How Does One Know They're Finished When Using a Bidet?

September 12, 2020 10:18 AM

I just installed a bidet for the first time. Without wanting to get crass...how does a person know they're "finished" when using a bidet? As in, how do you know when you're entirely clean?
posted by Ipsifendus to Home & Garden (12 answers total)

Good question. I usually (without noting) spend 15-30 seconds washing, or so, and then pat dry. My bidet is a basic washing model with no drying functionality.
posted by hijinx at 10:26 AM on September 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

Best answer: When you wipe your ass and it comes up clean.

This isn't snark.
posted by 2N2222 at 10:27 AM on September 12, 2020 [11 favorites]

Best answer: Your TP will tell you.
posted by HotToddy at 11:00 AM on September 12, 2020 [3 favorites]

I tend to hit every area that could be afflicted with debris of some kind with the water blast. My real issue is where to put the testes, I can't help but imagine in my head that when dangling in-bowl that the bidet flicks material onto them, meaning those also get a rinse if in there. I finish bidet use with a wet-wipe wipe of the region, then a drying with toilet paper, were either of those not visibly clean, I would re-engage bidet, but I ain't had that occurrence as of yet.
posted by GoblinHoney at 11:31 AM on September 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Make the rounds, and then check/dry.
posted by Swisstine at 11:44 AM on September 12, 2020

It doesn't take a lot of water to get you really clean. I don't have a bidet but I use a personal hygiene bottle (aka a portable bidet) which holds 620ml of water (so about 2.5 cups). You fill it with warm water and when the bottle is squeezed, it squirts a jet of water. 620ml is more than enough to get everything clean. I'm guessing a bidet attached to a toilet will use more than 2.5 cups of water so should get you properly clean.
posted by essexjan at 2:19 PM on September 12, 2020

I don't use a bidet but we do have a diaper sprayer that accomplishes the same thing. I still need to check the TP despite the blast of water. My digestive system won't allow me anything else. Check until you feel like you can trust it, maybe?
posted by Issithe at 3:05 PM on September 12, 2020

If you have to use TP anyway, what’s the point?
posted by Jubey at 3:12 PM on September 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

If you have to use TP anyway, what’s the point?

It’s the difference between wiping shit off your hands with paper and washing it off with water. The point is to get clean. If your bidet doesn’t have a blow dryer, the role of TP is to dry off the water.
posted by HotToddy at 3:41 PM on September 12, 2020 [5 favorites]

If you have to use TP anyway, what’s the point?

The point is cleanliness.

I don't think the bidet and tp are exclusive of each other. Think of it this way. When I shower, most of my body is rinsed off with water and that's good enough. However, I find it much more effective if I use a soapy washcloth on my stinky bits. It's the same idea. The TP is more a companion to the bidet than a replacement. It's not like you have to use one or the other.
posted by 2N2222 at 3:55 PM on September 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

I have a bidet but I still use TP to dry. Practicing with TP as your backup will get you used to how it cleans and how long it takes and whether or not you need to wiggle yourself around to get the stream to go where it needs to go. While I could probably stop using TP at this point from a cleanliness perspective, I've never felt like it was unnecessary. However, I do use a lot less of it than I did before I had a bidet.
posted by Aleyn at 8:51 PM on September 12, 2020 [1 favorite]

My order of operations:
1. Use the water to wash my bum.
2. Use the fingers on one hand to check for straggling bits and keep washing if necessary.
3. Thoroughly wash my hands with soap, covid style.
4. Dry hands and bum off with dedicated towel.

Everything gets squeaky clean, no TP necessary. I use TP to dry when visiting other people's residences.

I get that step 2 might seem gross but that's really only true if you're not great at washing your hands. People in some countries other than the US are quite used to this.
posted by el gran combo at 11:17 AM on September 13, 2020 [1 favorite]