please help roscoe

March 22, 2006 9:19 AM

i went hunting with my friend roscoe, and i accidentally shot him in the left knee and right forearm when i shot at a giant kodiak squirrel.

Roscoe don't have no insurance and I ain't got the money to get him to a good doctor, so when he passed out I took him to my basement and removed the bullets (using my field dress kit). He seems to be healed up ok on the entry wounds, but he hasn't opened his eyes in about 3.5 weeks. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

posted by dvottero to health & fitness (7 comments total)

oh, gentlemans, this is a serius issue. I am worryd about Roscoe and need to know what to do
posted by dvottero at 9:36 AM on March 22, 2006

What happens when you pry his eyes open?
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:41 AM on March 22, 2006

Well, if you're serious (which many of us here doubt), the answer is: get Roscoe to a hospital. Or, maintain the status quo, and face a possible manslaughter charge.
posted by ericb at 9:41 AM on March 22, 2006

wow, your spelling and grammar have really gone downhill. i was just looking some of your older questions and answers, and well, you almost seem like a different person now!
posted by poppo at 9:42 AM on March 22, 2006

ditto poppo - funny how you used to be able to spell and punctuate. Get him to a hospital, if you're serious.
posted by altolinguistic at 9:44 AM on March 22, 2006

This previous AskMe may be of some assistance to you.
posted by dersins at 9:46 AM on March 22, 2006

This is a joke.
1) There is no such thing as a "giant kodiak squirrel".
2) Read his other question. Sound like the same person?

Flag and dont respond.
posted by baphomet at 9:50 AM on March 22, 2006