Help me find a bra that won't hurt my spleen.
August 5, 2020 3:14 PM Subscribe
After 5 years of dealing with myelofibrosis, my spleen has decided to set up shop to produce its own blood cells. This means my spleen, which like most people, I never previously thought about, is now tender and swollen. The problem is bra bands, which are causing me quite a lot of discomfort. I'm considering a wider band or long-line bra because regular bras, even sport bras, are hurting me. Suggestions appreciated, budget is a consideration and input from anyone who's gone through something similar is appreciated more than anything. (I'm tired and sore and scared)
Response by poster: Okay, I'm a 36DD and middle-aged, so not entirely comfortable going without a bra, although I've been doing so more frequently and to hell with those who might notice or care. I do feel more physically comfortable with some support, though.
posted by alltomorrowsparties at 3:42 PM on August 5, 2020
posted by alltomorrowsparties at 3:42 PM on August 5, 2020
So these are going to run a little large (but then again maybe that's perfect) in the band, but some of Torrid's bralettes are very soft-band with a decent amount of catch (if not exactly support) thanks to the racerback, and I share my love of them with someone who's an F so they are extremely forgiving in capacity. Particularly the longish-line type like this one and this.
It occurs to me looking through the list that you might shop around for babydoll nighties/slips/chemises (like this one) that are closer to a high empire waist than an actual grippy band.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:56 PM on August 5, 2020
It occurs to me looking through the list that you might shop around for babydoll nighties/slips/chemises (like this one) that are closer to a high empire waist than an actual grippy band.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:56 PM on August 5, 2020
You might want to look at nursing sleep bras - a lot of them are pull-down style (so no clips), and designed to be as comfortable as possible. I have this Auden one from Target and I think it would be likely to work for you - it’s very soft and smooth and not binding at all. It’s definitely low support - but it’s enough that it doesn’t feel like walking around braless. I’d size up to a XL so it’s even less constricting. Also available in plus sizes. $20 for a two pack.
This Hanes Cozy Bra might also be a good option for you (I linked to Target but it’s on Amazon and everywhere else). It has slightly more support than the Auden one, but does have a slightly firmer band. I have it in grey and black and the grey is a little stretchier and softer. I’d size up to XL here too. $10 for one.
posted by insectosaurus at 5:34 PM on August 5, 2020 [3 favorites]
This Hanes Cozy Bra might also be a good option for you (I linked to Target but it’s on Amazon and everywhere else). It has slightly more support than the Auden one, but does have a slightly firmer band. I have it in grey and black and the grey is a little stretchier and softer. I’d size up to XL here too. $10 for one.
posted by insectosaurus at 5:34 PM on August 5, 2020 [3 favorites]
Not sure what your budget is, the first two are around $40 but have held up with almost daily wear and frequent washing for me:
This Wacoal Sports bra is the most comfortable bra I (36E) own; it's a bit of a wider band than most of my bras so I'm not sure if it's wide enough for your needs.
I also have this Girlfriend Collective longline Paloma bra that is super comfortable around the torso; I don't usually do very well with racerback styles b/c of neck tension but this one isn't painful for me, YMMV.
There's also this Breast Nest, which I don't have, but which was highly recommended by Samantha Irby (second paragraph). Not at all budget-conscious ($70) but her description makes it sound worth every penny.
posted by stellaluna at 5:54 PM on August 5, 2020 [2 favorites]
This Wacoal Sports bra is the most comfortable bra I (36E) own; it's a bit of a wider band than most of my bras so I'm not sure if it's wide enough for your needs.
I also have this Girlfriend Collective longline Paloma bra that is super comfortable around the torso; I don't usually do very well with racerback styles b/c of neck tension but this one isn't painful for me, YMMV.
There's also this Breast Nest, which I don't have, but which was highly recommended by Samantha Irby (second paragraph). Not at all budget-conscious ($70) but her description makes it sound worth every penny.
posted by stellaluna at 5:54 PM on August 5, 2020 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I'm sorry you're in pain. Genie bras have wide back bands. True bras and bralettes, including long-line, and supportive tanks. Maidenform cami with foam cups. Wrap-style nursing bras. insectosaurus's Hanes Cozy Bra Target link is buy one, get second 50% off; other bras are eligible, see details. Wild cards: soft bikini tops with adjustable ties; keep pressure off your spleen, with trade-offs -- adhesive bra roundup, Superlite Adhesive Strapless Backless Bra also at Target.
posted by Iris Gambol at 6:47 PM on August 5, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Iris Gambol at 6:47 PM on August 5, 2020 [1 favorite]
When I have reflux I can't tolerate tight bra bands at all, so I sympathize. Maybe something like this: Hanes ComfortFlex Fit Wirefree Bra? You might want to go up a size or two though to prioritize comfort over support.
(I haven't tried it myself, but I wear something that looks similar and is also from Hanes, but it's not in your size: Pure Comfort Seamless Wirefree Bra.)
posted by loop at 7:58 PM on August 5, 2020
(I haven't tried it myself, but I wear something that looks similar and is also from Hanes, but it's not in your size: Pure Comfort Seamless Wirefree Bra.)
posted by loop at 7:58 PM on August 5, 2020
Bra back extenders hook right on to a normal bra that hooks in the back. Easy and cheap.
posted by serena15221 at 7:53 PM on August 8, 2020
posted by serena15221 at 7:53 PM on August 8, 2020
I'm sorry to hear about your pain — my fibromyalgia makes it painful to wear bras, too, and it's such a hassle to deal with stuff like bras on top of all the pain you're already in. I hope you can find something comfortable!
Maybe avoid sports bras altogether? I find that because they're made to "support" while you're exercising, they're more restrictive and tight than you would expect, even though they look comfortable.
I would try a pullover-style bra made completely out of stretchy material. I avoid the types of bras that have a tighter band of fabric around the bottom, since that puts more weight and tension on a small strip of skin. These bras don't have that tight bottom band and distribute the weight more evenly: Maidenform Modern Comfort Pullover Bra, Uniqlo Relax Wireless Bra.
Another trick I use is taking a bra that unhooks, unhooking it, and sewing a strip of stretchy fabric to both unhooked sides to join it together again. It works better than a bra extender because you can control exactly how much extension you need, and you can make sure it's a soft, stretchy fabric that doesn't hurt you.
posted by fire, water, earth, air at 2:40 AM on August 11, 2020
Maybe avoid sports bras altogether? I find that because they're made to "support" while you're exercising, they're more restrictive and tight than you would expect, even though they look comfortable.
I would try a pullover-style bra made completely out of stretchy material. I avoid the types of bras that have a tighter band of fabric around the bottom, since that puts more weight and tension on a small strip of skin. These bras don't have that tight bottom band and distribute the weight more evenly: Maidenform Modern Comfort Pullover Bra, Uniqlo Relax Wireless Bra.
Another trick I use is taking a bra that unhooks, unhooking it, and sewing a strip of stretchy fabric to both unhooked sides to join it together again. It works better than a bra extender because you can control exactly how much extension you need, and you can make sure it's a soft, stretchy fabric that doesn't hurt you.
posted by fire, water, earth, air at 2:40 AM on August 11, 2020
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This sucks and I'm sorry. I have not been through this, though I have had costochondritis that dictated bras that behaved in a very specific way to get any kind of comfort.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:29 PM on August 5, 2020