Freelancer etiquette guidance needed, please.
September 19, 2020 3:01 AM Subscribe
I'm a freelancer, and I appear to have lost a longtime client. Is there a non-nutty way to ask my client why? Details inside.
I am a "teapot quality control professional" and for more than 7 years I've been a freelancer, working on more than 250 projects. Many of my clients are repeats, and I get good feedback on my work. The nature of my work is such that 100% of it is done remotely, and I only occasionally meet my clients in person at teapot conferences. Many clients I've never actually met.
Jane Doe was among my first clients 7 years ago, and I worked on her very first teapot project and all her subsequent projects*, and watched as she grew her career and became a big deal in the teapot world. Now she's got a pretty major teapot career. (*She would occasionally do a tiny free bonus project for her fans, so small and casual that she did the quality control on her own, which is reasonable in our industry.)
I've been happy to work with her, and also extra flexible as during our last few projects she had problems on her end that affected our timelines. I've done rush work from time to time, and done extra work in other ways. On the last project, there was quite a bit of rush & extra, and while I didn't charge her an enormous amount, I did have to charge her more than the basic rate. She has many times expressed gratefulness and said "I'd pay you ten times as much because you do such a good job." There have also been a few projects where I didn't get to do the entire scope of my work because she finished projects so close to her own deadline that I only saw, for example, the teapot itself but not the lid or the handle because she wasn't finished with them yet.
Which brings us to now: I saw publicity for her next project which is about to release, and I have not worked on it. I would love to know why. Some scenarios I consider:
-- She's not happy with my work. Even if she never wants to book me again, I'd love to hear this feedback because I always want to improve my skills. If I'm dropping the ball somewhere, I'd like to know.
-- She's not happy with my rates. This is data I would like to know, though I probably wouldn't change my rates for her or anyone else.
-- There's something else about my work process that isn't working for her anymore. The fact that I can't even think of what it might be means necessarily that I'd want to know -- I want to be alerted to my blind spots.
-- She still wants to work with me but didn't for some reason on this one. Maybe this is part of it...but given that this current project is within a series of teapots I'd already worked on it doesn't really make logical sense for continuity.
So, should I ask her? If yes, how should I phrase it? I definitely don't want to appear angry or defensive. I am truly professionally curious. Or do I have to just chalk it up to freelance life and move along without asking?
I am a "teapot quality control professional" and for more than 7 years I've been a freelancer, working on more than 250 projects. Many of my clients are repeats, and I get good feedback on my work. The nature of my work is such that 100% of it is done remotely, and I only occasionally meet my clients in person at teapot conferences. Many clients I've never actually met.
Jane Doe was among my first clients 7 years ago, and I worked on her very first teapot project and all her subsequent projects*, and watched as she grew her career and became a big deal in the teapot world. Now she's got a pretty major teapot career. (*She would occasionally do a tiny free bonus project for her fans, so small and casual that she did the quality control on her own, which is reasonable in our industry.)
I've been happy to work with her, and also extra flexible as during our last few projects she had problems on her end that affected our timelines. I've done rush work from time to time, and done extra work in other ways. On the last project, there was quite a bit of rush & extra, and while I didn't charge her an enormous amount, I did have to charge her more than the basic rate. She has many times expressed gratefulness and said "I'd pay you ten times as much because you do such a good job." There have also been a few projects where I didn't get to do the entire scope of my work because she finished projects so close to her own deadline that I only saw, for example, the teapot itself but not the lid or the handle because she wasn't finished with them yet.
Which brings us to now: I saw publicity for her next project which is about to release, and I have not worked on it. I would love to know why. Some scenarios I consider:
-- She's not happy with my work. Even if she never wants to book me again, I'd love to hear this feedback because I always want to improve my skills. If I'm dropping the ball somewhere, I'd like to know.
-- She's not happy with my rates. This is data I would like to know, though I probably wouldn't change my rates for her or anyone else.
-- There's something else about my work process that isn't working for her anymore. The fact that I can't even think of what it might be means necessarily that I'd want to know -- I want to be alerted to my blind spots.
-- She still wants to work with me but didn't for some reason on this one. Maybe this is part of it...but given that this current project is within a series of teapots I'd already worked on it doesn't really make logical sense for continuity.
So, should I ask her? If yes, how should I phrase it? I definitely don't want to appear angry or defensive. I am truly professionally curious. Or do I have to just chalk it up to freelance life and move along without asking?
I'm mostly not a freelancer, but I do work for a small company that serves a mix of repeat clients (many long-term ones, and they have come and gone over the years) and one-offs, and being a small company I'm often wearing multiple hats as salesman/project manager/teapot technician/main point of contact with many clients.
For now, I would let this go. Because there are so many possible reasons why a client might choose to not use you for a project (or drop you as a service provider) that really have almost nothing to do with the quality or cost of your services.
Like, my first thought was that another freelancer, or the multi-state Teapot Quality Control Corporation, poached them as a client by making them an offer they couldn't refuse - twice the work at half the price or whatever. (Which may well turn out to be unrealistic, but they didn't know that going in.) Or their cousin's wife has decided to take a shot at being a teapot quality control technician so they bowed to family pressure to let the cousin's wife gain some experience and boost her CV by working with your client. Or they have a new accountant who is insisting they have to cut costs, and one way to do that is to do more of the quality control themselves. Or or or or or . . .
You're (understandably) framing this in your own head as "what did I do wrong and how can I fix it?" But there's a real chance you didn't do anything wrong - and, by the way, working at a rate that this particular client can no longer afford (if that's actually what has happened) is not particularly a sign that your rates are "wrong." So you won't actually get any useful feedback on things you might improve, and trying to approach them now in the immediate wake of a new project release is, I think, going to come across as sort of unprofessionally demanding. Sometimes business relationships are like personal relationships - people have different life circumstances and changes and can drift apart without anyone being "wrong." But in a business relationship you don't necessarily really have the, the, what's the phrase I'm looking for? the emotional weight and connection to justify a deep discussion about who might have been wrong or not or what might have changed.
IOW, if they do have a problem with your work or cost, asking them for details is basically asking them to have an uncomfortable conversation, and if they have some kind of external reason for not using you, that could also be an uncomfortable conversation - it could be embarrassing to admit to family pressure, or sales pressure from another provider, or that their own finances are fucked up to the point where they can't afford you. And part of the reason this could be an especially difficult conversation now is because they're releasing a new teapot that they know darn well you didn't work on - if they have any guilt or embarrassment about why you didn't work on this project you're kinda poking a fresh wound.
If I were you, I would actually wait for a few months and send them an Xmas/holiday card (or email, but card is better) thanking them for their past work, and use mercredi's "I’m always trying to stay competitive in the teapot quality control field, so if you had a second I’d love to know what I could do to work with you on your next project" line. You've given them some time to reassess their working relationship with you in light of the project(s) you haven't worked on, and you've given them some space to work through any possible raw feelings they may have about not using you, and so if there's an uncomfortable conversation to be had about your work or their circumstances (or both) they may be more willing to have that since it's not so immediate.
posted by soundguy99 at 5:59 AM on September 19, 2020 [19 favorites]
For now, I would let this go. Because there are so many possible reasons why a client might choose to not use you for a project (or drop you as a service provider) that really have almost nothing to do with the quality or cost of your services.
Like, my first thought was that another freelancer, or the multi-state Teapot Quality Control Corporation, poached them as a client by making them an offer they couldn't refuse - twice the work at half the price or whatever. (Which may well turn out to be unrealistic, but they didn't know that going in.) Or their cousin's wife has decided to take a shot at being a teapot quality control technician so they bowed to family pressure to let the cousin's wife gain some experience and boost her CV by working with your client. Or they have a new accountant who is insisting they have to cut costs, and one way to do that is to do more of the quality control themselves. Or or or or or . . .
You're (understandably) framing this in your own head as "what did I do wrong and how can I fix it?" But there's a real chance you didn't do anything wrong - and, by the way, working at a rate that this particular client can no longer afford (if that's actually what has happened) is not particularly a sign that your rates are "wrong." So you won't actually get any useful feedback on things you might improve, and trying to approach them now in the immediate wake of a new project release is, I think, going to come across as sort of unprofessionally demanding. Sometimes business relationships are like personal relationships - people have different life circumstances and changes and can drift apart without anyone being "wrong." But in a business relationship you don't necessarily really have the, the, what's the phrase I'm looking for? the emotional weight and connection to justify a deep discussion about who might have been wrong or not or what might have changed.
IOW, if they do have a problem with your work or cost, asking them for details is basically asking them to have an uncomfortable conversation, and if they have some kind of external reason for not using you, that could also be an uncomfortable conversation - it could be embarrassing to admit to family pressure, or sales pressure from another provider, or that their own finances are fucked up to the point where they can't afford you. And part of the reason this could be an especially difficult conversation now is because they're releasing a new teapot that they know darn well you didn't work on - if they have any guilt or embarrassment about why you didn't work on this project you're kinda poking a fresh wound.
If I were you, I would actually wait for a few months and send them an Xmas/holiday card (or email, but card is better) thanking them for their past work, and use mercredi's "I’m always trying to stay competitive in the teapot quality control field, so if you had a second I’d love to know what I could do to work with you on your next project" line. You've given them some time to reassess their working relationship with you in light of the project(s) you haven't worked on, and you've given them some space to work through any possible raw feelings they may have about not using you, and so if there's an uncomfortable conversation to be had about your work or their circumstances (or both) they may be more willing to have that since it's not so immediate.
posted by soundguy99 at 5:59 AM on September 19, 2020 [19 favorites]
Your client just may have wanted to work with another vendor to see what the experience/cost/quality factors are like.
Just keep it professional- you have no information indicating otherwise.
Contact them as usual to see if there are opportunities to work together again- and sincerely congratulate them on the latest teapot launch.
posted by calgirl at 10:31 AM on September 19, 2020
Just keep it professional- you have no information indicating otherwise.
Contact them as usual to see if there are opportunities to work together again- and sincerely congratulate them on the latest teapot launch.
posted by calgirl at 10:31 AM on September 19, 2020
I would let it go. Send a congrats note and indicate a willingness/interest/desire to work together again.
You might consider doing an annual survey with all your clients with a few questions on quality, timeliness, pricing, etc., whatever is relevant. Or do it after every project.
posted by shoesietart at 10:49 AM on September 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
You might consider doing an annual survey with all your clients with a few questions on quality, timeliness, pricing, etc., whatever is relevant. Or do it after every project.
posted by shoesietart at 10:49 AM on September 19, 2020 [2 favorites]
As a former freelancer, I would also let this go for now. You are saying you're professionally curious, but it actually sounds like you are taking this a bit personally -- which is reasonable I think, but she isn't obligated to work with you on every project. If you noticed a pattern, I think that'd be much different grounds for inquiring.
I agree that you should be regularly assessing these scenarios with all your clients.
posted by sm1tten at 12:06 PM on September 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
I agree that you should be regularly assessing these scenarios with all your clients.
posted by sm1tten at 12:06 PM on September 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
As a long-time consultant, I wouldn't bring up the feelings of self-doubt or exclusion you're having, and instead I would ask for her feedback on your strengths and weaknesses, as she's a valued and trusted long-time collaborator. I would keep the tone open and curious, and let her know that you see feedback as a gift (if indeed you do), and that you appreciate her unique perspective.
If she needs structure, I'm a fan of gathering feedback in the framework of "what should I keep doing/stop doing/start doing?" I give people time to think and write it, then follow up in person.
I think you could have a great conversation that covers the reasons she values you and your work, and opens the door for her to tell you anything you need to know about what you need to do to keep working with her. If your relationship is strong and she's given the opportunity to help you see past a blind spot, I bet she'll take it.
Good luck!
posted by nadise at 1:24 PM on September 19, 2020
If she needs structure, I'm a fan of gathering feedback in the framework of "what should I keep doing/stop doing/start doing?" I give people time to think and write it, then follow up in person.
I think you could have a great conversation that covers the reasons she values you and your work, and opens the door for her to tell you anything you need to know about what you need to do to keep working with her. If your relationship is strong and she's given the opportunity to help you see past a blind spot, I bet she'll take it.
Good luck!
posted by nadise at 1:24 PM on September 19, 2020
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If I were going to do this, I’d say this. It will be a little awkward, but it asks the questions and moves on. It also acknowledges that this is a business relationship (“competitiveness”) and giver her a chance to frame it that way, too.
posted by mercredi at 5:17 AM on September 19, 2020 [3 favorites]