Pin down slippery eel at work

March 9, 2006 8:03 PM

MiddleManagementFilter: Boss says give task X of my project to "Robin". I try. Instead of doing task X, Robin sets up a meeting between me, her, and whoever she wants to pass me off to. She steps out, I end up doing it. How do I get her to do the damned task?

I have a crazy huge project in our department. It's far larger than one person can do. It spans many disciplines, requires many people. I manage the main project.

Our department has a person whose job it is to handle X discipline. Boss says to give task X to "Robin". I go to Robin and say, Bossman would like for you to handle X. Robin doesn't want to do it. Robin is resentful because her plate is full too and she doesn't want to do any more. Robin is female, I'm male.

She doesnt just say no, because she can't. But instead of doing it, figuring it out, managing it over time, making it happen, she invites someone else to our initial meeting about it (substitute: cc's someone else on initial email) who is the person she'd consult first if she were doing it. If the meeting is in her office, she does email while I and so-and-so talk. She chimes in now and then. So-and-so asks, "who should I get back with on this". I say Robin. Robin says, "well sort of both of us to start with". Robin makes sure to cc me on any contact she has with So-and-so and anyone else. In all of her communications, she directs people to me. She feigns ignorance while trying to appear helpful. She says things like "Dude is trying to figure out..." or "Dude is managing a project which..." or whatever. People start coming to me for whatever needs doing next. I end up doing whatever the freaking task was to start with. She steps out of the loop. Project stalls. I either look incompetent or work the freaking 14 hour days.

I bring it up to boss. Boss wants Robin and me to figure it out between ourselves; doesn't want to get involved. You've seen how that works. If I really push it, and say what's happening, he caves on her side, because she's busy too, and because he's meek, male, and very nonconfrontational. She points out what very attentive steps she's taken, points out why she doesn't know enough about the project to do it herself, and wham. I'm this elastic guy who can absorb anything, apparently, and I'm stuck with it. Happens every time.

I want her to do the damned task. I need to not have to worry about it. I have too much other stuff. It's her job. What technique, what psychological trick, pressure, strategy, can I use to thwart her thwarting? When she starts to slip sideways, how can I pin her down and respond to her passive agression with either more of the same but more effective, or something positive, or something tricky, or something clever, or whatever it would take to put the task solidly in her court and get her to do it? She's not a bad person, but I've had enough.

Not looking for perspective or you-office-types-are-pathetic scorn. Just practical advice from other office politicians.

posted by kookoobirdz to work & money (20 comments total)

Man, you are wimping out completely here. Your boss is right: it's between you and her. You have to tell her that she's doing it, not you, and that you expect it to be done by such-and-such a time. You make it clear that if she fails there will be consequences. You put something in writing.

Why are you letting this extra person come to the first meeting? Why are you letting her withdraw from the meeting?

You are getting stuck with this task because you are allowing yourself to get stuck with it. You cannot complain because she has found an effective way of getting the job done, which is to let you do it.

I am guessing that you are afraid of confrontations or something but that is part of the job, I'm afraid. You don't need to use tricks or strategy, you just need to make clear what needs to be done, that it is her job, that you won't be doing it, and that if she doesn't there'll be trouble.
posted by unSane at 8:19 PM on March 9, 2006

This is a job for Broken Record Man.

Make clear to her it is her job, turn away all requests from other people about the project by referring them to her. Do not get a smidgeon involved in doing the project.

If she's doing email while in a meeting with you, tell her to stop, or end the meeting immediately and reschedule it.

You need to stop the behavior as early in the cycle as possible, and you need to be a dick about it if necessary. Her complaining to your boss about your behavior would be a good sign. He's a wimp anyways, so don't worry about it too much.

But the most important thing is consistency. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Bore yourself silly repeating yourself.
posted by tkolar at 8:29 PM on March 9, 2006

Find the person who is the most hungry for Robin's job, and get them to do it. Make it clear that if they do a good job, you will make something happen for them. When they turn in the assignment, make a big deal about how they really came through for the team, while also making her look bad for not following through on the task. It's evil. but I've seen it work...
posted by lilboo at 8:35 PM on March 9, 2006

Well I should clarify that she and I are peers. I'm not her boss. I can't make her do anything. It's just that she handles tasks of X nature for the department. My project is not in her usual scope, despite having elements of X. I depend on the fact that the boss says she should do the X parts. When I push it, she gets out of it and I want to punch the both of them. But I like the advice so far. I hate it but I just have to start getting ugly, or at least forceful. I had hoped to maintain cordial relations. I can't stand extended office drama. But I'm just out of bandwitdth.
posted by kookoobirdz at 8:44 PM on March 9, 2006

You don't have to get ugly, you don't have to get forceful, you don't have to get involved in the drama.

If task X is assigned to Robin, don't do task X yourself. It's that simple. If that means task X doesn't get completed, that's Robin's problem, not yours. If people start coming to you with questions about task X, tell them they need to talk to Robin.

I can't say I think much of your boss's management style, assigning tasks by proxy through you, but you can't change that. You can stop being a pushover, though.
posted by ook at 8:52 PM on March 9, 2006

Oh yeah, public humiliation.

Since you are the project manager, you are free to publish a weekly report to all of the people involved with the project, laying out exactly who is responsible for what, and if that section is on schedule or not.

Do so, and don't be afraid to make use of capital letters or red text for the parts that are running behind. Of course, always make it a point that the *section* is oh, let's see... "At Risk" is a good one ... and never point fingers at the individuals. In fact, a line like "As always, please be prepared to assist with the 'at risk' sections if required" would be handy.

The other benefit of this is that when people come to you asking about that particular section, you can pick a copy of the email up off of your desk, point at the relevant section and say "Hmm.... this looks like something Robin should be handling."
posted by tkolar at 8:59 PM on March 9, 2006

Start cc'ing both your and her boss on everything.

Also, what everyone else said re:standing up to her. Make sure you send her an email (remember that cc- here's where it comes in handy) saying task X needs to be done by date Y.

It is now no longer your responsibility to do X. Trust me, this works.
posted by mkultra at 8:59 PM on March 9, 2006

I hate to say this, but in my opinion there's really only a few options here, and I don't believe that much of people's advice here will really work.

1) Your boss is unwilling to play his role of being a boss and managing you both. You will probably be unhappy in this job until you have a new boss, or you have your boss's job.

2) If you are an amazing social wizard, you can pull off getting "Robin" to do her work using the advice above. Most (and by most I mean 99.5% of) people cannot. The end result will just be more tension with "Robin", and resentment from "Robin". The resentment is of course wholly unwarranted, you just want "Robin" to do her damn job, but these people are a part of corporate society everywhere, and they thrive on their ability to push their work off on others.

3) I personally feel that your best option is the scariest one. Document the fact that you've assigned a project to "Robin" per your boss's orders, and then when she fails to do it and you end up having to -- here's the scary part -- DO NOT DO IT. Here's the problem:

Your boss thinks everything is fine, because he/she is a crappy boss, and sees nothing but results. He/she has no people management skills at all, and cares only about whether or not the project gets done. Until a project actually fails - everything is hunky dory to your boss. You must let something FAIL, and have it clearly laid out that Robin was responsible for that piece that failed.

This is not "evil" or "sneaky". This is completely fair and valid. It's how work is supposed to work! When someone fails to complete a task, they need to be called out on it and punished for it. You're not allowing that to happen, because you're picking up Robin's work.


I think that rather than "getting nasty" with Robin, or even just being persistent, you need to simply let something of Robin's fail instead of picking it up yourself, and you need to be sure to thoroughly document how tasks were delegated, etc (for example - put together a nice GANTT chart of the project with a list of who's responsible for each task, your boss will be impressed).
posted by twiggy at 8:59 PM on March 9, 2006

Does Robin report to the same boss as you? If so, your boss needs to be talking to her directly, not through you. If she tries to pass work off to you, deflect her to your boss immediately. Include him in any responses, and say "Please let Bossman know if you need any help completing this task," or "Bossman, can you answer Robin's question about task X?" Or just include him in the CC line of emails; this is often enough to convince people to do their jobs.

If she reports to a different manager, then both she and you are being put in an uncomfortable situation: You for the reasons you gave; and Robin because she has her own boss giving her assignments who doesn't necessarily want her prioritizing work from some other manager. Your boss should really be asking Robin's manager (not you) to assign work to Robin. But if your boss won't do it, then you should: Include Robin's manager in any communication. Tell her manager that your boss needs task X from Robin's team, and get the manager to commit to the work.

Basically, your manager(s) should not be requiring you to manage their other employees. Get the bosses to do the bossing. If they won't, then they're doing a poor job of management, and you should complain to them or higher up the command chain if you can.
posted by mbrubeck at 9:03 PM on March 9, 2006

Well I should clarify that she and I are peers. I'm not her boss. I can't make her do anything.

Neither can your boss, apparently.

You can definitely help yourself here by telling your boss that things will go much smoother if he will come with you and directly assign the project to her.

If he's reluctant, suggest the following exchange to him: "Hi, I need to you to do such and such. Please work out the details with kookoobirdz. Thanks."

I really do feel for you. Being a project leader without management back up truly does suck.
posted by tkolar at 9:05 PM on March 9, 2006

twiggy wrote...
You must let something FAIL, and have it clearly laid out that Robin was responsible for that piece that failed.

I thought about suggesting this, but it appears to me that kookoobirdz name is attached to the overall project. Allowing a section of it to fail may not be a reasonable option for him, even if it would be effective in the long run.

Also, kookoobirdz, some folks (including myself) have suggested different approaches making sure that your boss sees what's happening -- in retrospect I think it's clear that she's got a very good read on your boss's ineffectual nature. If you go for a paper trail, make sure it's visible to her peers, ala the status report thing I mentioned before.
posted by tkolar at 9:17 PM on March 9, 2006

What twiggy said.

This is why managers sit around all day writing memos and emails. Some people have an almost uncanny ability to get out of work, avoid doing work, and deflecting blame when things inevitably go wrong. The only way to deal with such people is to make them accountable by treating them like criminals.

(1) Stop meeting with Robin. Meetings are your enemy. They accomplish absolutely nothing and yet everybody always leaves them with this vague sense that everything's going to be ok. No more meetings. If you want information from Robin or need to tell her something, do so over email. If she wants information from you ask her to send you an email. If you can't avoid the meeting then make sure there's a document or email explaining defining the agenda and the goal of the meeting.

(2) Write a memo indicating (a) why Robin is needed on this project (b) exactly what Robin will do (c) when Robin will need to have this is done. The memo must be exhaustive. Think of it like a legally binding contract. She will try and wiggle out of it in the future so don't give her any wiggle room. You've really got to clearly define the task and give her all the information she needs to do it.

(3) ***Distribute the memo***. Make sure Robin has a copy, of course. Make sure your boss has a copy. Also give a copy to everybody else involved on the project. Put it up on a internal website. There should simply be noquestion about who's responsible for the task and when the task is due. If people come to you with questions or requests, refer them to the memo. Do not help them. Your job begins and ends at the memo. Once the task has been spec'ed and planned then you don't need to worry about it or concern yourself with the details.

At this point, Robin will either do the task or she won't. Hopefully, with her back against the wall, she'll buckle down and get it done. If she doesn't then--here's the kicker--you write another memo. You lay all responsiblity for the failure of the task on her and explain that she knew what she had to do, when it had to be done, and that she just didn't do it. Again, put it in writing and give a copy to your boss and Robin. At this point your boss will be forced to act and Robin will be forced to defend herself. You may end up doing the task anyways but it'll be very clear from now on that you mean business.

You need to get used to putting stuff in writing now. It's a sucky thing, you probably just want to get the damn job done and move on, but that's not how these things work. Good managers are not people who can deliver results they are people who can explain results. Accept this now if you want to continue on the management track.
posted by nixerman at 9:44 PM on March 9, 2006

put together a nice GANTT chart of the project with a list of who's responsible for each task, your boss will be impressed

Except for this part. I'd recommend avoiding all diagrams. GANTT charts and all the various other diagrams generally don't help much at all and, in fact, usually hurt things by giving people a false sense of security. Diagrams too often are missing vital information and they are open to a lot of interpretation. There's a reason why the legal books are full of page after page of just lists and words. When it comes down to explaining things exhaustively nothing beats plain ol' words.
posted by nixerman at 9:51 PM on March 9, 2006

Think of it like a strategy game. She's developed a highly successful sequence of moves for offloading work she doesn't want to do. She's relying on you not having a coherent strategy to fight back with. What you need to do is come up with a counter-move for each of her moves. She invites a third party to your meeting, you uninvite them. She redirects people to you, you redirect them back to her. Draw up a list of moves & counter-moves, then keep it handy & don't be afraid to take the battle to her.
posted by scalefree at 10:12 PM on March 9, 2006

Nixerman has it right on 2). Take a hint from The One Minute Manager. When boss tells you to give Robin task X, write up a list of all things regarding task X. Basically, what you expect task X to accomplish in the project, and how you'd like task X to be completed. Send it to your boss, make sure that's what he wants. Then send it to 'Robin' and cc it to your boss. Basically, you know have written proof 'emails' that your boss has agreed that Robin's job is to complete task X. She has everything she needs to know about task X, and what needs to come from it.

If she wants a meeting, have it in your office. Tell her that you are in charge of this project and you can't afford to spend an hour moving all your notes to her office to discuss. She'll probably bring said advisor in and start the conversation. She'll ask a question that's covered in her task list. Give her a printed copy of the list. Tell her that's what you want, exactly. Tell her you really don't like repeating yourself. Explain the task, without interruptions, and let her know you arn't going to explain it again. Then say the meeting is over as you have important things to do regarding your assigned task.

When she doesn't complete the task as assigned, get with your boss on it. He's actually the one who's supposed to be making these lists, assigning them, and holding them to it. He's basically making you do his work for him. You might call him on this in a nice way. When he asks you to have Robin do X, you might say 'You know, Robin is my peer. I'm not sure if she'd appreciate me giving her this assignment. Is there anyway I can email you what I need from Task X, and you could talk to her or email to her? I realize your busy, but I think she'd be more comfortable, and so would I, if you could discuss this with her.' Hopefully she'll then have to go to her boss regarding Task X, and her boss will then send those emails to you, and you then have a very good reason for CCing her and the boss, especially when it comes to the progress of Task X and the lack thereof.

Another good thing might be to come up with an internal timeline of when you'd like certain parts of Task X completed by, and when it starts lagging, email her and CC the boss as to how that specific part is coming along.

The real key is this: You need to make 'Robin' accountable for the completion of Task X. The only way you can do that is by making a list with her name on it that 'Robin', you, and The Boss all have. That way when something starts lagging, you can have a meeting with your Boss and say what is going slowly, and he pulls out his list and finds that it's 'Robin's' task.

And, if you do have to stay late, let the boss know why. 'Hey, I'm staying late to finish Task X.' Boss: 'Okay. Say, wasn't that part of 'Robin's' Task X?' You: 'It sure was. Seems like she may have dropped the ball. The project needs completed though.'

You could also be evil and schedule a progress meeting with him at the end of the day, say it'll be quick. Discuss the problems with Task X, and when he looks at the clock and it's 15 minutes past going home time, he'll be aggravated, see that 'Robin's' lack of progress with Task X is causing him to stay late.

IANAM - ATM (I am not a Manager - At the Moment) - So take advice with a grain of salt. Definatly read the One Minute Manager if you get a chance, it's short, quick, nice, and you may not be a manager, but your boss sure thinks you are.
posted by Phynix at 11:00 PM on March 9, 2006

OK, your boss is failing, leaving it to you. This is what we call "managing upwards."

You need to leave a trail of cover-yer-arse material in case everything turns to shit. So save your emails and correspondence. If you have conversations, send a followup message that says "To confirm our conversation this morning, I understand that you are too busy to do task x and need to pass it on to person y."

Beyond that, it's hard to say what will push Robin's buttons. I can only tell you what I truly believe, which is that it is absolute bullshit for grown people to scrabble around looking for manipulative techniques. You tell her, directly, that you want her to do X. You explain why. If she refuses, you tell her what the consequences are. And you leave the task undone. If you absolutely must do it yourself, or get someone else to do it, then you tell your boss that Robin refused. But you must put it to her clearly enough that she has no option but to clearly, explicitly refuse. "Robin, are you saying you can't do x?" And thenyou tell your boss that the project is about to fail, because Robin will not do x, but that you are going to rescue it.

This isn't just about being grownup either. Empirically, my observation is that every kick-arse project manager I have ever dealt with nails people to the wall. Robin, I need task x by date y. If you have a problem with that, we try and solve that problem. If you're making shit up, then we escalate. If there is a problem with the person we escalate to, we keep escalating. At some point you hit a person with enough sense and clout to kick the non-cooperative person in the arse. And you get a reputation for being scary and efficient.

Honestly, speaking as a political weasel, the best course is always ferocious honesty. It scares other people and you can never be caught out and best of all you can sleep at night.

When you ask "What technique, what psychological trick, pressure, strategy, can I use to thwart her thwarting?" my advice is: don't thwart her thwarting. If she wants to thwart, then let her hang herself. Be honest, be bold, and make things turn out clear to everyone around you so they understand where the responsibility lies: with her (or maybe your boss).

PS: I don't do this shit any more because I got tired of it, hence I may not be the successful weasel you want as a mentor. On the other hand, people are (or have been) scared of me and what might come out of my mouth because I tell the truth, and that's good enough for me. And I'm a happy person in this respect.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:05 AM on March 10, 2006

Offering this up because certain aspects of "Robin's" behavior sound unfortunately familiar...

You mention that Robin usually handles tasks of X nature for the department but your project is not in her usual scope, despite having elements of X. This is totally conjecture, since I don't know how complicated X is, but is it possible that she doesn't actually know how to handle X as it applies to your project? I've encountered situations where it seems people are stalling or trying to pawn their assigned task off onto me and it's because they don't have a basic understanding of the project or they don't know how to apply their knowledge in this new situation and well, they don't want to admit it or ask for help.

This is now the second thing I think when someone appears to sound resentful. (The first is that the person is just avoiding responsibility, which has been addressed already.) Having someone be fixated on process can also be an indicator. I'll sometimes gently and off-handedly ask very specific questions about the actual task and see if they actually do *get* it or not. Alternatively, ask questions about X in light of the big picture of the project, and see if she gets it. The trick is to not sound accusatory.

If Robin is really clueless and cannot be brought up to speed, then it would be good to know as soon as possible so you can find someone else to handle X. Lend her a hand if she needs one, but for the love of god don't coddle her, and, as everyone's already said, stop doing her work for her.

Nixerman's tip #2 is a great one-- clarifying why Robin is needed and what she is responsible for will help both you and her, and if it turns out Robin is unsuitable, then it'll help you find someone who is. This memo/document should either be part of your project plan, reference parts of your project plan or contain a lot of the exact same language.
posted by Carol O at 5:16 AM on March 10, 2006

I am anything but an office politician, but it sounds like you've got the "responsibility without authority" dilemma. Now, you clearly have an immediate problem with Robin, but from a structural standpoint, it sounds like the deeper problem is with your boss. I'd try to make it clear to the boss "look, either I need to have authority, or you need to take responsibility, because the way things are right now does not work."

Also: You make it sound as if A) Robin is already fully booked, and B) Robin may not be the right person to handle task X (you're a little unclear on that). If either/both are true, then someone with authority needs to rejigger what's on Robin's desk.
posted by adamrice at 7:34 AM on March 10, 2006

I'm not her boss. I can't make her do anything.

Then you've lost already. If you act like her boss, then you are her boss, org charts be damned. Take authority. Take charge. Take any unclaimed power. Take on the role of driving her forward.

The role is yours to claim.
posted by Mo Nickels at 7:41 AM on March 10, 2006

I hope my words sound like a pep talk (as they're intended), and not harsh criticism:

Take a longer view - few people respect a doormat. If you have a desire to get into upper management eventually or even to manage other large projects, how does it look to current management that you end up doing other people's work for them now?

My boss used to hate it when I would pick up all the loose ends on projects I managed. I thought I was doing good work - saving the project at all costs! In reality, he viewed my management skills with suspicion because I spent my time programming instead of managing. And he became hesitant to assign me future projects.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:05 AM on March 10, 2006