Help Me Defrizz!

September 23, 2020 2:33 PM

Hi All, I have looked at previous questions, but I still need help with my frizzy hair.

I have very thick auburn hair (like russian-heritage auburn, not irish-heritage red). It is unevenly wavy/straight, but this question isn't really about that. My hair used to be thick but pretty smooth. As I am getting older, it is SO FRIZZY on the topmost layer. Like, I think it looks terrible down! It makes me sad. There are lots of hairs that are kinda curly and stick up/are frizzy. Some are white. Some are not. I guess they are...kinky?
I have tried Kerastate oil, R+Co. Tinsel and R+Co. hairspray, and Aveda hair oil of some kind. Does anyone have any other suggestions of products to try? I have also tried Moroccan oil but haven't liked the smell.

posted by bookworm4125 to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (21 answers total)

I have naturally curly hair as well that frizzes more than it used to due to silvering. I've found that oil or serums by themselves aren't really helpful, but I use a couple of pumps of regular conditioner (not leave-in) and mix in a small amount of oil, then smooth that through wet hair and leave it to dry naturally. I also noticed less frizz when I stopped towel-drying my hair and instead blot it with a microfiber towel before adding product.
posted by mezzanayne at 3:00 PM on September 23, 2020 [3 favorites]

Use a silk or satin pillowcase. Seriously. The fact that it's the top layer makes it likely that it's at least partially damage from your pillowcase or other environmental factors. This has helped my similar hair a ton.
posted by quiet coyote at 3:14 PM on September 23, 2020 [7 favorites]

I have much curlier hair than yours, but for me gel is really the only post-wash product that works on my hair in terms of frizz reduction. I put it on when my hair is wet, and then once it's fully dry I "scrunch" it with my fingers until it doesn't feel or look crunchy. But I also find that my gray hairs are more wiry and prone to flying away than the rest of my hair.

You also might find that a silk/satin pillowcase helps for frizz prevention, if you don't wash your hair every morning.
posted by geegollygosh at 3:16 PM on September 23, 2020 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: geegollygosh what kind of gel do you like?
posted by bookworm4125 at 3:20 PM on September 23, 2020

We could be hair twins, although mine is mostly grey. The best thing I have ever found is a keratin thermal treatment, which didn't remove the curl but made it so, so much more manageable, especially the wispy baby hairs in front of my ears . It also cost $350 and I've never brought myself to spend that kind of money on my hair again.

In dry weather, flaxseed gel and air drying work pretty well, if I want it curly. I think if I ever go back to an office I might wind up blowdrying it every morning.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 3:22 PM on September 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

I use this Tancho vegetable pomade for the frizzies on the top. It smells strongly of lavender and works really well for my frizzies.
posted by answergrape at 3:23 PM on September 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

I use LA Looks, the blue one. I'm not sure what it would be like for mostly-straight hair, but it's the cheap go-to for lots of people with curly hair, and it's only a couple bucks so not a huge investment to try. You could probably try just smoothing a bit over the top layer of hair rather than going all in on it.
posted by geegollygosh at 3:27 PM on September 23, 2020 [2 favorites]

It's spendy but Olaplex has really improved my wavy/curly hair that has been getting progressively more dry/frizzy as I get more gray. The Olaplex No. 6 is a styling/smoothing cream and I use that 2-3x a week. You only use a tiny amount so the bottle lasts a long time. The Olaplex No. 3 is a more heavy duty treatment that you put in all over and leave in, then wash out (I usually leave it in all night), and you would do this once every couple weeks. It might all be pseudoscience but I have to say that my hair become noticeably softer and more moisturized.
posted by rogerroger at 3:55 PM on September 23, 2020 [3 favorites]

I have hair a lot like yours, very thick, coarse texture and wavy/curly, lots of frizz and it is harder with age to get a nice wave/curl pattern with air drying that I used to be able to achieve with products, even five years ago.

So I have three different ways of working with my hair depending upon how I feel. The first is to blow dry it using the Revlon Dryer Brush. It takes a bit of practice but it will create a smooth-ish finish and it is much easier to use than a brush and blowdryer.

The second thing I might do is let my hair air dry, and then flat iron it. This takes more time but I am always pretty happy with the end result and it completely eliminates the frizz and makes it feel so much less thick and dense.

Finally, if I am going to aim for non-heat style, and let it air dry, these are the products I use (I will also use them with straightening, but less of them). I have tried gel, and it just makes my hair feel thicker and more out of control. You don't say your hair texture, but these are pretty good for coarse hair:

- Matrix Biolage Conditioning Balm (Sally Beauty carries a cheap generic for this called GVP Conditioning Balm)
- Davines Oi All in One Milk
- Carol's Daughter Hair Milk (the original one)

And on preview, I have heard good things about Olaplex.
posted by nanook at 4:08 PM on September 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

As am Eastern European curly/frizz monster, I have found great success with hair products made for African American women. They usually focus on moisturizing in addition to, for example, curl definition. Target has a large selection of so called "ethnic hair products" and I recommend trying some. They also tend to be way less expensive than many of the above recommended products. Carol's Daughter, Miss Jessie's and Cantu are all brands I've had success with. (I also have flaky scalp sometimes and really like the head and shoulders royal oils line (which is also for African American hair).
posted by atomicstone at 4:15 PM on September 23, 2020 [6 favorites]

My hair is sort of like yours and has gotten frizzier as I get older/more white hairs.

I improved frizz and overall quality by washing my hair less often, and doing conditioner only in between. So most days I rinse with water, every third or so I do conditioner only, and once a week ish I use shampoo. Obviously hair is very complex, and this probably depends on hair length and skin oil etc., but doing less helped me.
posted by SaltySalticid at 4:31 PM on September 23, 2020

Living Proof has a whole range of no frizz products - I've mainly used the styling products and have liked them a lot.
posted by mogget at 6:04 PM on September 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

I have thick, coarse, curly/ wavy hair that is very frizzy. I use several spritzes of silicon-based shine spray on wet hair, plus a quarter-sized blob of gel. I have not found more expensive versions of these products to be better.

My white hair is coarser and wirier. It's about waist length right now, I mostly braid it because summer & humidity. When I have lived in deserts, my hair is not wild; it's a weird experience.
posted by theora55 at 6:06 PM on September 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

I have majorly frizzy hair and really struggled with air drying during the brutal summer we just had. Living Proof products really do work great and I think you should try this one.
Other things that help: get a wide-toothed comb for combing through your product and then don’t touch it or brush it again. Sulphate-free conditioner. A flat iron does come in handy sometimes.
posted by cakelite at 6:49 PM on September 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

Seconding the flat iron... i use a big round brush to tame the random waves and make it mostly straight but the flat iron gives the polish. Importantly, it also seals the cuticle better than otherwise to guard against the effects of humidity you might encounter during the day (it’s not perfect; humid enough and things get frizzy again, but way better than without the ironing)
posted by Tandem Affinity at 7:42 PM on September 23, 2020

That section of hair is called your “canopy” I guess. Mine’s also frizzy (no dye, minimal heat). I think it’s just aging meets sunlight/humidity/hard water etc with (in my case) a dash of low-normal ferritin (could be thyroid or probably a few other things for different people). Also have wavy hair

I’m getting decent frizz control using a protein-heavy conditioner (in my case that’s Nexxus Emergencee), preceded by a clarifying shampoo (or a volumizing one, I don’t need volume, but “volumizing” shampoos tend to rinse super clean. Drugstore brands eg Dove are fine for shampoo imo).

If it’s really humid, running a dehumidifier in the place until my hair dries seems to help.

An acidic styling product eg something that includes aloe vera can help temporarily close down (& thus flatten) the hair cuticle. You could mix a bit in with some gel (any gel). Otherwise, I actually quite liked a curl cream from Pantene I got on a whim (can’t remember the exact name, sorry!), or Kevin Murphy Easy Rider styling cream is great, if you want to splurge. A tiny bit of either goes a long way. Kevin Murphy conditioners are great, too.
posted by cotton dress sock at 7:50 PM on September 23, 2020 [3 favorites]

Plop it!

It really doesn’t matter what gel you use, it’s the putting your hair up in the T-shirt that helps. A regular towel will not work.
posted by Violet Hour at 10:12 PM on September 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

Seconding a satin pillowcase! I didn't believe it until I tried it.
posted by mefireader at 11:49 PM on September 23, 2020

Have you tried the Curly Girl Method? I have thick, coarse, wavy auburn hair and it has worked very well for me. Here's the beginner cheat sheet and the subreddit's guide. The cheat sheet includes product recs.

Specifics: the Shea Moisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil line for shampoo, conditioner, gel, and deep conditioner, and their Protein Power Treatment for a weekly mask under a heat cap. I also use a silk pillowcase and a microfiber towel.
posted by moons in june at 1:48 AM on September 24, 2020 [2 favorites]

Nthing a silk sleep bonnet or pillowcase. The best products and techniques in the world arent going to do much if your hair is getting damaged from sleeping on a regular pillowcase.

As your hair ages, it gets drier, which makes it more prone to break and frizz from situations that didnt used to have that effect. So it kinks and breaks, leading to a fuzzy halo. It will take a few months to grow those hairs back out, but you'll notice things are less frizzy immediately.
posted by ananci at 7:24 AM on September 24, 2020

My part wavy-part curly, white/brown fine-coarse hair mix responds well to the Curly Girl method of washing, conditioning and squishing Curvaceous and Awapuhi mousse into it, and letting it air-dry. I also get a precision layer cut every 12 weeks. Silicone products just weighed it down. YMMV.
posted by Lynsey at 8:17 AM on September 24, 2020