How do I choose a scent for myself?

March 8, 2006 4:31 PM

How do I choose a scent/aftershave for myself?

As a 26 year old man, I've never been into 'smellies' before, just wearing anti-perspirant. Having recently split with my long-term girlfriend I've discovered that I'm in a very different world socially, and it's left me feeling a little unsophisticated.

I'm doing the new wardrobe, etc. thing but not having bought this kind of thing before, I'm worried if I just go and buy what smells nice to me it's going to clash with my 'style', or something.

Are there any rules to follow when choosing?

posted by 999 to clothing, beauty, & fashion (38 comments total)

Don't buy anything that's really, really cheap. (Stay far away from Axe and crap like that.) Don't get heavy-handed -- no-one should be able to smell you unless they're quite close to you.

And if you're not comfortable with wearing cologne, just skip it. It's not mandatory. Nice shoes, clothes that fit, being clean and well-groomed, and getting a decent haircut go a long way to make a man look more sophisticated. Aftershave/cologne is highly optional.
posted by desuetude at 4:44 PM on March 8, 2006

I think the effectiveness of cologne changes from girl to girl. I second desuetude's advice about skipping it. I'd rather have a guy smell faintly of deodorant and no cologne, than one that smells like he came from an explosion at the Tommy bottling plant.
posted by nakedsushi at 4:53 PM on March 8, 2006

Just go and buy what smells nice on you. Really. And don't buy something until you've worn it for a day. Most department store counters will have sample sizes that you can take away. Scent can change so much over a few hours depending on your body chemistry.

Having said that, I love light sandalwood smells for men. Masculine and warm and deep. My sweetie uses Bee and Flower Sandalwood soap (available for dirt-cheap at Asian markets everywhere), and there a Sun's Eye oil (Gemscents line) called Tiger Eye that is sandalwood and heliotrope, and don't be scared of the floral, it's quite a nice mix.

Scents with lime in them are also nice for men.
posted by ersatzkat at 4:53 PM on March 8, 2006

Don't force youself to wear it if you don't want to, for a start. Other than that I would say buy something you think smells nice (best to go with a name at first, rather than a random cheaper brand) and work from there. Once you have a couple you will know what you like. Ask your friends what they like, and try it yourself. Find a decent store where you can try out plenty and take advice from the staff there. Listen to any comments on how you smell from friends/relatives/liasons/pets running away.

Some people have a day/evening scent ritual etc, etc - don't get caught up in any crappy mystique - if you don't find one you like then don't wear it. It isn't a must.
posted by fire&wings at 4:54 PM on March 8, 2006

I've recently started learning about fragrance myself and found it an interesting and enjoyable exploration.

I got started by stumbling onto Chandler Burr's 10 Best, which made me want to smell some of the scents he talks about. I then found my way to Basenotes, where I read reviews and also the commmunity boards.

It helps to be able to start somewhere -- with the names of some colognes you've smelled and liked, or some notes you know you tend to prefer (for example, maybe you like wood, spice, and incense scents more than citrus or florals).

Once you have some you know you want to try, you can go to the department store -- but don't try to sniff more than two or three before your nose gets tired. Plus, they often smell really different on you than they do on the little strip of paper. Alternatively, you can order samples from eBay. They generally only cost a few bucks, and you can try them several times before springing for a full bottle.

As far as rules are concerned, the only one I believe in is Don't Wear Too Much. As for the rest -- formal vs. casual, even masculine vs. feminine -- I say let your preference be your guide.
posted by ottereroticist at 4:57 PM on March 8, 2006

crabtree evelyn sandalwood:you will smell good up close. no one else will notice, sandalwood is addictive.
posted by hortense at 4:58 PM on March 8, 2006

Try sample bottles before you buy a big bottle of anything because the scent has to match with your own natural body smell. Don't assume that what works for your friend or what smells good in the bottle will work for you. In the future, if you do decide to start wearing something regularly, remember that you become gradually used to the scent so you tend to put more and more on until you turn into "an explosion at the Tommy bottling plant". If you smoke, same goes but more so because your nose is likely less sensitive than others. Less is nearly always better, I'd think.
posted by MadamM at 4:58 PM on March 8, 2006

I ducked into the local Dillard's, and a nice gay guy there told me Herrera for Men was good. I've never gotten anything but positive reviews. My girlfriend loves it. (I told him I wanted something nice, but not mainstream.)
posted by atchafalaya at 5:02 PM on March 8, 2006

I agree that a scent isn't absolutely necessary -- the smell of soap is the number one thing I think most women like to get a whiff of! But if you're interested it's certainly worth pursuing. To get an idea of the types of scent categories out there, take a look at Sephora's guide -- it may help you narrow down if you think you might be in the market for fresh/clean scents vs. woodsy/oriental scents, for example, and give you some names to try out at a store (you can go to a Sephora, if there's one near you, or just a regular department store).

Definitely don't throw down 50 bucks on something you're not sure of; see if you can get a few samples to take home with you, and then try out for a day.
posted by scody at 5:09 PM on March 8, 2006

Speaking as a woman who likes "smellies", here's my two cents:

1. Get good stuff. Go to a nice department store or (better yet) a perfume shop, and ask for advice. Ask if you can have some samples to try out because various scents can smell quite different on you than they do in the bottle. Try some on; if you like the way it smells after 15 minutes, go for it.

2. Don't marinate in the stuff! Most guys wear WAYYYYYY too much. The only people who should be able to smell it is you and anyone you hug. Put a dab on both sides of your chest where your collar bone meets your shoulder (which is right where the nose of the huggee will be).

Personally, I don't think you can go wrong with either Bay Rum or Tobacco Flower. I think they smell good on every guy.

Also, if you are going to spend good money on a nice cologne, then don't mask it up by using heavily scented shampoo, soaps, or deodorants.
posted by luneray at 5:10 PM on March 8, 2006

Burt's Bees Bay Rum Aftershave and, I presume, other products from that line (soap, etc.) smell grrrreat...

But I agree. Don't go overboard. The best smell smells like it's not trying too hard.
posted by lalalana at 5:13 PM on March 8, 2006

Keep trying different ones until a stranger asks what you are wearing. Believe it or not, using this method I ended up with one that would seem to make you smell like a sweaty guitarist.
posted by sexymofo at 5:15 PM on March 8, 2006

I'm with you, it's tough. Having never been a cologne-wearer it's hard to pick out something that you use and be confident you smell nice (i.e., I like it, but other people do too).

I happened to be wandering around in a Duty Free zone in Heathrow and came upon a Paul Smith shop. I wasn't a cologne-wearer at the time and in a "travelling haze" noticed that they had some free cologne samples and sprayed some on for the hell of it. Flash forward about an hour and I'm in my seat on the plane with a rally attractive gal sitting next to me. "Gee," she says "that's a really nice cologne you're wearing." Boioing, thanks! But I had no idea what it was, only Paul Smith. So next time I was there (a couple days later) I found the one I had used and bought a bottle. Never turned back.

Moral of the story: if you're trying to smell nice to "impress" the opposite sex, you need to solicit the active opinion of the opposite sex. Have a good fashion-conscious or um, attractive-to-you female friend go with you to a big department store and see what she likes. She's only one opinion but a valuable one. And if you can find Paul Smith Extreme -- see what you think!
posted by lazywhinerkid at 5:31 PM on March 8, 2006

Baby powder.
posted by brownpau at 5:33 PM on March 8, 2006

Smell is obviously a sensory thing. The only thing you can do if you want a cologne is to really like it yourself.

Go to any perfume/cologne counter at any department store. Tell the salesperson exactly what you said here. Ask him/her if they have any samples you can try... ask for a mix of subtle to more adventurous scents. Never buy something from anywhere else... not a drugstore, not a place in the mall that only specializes in perfumes/colognes.

(Why? There is a chance they are selling old bottles of cologne discounted because they don't stay the same forever and smelling like a cheap pharmacy cologne is not the impression you want to give.)

In general, there are colognes that go from strong (Polo) to subtle (Eternity?)... for you I'd suggest starting off on subtle. My experience says these tend to be lighter colored and the ones I like are mainly blue (I don't know why, but it's true). My personal suggestion is try out Chrome, which is a subtle clean scent. Calvin Klein has some great colognes out there as well, (try the blue one... or you can ususally buy a sampler of small bottles.)

Officially, the rules go like this.. the lighter scents are for summer, the stronger scents are for winter. This actually never made sense to me, but just putting that out there.

Good luck, and remember, in the end, it's about what *you* like. There's nothing like dressing well for a night out and topping it off with a little something special that makes you stand out.
posted by jerryg99 at 6:13 PM on March 8, 2006

This is a good-smalling thread -
posted by growabrain at 6:38 PM on March 8, 2006

As I understand it, all the serious scent mavens go to Perfumebay for their cologne needs.
posted by sid at 6:39 PM on March 8, 2006

A few points:

First, as has been said, don't do this on the cheap, unless you follow point #2 below. Go for something nice, and as has been said, try to get a sample for the road. It smells different on you than it does in the bottle.

Point #2: Instead of designer cologne, go in the vein lalalana suggests and go for the classic "barber shop" scent (bay rum is the Platonic Ideal of this scent). Some women go positively fucking apeshit over stuff like that. I don't know why -- connection with a "rugged man" ideal, maybe? Anyway, just using a bay rum shaving soap and no cologne has gotten me some attention in relationships past.

Also, try to avoid loud scents or anything trendy. Remember Polo? Yecch. The scent should be clean and crisp, not perfumey.

Finally, application, application, application. Some prefer the spray-delay-walk away method, where you spritz a small cloud into the air and just walk through it. I personally prefer putting just a couple of spritzes on my chest and stomach before I dress. This has two immediate benefits: First, you can't tell I'm wearing cologne unless you're close to me. Second, the scent diffuses into both your clothes and your skin, so when you're on a date that's going extremely well and the other person takes your shirt off, s/he will be greeted with a nice, subtle, warm noseful of welcome. In my dating life, this never failed to curl toes. In fact, my freshman year of college, I would catch girls stealing my dirty shirts so they could wear them and get the smell on them.

Which loops back up to points 1 and 2: Choose Your Scent Carefully.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:38 PM on March 8, 2006

Choose something that you like and won't make you wheeze. Remember that you're the one who's going to be smelling it all day.

Personally I like Gucci Rush, it has a nice sandalwood scent to it.
posted by clevershark at 7:51 PM on March 8, 2006

I was complaining to a friend when both of us were in our early 20s about the cost of real cologne for men. He said to me "Hey, if it helps you get laid one time, it's worth it." As you're on the dating scene, the price of one bottle of cologne, even at an expensive store like Sephora will probably be money well spent. Especially if you don't buy something that smells exactly like what every generic guy's cologne smells like today (they all smell like Eternity for men). Sandalwood / Bay Rum are good (and cheap!) choices.

Also, don't use smelly deoderant (old spice), shampoo, or aftershave. You don't want your scents to fight. Especially at $60 per bottle.
posted by zpousman at 7:55 PM on March 8, 2006

Remember that "catnip to the ladies" post? Being a good-smelling guy is definite catnip on a primal level. I can list every guy I've known who smells that good.

Once I was at a grocery store with a security guard near the exit. He was about sixty, sixty-five; he wasn't particularly fit, but he seemed nice and looked clean. I walked past him on my way out, and holy crap, I had to turn around and go back in so I could walk past him a few more times. If I'd been fifty years older, I would've asked him if he played bridge, all right.

You need to bring a female friend who has a good nose. See what she likes and thinks is "you"; get a sample- or travel-sized bottle of that, and wear it around for a few days to make sure it meshes with your natural scent.

A tip for once you've picked your perfect scent: It does not substitute for hygiene. Nor does it cover for hygiene. No, not even just once, not even when you're really stressed and running late. Once you have the power of Being a Good-Smelling Guy, you must use it for good, not evil.
posted by booksandlibretti at 8:02 PM on March 8, 2006

the scent has to match with your own natural body smell. Don't assume that what works for your friend or what smells good in the bottle will work for you

Quite. There's no telling what works for you without trying it. And it also takes time to warm up and take effect, you can't just spray it on and sniff it right away.

You have two wrists (at least I hope you do). Go to a department store every day and get a sample spray of one cologne on each wrist. After an hour or so, which smells best? To you and to at least one other person. Lather, rinse, repeat -- literally.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 8:41 PM on March 8, 2006

Have a flick through this - it's a Luca Turin's deleted blog which ran from June 05 to Jan 06 compiled into a pdf. Luca Turin is the Emperor of Scent in Chandler Burr's book.

Don't freak out that it's 548 pages long: the font and line spacing are both large, and you don't have to read the whole thing - just drop in on the odd post here and there and you'll soon gain an understanding of what's going on in the world of perfume. On page 227 you'll find Luca's Top 10 - I have the Bulgari Black and it's excellent. Also on his recommendation I've bought Yohji Homme and Caron's Yatagan and they're both excellent too.

So: arm yourself with some knowledge, and then hit Sephora and Macy's (bear in mind that you won't be able to get everything at Sephora as they have a bit of a bias - they're part of the LVMH group which owns, amongst others, Guerlain, Parfums Dior and Parfums Givenchy).
posted by forallmankind at 8:54 PM on March 8, 2006

Oh, and to echo zpousman - if you don't already, you might want to check out an unscented deodorant. Splashing on a good perfume and then shoving $3 Suave under your arms is rather like serving filet mignon and then pouring ketchup on it....
posted by forallmankind at 10:52 PM on March 8, 2006

Rule of thumb for how much cologne to use: If another person can smell it at more than an arm's length away, it's too much.
posted by madman at 12:04 AM on March 9, 2006

I can't believe this hasn't been mentioned (or maybe I missed it) but go shopping with a female friend whose advice you not only trust but who is happy to tell you that it stinks when it does.
posted by mr_silver at 12:56 AM on March 9, 2006

What smells good on you will depend on your skin type. The oils in your skin will mean that something could smell great on you but like cat's pee on someone else. And vice versa.

At Boots in the UK (big pharmacy chain) they sell sets of five or six different designer aftershaves (and perfumes too, for women). I'm pretty sure somewhere like JC Penney or Macy's would do a similar thing. So if you can't blag samples from the sales counters, you could get a set of miniatures and try different ones until you find one you like.

Oh, and Old Spice will never, ever be a good choice. Trust me on this.
posted by essexjan at 2:03 AM on March 9, 2006

Classics are classics for a reason. If you start with a few of the mens' classics -- say, Eau Sauvage, Aqua di Parma, a good sandalwood, a good essence of limes -- then you'll have a sense of where you want to go from there, towards fresher scents or 'darker' ones. And no, you will not be able to judge a good cologne from the first spritz. Dab your pressure points and wait.

Creed's range is old-school and expensive. It is also worth every penny. You'll need to go to a luxury store to find it (Neiman Marcus, et al. in the US) but there's a wide enough selection to help you appreciate what a good scent smells like.
posted by holgate at 3:48 AM on March 9, 2006

At the risk of seeming distinctly low-budget and unsophisticated, I'll throw out Avatar, by Coty. It's not expensive or high-end, a bottle is like $10, but neither is it one of the scents everyone knows. A number of women have told me I smell good when I'm wearing it. That said, I'm sure I could smell even better with some of the advice in this thread...

Remember that you're the one who's going to be smelling it all day.

Actually, you won't -- you'll mostly stop smelling it after about five minutes, and only catch the occasional whiff throughout the day.
posted by kindall at 7:28 AM on March 9, 2006

Wow! Some great advice here-thank you folks!

It seems general consensus is don't buy cheap rubbish, try a few and see the reaction, and don't overdo it.

essexjan, it didn't occur to me that they sold sets of the stuff so I had a look at the Boots website and they've got a 5 piece tester set on half price at the moment. I may nip into town tomorrow and invest.
posted by 999 at 10:53 AM on March 9, 2006

I'd say, wait until you start dating and have her select something as part of a shopping date. I dated a woman who was really scent-affected. She insisted on it shopping for it and we got something that really worked for her. Later, I made it part of the fun of exploring with a partner.

Be aware that you will only be able to try out maybe 4 scents, and it wouldn't hurt to bring some coffee or coffee beans with you to sniff or to have her sniff between scents. They do a good job of getting a smell out of your head.
posted by plinth at 11:08 AM on March 9, 2006

If you're anywhere near London Les Senteurs in Belgravia is your friend. It's not as wide as the Liberty department, but it has some exclusive colognes. They also do mail-order sample sets at a really good price: you can order six at a time for £2 each.
posted by holgate at 12:02 PM on March 9, 2006

Keep in mind that aftershave and cologne are two different things. Alcohol is an important ingredient in a scent because of its volatility -- as the alcohol evaporates from your skin, it carries the scent molecules with it. Without alcohol, you're likely to be the only person who knows you have anything on. Because aftershave is meant to condition your skin after you shave (mostly to soothe razor burn and/or to close pores), it generally has less alcohol in it. (Think about putting alcohol on an open wound.) As a result, aftershave will have less impact than cologne.

In addition, aftershave will tend to have less oils because these oils often irritate the skin. Since the oils are what contain the fragrance, the aftershave will generally have less fragrance.

Scents are composed of notes. Top notes are the most volatile and last about 15 minutes. Middle notes last about an hour and the bottom notes for several hours. The different notes might smell different, so that's why it's important you wear a scent for a day or so before deciding if you like it.

Your skin will be a factor in how a scent behaves. Oily skin will hold a scent longer than dry skin. The ph level of your skin will determine how the ingredients in a scent will react. This means that a scent on someone else may not be the same as on you.
posted by forrest at 2:43 PM on March 9, 2006

I also can't believe it took as long as it did for someone to suggest having a gal pal go shopping with you. I've bought some smellin sauces only once in the last 5 years or so, at the behest of a friend who wanted me to try one, so I made her take me shopping for it.

If you wear it, remmber that the scent will last roughly twice as long when applied to areas with hair (chest, fore-arms, etc), as hair holds scent better than skin (ever smelled a girl's hair the morning after she spent the night in a smoky bar?).

I agree with the aforementioned advice that you shouldn't settle for cheap. You can always get a custom one put together, if you have that kind of cash.

But as a 27 yo male working the clubs with his friends in NYC, I can say that most of us have long since realized its an expense best forgone.
posted by allkindsoftime at 4:05 PM on March 9, 2006

The only people who should be able to smell it is you and anyone you hug.

I would take the "you" out of that. If you wear a scent with any regularity, your brain will soon tune out the smell. If you apply the scent based on being able to smell it yourself, you'll soon find yourself applying more and more, to the increasing discomfort of everyone around you. This is one reason why some people end up reeking of perfume or cologne. When you first start using a scent, figure out how much it takes for a nice subtle odor, and then stick to that amount, even if you can't smell it any more.
posted by klausness at 7:06 PM on March 9, 2006

Many people are hyper-sensitive to fragrances: I get migraines from colognes and perfumes. Don't feel you must splash anything on yourself. If your date develops a headache, it might be your scent!
posted by Carol Anne at 5:42 AM on March 10, 2006

The fiance and I have started taking fenugreek supplements, which has the nice effect of making colognes and the like unnecessary and making us both smell faintly of maple syrup up close (*ahem*, strongly when very close). Of course, consult your medical practitioner before taking any unfamiliar supplements for any reason.
posted by Cricket at 6:43 AM on March 10, 2006

Fenugreek is a digestive aid. As an emollient it is used in poultices for boils, cysts and other complaints. Reducing the sugar level of the blood, it is used in diabetes in conjunction with insulin. It also lowers blood pressure. In the East, beverages are made from the seed to ease stomach trouble. The chemical make-up is curiously similar to cod liver oil, for which a decoction of the seed is sometimes used as a substitute. Many other properties are ascribed to it in India and the East and not surprisingly include aphrodisiac
posted by hortense at 8:49 AM on March 10, 2006