Best method to introduce ourselves to new neighbors during Covid-times?

October 19, 2020 2:51 PM

We are finally moving to our dream, stand-alone single-family home in a fairly non-descript neighborhood with other stand-alone homes. After years of living in a townhouse with an open parking lot, we became a bit curmudgeonly and don’t interact much with our townhome neighbors, but I would like to go back to being a lightly friendly neighbor with the residents near my new home. How can we best approach the process of introducing ourselves to our new neighbors given the pandemic?

For *reasons* our experience with our current set of neighbors has not been great lately (including an incident where a neighbor’s dog escaped their house and bit my dog’s face). However, I prefer to be on good terms with and know my neighbors enough to lightly chat and maybe help and be helped with neighborly favors every so often. We used to have this type of relationship with our next door neighbors until they moved, and I miss that dynamic. My mom, who has now lived in the same house for 36 years, also has always had that type of relationship with her neighbors, so I grew up with that as the norm. Now that we have the chance to start from scratch, I want to do what I can to establish that lightly friendly connection in the new neighborhood.

I’m more introverted than not, but in normal times, I would probably walk over to the closest new neighbors the first time I saw them outside if they didn’t seem too busy or in a rush, and would probably try to provide our contact info to them after a few chats if they seemed open to neighborly communication.

With COVID-19, and since I don’t know the neighbors at all yet, I‘m sure it may be alarming to walk up to them and start talking, even if I have a mask on. I have a quiet voice that is hard for others to hear through my masks even if I try my best to talk loudly, so staying very far apart will probably not be conducive to extensive chats.

I thought about leaving a short “Hi, we’re your new neighbors!” note with our names at their doors, but I realize that some people may find that intrusive and/or still too risky, Covid-wise, and I don’t want to start off upsetting anyone as we plan to live here for a long time.

Any tips or recommendations for ways to meet and become friendly with the neighbors without crossing their current boundaries?

posted by hellogoodbye to Human Relations (18 answers total)

put a mask on. knock on the door. when they answer, stand back a few feet. wave and introduce yourself.
posted by fingersandtoes at 2:56 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

One of my new neighbors sent a photo postcard of their family, including their contact information. (They mailed it before they moved in because they were having work done on the house.)
posted by metasarah at 2:59 PM on October 19, 2020 [8 favorites]

Hang out on your front porch, do yard work, go for walks around the neighbourhood, and generally be visible in front of your new house. Your neighbours likely know that the house sold recently and will likely be curious about who bought it.

Leaving a short note with your names, new address, and email or phone number in your neighbours' mailboxes is a great idea.

For fuck's sake do NOT knock on your neighbours' doors! If you did that to me during the pandemic, not only would I not open the door, I would avoid you for the rest of my life.
posted by heatherlogan at 3:01 PM on October 19, 2020 [39 favorites]

I think a note is a perfectly lovely idea. Leave your number(s) so that they can text you. I don't know anyone whose COVID boundaries would prevent them from even picking up a note (with gloves and such, if they like).

I would also recommend - and this may be counterintuitive - if there's a little moving-in-related favor you can ask of them, do make a point of asking it. (Most) people love to be helpful and it's a great way to deepen a neighborly relationship. This doesn't have to be something with any contact involved, if you aren't comfortable - borrowing a ladder or a tool or a cup of sugar or something, perhaps.

Also, once you're comfortable, give them a spare key to your house. It's always helpful to have a trusted neighbor with a key. I moved pretty recently from a place where I didn't know my neighbors at all to a place where I (now) do and it felt like a real milestone when my neighbor gave me their key. I hadn't even remembered that was a thing neighbors do.
posted by mosst at 3:04 PM on October 19, 2020 [3 favorites]

Also - to answer your question more directly - my neighbors introduced themselves by stopping by, at a distance, when we were already hanging out outside. My comfort level is not yours (or theirs), but it didn't feel invasive at all.
posted by mosst at 3:07 PM on October 19, 2020 [5 favorites]

I live in an apartment building and have most of my conversations with neighbors when I'm tending my garden (a 4x6' patch in the oversized planter behind the parking lot). Echoing the suggestion to find ways to spend time outside, then waving and having brief chats with your neighbors.
posted by Lexica at 3:16 PM on October 19, 2020 [4 favorites]

Our neighborhood in Minneapolis is the kind of neighborhood where neighbors chat outside. When a new couple moved in a month ago, those who would have met them in The Before definitely introduced themselves from a distance while they were working on the exterior. We ended up loaning them some tools and have each other's cell phone numbers now too. So over all, it seems about the same dynamic for us, just with masks and distance, and maybe not bringing over food unless you know someone's risk tolerance.

Of course, that might be harder if you are having weather like we are right now, first snow and all.
posted by advicepig at 3:20 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

I left a note for all my neighbors:

Hi!
I'm new here in apt #99. I started a community Slack so we could be in contact as friendly neighbors during the covid crises.

If you'd like to join the Slack, or distance-meet in the outside area please email me at

[e-mail]

Thanks! j_
posted by j_curiouser at 3:35 PM on October 19, 2020 [2 favorites]

I got new neighbors about a month ago. I waited until I saw them outside, then found an “excuse” to go out (I think I went out to bring in or take out the garbage/recycling), waved at them, said hi, and then chatted a bit while each of us were in our own yards. It was very low key and casual and broke the ice. We now have a “stop and visit for a minute” relationship when we’re both outside. I’m not best friends with them but I’d feel very comfortable asking them for a favor if needed and I think they feel the same. (I’m pretty introverted and this felt comfortable to me)
posted by bookmammal at 4:18 PM on October 19, 2020 [5 favorites]

Go for walks, esp. with your dog, and introduce yourself to neighbors.
Join NextDoor if it's active in the area, do an introductory post. I only use it to check out yard sales, it can be weird in some areas, but it lets people know who you are.
posted by theora55 at 6:26 PM on October 19, 2020

If you go the postcard/note route, which sounds great to me, offer an email address. My neighborhood has an informal email list -- swapsies, missing pets, (sigh, not these days) neighborhood parties, tool borrowing, and so on.

Also see if your neighborhood association has an email list.
posted by humbug at 6:32 PM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

I agree that no way in hell do I answer my door any more unless I'm expecting a delivery, so don't do that. My neighbor knocked the other week and I was all "hell no."

If you see someone outside from a distance, you can try communicating, but otherwise I like the "leave a note" method.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:02 PM on October 19, 2020 [2 favorites]

Leaving a note with a greeting and phone number or means of contact feels like the right call here. Otherwise, if the opportunity to introduce yourselves personally in a socially-distanced way comes up naturally, then sure, go for it, but don't seek it out.
posted by Aleyn at 12:10 AM on October 20, 2020

Just say hi to everyone, and be outside a lot.

I wouldn't approach anyone's house: they may be choosing to say inside, or self-isolating, or quarantining!

But leaving a note would be very cool, especially if you include your email address. That way you can make first contact, but move on to like a Facetime/Zoom chat if things warm up.

We moved in at the start of October, and we went for a lot of walks. We had four little kids, so we were hard to miss! We greeted everyone we saw, and always stopped to chat.

That December I impulsively suggested we go Christmas caroling. We did, in fact, do this, and the looks on everyone's face when they opened the door was universally surprise+delight (plus a few "standing here uncomfortably until it ends"). And that definitely made sure people knew us. :7)
posted by wenestvedt at 5:41 AM on October 20, 2020

My current neighborhood has a small, private FaceBook group; we use it to announce loose dogs and garage sales and to give stuff away. It's very calm, compared to most FB groups. :7)

I would avoid Nextdoor, which seems chock full of "There's a brown man outside!!" and "I saw a wild coyote!" posts...though perhaps your area is better? Hard to know if you're new to the area.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:44 AM on October 20, 2020 [1 favorite]

Maybe set up a MeFi IRL event, so some current residents can introduce you around?
posted by wenestvedt at 5:45 AM on October 20, 2020

Response by poster: Thanks for the feedback! I think I will try a hybrid approach. It is about to be leaf raking season and now we will have a large yard to rake, so that and walking the dog will get us outside a bunch. I also will probably try the mail a postcard route since that takes away any door approaching risk.

My husband is on NextDoor in our current area (15 mins away from new place), and it’s thankfully a bit less ignorant than some, so we will see how the tone is when we get over there.
posted by hellogoodbye at 6:42 AM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]

Yes, being outside lots with dogs and kids is a great way to meet neighbors. I have actually found that my neighborhood has gotten more friendly in the pandemic -- everyone's outside more and missing their normal social circles.

My experience over the last three days has also taught me that putting up elaborate holiday decorations is a GREAT conversation starter.

When the pandemic started, I passed out flyers with a family picture and my contact info offering to go shopping for at-risk folks, and met a few neighbors that way. At this point, I imagine everybody's got their routine figured out, but if you can come up with some kind of pandemic-safe holiday event and advertise that, I bet you'd get a few takers. Or even not holiday related -- if we got a note from a new neighbor saying they'd be in their driveway in the evening for a socially distanced meet and greet, I would definitely pop by and say hello.
posted by natabat at 9:37 AM on October 20, 2020 [2 favorites]