help me laugh :)

You'll notice that I didn't say read - it's only because I'm not a big reader so I don't have good recommendations on what to read.

I find that what also helps me feel connected are creators/experts in my fields of interest who are really good at connecting to their audiences on social media. For e.g. I'm into classical music so I follow classical musicians; I've also been to online author talks by my favourite authors... I'd look to see ballet dancers who have a good online presence and follow them, see if your favourite authors have put their talks on youtube, that sorta thing.
posted by foxjacket at 6:28 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]


1. Join the pirate puffins. We're walking* across the Pacific together, it is actually quite companionable.

2. Visit metafilter chat. Middle tab is the active one. They're friendly there.

3. Consume only media (books, internet, etc) whose moods reflect the moods you want to experience in yourself.
posted by aniola at 6:35 PM on December 22, 2020 [6 favorites]


4. You feel like shit - a self-care guide
posted by aniola at 6:49 PM on December 22, 2020 [6 favorites]


How is your relationship with your mother? I get that you don't want to participate in the Christmas Eve party with her friends but maybe make real plans to enjoy Christmas Day with her (if this is something that would be emotionally fulfilling for the both of you).
posted by NotTheRedBaron at 6:58 PM on December 22, 2020 [3 favorites]


"ridiculous stationery for stupidly specific uses."

Maybe write "love" letters to the family and friends in your life that you care about (even your cat!). Write about the things you love about them, your favorite memories of them, and what you most look forward to doing with them when the pandemic is over. You can choose to later send these or not but don't think of that as an obligation.

This is a hard time and everyone has had to make really hard choices. Your friends aren't exluding you because they want to but because they really don't have a choice. Think of that choice as them showing their love for you by not risking infecting you (and by extension, your mother). Even though you say you struggle to connect with people, that doesn't mean you are not capable of loving and of being loved. It might help you to write out your love for others and to realize how much of it is there.

And if you do send the letters, they may even be the most meaningful gift that the recipient(s) receives this year.
posted by NotTheRedBaron at 7:08 PM on December 22, 2020 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry that you are in this position. What the person you are dating did is hurtful.

If this was me, I would post something on Facebook/other social media like, "If anyone else is spending the holidays alone due to circumstances this year but would like company, please send me a PM. Happy to catch up either in person or online somehow." But I would keep my expectations low to avoid disappointment if no one responds. It is not a reflection on you if you get no response, okay? But I think it's worth a shot just in case you have other friends or acquaintances in similar positions.

It might be best to avoid checking your social media over the next few days. Limit yourself to checking private messages or responses to your post (if you make one). If you do happen to see posts made by other people, remember that social media is a highlight reel and doesn't necessarily reflect real life. Some people might spend Christmas surrounded by people but not necessarily be any happier for it. It is a very strange time of year for many.

I would spend the day cuddled up with the cats and watching Christmas movies like Home Alone.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 7:12 PM on December 22, 2020 [2 favorites]


Will Metafilter chat be more active than usual? I've never checked during a Holiday, but I plan to drop in on Christmas Eve to see what's up.
posted by Beholder at 7:33 PM on December 22, 2020 [2 favorites]


I "attended" a virtual series of author readings on Thanksgiving and it gave a welcome structure to the day, plus there was messaging interaction. I just spent a minute Googling for something like that for you on the 24th or 25th and didn't find much, but I am thinking a program that is online or televised and taking place in real time might be nice. You could listen to this version of A Christmas Carol or buy yourself a ticket to The Nutcracker. I am tempted to do one or both of those, actually. (You mention Christmas so I assume you're not uninterested in Christmas Carols or Nutcrackers.)

Maybe you could even rope your mother into enjoying an event with you in person, or someone else at a distance, and make some festive tea and cookies.
posted by BibiRose at 7:36 PM on December 22, 2020 [2 favorites]


I would try reaching out to the friends you couldn’t visit to see if they would be free for a phone call or even a video chat.

Netflix Party can be a way to group watch a movie with friends. I’ve tried it only once but there’s a chat box to share comments during the movie.

Since you play Animal Crossing, see if you can organize a virtual gathering at a friend’s island.
posted by mundo at 7:51 PM on December 22, 2020 [1 favorite]


If you liked Animal Crossing on the Switch, get Stardew Valley. That alone can suck up weeks of your life if you get into it. Failing that - tons of blankets, ice cream + popcorn (or sub whatever food guilty pleasures you prefer) and seconding the recommendation to watch stand up comedy on Netflix. Feel free to bail on any comic if they're not doing it for you; Netflix has tons so you wont be running out of content any time soon.

I'm in a similar situation and I'm treating this as just-another-day-in-quaratine. This holiday season is a cluster for just about everyone, there's no more happiness abound this month vs last just because "christmas!", just better acting.
posted by cgg at 7:56 PM on December 22, 2020 [4 favorites]


A possible project: teach your friendlier cat to come when called, shake hands and beg.
posted by metahawk at 7:57 PM on December 22, 2020 [1 favorite]


I like the idea of projects. Since you have a RetroPie / Raspberry Pi, you could try installing an alternate operating system on an extra SD card. Here’s an alternate video game OS for the Raspberry Pi called Lakka.

Nth Stardew Valley. That’s a longtime favorite for people on this site.
posted by mundo at 8:06 PM on December 22, 2020 [1 favorite]


Oh, this is tough. You’re asking about the holidays but this is really a break up post, right? So do a search for break up advice and follow that. Yes, keep busy. Also give yourself permission to have some sort of grieving or closure ritual. It can be very helpful. Please give yourself permission to want more and not accept less in your next relationship.

Your friends are busy because you had other plans. In normal years they could squeeze you in at the last minute. And something might still open up. I’d let folks know you’ve had a break up and are available.

And then, if nothing pans out there, I’d say not to spend the day inside feeling sorry for yourself. Take advantage of light crowds and go to a local beautiful place that’s usually crowded. Go for a robust hike. Be outside and move your body. Go someplace and try to get out of your house and out of your head.
posted by bluedaisy at 8:07 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]


That sounds like a rough Xmas BUT a delightful weekend... so the more you can frame it as just a nice couple days to cocoon, maybe the better?
Also don’t read Sylvia Plath! This is a great time for something funny - Tiffany Haddish’s The Last Black Unicorn is delightful - her life hasn’t been easy but her attitude is incredible.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:24 PM on December 22, 2020 [1 favorite]


One low-key project is to go out and walk around the neighborhood after dark and take photos of all the neighbors' Christmas lights. Yes they'll be blurry unless you have a fancy phone but that just makes them artsy. You can post them to social media if you like.

It can also be a kind of record of this weird, weird time you're living through.

This place you are in is temporary. It's a story you will tell someday, when others are sharing their
weird 2020 stories. It's off-rhythm and lonely. You are right to think it sucks. But it will pass and you will go on to whatever wonderful and weird and terrible and amazing life you're going to live.

Be kind to yourself, the way you would be to a friend that just had a breakup and is having a shitty holiday.
posted by emjaybee at 8:45 PM on December 22, 2020 [2 favorites]


Walk, walk, walk! You mentioned dance twice and I know the feeling. Your body needs to move. When you’re spending time with your Mom and it gets to be too much, head outside. Not to your room. Maybe participate in her parties by being part of the first half an hour, taking an extended walk and seeing who’s still there by the time you return.
Dance outside! Not ballet, but just move your body. Exhibit what you feel. Flop on the ground. Jump. Drag your feet. Now is the time for dancing like no one is watching. It doesn’t have to be a celebration, just what you feel.
Suggestions of a project are good and cross stitch sounds like a great choice.
Know that it’s fine not to be okay right now. You have no obligation to your gratitude journal or to anyone to “live-laugh-love”. Sometime circumstances are shitty and it’s fine to feel shitty about them.
Just keep moving.
posted by meinvt at 8:59 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]


If you have a library card, check to see if you have access to Kanopy which has lots of performing arts videos along with movies available. There are a bunch of ballet videos, including documentaries on some dancers and ballet organizations which might also scratch your ballet itch. You can also do a youtube deepdive on dance videos as well and maybe build yourself a little playlist to watch later.
posted by NotTheRedBaron at 9:01 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]


My first year in Arizona, when I was far away from family and hadn’t really formed a lot of the close relationships that came later during my residency, I didn’t make it home for Christmas, and had to work over the holidays. I happened to have Christmas Eve off and decided to take a long solo hike. I called my folks and a person locally to let them know where I’d be, and when to worry if I didn’t call them to let them know that I made it home - and then went out into the desert with plenty of water, my camera, and a hiking stick. It remains one of my favorite holiday memories because I turned a holiday that I was sad about, and felt very alone, into one that was special and didn’t have anything to do with anyone else.

I guess, the moral of the story is to find the things that would make this into a good time for you. Lean into the things that you love to do that don’t have to involve anybody else. .

Agreeing that this is not great headspace for Plath reading.
posted by honeybee413 at 9:19 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]


Phone appointment with therapist is good! I need to set one up with mine. Attention from dating partners has also been fickle. It's definitely unkind to be invited and then uninvited to a holiday dinner, and it makes total sense to be disappointed by that. On some level, I suppose this person just showed you some of their true colors.

Although along those lines, while I tend to be perhaps overly forgiving, I read a really good line on Twitter that has helped me keep the dating stuff in perspective: "...I think one impact of being in the U.S. during COVID right now is that we're all absolutely losing it, but in hyperspecific ways that other people will think is bizarre, because it's not *their* kind of losing it." I think what we're seeing from people isn't necessarily "true colors," but more like "how we respond to catastrophe" or "what our individual coping mechanisms happen to be."

Some of your coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with the pandemic situation might not make sense to potential partners. Some of their ways of behaving might not make sense to you, or might be cruel, but might make total sense to them. That's not to forgive it, necessarily—because I think we should all be doubling down on kindness right now, and they didn't—but to say, it makes sense on some level that it's harder to match up on approach right now, or that people are doing things that seem bizarre to each other.

It makes a lot of sense to be angry with people too! On some level, though, we've also all been set up to be angry with each other. Just remember that the people in charge, who are leaving us all in this situation, want us to be angry at each other so we won't get angry at the government and push for real change.

Definitely cuddle the cat that'll let you do that. It's not the same as affection from a person, but it can still be really nice. I also have one cat that's cuddly and another who will hang out next to me and let me pet her and cuddle her momentarily but doesn't cuddle per se. One of the many awesome things about cats is that even if they can't fulfill all your needs, you for the most part can fulfill all of theirs. They love you and love being loved by you.

I also have about that many books on the bedside table next to my queen-size bed, haha. I would recommend reading books, but definitely not Sylvia Plath. I'm glad you've excised that from your reading list for now! Getting into a sci-fi or fantasy saga is a great idea; I just spent a couple days off recently reading Orson Scott Card's Enchantment. Inasmuch as it had some problematic stuff in it, 'cause Card, it was definitely a great escape!

For Switch, if you can get Katamari Damacy Reroll, that's an entirely different kind of engaging game that might be a lot of fun. I have it and need to play it myself!

You could also start a new streaming series; if there's a language you want to brush up on, you could also try watching streaming series in another language with subtitles on Netflix. I've enjoyed that a lot this year, and it takes enough extra mental work that it tires me out a bit. Hibernating some isn't necessarily bad, either.

If you can also manage to go outside for a while—and I need to take my own advice on this—I would suggest getting out of the environment you're in for a bit. Go for a walk, take photos, tire yourself out a bit more naturally.

But yeah, be well! Just keep in mind, you're far from the only one dealing with all this. A lot of us are there. Much love.
posted by limeonaire at 9:36 PM on December 22, 2020 [5 favorites]


Don't know if helping strangers in an informal way appeals to you at all, but you could ask on whatever place people in your neighborhood communicate if there is anyone feeling alone for the holiday nearby who would like to have you visit masked and outdoors for a half hour. Would give you someone to talk to and help others too.
posted by yohko at 9:45 PM on December 22, 2020


It's always recommended on the green, but reading (and rereading) the Murderbot series got me through a lot this year.

Hades has captured my attention in a way roguelikes generally do not, like I run away from roguelikes. Even though on God mode I still haven't beaten the final boss, but every time I beat a level, I feel a sense of accomplishment even if I've beaten the same level before. It might be worth checking out.
posted by later, paladudes at 10:39 PM on December 22, 2020


You clearly enjoy books (and probably are better at reading than I am) but I find that if I'm lonesome or feeling really "blah," an audiobook read by the author feels more like company than the printed (or e-ink) word does. Especially anything that borders on personal essays/written in first person. I listen to the brief sample online before picking one out because not every author is a good audiobook narrator, but many are.
posted by needs more cowbell at 1:37 AM on December 23, 2020 [1 favorite]


Not much words of advice for you, but I relate. Holidays are the hardest times for people with little to no social support.

Apart from all the good advice here, I wonder if it's possible to post a message on your preferred social media site (or perhaps here in the Meta community) asking everyone who feels alone over the holidays to join you for a virtual party every few days over the next little while. This way, everyone in the group can relate to the feelings of isolation in the holidays, nobody feels like they're intruding on people's private events, and it's a way to possibly form some meaningful connections/friendships with people. I'm sure there would be people interested in being a part of this. I know I would!
posted by KTN at 1:40 AM on December 23, 2020 [2 favorites]


I enjoy the Metafilter MST3k Christmas Party.
posted by JanetLand at 5:45 AM on December 23, 2020 [1 favorite]


I find that if I'm lonesome or feeling really "blah," an audiobook read by the author feels more like company than the printed (or e-ink) word does

This. Also, listening to podcasts, ideally lighthearted topics.
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:54 AM on December 23, 2020 [1 favorite]


Lots of solid ideas and suggestions. I thought of two movies from your post: Netflix’s The Half of It, which is a friend-com and Love, Actually that features a ton of holiday imperfections
posted by childofTethys at 7:08 AM on December 23, 2020


Highly highly recommend Hades on the Switch.
posted by corvine at 8:45 AM on December 23, 2020 [3 favorites]


My advice: You need to bump "perhaps I'll go for a walk by the lake at night" up to "Priority Number One: Go for a long brisk walk in the sunshine." It doesn't matter if you're a day hike kind of person. Your human body evolved to thrive on movement and exposure to sunlight. If you will do it then I give you permission to read Sylvia Plath. (Not really, smutty books are a much better idea!)
posted by HotToddy at 9:42 AM on December 23, 2020 [2 favorites]


You need upbeat media! Not Bojack Horseman, not Sylvia Plath, not even Earthsea. You need the shows and movies in the kind media thread on mefi. You need, like, ridiculous fanfic or cozy mysteries or elaborate fantasy sagas, and brisk walks followed by hot cocoa with whipped cream on top followed by some Stardew Valley with a cheerful friendly podcast chattering away in the background. You need a craft project, or a cooking project, or even an organize-a-closet project.

Sorry, I might be projecting. Those are definitely all things that I need. But maybe they'll be helpful to you, too. In any case, take gentle care of yourself, forgive yourself for feeling down, stay away from things that tend to make you feel more down, and remember that spring is coming, vaccines are coming, you have friends and family that care for you, depression is a lying liar, and this too shall pass.

(Also you asked for book recommendations, I recently read Red, White & Royal Blue based on a recommendation I saw somewhere on mefi, and it is so much fun.)
posted by beandip at 9:53 AM on December 23, 2020 [7 favorites]


For book recommendations, how about reading authors from other ethnicities? They often have their own perspective on suffering and loneliness. Different viewpoints can be helpful for getting out of a rut.

All of the authors you listed are white: Plath, Oscar Wilde, de Beauvoir, Danielewski, V.C. Andrews, Le Guin.

Here are some books with non-white perspectives:
- There, There
- books by Toni Morrison
- Clap When You Land
- Pachinko
etc
posted by cheesecake at 10:13 AM on December 23, 2020 [3 favorites]


+1 for moving your body, outside, in daylight, rather than listening to Sylvia Plath and visiting lakes by night.
posted by penguin pie at 10:38 AM on December 23, 2020 [2 favorites]


Luigi's Mansion 3 on Switch is the best thing I've played all year, highly recommended. I had to use a walkthrough and YT videos but I'm not very good at video games - still had a blast.
posted by porn in the woods at 12:17 PM on December 23, 2020 [1 favorite]


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