Managing anxiety about going back into the office
March 18, 2020 5:32 PM
After a panic attack on Monday, I've been taking sick leave from work. Unless LA shuts down in the next couple days, I'll have to go back next week. Help me make peace with it or come up with another plan.
I work in LA, and I have a housemate who works in healthcare with a vulnerable population. (That second fact is why I have been self-isolating strictly in my room at home and basically treating myself as infected with cleaning up after myself in common areas)
My job is entertainment-adjacent, so there are security/bandwidth concerns, but the vast majority of my work are gSuite and web portal based. My manager agrees that my job can be done remotely (except for the one day I'm needed for on-site coverage when the office is otherwise almost empty), but can't get authorization for me to do it from home. A part that really stings is that our client closed their LA office over a week ago, so my co-workers that work as on-site implants have been WFH since the 9th. Of course, those implants already had work laptops.
I've been stressed about this (especially after a positive test was reported in connection with our 30 story building), but as my no-questions-asked sick leave is running out, my anger is rising to match my stress levels.
I'm furious at the city for not issuing a lock down. I'm furious at my employer for not acting more quickly to get more people out of the office or staggering shifts to limit density (like they did in our India office!). I'm furious at the system in general that makes it impossible to get tested in LA county right now (maybe I have mild symptoms, maybe it's psychosomatic/anxiety!).
I'm also furious that taking a stand has probably shot me in the foot politically at my job, which I really liked and was thriving at until 5 days ago.
None of us know the future, and we're all doing our best(?), but what advice do you have for facing my stress and anger, and my employer?
I work in LA, and I have a housemate who works in healthcare with a vulnerable population. (That second fact is why I have been self-isolating strictly in my room at home and basically treating myself as infected with cleaning up after myself in common areas)
My job is entertainment-adjacent, so there are security/bandwidth concerns, but the vast majority of my work are gSuite and web portal based. My manager agrees that my job can be done remotely (except for the one day I'm needed for on-site coverage when the office is otherwise almost empty), but can't get authorization for me to do it from home. A part that really stings is that our client closed their LA office over a week ago, so my co-workers that work as on-site implants have been WFH since the 9th. Of course, those implants already had work laptops.
I've been stressed about this (especially after a positive test was reported in connection with our 30 story building), but as my no-questions-asked sick leave is running out, my anger is rising to match my stress levels.
I'm furious at the city for not issuing a lock down. I'm furious at my employer for not acting more quickly to get more people out of the office or staggering shifts to limit density (like they did in our India office!). I'm furious at the system in general that makes it impossible to get tested in LA county right now (maybe I have mild symptoms, maybe it's psychosomatic/anxiety!).
I'm also furious that taking a stand has probably shot me in the foot politically at my job, which I really liked and was thriving at until 5 days ago.
None of us know the future, and we're all doing our best(?), but what advice do you have for facing my stress and anger, and my employer?
I don't have specific advice, but here are some thoughts:
There's actually a really good chance that LA does announce more firm restrictions before the end of the weekend. Even if they don't there's a good chance that your company will change it's policies. Things are changing very rapidly right now. So, there's like a 50% chance that this will just resolve itself without you doing anything
I doubt you've actually shot yourself in the foot, because again things are crazy. I can't promise this will be true but generally people are very forgiving of smaller political/personal conflicts that happen during a crisis, because looking back their minor irritation will be overwhelmed by their memory of all the worse things going wrong. And, if you're like me when you're anxious you probably overestimate other people's negative reactions anyway. My guess is that almost anything you do will be completely forgiven later.
Of course, neither of those facts solve the possible problem of what you should do when it's time to go back and policies haven't changed. Right now, literally everything we do exposes us to significant risk, so it's about mitigating that risk and deciding if the reward is worth it. That's a very hard decision to make, but you are the one who gets to make it. You can decide to go in to work while attempting to keep social distance and be diligent about cleaning. Or, you can decide to stay home on the days where you feel you can work from home, and dare your boss to do something about it. They almost certainly won't do anything other than complain and threaten because no sane company would discipline someone right now for refusing to come in, especially in California where the employment laws are heavily in favor of the employee.
Any company that decides to discipline or fire you for not coming in, despite the significant chance of a lawsuit and very bad PR, is not a company you want to work for. So, you are totally in control of your decisions here, and whatever you decide to do it will probably work out just fine for your employment.
posted by JZig at 6:23 PM on March 18, 2020
There's actually a really good chance that LA does announce more firm restrictions before the end of the weekend. Even if they don't there's a good chance that your company will change it's policies. Things are changing very rapidly right now. So, there's like a 50% chance that this will just resolve itself without you doing anything
I doubt you've actually shot yourself in the foot, because again things are crazy. I can't promise this will be true but generally people are very forgiving of smaller political/personal conflicts that happen during a crisis, because looking back their minor irritation will be overwhelmed by their memory of all the worse things going wrong. And, if you're like me when you're anxious you probably overestimate other people's negative reactions anyway. My guess is that almost anything you do will be completely forgiven later.
Of course, neither of those facts solve the possible problem of what you should do when it's time to go back and policies haven't changed. Right now, literally everything we do exposes us to significant risk, so it's about mitigating that risk and deciding if the reward is worth it. That's a very hard decision to make, but you are the one who gets to make it. You can decide to go in to work while attempting to keep social distance and be diligent about cleaning. Or, you can decide to stay home on the days where you feel you can work from home, and dare your boss to do something about it. They almost certainly won't do anything other than complain and threaten because no sane company would discipline someone right now for refusing to come in, especially in California where the employment laws are heavily in favor of the employee.
Any company that decides to discipline or fire you for not coming in, despite the significant chance of a lawsuit and very bad PR, is not a company you want to work for. So, you are totally in control of your decisions here, and whatever you decide to do it will probably work out just fine for your employment.
posted by JZig at 6:23 PM on March 18, 2020
My job didn't want to let me work from home either, but once "shelter in place" happened, they absolutely had to let us, no choice about it. So given how things are going, I would guess that within a few days, your county will have to live under that and that may force them to.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:25 PM on March 18, 2020
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:25 PM on March 18, 2020
Or, you can decide to stay home on the days where you feel you can work from home, and dare your boss to do something about it. They almost certainly won't do anything other than complain and threaten because no sane company would discipline someone right now for refusing to come in, especially in California where the employment laws are heavily in favor of the employee.
I would do this. My office didn't close until someone was being tested (we later found out they were positive, and now other people are sick). It was foolish, and the type of thing that is 100% worth protesting.
posted by pinochiette at 6:31 PM on March 18, 2020
I would do this. My office didn't close until someone was being tested (we later found out they were positive, and now other people are sick). It was foolish, and the type of thing that is 100% worth protesting.
posted by pinochiette at 6:31 PM on March 18, 2020
Not in a union.
We're already in semi-staggered shifts. I normally work 6a-3p, another shift works 3p-12a, but maybe half of the team works 9-6.
It might have been stupid, but I already tried to stand up for myself about not being in the office when it was full. I told HR and my manager I couldn't be in the office past 10am. On Monday I left at 10, but got push back from HR about it. (I'm lucky that my manager understands and respects my choices so far, but I don't think he'd stick his neck out to save my job. We're both pretty new.)
This wouldn't be half as bad if my department had a full work load, but we're only getting enough work to stay busy half the time, maybe less. Which means sitting in the office, doing little. Perfect for ruminating (or reading the news)
Thank you for the input. It's helping me calm down and giving me strength to keep following my moral compass.
posted by itesser at 6:34 PM on March 18, 2020
We're already in semi-staggered shifts. I normally work 6a-3p, another shift works 3p-12a, but maybe half of the team works 9-6.
It might have been stupid, but I already tried to stand up for myself about not being in the office when it was full. I told HR and my manager I couldn't be in the office past 10am. On Monday I left at 10, but got push back from HR about it. (I'm lucky that my manager understands and respects my choices so far, but I don't think he'd stick his neck out to save my job. We're both pretty new.)
This wouldn't be half as bad if my department had a full work load, but we're only getting enough work to stay busy half the time, maybe less. Which means sitting in the office, doing little. Perfect for ruminating (or reading the news)
Thank you for the input. It's helping me calm down and giving me strength to keep following my moral compass.
posted by itesser at 6:34 PM on March 18, 2020
If I were you, I might say that I've potentially been exposed through my roommate and my building, and I don't want to be the person that gets others in the workplace sick. I'd reiterate how much I love the work and want to stay connected to the office. But I'd probably wait till Monday to do that.
posted by beyond_pink at 9:38 PM on March 18, 2020
posted by beyond_pink at 9:38 PM on March 18, 2020
I wouldn't wait. I'd tell them now: You're not feeling well, there's been confirmed exposure, and you know that your company will not ask you to knowingly put your coworkers at risk.
posted by trig at 10:44 PM on March 18, 2020
posted by trig at 10:44 PM on March 18, 2020
(If nothing else they sound like a large enough company that mention of known risk to employees might trigger an awareness of legal implications.)
posted by trig at 10:46 PM on March 18, 2020
posted by trig at 10:46 PM on March 18, 2020
The city is shut down! They're rolling out company-wide WFH. Yay!
posted by itesser at 2:59 PM on March 20, 2020
posted by itesser at 2:59 PM on March 20, 2020
CALLED IT!
Never argue with my impending sense of doom, y'all!
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:03 PM on March 20, 2020
Never argue with my impending sense of doom, y'all!
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:03 PM on March 20, 2020
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by pinochiette at 5:37 PM on March 18, 2020