How can I trust the signals my body is sending me?
March 30, 2020 9:08 AM Subscribe
I feel like my body tends to give out "phantom symptoms" in response to stress or the power of suggestion. This has always been a problem with me, but in the time of Covid19, is extra distressing.
This is not a "decode my symptoms" question.
I have a history of health anxiety which feels like it's under control at the moment and has been for some time. Right now I am not conscious of it being very bad - but over the last 3 weeks I have had days where I have felt mildly under the weather, enough to make me wonder if I have Covid19, but the rest of the time I have felt absolutely fine. So one week I'll have one day where I feel a bit feverish; the next week I'll have one day where I have a bit of a sore throat; today I feel a little itch at the back of my throat that usually signals a cold coming. I've just decided now, for the sake of public health, to assume I am sick with Covid19 and therefore isolate myself. But I really don't feel very sick. And I am not conscious of feeling stressed out about potentially being sick, although obviously the wider situation is very stressful.
This question isn't really about Covid19 but about learning how to decode my body's signals, to understand when I am actually unwell and when it's just my body deciding to act unwell because it's feeling stressed out.
My body has always found ways to express stress and anxiety through phantom symptoms. Over the last 5 years I've had headaches, chest pains, palpitations, mysterious disgusting rashes, skipped periods, been tested for all sorts of diseases and nothing has ever been found. I even went through a year of thinking my teeth were about to fall out. (They haven't.) When my parent was dying and I was their primary carer I caught colds constantly.
Please note I am absolutely not looking for armchair diagnoses as I have a good relationship with my GP according to whom nothing is seriously wrong with me in terms of chronic illnesses (I obviously haven't gone to be checked out for Covid19 and I won't be). As someone with a history of health anxiety, the worst thing I can do for my mental health is read about various different illnesses that I might or might not have.
I would like to know if anyone else has learned to decode the signals their bodies are sending them, or to trust their bodies better, when those bodies keep sending messages that are difficult to read.
I feel like this is particularly important in the time of Covid19 - it's hard not to be confident that one is not sick and therefore a danger to society, although I'm confident that, in isolating, I am doing the right thing. If I could be sure I were not sick, I could volunteer or help out my elderly neighbours etc.
This is not a "decode my symptoms" question.
I have a history of health anxiety which feels like it's under control at the moment and has been for some time. Right now I am not conscious of it being very bad - but over the last 3 weeks I have had days where I have felt mildly under the weather, enough to make me wonder if I have Covid19, but the rest of the time I have felt absolutely fine. So one week I'll have one day where I feel a bit feverish; the next week I'll have one day where I have a bit of a sore throat; today I feel a little itch at the back of my throat that usually signals a cold coming. I've just decided now, for the sake of public health, to assume I am sick with Covid19 and therefore isolate myself. But I really don't feel very sick. And I am not conscious of feeling stressed out about potentially being sick, although obviously the wider situation is very stressful.
This question isn't really about Covid19 but about learning how to decode my body's signals, to understand when I am actually unwell and when it's just my body deciding to act unwell because it's feeling stressed out.
My body has always found ways to express stress and anxiety through phantom symptoms. Over the last 5 years I've had headaches, chest pains, palpitations, mysterious disgusting rashes, skipped periods, been tested for all sorts of diseases and nothing has ever been found. I even went through a year of thinking my teeth were about to fall out. (They haven't.) When my parent was dying and I was their primary carer I caught colds constantly.
Please note I am absolutely not looking for armchair diagnoses as I have a good relationship with my GP according to whom nothing is seriously wrong with me in terms of chronic illnesses (I obviously haven't gone to be checked out for Covid19 and I won't be). As someone with a history of health anxiety, the worst thing I can do for my mental health is read about various different illnesses that I might or might not have.
I would like to know if anyone else has learned to decode the signals their bodies are sending them, or to trust their bodies better, when those bodies keep sending messages that are difficult to read.
I feel like this is particularly important in the time of Covid19 - it's hard not to be confident that one is not sick and therefore a danger to society, although I'm confident that, in isolating, I am doing the right thing. If I could be sure I were not sick, I could volunteer or help out my elderly neighbours etc.
So I get colds much more frequently than most people, but I also have a couple other issues that cause fatigue and respiratory symptoms.
I can't say I've gotten much better at predicting whether I do or don't have a cold; bodies are weird. However, I do try to approach symptoms from a place of mindfulness and neutral curiosity. When I notice myself feeling rundown, I try not to think, "Oh no, I'm getting sick!" Instead my script is, "Hmm, I'm not feeling well. Could be a cold, but could also be [other issues]. Either way, I'll slow down this week, take care of myself, and see how I feel later."
(Obviously this script has been set aside for the duration of the pandemic... being a lot more cautious at the moment!)
posted by toastedcheese at 9:34 AM on March 30, 2020
I can't say I've gotten much better at predicting whether I do or don't have a cold; bodies are weird. However, I do try to approach symptoms from a place of mindfulness and neutral curiosity. When I notice myself feeling rundown, I try not to think, "Oh no, I'm getting sick!" Instead my script is, "Hmm, I'm not feeling well. Could be a cold, but could also be [other issues]. Either way, I'll slow down this week, take care of myself, and see how I feel later."
(Obviously this script has been set aside for the duration of the pandemic... being a lot more cautious at the moment!)
posted by toastedcheese at 9:34 AM on March 30, 2020
Best answer: I developed lifelong health anxiety at the age of 10 but it wasn’t called that at the time so I got to spend most of my life being called a hypochondriac and being teased. Perhaps eight years ago my psychiatrist put me on a very low dose of a medication that helped a lot but did not get rid of my health anxiety. Before I moved to Sweden I took a workshop on managing anxiety that was pretty helpful.
But that is not an answer to your question, so my apologies. Here’s one answer to your question: I do not trust my body’s signals. Or rather, I have learned not to trust my thoughts about my body’s signals. Because my thoughts are inaccurate. If I start to feel something that I am not used to feeling, my brain wants to give me and frequently does give me bad information. My brain decides that I am about to have a stroke, unless I have heart disease and I’m having a heart attack, unless it’s some kind of cancer.
When I get really afraid, I remind myself that I am healthy. I remind myself that the many times I went to the emergency room for a heart attack, I was not having a heart attack. And then I try to lovingly talk myself down from the scary ledge I find myself on.
Several unhelpful friends, when we have discussed this, have said things like, but what if you did get cancer sometime? My response is that my anxiety is not a reliable guide to my health. I’ve had a digestive problem since August and I don’t worry about it because my brain does not interpret my discomfort as potential cancer or a heart attack or a stroke. I don’t know why, it just doesn’t. (I have seen a doctor, I am getting it taken care of, it’s just not a crisis in my body or in my brain.)
That’s probably partly because I’m on a new medication that is much more effective in managing my health anxiety. Anyway, one of the ways I cope is not just self talk. It’s also by asking people I trust, like my sister who used to be a pharmacy technician, about any symptoms that seem especially scary so she can research them and tell me if I actually need to go to urgent care.
This is a really hard problem, OP. I feel for you. Health anxiety was a nightmare for me until I got it mostly under control. My anxiety was irrational and not helpful. I had really painful endometriosis for most of my adult life but my health anxiety never told me that myridiculous amount of pain was unnatural and required a doctor’s care. After my dad had his first heart attack, two hours after I got the news I was in an ER because of heart palpitations, chest pain, and pain in my arm. All things related, it turned out, to anxiety.
I am very lucky that no medical personnel have ever shamed me for ending up in the ER for any reason and they have always told me I made the right decision because I’m not a doctor and every time it could’ve been a heart attack because heart disease runs in my family. The only point I’m trying to make is that I cannot trust my own body’s signals because my brain is bad at interpreting those signals accurately and helpfully.
I have had to develop the workaround of discussing stuff with friends and family, calling nurse lines, etc. I cannot read the notes that come along with any new medication because then I will be unable to take the medication however much I need it. So I get a buddy to read it for me and to keep it. Then if I start having any kind of reaction that seems scary, I can ask my buddy to check to see if that reaction is normal.
This stuff is hard. Good luck, OP!
posted by Bella Donna at 9:53 AM on March 30, 2020 [6 favorites]
But that is not an answer to your question, so my apologies. Here’s one answer to your question: I do not trust my body’s signals. Or rather, I have learned not to trust my thoughts about my body’s signals. Because my thoughts are inaccurate. If I start to feel something that I am not used to feeling, my brain wants to give me and frequently does give me bad information. My brain decides that I am about to have a stroke, unless I have heart disease and I’m having a heart attack, unless it’s some kind of cancer.
When I get really afraid, I remind myself that I am healthy. I remind myself that the many times I went to the emergency room for a heart attack, I was not having a heart attack. And then I try to lovingly talk myself down from the scary ledge I find myself on.
Several unhelpful friends, when we have discussed this, have said things like, but what if you did get cancer sometime? My response is that my anxiety is not a reliable guide to my health. I’ve had a digestive problem since August and I don’t worry about it because my brain does not interpret my discomfort as potential cancer or a heart attack or a stroke. I don’t know why, it just doesn’t. (I have seen a doctor, I am getting it taken care of, it’s just not a crisis in my body or in my brain.)
That’s probably partly because I’m on a new medication that is much more effective in managing my health anxiety. Anyway, one of the ways I cope is not just self talk. It’s also by asking people I trust, like my sister who used to be a pharmacy technician, about any symptoms that seem especially scary so she can research them and tell me if I actually need to go to urgent care.
This is a really hard problem, OP. I feel for you. Health anxiety was a nightmare for me until I got it mostly under control. My anxiety was irrational and not helpful. I had really painful endometriosis for most of my adult life but my health anxiety never told me that myridiculous amount of pain was unnatural and required a doctor’s care. After my dad had his first heart attack, two hours after I got the news I was in an ER because of heart palpitations, chest pain, and pain in my arm. All things related, it turned out, to anxiety.
I am very lucky that no medical personnel have ever shamed me for ending up in the ER for any reason and they have always told me I made the right decision because I’m not a doctor and every time it could’ve been a heart attack because heart disease runs in my family. The only point I’m trying to make is that I cannot trust my own body’s signals because my brain is bad at interpreting those signals accurately and helpfully.
I have had to develop the workaround of discussing stuff with friends and family, calling nurse lines, etc. I cannot read the notes that come along with any new medication because then I will be unable to take the medication however much I need it. So I get a buddy to read it for me and to keep it. Then if I start having any kind of reaction that seems scary, I can ask my buddy to check to see if that reaction is normal.
This stuff is hard. Good luck, OP!
posted by Bella Donna at 9:53 AM on March 30, 2020 [6 favorites]
I am in prime allergy season, and yeah, I feel the paranoia. Like amro said, you are unlikely to run a psychosomatic fever (though not impossible, I suppose--IANAD). I know I've had a few days of taking my temperature 3 times because a normal reading provides objective evidence that calms me down.
posted by stevis23 at 10:06 AM on March 30, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by stevis23 at 10:06 AM on March 30, 2020 [6 favorites]
Best answer: I have a similar personality type, and here's how I deal with it: in terms of physical health, I only trust "signals" if they're measurable and endure for several days. Since so many things can cause one to feel bad, I don't trust feeling-bad is a guide to physically illnesses, and I don't believe there's a secret method of figuring out which feeling-bad signals are legitimate concerns and which aren't.
So here's what I trust: actual symptoms. Coughing, headaches, pain, etc. And they have to endure for a couple of days, because almost everyone gets the odd headache now and then. "Feeling feverish" is meaningless. Actually taking one's temperature and seeing that it's elevated is meaningful.
In other words, as much as possible, I try to categorize symptoms as subjective and objective, and I only count enduring objective ones. This takes practice. It's a mindset one commits to over time.
All of that is just in regards to physical illness. When it comes to mental health, everything is important. So I'm not suggesting you shrug off "feeling bad." But if it's not something clearly measurable that lasts a while, you might want to think of it as a guide to your emotions rather than "Oh, shit! I'm dying!"
posted by grumblebee at 10:10 AM on March 30, 2020 [10 favorites]
So here's what I trust: actual symptoms. Coughing, headaches, pain, etc. And they have to endure for a couple of days, because almost everyone gets the odd headache now and then. "Feeling feverish" is meaningless. Actually taking one's temperature and seeing that it's elevated is meaningful.
In other words, as much as possible, I try to categorize symptoms as subjective and objective, and I only count enduring objective ones. This takes practice. It's a mindset one commits to over time.
All of that is just in regards to physical illness. When it comes to mental health, everything is important. So I'm not suggesting you shrug off "feeling bad." But if it's not something clearly measurable that lasts a while, you might want to think of it as a guide to your emotions rather than "Oh, shit! I'm dying!"
posted by grumblebee at 10:10 AM on March 30, 2020 [10 favorites]
I'm keeping a log in my journal.
That way, every time I feel "oh I can feel my lungs, they feel weird!" or I cough or have an itchy throat, I can look back and see that oh, I've had those episodes almost every damn time I sat down to journal. They haven't developed into anything so it's most likely fine this time too.
[NB this record keeping is important for other symptoms as well. The other day I was freaking out about a particular breast pain. It was helpful that I had records of having been mammogrammed recently with exactly the same pain. Still nothing.]
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:19 AM on March 30, 2020 [3 favorites]
That way, every time I feel "oh I can feel my lungs, they feel weird!" or I cough or have an itchy throat, I can look back and see that oh, I've had those episodes almost every damn time I sat down to journal. They haven't developed into anything so it's most likely fine this time too.
[NB this record keeping is important for other symptoms as well. The other day I was freaking out about a particular breast pain. It was helpful that I had records of having been mammogrammed recently with exactly the same pain. Still nothing.]
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:19 AM on March 30, 2020 [3 favorites]
I agree with what everyone is saying about fever. If you go down that route I might encourage you to take body temperature regularly and at the same time throughout the day, not only when you might feel feverish, to have a base point.
(If you are a Fahrenheit user) it is drilled into us that 98.6F is your body's temperature, but body temperature varies within a small range from person to person and from hour to hour. So it's good to know what your "normal" baseline temperature is.
posted by andrewesque at 10:36 AM on March 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
(If you are a Fahrenheit user) it is drilled into us that 98.6F is your body's temperature, but body temperature varies within a small range from person to person and from hour to hour. So it's good to know what your "normal" baseline temperature is.
posted by andrewesque at 10:36 AM on March 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
I've gotten better at this over the years by focusing on the symptom at hand, treating it kindly and seriously, but in isolation. I don't let myself try to think about what it might mean, I don't diagnose or think about any other symptoms I might have (and will acquire as soon as I 'check' for them). Instead, I try to think 'Sore throat? I'll have a little tea and talk a little less today. That is all you need to do for a sore throat.' That is easier said than done sometimes for sure, but it gets easier.
posted by Garm at 10:38 AM on March 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Garm at 10:38 AM on March 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
Because I have allergies that manifest themselves in a dry cough and because even a puff of air below 75 degrees gives me chills and also because I'm of an age where I'm beginning hot flashes, I've been taking my temperature twice a day, just to feel better.
posted by kimberussell at 10:41 AM on March 30, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by kimberussell at 10:41 AM on March 30, 2020 [3 favorites]
Oh hi, from a fellow "has trouble decoding body signals" person. I think right now the fact that it is definitely allergy season is probably throwing a lot of confusion into the mix. But as others have noted, if you don't have a fever, the likelihood of anything you feel being a virus (rather than allergies) is pretty low. This is doubly true if you're also self-isolating properly (working from home if you can, keeping grocery trips to a minimum, etc.).
For me, what's helping is doing a mental self-inventory. E.g., rather than panicking if my nose starts to run, I ask myself, okay, are my eyes also itchy? Itchy eyes are 100% an allergy symptom and not a corona symptom, so if I have a runny nose AND itchy eyes and no fever, objectively speaking, worrying about being infected is not a good use of my energy.
posted by aecorwin at 10:44 AM on March 30, 2020
For me, what's helping is doing a mental self-inventory. E.g., rather than panicking if my nose starts to run, I ask myself, okay, are my eyes also itchy? Itchy eyes are 100% an allergy symptom and not a corona symptom, so if I have a runny nose AND itchy eyes and no fever, objectively speaking, worrying about being infected is not a good use of my energy.
posted by aecorwin at 10:44 AM on March 30, 2020
I've been working through this for the last year or 2, as I transitioned from someone who didn't pay attention to my body at all and would ignore health problems to someone who paid too much attention, I constantly felt like various parts of my body were falling apart. Two things that helped:
I've been working on mindfulness meditation and that has helped give me context, because as I got further into that I became aware of more and more sensations, and that gave me a better sense that no, my teeth aren't going to fall out, that's just what my teeth feel like sometime. In the beginning this was tricky because I was overreacting to the new information, but now it gives me reassurance to know that my body just feels randomly bad sometimes for no reason, and I can now tell the difference between that and legitimate pain.
My body seems to be pretty cyclical about when it overreacts to things, and I use concentrated oral CBD oil to deal with the times when it's in overdrive. This doesn't make me numb, but it allows me to ignore sensations that I consciously decide to ignore. It helps me a lot when those sensations keep from going to sleep.
posted by JZig at 10:49 AM on March 30, 2020
I've been working on mindfulness meditation and that has helped give me context, because as I got further into that I became aware of more and more sensations, and that gave me a better sense that no, my teeth aren't going to fall out, that's just what my teeth feel like sometime. In the beginning this was tricky because I was overreacting to the new information, but now it gives me reassurance to know that my body just feels randomly bad sometimes for no reason, and I can now tell the difference between that and legitimate pain.
My body seems to be pretty cyclical about when it overreacts to things, and I use concentrated oral CBD oil to deal with the times when it's in overdrive. This doesn't make me numb, but it allows me to ignore sensations that I consciously decide to ignore. It helps me a lot when those sensations keep from going to sleep.
posted by JZig at 10:49 AM on March 30, 2020
It sounds like anxiety isn't bothering you right now, just the question of whether that tickle is a sore throat or not, etc. Honestly, I think you're well within the range of normal here. I know people who can read their body's signals like clockwork; someone who can from one sneeze tell you that she's going to be sick with a cold the day after tomorrow that will last about two days, and will be right every time.
But that's rare. Most people are like you and me, where a tickle at the back of the throat could be a sore throat or allergy season or I forgot to run the humidifier last night, I will not know which one until a couple of days from now when it either goes away (humidifier), stays the same (allergies), or gets worse and adds more symptoms (cold).
Now, there are probably ways to get in tune with your body's signals, but to be honest, I suspect that depends in part on how wide a range of normal your body has. (Which means maybe I'm not answering your question; sorry). But I do think that "huh, am I tired because I'm coming down with something or because I've been sitting on the couch vegetating for three days?" is a very normal thing that happens to most people.
posted by gideonfrog at 11:16 AM on March 30, 2020
But that's rare. Most people are like you and me, where a tickle at the back of the throat could be a sore throat or allergy season or I forgot to run the humidifier last night, I will not know which one until a couple of days from now when it either goes away (humidifier), stays the same (allergies), or gets worse and adds more symptoms (cold).
Now, there are probably ways to get in tune with your body's signals, but to be honest, I suspect that depends in part on how wide a range of normal your body has. (Which means maybe I'm not answering your question; sorry). But I do think that "huh, am I tired because I'm coming down with something or because I've been sitting on the couch vegetating for three days?" is a very normal thing that happens to most people.
posted by gideonfrog at 11:16 AM on March 30, 2020
i still get nervous at every damn thing, but now i tell myself i am going to worry about it on X day or in X hours if it hasn't resolved. that gives my brain permission to not focus/obsess about it, because in 2 hours or 1 day or whatever, i will focus on it and take action. that might be calling the doctor, realizing it's not a problem anymore, or deferring decision making for another X time period. it helps except when i am crazy amped up anxious for some other reason.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 1:33 PM on March 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by misanthropicsarah at 1:33 PM on March 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
So, me too. I have pretty rampant health anxiety - or, well, I believe at base it's a fear of dying, but for me it manifests most frequently as health anxiety. It started when I got an unexpected diagnosis (autoimmune condition) around 10 years ago, and has increasingly gotten worse. I've had some pretty terrible episodes over the years, mostly related to worry that I have cancer. And now COVID-19, though I'm not quite as panicked about that as I would have expected to be, honestly. Who knew?
I don't know if there's any way to differentiate a fear-generated symptom from a disease-generated symptom; a scratchy throat is a scratchy throat, no matter where it comes from. But I have learned over time that for me, there are extra symptoms that go along with fear-generated ones:
1) hyperfocus on my body
2) elevated heart rate
3) faster breathing
When I notice those symptoms in combination with symptoms of you know, occult cancer, deadly diseases, what-have-you, I reach for my lorazepam. Then a few hours later, I reassess. Are the physical symptoms still there? What do I think they mean, now that my central nervous system isn't spazzing out so spectacularly?
Other than that, I can sometimes gauge by persistence-without-intensification. For instance: I've been able to "feel" my lungs for about a month now. It's a sensation like I've inhaled too much smoke from a fire. But it's been at about the same level every day for a month, and at the same time I've had incredibly itchy eyes and a constantly runny nose. None of these things are getting any worse, and some days, they're all a lot better. It's been long enough now that I can connect it firmly to allergy season and disconnect it firmly from COVID.
I hope that helps - or at least, that it helps to know you're not alone!
posted by invincible summer at 2:54 PM on March 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
I don't know if there's any way to differentiate a fear-generated symptom from a disease-generated symptom; a scratchy throat is a scratchy throat, no matter where it comes from. But I have learned over time that for me, there are extra symptoms that go along with fear-generated ones:
1) hyperfocus on my body
2) elevated heart rate
3) faster breathing
When I notice those symptoms in combination with symptoms of you know, occult cancer, deadly diseases, what-have-you, I reach for my lorazepam. Then a few hours later, I reassess. Are the physical symptoms still there? What do I think they mean, now that my central nervous system isn't spazzing out so spectacularly?
Other than that, I can sometimes gauge by persistence-without-intensification. For instance: I've been able to "feel" my lungs for about a month now. It's a sensation like I've inhaled too much smoke from a fire. But it's been at about the same level every day for a month, and at the same time I've had incredibly itchy eyes and a constantly runny nose. None of these things are getting any worse, and some days, they're all a lot better. It's been long enough now that I can connect it firmly to allergy season and disconnect it firmly from COVID.
I hope that helps - or at least, that it helps to know you're not alone!
posted by invincible summer at 2:54 PM on March 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I do tracking over time which helps. Like, I have a tickle in my throat which could be the beginning of a cough! I have had the same level of tickle every two or three days for the last three weeks and it can also be caused by low humidity, acid reflux, or allergic post-nasal drip (all three things I know happen sometimes with me). It helps me be able to say "I know what this feeling is". Could I still be infected and not showing symptoms? Sure, but that was true even without the throat tickle! The throat tickle gives me zero information, because it's a normal thing for me.
posted by Lady Li at 10:59 PM on March 30, 2020
posted by Lady Li at 10:59 PM on March 30, 2020
Response by poster: Thanks for the answers, all; it does help to know I'm not the only one whose body often seems to feel kind of under the weather without the feeling intensifying into actual sickness. I found the ideas of - not assuming I can trust my symptoms; tracking actual measurables rather than "feeling a bit crap"; and in the case of Covid19, the idea that I could be infected and not showing symptoms and therefore the mild symptom in itself actually offering zero information - to be really useful.
posted by unicorn chaser at 1:26 AM on March 31, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by unicorn chaser at 1:26 AM on March 31, 2020 [1 favorite]
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posted by amro at 9:23 AM on March 30, 2020 [26 favorites]