Motivating yourself to do something boring that you resent having to do?
October 15, 2020 8:54 AM Subscribe
I have to write the stupid written part of the driver’s test. (Let my license lapse before graduating to the highway so I have to start over). I have ZERO intrinsic interest in Ontario’s (completely unenforced) traffic laws and I hate that I have to do this (even if it’s because of my screw-up). Really need my stupid license though.
I would rather read my shampoo bottles.
Please help.
I would rather read my shampoo bottles.
Please help.
Best answer: I like to announce to a small circle of friends that I'm preparing for X thing, which puts some pressure on me to actually accomplish the thing.
What has also worked for me is to write about what I'll be able to do once I accomplish the thing. It helps to make the writing and daydreaming a pleasurable experience, so not just focus on the functional needs that I can meet, but musing about leisurely drives and seeing the leaves change color, going to visit a dear friend, etc. This seems to prime my brain to look on the bright side of things and connect some anticipated sensory experiences to the accomplishment.
posted by charcoals at 9:29 AM on October 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
What has also worked for me is to write about what I'll be able to do once I accomplish the thing. It helps to make the writing and daydreaming a pleasurable experience, so not just focus on the functional needs that I can meet, but musing about leisurely drives and seeing the leaves change color, going to visit a dear friend, etc. This seems to prime my brain to look on the bright side of things and connect some anticipated sensory experiences to the accomplishment.
posted by charcoals at 9:29 AM on October 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
I find that once I just START something like this, that breaks the ice and I go on to finish the damn thing. Like, if I'm dragging my feet on cleaning the bathroom, I tell myself "okay, let me just wipe the counter and that's it," but when I'm done wiping the counter I've generated enough momentum to keep going and finish the damn thing.
So maybe tell yourself you will just START. Like, you're just going to write two sentences or just a paragraph or do just the first third of the fill-in form or whatever you've got to do. It's annoying, but it's a small enough ask ("okay, FINE, I guess I can do ONE SENTENCE") that it will get you over the initial hump - but then while you're sitting there doing it just follow the momentum as long as it lasts and you may end up just doing the whole thing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:31 AM on October 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
So maybe tell yourself you will just START. Like, you're just going to write two sentences or just a paragraph or do just the first third of the fill-in form or whatever you've got to do. It's annoying, but it's a small enough ask ("okay, FINE, I guess I can do ONE SENTENCE") that it will get you over the initial hump - but then while you're sitting there doing it just follow the momentum as long as it lasts and you may end up just doing the whole thing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:31 AM on October 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
Best answer: I feel this pain!
Of late, I've had to process unemployment paperwork, health insurance applications, etc. It has been daunting and I've been so resistant. Empress C. has it, just start.
I've managed to accomplish hateful tasks by breaking them into the smallest steps possible, such as:
1. Open email or document.
2. Look at content and understand what needs to be done.
3. Set a timer for ten minutes.
4. Start reading/filling out/logging in and get cracking.
5. Keep going or set timer for ten minute (or more)break.
6. Repeat.
To address the boredom/non interest/I don't care mentality, I take handwritten notes, being careful to keep things legible. Also I use highlighters, a stapler, and sticky notes to establish dominance over the power of bureaucracy.
On breaks, I like to do household tasks, so, for example, I can deep clean my refrigerator in between filling out unemployment stuff.
Good luck.
posted by rhonzo at 10:21 AM on October 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
Of late, I've had to process unemployment paperwork, health insurance applications, etc. It has been daunting and I've been so resistant. Empress C. has it, just start.
I've managed to accomplish hateful tasks by breaking them into the smallest steps possible, such as:
1. Open email or document.
2. Look at content and understand what needs to be done.
3. Set a timer for ten minutes.
4. Start reading/filling out/logging in and get cracking.
5. Keep going or set timer for ten minute (or more)break.
6. Repeat.
To address the boredom/non interest/I don't care mentality, I take handwritten notes, being careful to keep things legible. Also I use highlighters, a stapler, and sticky notes to establish dominance over the power of bureaucracy.
On breaks, I like to do household tasks, so, for example, I can deep clean my refrigerator in between filling out unemployment stuff.
Good luck.
posted by rhonzo at 10:21 AM on October 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
I am often in this place. So I feel for you. What sometimes works for me is to decide that this is an opportunity for me to either choose to feel like a victim or to choose to feel like an adult by setting an arbitrary day and time to start said annoying thing and to work on it for no more than 15 minutes. That’s the deal: I only ask myself to work on it for 15 minutes and if I still don’t want to do it at the end of 15 minutes, I am free to get up and do other things and to come back another time.
As noted above, usually it just requires that I sit down and focus for a bit and to get over the hump of “I don’t wanna I don’t wanna I don’t wanna.” That often happens before I hit the five-minute mark. So usually I just sit there and keep going if it’s something that I can finish in a reasonable amount of time. If it’s not, I stop at a place where I know I can pick it up again easily.
My brain is like a toddler and it’s good for me to remember that sometimes I just need to say, sweetheart, I know you don’t wanna do this but you’re not actually a victim. We’re just gonna sit down and take care of this nasty little thing bit by bit until it’s done and we don’t have to worry about it anymore anymore.
Often my brain gives me exaggerated and semi-hysterical reasons for not doing something. And if they’re not exaggerated and semi-hysterical, I mean if they’re good reasons for me to be worried about starting some thing, then I get help by asking a friend to be a body double for me over zoom or by sitting in the same room. That helps anchor me and helps me focus when I do an especially tedious task. This stuff is not easy. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 10:48 AM on October 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
As noted above, usually it just requires that I sit down and focus for a bit and to get over the hump of “I don’t wanna I don’t wanna I don’t wanna.” That often happens before I hit the five-minute mark. So usually I just sit there and keep going if it’s something that I can finish in a reasonable amount of time. If it’s not, I stop at a place where I know I can pick it up again easily.
My brain is like a toddler and it’s good for me to remember that sometimes I just need to say, sweetheart, I know you don’t wanna do this but you’re not actually a victim. We’re just gonna sit down and take care of this nasty little thing bit by bit until it’s done and we don’t have to worry about it anymore anymore.
Often my brain gives me exaggerated and semi-hysterical reasons for not doing something. And if they’re not exaggerated and semi-hysterical, I mean if they’re good reasons for me to be worried about starting some thing, then I get help by asking a friend to be a body double for me over zoom or by sitting in the same room. That helps anchor me and helps me focus when I do an especially tedious task. This stuff is not easy. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 10:48 AM on October 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Bribe yourself. I can't quite tell from the question if you have to go into the DMV (or whatever they're called in Ontario) or if it's something you can do from your home computer. If you can do it at home, buy yourself a nice six pack and a box of snacks, and eat and drink while you're doing the stupid thing. (Probably only one drink until you're sure you've passed the test. ) You can even put a movie on in the background, or else plan that you can watch the movie afterwards. Also, I like to do annoying tasks like this in my comfiest sweatpants pajamas, even if it's the middle of the day.
If you have to go into an office - sort of depends on the lockdown situation, but - make a reservation at an outdoor beer garden or restaurant, and plan to head there right after, or buy a bunch of treats/rent a movie, etc. that you will watch as soon as you get home. If there was something you sort of 'ought' to do in your free time that day - like go for a run - and you'd enjoy skipping it, do so.
Basically, whatever it takes to outweigh the annoyingness of the task with good things on the other side, and enough self-indulgence to feel like you're sort of 'slacking' at the same time you get the sucky thing done.
Do other full-grown adults have enough control over their inner children that they can sternly tell themselves to sit down and JUST DO IT, and they just listen? Maybe! Do I? No, I do not! But I pay all my taxes and my bills on time using this method, so meh.
posted by Merricat Blackwood at 10:50 AM on October 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
If you have to go into an office - sort of depends on the lockdown situation, but - make a reservation at an outdoor beer garden or restaurant, and plan to head there right after, or buy a bunch of treats/rent a movie, etc. that you will watch as soon as you get home. If there was something you sort of 'ought' to do in your free time that day - like go for a run - and you'd enjoy skipping it, do so.
Basically, whatever it takes to outweigh the annoyingness of the task with good things on the other side, and enough self-indulgence to feel like you're sort of 'slacking' at the same time you get the sucky thing done.
Do other full-grown adults have enough control over their inner children that they can sternly tell themselves to sit down and JUST DO IT, and they just listen? Maybe! Do I? No, I do not! But I pay all my taxes and my bills on time using this method, so meh.
posted by Merricat Blackwood at 10:50 AM on October 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I don't think that this is a problem of motivation; I think it's a problem of urgency.
If you needed to drive someplace important next Tuesday, you'd study and take the test over the weekend, because there's a concrete deadline you need to meet.
Right now it sounds like you need to get your license because being able to drive legally is an important thing you need to be able to do. It's a solid goal, but it's not a real, actual need for you yet.
Assuming you're not already driving but without a license, I would suggest creating a real deadline. Make plans with a friend or family member (or just yourself) for a specific date to go somewhere you can only get to by driving. Or to go somewhere where you need to show a valid license.
posted by Mchelly at 11:04 AM on October 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
If you needed to drive someplace important next Tuesday, you'd study and take the test over the weekend, because there's a concrete deadline you need to meet.
Right now it sounds like you need to get your license because being able to drive legally is an important thing you need to be able to do. It's a solid goal, but it's not a real, actual need for you yet.
Assuming you're not already driving but without a license, I would suggest creating a real deadline. Make plans with a friend or family member (or just yourself) for a specific date to go somewhere you can only get to by driving. Or to go somewhere where you need to show a valid license.
posted by Mchelly at 11:04 AM on October 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
I recently had to take a midterm after over 15 years of not having to take a test (mostly wrote papers instead). I REALLY did not want to do it. I studied for it by making a powerpoint presentation of how I would teach the class to someone in under twenty slides. It worked! So maybe imagine a really bored teenager, having to do this for the first time. How would you teach them the material?
posted by CMcG at 11:25 AM on October 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by CMcG at 11:25 AM on October 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
One of my mantras is "Right away is the easiest way!" because the sooner you start the sooner it's over with.
posted by jgirl at 11:35 AM on October 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by jgirl at 11:35 AM on October 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Mchelly's suggestion -- making it a matter of urgency -- is my primary motivator.
I'm motivated to do laundry when I run out of clean socks.
I'm motivated to deal with the recyclables when tomorrow morning is the day the city picks them up in my neighborhood.
I tend to be better about pre-emptive action when it comes to health care, both for me and for my pets. (For example, I never want to be motivated to set up my cat's rabies shot by his having been bitten by another, rabid critter.)
posted by virago at 12:04 PM on October 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
I'm motivated to do laundry when I run out of clean socks.
I'm motivated to deal with the recyclables when tomorrow morning is the day the city picks them up in my neighborhood.
I tend to be better about pre-emptive action when it comes to health care, both for me and for my pets. (For example, I never want to be motivated to set up my cat's rabies shot by his having been bitten by another, rabid critter.)
posted by virago at 12:04 PM on October 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I read recently that it's easier to beat procrastination if your first step is a physical one (even if it's actually digital). For example if you're going to start the project of "paying your taxes" a good first step might be "look through the mail on the counter for relevant tax forms" or even "open email from my accountant". For some reason as humans these types of hurdles seem achievable, and you are already starting to build momentum.
Another trick I like for this sort of thing is to only take on a maximum of one soul crushing adulting thing at a time. So if I decide I can complete it by the end of next week (or whatever is a reasonable timeframe), then throughout that time period if I start to slack on the required steps I can remind myself that oh, if I just follow the steps I've planned out, this annoying thing will be done by next week and I'll be free! Sweet relief!
posted by internet of pillows at 12:43 PM on October 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
Another trick I like for this sort of thing is to only take on a maximum of one soul crushing adulting thing at a time. So if I decide I can complete it by the end of next week (or whatever is a reasonable timeframe), then throughout that time period if I start to slack on the required steps I can remind myself that oh, if I just follow the steps I've planned out, this annoying thing will be done by next week and I'll be free! Sweet relief!
posted by internet of pillows at 12:43 PM on October 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I recently read somewhere to ask yourself when facing drudgery, "Is there realistically going to be some later time when I want to do this?" The answer has been no for me (every time), so I may as well do it now.
posted by charcoals at 4:09 PM on October 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by charcoals at 4:09 PM on October 15, 2020 [4 favorites]
I'm not sure reading this is if your driver's test is anything like the ones I've had to take over the years (including when I accidentally filled out the "renew state ID" instead of "renew driver's license"), because I'm thinking "you have to write an essay or something?" Is that a thing in Canada?
But life is super inconvenient when you can't drive AND now you'll have to what, take public transport in a pandemic? That'd be enough motivation for me. Use whatever techniques you had to use back in the day to memorize crap. That pomodoro method thing might help so that you are not doing nothing but memorization. Break it up. Just do it for (whatever) amount of minutes and then do a break.
If it helps anything, I dislike having to deal with the test questions myself, but have eventually learned what I call "DMV Logic." Which translates into "just memorize this shit blind and regurgitate it on the test rather than using actual driving logic I would use while driving," because DMV logic is ridiculous to me. Maybe Canadian driver's exams might be less dumb, I don't know, but just doing what they tell you to do and getting out works best.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:33 PM on October 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
But life is super inconvenient when you can't drive AND now you'll have to what, take public transport in a pandemic? That'd be enough motivation for me. Use whatever techniques you had to use back in the day to memorize crap. That pomodoro method thing might help so that you are not doing nothing but memorization. Break it up. Just do it for (whatever) amount of minutes and then do a break.
If it helps anything, I dislike having to deal with the test questions myself, but have eventually learned what I call "DMV Logic." Which translates into "just memorize this shit blind and regurgitate it on the test rather than using actual driving logic I would use while driving," because DMV logic is ridiculous to me. Maybe Canadian driver's exams might be less dumb, I don't know, but just doing what they tell you to do and getting out works best.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:33 PM on October 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
What's the worst thing that can happen if you don't renew your driver's license?
1) You or a loved one have an accident and you must drive them to the hospital. Or you desperately need medication at dark-thirty in the morning and the pharmacy that is open is across town.
2) A wonderful opportunity opens up -- which involves driving.
3) You have no money for a taxi.
4) You find another reason that requires a driver's license besides getting behind the wheel. In the United States REAL I.D. is required by October 2021 to fly domestic (or always carry your passport). A driver's license or other photo I.D. may be needed for vehicle insurance, banking, voting, etc.
If you think passing the written test is boring, imagine having to grade those answers.
If the anxiety is the issue, swing by a testing agency and ask: What is a good answer to this question? Short of regurgitating the driver's ed manual verbatim, how do I pass this the first time?
Let them know that you are a safe driver. You take being on the road seriously. You obey the laws (whether they are enforceable or not).
You are not the first person to be stressed out by this. If you need more training, or another type of testing procedure, then get it. Find out about your options.
The testing agency is there to assist you, and they would rather aid you in being an excellent driver now, rather than a hazard on the road later.
Driving is a life-long educational process. The license is just the beginning.
Good luck.
posted by TrishaU at 4:18 AM on October 16, 2020 [1 favorite]
1) You or a loved one have an accident and you must drive them to the hospital. Or you desperately need medication at dark-thirty in the morning and the pharmacy that is open is across town.
2) A wonderful opportunity opens up -- which involves driving.
3) You have no money for a taxi.
4) You find another reason that requires a driver's license besides getting behind the wheel. In the United States REAL I.D. is required by October 2021 to fly domestic (or always carry your passport). A driver's license or other photo I.D. may be needed for vehicle insurance, banking, voting, etc.
If you think passing the written test is boring, imagine having to grade those answers.
If the anxiety is the issue, swing by a testing agency and ask: What is a good answer to this question? Short of regurgitating the driver's ed manual verbatim, how do I pass this the first time?
Let them know that you are a safe driver. You take being on the road seriously. You obey the laws (whether they are enforceable or not).
You are not the first person to be stressed out by this. If you need more training, or another type of testing procedure, then get it. Find out about your options.
The testing agency is there to assist you, and they would rather aid you in being an excellent driver now, rather than a hazard on the road later.
Driving is a life-long educational process. The license is just the beginning.
Good luck.
posted by TrishaU at 4:18 AM on October 16, 2020 [1 favorite]
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