What's our new last name?
December 5, 2019 7:47 AM Subscribe
My spouse and I have decided to choose and take a new surname--but we're struggling to find the right one. What should we name ourselves?
After talking about doing so for a long time, we've decided to go ahead and change our last names. We're excited to take a new name together, but we have yet to find something we love.
There are a bunch of reasons for making the change, but the most important is that we want to take a new name to symbolize that we will not carry on the negative (and often abusive) traditions of our families. A new surname is our way of declaring a commitment to creating a family founded on love, kindness, and acceptance.
We're open to pretty much anything (within the constraints below). We just haven't come up with the right name yet. Help?
Criteria:
-Doesn't have to specifically reference/connect to our reasoning for the change, but we wouldn't mind if it did (tbh, we'd be okay with a name that sounds like something from an unsubtle nineteenth-century didactic novel)
-Needs to sound dignified enough for a law career
-A two-syllable name would be preferable, but not required
-We'd rather avoid names that starting with "E" and "N" so that it works smoothly with our first names
Other notes:
-We're white and living in the US, and we don't want to culturally appropriate a name
-Combining our former last names is not an option, as there is no reasonable way to do so
-There are no places important to us that would make good names
So, what's our new last name?
After talking about doing so for a long time, we've decided to go ahead and change our last names. We're excited to take a new name together, but we have yet to find something we love.
There are a bunch of reasons for making the change, but the most important is that we want to take a new name to symbolize that we will not carry on the negative (and often abusive) traditions of our families. A new surname is our way of declaring a commitment to creating a family founded on love, kindness, and acceptance.
We're open to pretty much anything (within the constraints below). We just haven't come up with the right name yet. Help?
Criteria:
-Doesn't have to specifically reference/connect to our reasoning for the change, but we wouldn't mind if it did (tbh, we'd be okay with a name that sounds like something from an unsubtle nineteenth-century didactic novel)
-Needs to sound dignified enough for a law career
-A two-syllable name would be preferable, but not required
-We'd rather avoid names that starting with "E" and "N" so that it works smoothly with our first names
Other notes:
-We're white and living in the US, and we don't want to culturally appropriate a name
-Combining our former last names is not an option, as there is no reasonable way to do so
-There are no places important to us that would make good names
So, what's our new last name?
Constance (meaning standing together)
posted by wellred at 8:00 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by wellred at 8:00 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
I like names that sound like positive qualities:
Merritt / Merit
Win / Wynne
Love
Strong
Blythe (Cheerful)
Clemence (Mercy)
Constance
Honor
Justice / Justin
Grace
Noble
Peace / Pease
Truman
Vera (Verus means Truth in Latin)
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:00 AM on December 5, 2019 [8 favorites]
Merritt / Merit
Win / Wynne
Love
Strong
Blythe (Cheerful)
Clemence (Mercy)
Constance
Honor
Justice / Justin
Grace
Noble
Peace / Pease
Truman
Vera (Verus means Truth in Latin)
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:00 AM on December 5, 2019 [8 favorites]
founded on love, kindness, and acceptance
Rogers. Like Fred.
posted by bfranklin at 8:05 AM on December 5, 2019 [39 favorites]
Rogers. Like Fred.
posted by bfranklin at 8:05 AM on December 5, 2019 [39 favorites]
Harmon, as in Harmony. Slater, as in clean slate. Lovejoy, as in, um, love and joy. Or Flockhart, as in creating a new flock together?
posted by FifteenShocks at 8:05 AM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by FifteenShocks at 8:05 AM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
Mason, because you're building a strong foundation of love, kindness, and acceptance.
posted by kimberussell at 8:05 AM on December 5, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by kimberussell at 8:05 AM on December 5, 2019 [9 favorites]
Love
posted by rue72 at 8:12 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by rue72 at 8:12 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Interesting. I get the idea that jamming your surnames together wouldn’t work, but can you come up with something based on their meanings and riffing metaphorically from them? I assume you are not comfortable posting them, so all I can offer is the idea. Good luck with your quest.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 8:13 AM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 8:13 AM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
Rappaport, because it is fun to say
posted by thelonius at 8:14 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 8:14 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Beach; Forest; Woods; Rivers; Holmes; Pondfield; Day; Summers; Mooney; Green.
Day
May
Long
posted by mareli at 8:20 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Day
May
Long
posted by mareli at 8:20 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Loving is a real surname.
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 8:20 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 8:20 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Rappaport is a specifically Jewish name.
Do you have any books you love? You could use the author's name as an homage? Or a favorite character from a book? Or a place name from the book?
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:21 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Do you have any books you love? You could use the author's name as an homage? Or a favorite character from a book? Or a place name from the book?
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:21 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Unsubtle nineteenth-century didactic novel makes me think of literary possibilities. Darling? Wimsey? I'm sure there's more along these lines.
posted by toastedcheese at 8:21 AM on December 5, 2019
posted by toastedcheese at 8:21 AM on December 5, 2019
My best friend's last name is a nom de guerre (a name given to people who were in war together) and it means "go with good heart" in French. So maybe find something that is appropriate to your history that can have a meaning special to you that isn't necessarily immediately obvious to anyone else?
posted by xingcat at 8:23 AM on December 5, 2019
posted by xingcat at 8:23 AM on December 5, 2019
I also like the virtues. Constance, Mercy. Or you could use Anglicizations of the original Aristotelian virtues: how about Arete (excellence); Andreia (courage); Aletheia (honesty)?
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:27 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:27 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Caritas? (Latin term for love of all humankind)
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:30 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:30 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
oh how about Amandi (latin for loving)
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:32 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:32 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
I knew some people who do this who went with an animal name.
posted by FencingGal at 8:35 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by FencingGal at 8:35 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
A couple I was once friends with chose a new last name by taking a subset of the letters in their old names and anagramming.
Another friend’s family chose a new last name, but pre internet, and it turns out there was a porn star with the same first/last combo as her (who was active when they chose the new name). So you might have a quick google with your proposed new first+last just to check.
posted by nat at 8:40 AM on December 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
Another friend’s family chose a new last name, but pre internet, and it turns out there was a porn star with the same first/last combo as her (who was active when they chose the new name). So you might have a quick google with your proposed new first+last just to check.
posted by nat at 8:40 AM on December 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
We're white and living in the US, and we don't want to culturally appropriate a name
If you want to go the geeky route here, the US Census Bureau tabulates a top 1,000 most common surnames in a handy spreadsheet which you can sort by ethnicity. (File A at the bottom of the page is the csv file). You might take a look through to see if there's anything you like. You could also put some limiters on fields to limit length (three-letter names are unlikely to have two syllables, for example) or other characteristics that you'd prefer.
posted by epanalepsis at 8:42 AM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
If you want to go the geeky route here, the US Census Bureau tabulates a top 1,000 most common surnames in a handy spreadsheet which you can sort by ethnicity. (File A at the bottom of the page is the csv file). You might take a look through to see if there's anything you like. You could also put some limiters on fields to limit length (three-letter names are unlikely to have two syllables, for example) or other characteristics that you'd prefer.
posted by epanalepsis at 8:42 AM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
What's wrong with Bambiraptor?
Pax, Nova (new), Astra(star), Star
Names come from places, attributes, professions. Is there a place you feel connected to? Atributes you aspire to? A profession you want to honor? Or take the name of a martyr or hero - Biko, King, Day, O'Keefe, Lincoln. Anagram server, if useful. Or pick my favorite color-Green.
posted by theora55 at 8:43 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Pax, Nova (new), Astra(star), Star
Names come from places, attributes, professions. Is there a place you feel connected to? Atributes you aspire to? A profession you want to honor? Or take the name of a martyr or hero - Biko, King, Day, O'Keefe, Lincoln. Anagram server, if useful. Or pick my favorite color-Green.
posted by theora55 at 8:43 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Bonny for fair/beautiful (plus Anne Bonny!). Curtis, meaning polite, well-bred and courteous.
posted by DSime at 8:47 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by DSime at 8:47 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
I have friends who did this and changed their last name to Hearth.
posted by ChuraChura at 8:49 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 8:49 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Just to second one of mareli's suggestions - a dear friend of mine took the surname Summers after some family stuff led her to want to drop her birth surname.
It's done her proud - it's a strong name with positive associations of warmth and growth; treads a fine line between being a thing and just-a-surname; it's easy to spell and pronounce, but unusual enough that there aren't hundreds of people with the same surname.
For all the bright, warm summers you'll have together in the future with your new name.
posted by penguin pie at 8:59 AM on December 5, 2019 [9 favorites]
It's done her proud - it's a strong name with positive associations of warmth and growth; treads a fine line between being a thing and just-a-surname; it's easy to spell and pronounce, but unusual enough that there aren't hundreds of people with the same surname.
For all the bright, warm summers you'll have together in the future with your new name.
posted by penguin pie at 8:59 AM on December 5, 2019 [9 favorites]
Newhouse
posted by amtho at 9:00 AM on December 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by amtho at 9:00 AM on December 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
Dearheart
(has bonus connotations of an awesome no-nonsense character if you’re familiar with Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels)
posted by ocherdraco at 9:11 AM on December 5, 2019
(has bonus connotations of an awesome no-nonsense character if you’re familiar with Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels)
posted by ocherdraco at 9:11 AM on December 5, 2019
Throckmorton
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 9:25 AM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 9:25 AM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
Wright. (Together, you're making a life.)
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:32 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:32 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Progress
posted by tuesdayschild at 10:53 AM on December 5, 2019
posted by tuesdayschild at 10:53 AM on December 5, 2019
DeVogt (pronounced “devote”).
posted by Spinneret at 11:06 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Spinneret at 11:06 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Lee.
like the sheltered side of something, now you're safe and sound.
posted by speakeasy at 11:15 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
like the sheltered side of something, now you're safe and sound.
posted by speakeasy at 11:15 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
I like the idea of a nature-based name like someone suggested above, either the English word (Fields, Woods, etc) or a name that has that meaning, especially if you both love a particular place outdoors.
posted by pinochiette at 11:47 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by pinochiette at 11:47 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
I really don’t see any other option for lawyers here than Goodman.
posted by Short End Of A Wishbone at 11:52 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Short End Of A Wishbone at 11:52 AM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Rappaport is a specifically Jewish name.
I did not know that! No disrespect intended.
posted by thelonius at 12:23 PM on December 5, 2019
I did not know that! No disrespect intended.
posted by thelonius at 12:23 PM on December 5, 2019
Best answer: When I did this, we chose a nature-related name that we thought would be easy to spell and pronounce, and which wasn't too far-out as a last name. But nature was our Thing. Are there interests you share that a name might be associated with? An historical figure or fictional place or character you both really like?
posted by metasarah at 12:23 PM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by metasarah at 12:23 PM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
I have friends who went back through their family history and gave their children names of women whose names had died out - I thought that was a lovely way to honor these women and it also gives any future genealogists a boost. So maybe look back to your great great great grandmother's maiden name? You might find something you like.
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:53 PM on December 5, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:53 PM on December 5, 2019 [9 favorites]
Spencer
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:45 PM on December 5, 2019
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:45 PM on December 5, 2019
Venerable, a name to grow into.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 2:20 PM on December 5, 2019
posted by a humble nudibranch at 2:20 PM on December 5, 2019
Gregory.
One of my college professors (over 20 years ago now, and she was definitely middle-aged by then) and her husband took a new last name for themselves when they got married, just like you, and Gregory is the name they chose. I like it because it's unusual as a last name, yet super easy to spell and remember, and it sounds like it would fit your nineteenth century requirement too.
I think Ms. Gregory would be tickled pink if you upheld the 'tradition'.
I love the idea of this becoming the new last name for this situation!
posted by widdershins at 2:24 PM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
One of my college professors (over 20 years ago now, and she was definitely middle-aged by then) and her husband took a new last name for themselves when they got married, just like you, and Gregory is the name they chose. I like it because it's unusual as a last name, yet super easy to spell and remember, and it sounds like it would fit your nineteenth century requirement too.
I think Ms. Gregory would be tickled pink if you upheld the 'tradition'.
I love the idea of this becoming the new last name for this situation!
posted by widdershins at 2:24 PM on December 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
I love the idea of Rogers.
posted by kathrynm at 4:47 PM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by kathrynm at 4:47 PM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Best answer: If you think about it, there's going to be some kind of touchstone in your lives, something significant to you: a place, an object, a plant or animal, a tree, even a colour. An author, a character. A word from a song. Something that can give you the seed you need, from which your name and your shared life can grow.
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:28 PM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:28 PM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Anew
Renew
Brightmoon
Sunbeam
Warming
Heathcliff
Sweets
Bacon
Worldpeace
Raptor
Calico
Pomme
Tara
Boots
The two couples I know who did this both looked in their family trees for a name. One used that family tree name and the other took the English translation of a family tree name (which ended up being "Fox").
posted by jillithd at 6:35 PM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Renew
Brightmoon
Sunbeam
Warming
Heathcliff
Sweets
Bacon
Worldpeace
Raptor
Calico
Pomme
Tara
Boots
The two couples I know who did this both looked in their family trees for a name. One used that family tree name and the other took the English translation of a family tree name (which ended up being "Fox").
posted by jillithd at 6:35 PM on December 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Revel
posted by exceptinsects at 6:49 PM on December 5, 2019
posted by exceptinsects at 6:49 PM on December 5, 2019
Fancy
posted by exceptinsects at 6:50 PM on December 5, 2019
posted by exceptinsects at 6:50 PM on December 5, 2019
How about an anagram using the letters of your current last names?
posted by Philemon at 7:00 PM on December 5, 2019
posted by Philemon at 7:00 PM on December 5, 2019
Don't use the most common English language family names. You will be lost in the telephone book. You may have worse luck with one or more people sharing the same name. Not good when bench warrants are issued.
And there are unusual names with the never-ending problems of spelling and pronunciation. It's not fun to constantly have your name mispronounced during an awards ceremony. Or have trouble with wrongly-addressed bills and email. You don't want a contract voided or a government document denied because of a misspelled or misunderstood name.
If possible, avoid commemorative names. Think about the famous people who have fallen from grace in the last decade. Even if you are not troubled by the association, others might be.
If you want to be easily remembered by clients, make it a family name that is simple, short, and sincere. Think about attributes that you admire -- Strong, Swift, Light, Keys, Honor, Wright (right), Knight, Sterling, August.
Or use a trade name -- Baker/Baxter, Brewer/Brewster, Spinner/Spinster, Weaver/Webster, Taylor, Tanner, Chandler, Carver, Piper, Parker, Farmer, Fisher, Harper, Hunter.
Or consider common names from nature -- Woods, Meadows, Glenn, Lake, West, Winter, Hart (deer), Hawk, Snow, Ray (sunshine), House, Roads, Brown, Green.
These names have the added benefit that when someone says, "What does that mean?" you have a built-in-answer.
If you want to make the name a bit more memorable, combine two simple names. There are fewer people named John and Mary Baxter-West, compared to those using just one of the family names.
posted by TrishaU at 8:31 PM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
And there are unusual names with the never-ending problems of spelling and pronunciation. It's not fun to constantly have your name mispronounced during an awards ceremony. Or have trouble with wrongly-addressed bills and email. You don't want a contract voided or a government document denied because of a misspelled or misunderstood name.
If possible, avoid commemorative names. Think about the famous people who have fallen from grace in the last decade. Even if you are not troubled by the association, others might be.
If you want to be easily remembered by clients, make it a family name that is simple, short, and sincere. Think about attributes that you admire -- Strong, Swift, Light, Keys, Honor, Wright (right), Knight, Sterling, August.
Or use a trade name -- Baker/Baxter, Brewer/Brewster, Spinner/Spinster, Weaver/Webster, Taylor, Tanner, Chandler, Carver, Piper, Parker, Farmer, Fisher, Harper, Hunter.
Or consider common names from nature -- Woods, Meadows, Glenn, Lake, West, Winter, Hart (deer), Hawk, Snow, Ray (sunshine), House, Roads, Brown, Green.
These names have the added benefit that when someone says, "What does that mean?" you have a built-in-answer.
If you want to make the name a bit more memorable, combine two simple names. There are fewer people named John and Mary Baxter-West, compared to those using just one of the family names.
posted by TrishaU at 8:31 PM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
I dream of being a Ravenswood.
posted by h00py at 5:25 AM on December 6, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by h00py at 5:25 AM on December 6, 2019 [2 favorites]
Homestead.
posted by jillithd at 6:35 AM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by jillithd at 6:35 AM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]
Amity
posted by fingersandtoes at 11:39 AM on December 6, 2019
posted by fingersandtoes at 11:39 AM on December 6, 2019
Morgen (or Morgan) -- German for morning, i.e., a new beginning.
posted by DrAstroZoom at 12:28 PM on December 6, 2019
posted by DrAstroZoom at 12:28 PM on December 6, 2019
I know someone with a completely unique name. If you google them, you get them. There can be some shelter in a name that is distinctive but not rare.
posted by Altomentis at 8:37 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Altomentis at 8:37 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Well, it took us a while because Life Happens, but we finally figured out our new last name! Thanks for all the many, many great answers. You gave us a lot of food for thought and sparked some great ideas.
We ended up finding inspiration in fiction we both love, and we've chosen what I think will be the perfect new name. Thanks again, all!
posted by Bambiraptor at 7:46 PM on February 28, 2020
We ended up finding inspiration in fiction we both love, and we've chosen what I think will be the perfect new name. Thanks again, all!
posted by Bambiraptor at 7:46 PM on February 28, 2020
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by amro at 7:53 AM on December 5, 2019 [2 favorites]